Waffle House do's and dont's etiquette thread

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > Waffle House do's and dont's etiquette thread

«‹›3 »

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

smothered? covered?!? words are supposed to have meaning but I can't parse this lingo. pls post helpful W. H. tips to help us all survive winter.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 05:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 3, 2024 18:35

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

You want em scattered, smothered, covered and topped, if you ordered them like you did when we hung out.

You want em scattered, smothered and peppered if you're me.

You want them out of the dumpster if you're the raccoon in the parking lot.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 05:15

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

When you go to waffle house it's polite to take a seat, look at the menu, and immediately begin screaming at your date at top volume about his ex girlfriend.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 05:16

Heather Papps: hello friend

Do: eat a waffle
Dont: stand on table, sing national anthem

# ? Jan 5, 2020 05:16

Twenty Four

hamjobs posted:

You want them out of the dumpster if you're the raccoon in the parking lot.

why you gotta dox me like that?

# ? Jan 5, 2020 05:17

Macnult

that large bucket behind the counter isn�t coffee, but if you ask politely they�ll top you off no problem

# ? Jan 5, 2020 05:23

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

# ? Jan 5, 2020 05:25

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

when I met yamshops I ordered a regular sized hash covered & topped

:eng101:

covered means cheesy, and topped means topped with chilli

needless to say, it loving owned

# ? Jan 5, 2020 05:28

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Do: pecan waffle and coffee
Don't: peanut butter and chocolate waffle with Dr pepper

# ? Jan 5, 2020 05:29

nut

do: reinforce the housing structure with a sturdier building material such as concrete or plywood
don't: abduct the german child that may wander in and start eating the walls

# ? Jan 5, 2020 14:24

Stoner Sloth

nut posted:

do: reinforce the housing structure with a sturdier building material such as concrete or plywood
don't: abduct the german child that may wander in and start eating the walls

sigs by the awesome Manifisto, Vanisher, City of Glompton, Pot Smoke Phoenix, Nut, Heather Papps,Prof Crocodile, knuthgrush, Ohtori Akio, Teapot, Saosyhant, Dumb Sex Parrot, w4ddl3d33, and nesamdoom!! - ty friends!

# ? Jan 5, 2020 14:31

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

Heather Papps posted:

Dont: stand on table, sing national anthem

Actually considered bad manners around here if you don't do this the second you walk in.

Do: go after midnight, substantially less than sober
don't: be surprised when there are very strange people there

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Jan 5, 2020 16:15

owlhawk911: come chill with me, in byob

wafflehouse rule #1: eat some mother-frickin WAFFLES

if they have some indecipherable waffle code gently caress it just bang your utensils rhythmically on the table and chant "waffles" ever-louder until they appear before you

a list of things that *aren't* good on waffles would honestly be shorter than things that are. i had wafflehouse thanksgiving once, mashed potatoes/corn/turkey with cranberry sauce and gravy to put on top. it was dank

https://giant.gfycat.com/PlasticAngryHousefly.webm
_{this sig a mf'n vanisher joint. gobbos by khanstant}

# ? Jan 5, 2020 16:53

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Do: order the raisin toast with grits

Don't: order Gritty raisin toast, he's allergic

# ? Jan 5, 2020 17:51

Escape From Noise

Do: Let the regular tell the staff that he just got married, even if it does interrupt your order.

Don't: Sarcastically and loudly ask "Who gives a gently caress?" thus escalating into a fistfight, then a knife fight in which you are wielding a butter knife causing the cops to be called, then resist arrest, then brawl with the cops causing them to mace one of their own, then use that downed cop's club to fend off blows from the other one's club blows, then continue to refuse to surrender once they threaten you with a police dog.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 19:21

Escape From Noise

I also find it funny that both the noise metal band Unsane and Hooty and the Blowfish have albums called Scattered, Smothered & Covered. Although the album art for Unsane's album has more sinister connotations.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 19:24

Queen-Of-Hearts: "I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"

Don't: Ask what the specials are today.

Do: use the saltshaker to cast a circle and take your pick of the demonic familiar buffet.

:h: sig by Prof. Crocodile :h:
:byodame: BYOB spells: Mutually Assured Kindness

# ? Jan 5, 2020 19:32

owlhawk911: come chill with me, in byob

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

Do: Let the regular tell the staff that he just got married, even if it does interrupt your order.

Don't: Sarcastically and loudly ask "Who gives a gently caress?" thus escalating into a fistfight, then a knife fight in which you are wielding a butter knife causing the cops to be called, then resist arrest, then brawl with the cops causing them to mace one of their own, then use that downed cop's club to fend off blows from the other one's club blows, then continue to refuse to surrender once they threaten you with a police dog.

i'm not sure if you got these backwards or not. wafflehouses are special places, breakfast after sundown brings something out in people

https://giant.gfycat.com/PlasticAngryHousefly.webm
_{this sig a mf'n vanisher joint. gobbos by khanstant}

# ? Jan 5, 2020 19:47

treasure bear

no, you don't get to pick your waffle from a tank

# ? Jan 5, 2020 19:51

Escape From Noise

owlhawk911 posted:

i'm not sure if you got these backwards or not. wafflehouses are special places, breakfast after sundown brings something out in people

I'm just going by the words of the guy who lived it but you definitely have a point.

# ? Jan 5, 2020 19:53

BoldFrankensteinMir

Don't play any songs on the Waffle House jukebox but the specifically made novelty songs about Waffle House! The other buttons alert the staff that you are a daywalker, limiting your menu choices and ensuring you will never meet that franchise location's resident master vampire.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 00:32

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

I have never been to a Waffle House. I have only lived in non-Waffle House areas of the country. I did not even know that such a thing existed. However, when my parents moved to a retirement community in Florida, I became aware of Waffle House. There were two such establishments near where they live. Both appeared to be abandoned, waiting to be demolished as leftovers from the last hurricane. But my wife pointed out that no, there was life in these ancient structures. I wanted very badly to visit, but my parents were in charge of the itinerary and were terrified of the place. I had planned on going there with just my wife, but we ran out of time, and also the nearest one seemed to be in a freeway roundabout and I could not figure out how to get to it. One day I will visit you, Waffle House.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 00:40

BoldFrankensteinMir

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Both appeared to be abandoned, waiting to be demolished as leftovers from the last hurricane.

Yup, that's the decor. Like a restaurant run by squatters. Which is why it's full of people at 3 AM.

I used to sneak out early with a buddy to go have Waffle House breakfast before school. It will always have the "maybe today we'll ditch home-room and have milkshakes and draw truckers" feel to it.

Sig by Heather Papps

# ? Jan 6, 2020 00:48

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

fun fact : FEMA is partnered with waffle house

FEMA guages how badly an area was affected by any given natural disaster based on how many waffle houses in said area are open for business or shut down due to natch disast

:eng101:

# ? Jan 6, 2020 01:14

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

Do: tip your working girls or guys at the waffle house. they provide a unique service and great food

Don't : use their restroom. trust me on this one. just pack along a moist towelette or something

# ? Jan 6, 2020 01:17

nut

prepuce repurposed posted:

Don't : use their restroom. trust me on this one. just pack along a moist towelette or something

the towelette was dry when i brought it in

# ? Jan 6, 2020 01:19

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Do: make friendly conversation with your waffle House staff

Don't: feed them memes

# ? Jan 6, 2020 01:19

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

Lol

# ? Jan 6, 2020 01:20

owlhawk911: come chill with me, in byob

didn't realize there was a chain called Waffle House. i have been to many wafflehouses, but never an official Waffle House franchise. can anyone who has visited both compare/contrast?

https://giant.gfycat.com/PlasticAngryHousefly.webm
_{this sig a mf'n vanisher joint. gobbos by khanstant}

# ? Jan 6, 2020 02:07

nut

i went to an ihop once and let me tell u i did not hop on the way out

# ? Jan 6, 2020 02:09

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

I'm only aware of the franchise itself :shrug:

# ? Jan 6, 2020 02:11

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

nut posted:

i went to an ihop once and let me tell u i did not hop on the way out

# ? Jan 6, 2020 02:12

xcheopis

I remember when the IHop in Berkeley was pretty good. Things have changed and not for the better! :corsair:

# ? Jan 6, 2020 02:38

Escape From Noise

xcheopis posted:

I remember when the IHop in Berkeley was pretty good. Things have changed and not for the better!

Could be worse. Could be Denny's.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 04:59

xcheopis

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

Could be worse. Could be Denny's.

Ok, to add to my tales of being epically high on acid: I was sort of homeless and crashing on a couch down in San Jose. Myself and one of the guys who lived there dropped acid late one evening and decided to go to Denny's, where the two of us proceeded to eat our way through the menu. The entire menu. It took hours and we had to keep giving them money to prove we weren't scammers and I'm fairly certain they may have started selling tickets to watch two scrawny druggies eat their weight in food because we definitely were attracting attention.

Didn't even feel ill afterward. Good times.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 05:24

biosterous

there are no Waffle Houses here

how do i lure one to ontario?

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Jan 6, 2020 05:28

Escape From Noise

xcheopis posted:

Ok, to add to my tales of being epically high on acid: I was sort of homeless and crashing on a couch down in San Jose. Myself and one of the guys who lived there dropped acid late one evening and decided to go to Denny's, where the two of us proceeded to eat our way through the menu. The entire menu. It took hours and we had to keep giving them money to prove we weren't scammers and I'm fairly certain they may have started selling tickets to watch two scrawny druggies eat their weight in food because we definitely were attracting attention.

Didn't even feel ill afterward. Good times.

I'm surprised you were able to poop afterwards. I rarely ever get constipated. Among the few times I have been it was after eating at Denny's. It always felt like I'd swallowed cement and had my guts worked over with a lead pipe.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 05:34

xcheopis

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

I'm surprised you were able to poop afterwards. I rarely ever get constipated. Among the few times I have been it was after eating at Denny's. It always felt like I'd swallowed cement and had my guts worked over with a lead pipe.

Wasn't an issue at all. LSD always did right by me.

# ? Jan 6, 2020 05:50