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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > i think my weighted blanket is too heavy
 
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

City of Glompton posted:

ah you requested the turn down for what service

Lmao

* # ¿ Jan 3, 2020 13:21
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# ¿ May 15, 2024 07:08
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Whoria Discordia posted:

"More weight!" I scream. The witchfinder frowns disapprovingly and gestures for the men to add another blanket. I lay prone beneath, dwarfed by the growing pile of blankets. The crowd watches with a mix of pity, fear, and awe. They had expected me to give up after the third, yet I have held my peace for five more hence. As the final blanket is added I let out an anguished groan. The judges lean in, anticipating my confession.

With the last of my strength I wheeze "more... weight..." before drifting off to dreamland. I am the coziest I have ever been.

The people of Salem jeer and boo, fed up with my poo poo.
* # ¿ Jan 7, 2020 21:38
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Barco Fiesta posted:

Snap back to reality, way too much gravity
Oh, what a tragedy bro
It's so blankety, can't take it back cause he lost
the receipt when he drove his car back from the store,
it don't matter, his sheets are more wet than before,
he's so damp that he knows, when he goes back to the Costco, that's when it's
Back to the lab again yo, this whole rhapsody
He better go return this blanket and hope it don't smash him

You better lose yourself in the blanket, it's weighted
You bought it, and now your sinking through the floor
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to go
to the bathroom before you get under the blanket

You better lose yourself in the blanket, it's weighted
You bought it, and now youre skining through the floor
I'm serious, listen, do not miss your chance to go
to the bathroom before you get trapped under the blanket
* # ¿ Jan 11, 2020 22:15
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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > i think my weighted blanket is too heavy