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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > i think my weighted blanket is too heavy
 
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The MUMPSorceress


^SHTPSTS

Glass Bottom Boat posted:

his bod is sweaty, bed soft, blanket's heavy
he brushed his teeth and laid down already, time for beddy


Thanks City of Glompton for the glorious sig

* # ¿ Jan 6, 2020 20:35
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# ¿ May 15, 2024 09:41
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The MUMPSorceress


^SHTPSTS

 i have been sleeping under a weighted blanket for years and now I can levitate 2cm off the ground wherever I go


Thanks City of Glompton for the glorious sig

* # ¿ Jan 6, 2020 20:36
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The MUMPSorceress


^SHTPSTS

canyoneer posted:

blanket keeps whispering to me that i am mortal, that my best years are behind me, and that i have only accomplished a fraction of what i had hoped for when i was younger, and that i have very few true friends left

that’s a heavy blanket man


Thanks City of Glompton for the glorious sig

* # ¿ Jan 6, 2020 22:38
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The MUMPSorceress


^SHTPSTS

 my weighted blanket was making this bizarre grating noise so I had it checked out and long story short it has sleep apnea and needs to lose weight urgently pls share your thoughts and prayers


Thanks City of Glompton for the glorious sig

* # ¿ Jan 7, 2020 01:59
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The MUMPSorceress


^SHTPSTS

google THIS posted:

Spike happily snuggles up in bed after his final battle with Vicious and pulls his blanket tight.

You're gonna carry that weight.

I like to picture spike and vicious in this post as cute little pit bulls and the battle as a hugging contest


Thanks City of Glompton for the glorious sig

* # ¿ Jan 7, 2020 05:27
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The MUMPSorceress


^SHTPSTS

Barco Fiesta posted:

Snap back to reality, way too much gravity
Oh, what a tragedy bro
It's so blankety, can't take it back cause he lost
the receipt when he drove his car back from the store,
it don't matter, his sheets are more wet than before,
he's so damp that he knows, when he goes back to the Costco, that's when it's
Back to the lab again yo, this whole rhapsody
He better go return this blanket and hope it don't smash him

You better lose yourself in the blanket, it's weighted
You bought it, and now your sinking through the floor
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to go
to the bathroom before you get under the blanket

You better lose yourself in the blanket, it's weighted
You bought it, and now youre skining through the floor
I'm serious, listen, do not miss your chance to go
to the bathroom before you get trapped under the blanket


Thanks City of Glompton for the glorious sig

* # ¿ Jan 11, 2020 21:59
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# ¿ May 15, 2024 09:41
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The MUMPSorceress


^SHTPSTS

 my weighted blanket is constantly bringing up poo poo like substance duality right before bed and I'm like bitch this is why I take ambien


Thanks City of Glompton for the glorious sig

* # ¿ Jan 14, 2020 06:33
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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > i think my weighted blanket is too heavy