i think my weighted blanket is too heavy

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > i think my weighted blanket is too heavy

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City of Glompton

this morning when i woke up i had to inflate myself by blowing on my finger cartoon style before i could get out of bed

# ? Jan 3, 2020 01:12

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 12:37

City of Glompton

you've heard that time and pressure make diamonds, well it's true, after 8 hours under this thing i'm a 10 on the Mohs scale

# ? Jan 3, 2020 01:12

City of Glompton

my girlfriend has started sticking four leaf clovers on my rear end before bed

# ? Jan 3, 2020 01:12

City of Glompton

on the plus side, no more wrinkles!

# ? Jan 3, 2020 01:13

pixaal: All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

I went to sleep on the sixty nineth floor

I woke up in the basement

sig by owlhawk911

# ? Jan 3, 2020 01:21

Plant MONSTER.: I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

I want to sleep with one of those awful super heavy aprons they make you wear when they x-ray you, that would tucker me out i wager. the heavier the thing, the better i sleep

# ? Jan 3, 2020 01:23

nut

my flat stomach would look great if it wasn�t bordered by flat hips

# ? Jan 3, 2020 01:32

City of Glompton

pixaal posted:

I went to sleep on the sixty nineth floor

I woke up in the basement

ah you requested the turn down for what service

# ? Jan 3, 2020 03:43

Macnult

10 reps
20 minute nap
repeat 2 more times for a full set

# ? Jan 3, 2020 04:06

roomforthetuna: I don't need to know anything about virii! My CUSTOM PROGRAM keeps me protected! It's not like they'll try to come in through the Internet or something!

I thought my weighted blanked was too heavy, but it turned out I was just on Jupiter.

Edit: you could make your Earth-blanket 10% lighter by putting it on Uranus, lol.

# ? Jan 3, 2020 06:46

Lil Swamp Booger Baby

I'll hold it up a bit for you as you sleep OP

# ? Jan 3, 2020 07:28

owlhawk911: come chill with me, in byob

Macnult posted:

10 reps
20 minute nap
repeat 2 more times for a full set

up your blanket weight periodically to maximize gains

https://giant.gfycat.com/PlasticAngryHousefly.webm
_{this sig a mf'n vanisher joint. gobbos by khanstant}

# ? Jan 3, 2020 08:49

nut

roomforthetuna posted:

I thought my weighted blanked was too heavy, but it turned out I was just on Jupiter.

Edit: you could make your Earth-blanket 10% lighter by putting it on Uranus, lol.

lol

# ? Jan 3, 2020 12:37

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

City of Glompton posted:

ah you requested the turn down for what service

Lmao

# ? Jan 3, 2020 13:21

Slush Garbo: FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK

City of Glompton posted:

ah you requested the turn down for what service

lol

# ? Jan 3, 2020 15:42

google THIS

City of Glompton posted:

ah you requested the turn down for what service

# ? Jan 3, 2020 16:05

Manifisto

I now find myself unconsciously singing a lullaby to the grapes as I put them in the winepress

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Jan 3, 2020 17:04

Barco Fiesta: a fantasy of olives

his bod is sweaty, bed soft, blanket's heavy
he brushed his teeth and laid down already, time for beddy

# ? Jan 4, 2020 02:11

Manifisto

Glass Bottom Boat posted:

his bod is sweaty, bed soft, blanket's heavy
he brushed his teeth and laid down already, time for beddy

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Jan 4, 2020 02:31

Goons Are Gifts

Glass Bottom Boat posted:

his bod is sweaty, bed soft, blanket's heavy
he brushed his teeth and laid down already, time for beddy

# ? Jan 4, 2020 02:54

Chinatown: by Fluffdaddy

Glass Bottom Boat posted:

his bod is sweaty, bed soft, blanket's heavy
he brushed his teeth and laid down already, time for beddy

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jan 4, 2020 04:07

Escape From Noise

Made a blanket fort from my weighted blanket. Now I am the scourge of the sleepover.

# ? Jan 4, 2020 04:55

Lil Swamp Booger Baby

Glass Bottom Boat posted:

his bod is sweaty, bed soft, blanket's heavy
he brushed his teeth and laid down already, time for beddy

# ? Jan 4, 2020 05:39

treasure bear

City of Glompton posted:

ah you requested the turn down for what service

Glass Bottom Boat posted:

his bod is sweaty, bed soft, blanket's heavy
he brushed his teeth and laid down already, time for beddy

# ? Jan 4, 2020 06:10

nut

i'm not even trying yet

*takes off weighted blanket and sleeps even more soundly*

# ? Jan 4, 2020 11:53

Crime on a Dime

Manifisto posted:

I now find myself unconsciously singing a lullaby to the grapes as I put them in the winepress

if you dont sing to pets or inanimate objects youre suspicious

# ? Jan 5, 2020 10:38

Chinatown: by Fluffdaddy

Posting from my weighted blanket at Pillowfort-Upon-Bed.

The kitchen is so far from here.

I must venture out soon.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 16:14

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

*gets out of bed and slips between the floorboards* oh whoops i think my weighted blanket might be a bit too heavy lol

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig
and thank u nesamdoom for the good loops

# ? Jan 6, 2020 01:41

nut

me: doc, i think something's wrong, I got a weighted blanket and went to sleep an outie and woke up an innie

doc: holy moly, the pressure from the blanket was enough to push in your belly button?

me: i was talking about my nips

# ? Jan 6, 2020 01:45