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Are expats allowed to post here or are us traitorous cunts persona non grata? I got a care package for Christmas and it was just Tim tams, vegemite and vegemite shapes. Looking forward to terrorizing work and housemates with nutritious yeast paste
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Jan 12, 2020 19:08
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my bat mitzvah ROCKED posted:Im sorry your dumbass tree bears are on fire STD riddled morons designed to eat nature's cardboard was never going to work. RIP caramello koalas.
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Jan 12, 2020 22:05
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Kharnifex posted:I used to go every year as a kid, poo poo went sour in the 90's. Lucky that's all you got from a dirty shag
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Jan 13, 2020 03:37
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Isaac posted:I personally think jokes in the heading get old far quicker than they get changed No worries there then, Scott can get hosed forever.
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Jan 13, 2020 07:26
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Kharnifex posted:Driver will get a year off paid, with paid counselling Oh poo poo I killed someone oh poo poo what the gently caress. The guy was a major rear end in a top hat. Oh ok no dramas. Also heres a year's wages. Top stuff!
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Jan 13, 2020 15:19
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I would blow Dane Cook posted:Anyone have any experience with pedophile teachers back in the day? Yeah, in the 90's I had a teacher who got caught. He was awaiting trial when he died under what I later realized were suspicious circumstances. The school had connections and for some reason it got nothing more than a short 100 word article on page five of the local paper.
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Jan 14, 2020 01:52
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PancakeTransmission posted:I've had worse - called RACV because my car wouldn't start (faulty immobiliser, known issue and it got fixed under warranty a month later). Dude basically leans in, turns the key and it starts, making me look like a moron. That's an incredibly poo poo immobilizer.
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Jan 14, 2020 17:51
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He didn't actually know this, but he just shrugged and left
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Laserface posted:no, check your owners manual though. newer cars with smart keyfobs will not start if the battery in the fob is low or if its not detectable by the sensors in the car. Black capsicum being..... heroin?
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Jan 15, 2020 03:15
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ili posted:Far as I know there's gently caress all you can do about it. Really pisses me off. Every prick and his dog are doing renos/demos in my area. Early starts and knockoffs are part and parcel of getting tradies in. Not condoning loving with people's livelihoods in anyway. But if they're being dicks about it, lovely companies and crap employers ain't people and job sites are unattended around 2am.
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Jan 15, 2020 05:50
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ili posted:Nah I think they're just discussing the AFL. It's also the sign for swans. So there's a few layers of redundancy there.
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Jan 17, 2020 05:31
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Laserface posted:Finished work for two weeks and tomorrow I'm off to central Canada to live the mountain life, snowboard, buy weed in a shop and eat poutine. Golden or Banff?
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Jan 17, 2020 08:25
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The Kins posted:Leaving Australia to live within driving distance of the United States of America sounds... counterintuitive at best. People don't seem to want to admit it but a lot of dumb bullshit seems to diffuse across the border. Especially work related poo poo, 'yes you should get a good wage and suitable conditions but no I don't think we should have to pay you a a better wage or benefits. Not my fault it's unfair now get back to the coal mine you ungrateful cur.' seems to be a common theme. gently caress I miss Australian working conditions.
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Jan 17, 2020 09:11
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Laserface posted:Staying in nelson, riding at whitewater and maybe a day at red. Noice. Kootenays are getting slammed with powder this week. Almost a meter of snow in my driveway over the last 4 days. Snowblower died and we had to go with an engage 4wd and slam the pedal manouver just to get onto the street. Owns bones.
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Jan 18, 2020 02:19
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Laserface posted:Look for a 70-300 if you're being cheap or go 70-200 if you got a dick made of cash. Either will let you get closer to wildlife/perv on neighbors. Stuck in Vancouver is infinitely better than being stuck in Cranhole. When you pass through it'll be the closest I've been to a goon in a loooong time. What I'm saying is gently caress off mate this is my turf.
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Jan 18, 2020 05:01
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Laserface posted:Looks like I'll be stuck in cranbrook, at least until I figure out if I'm gonna rent a car and drive myself to Nelson or get my friends to come pick me up. In the interest of saving everyone time the former is looking like the best option. Have you driven in snow before? Driving the pass in the dark sounds like a great way to die on icy roads in total darkness. We just got over a cold snap so deer and elk are going to be running around looking for food around dusk/dawn. Honestly I'd consider stay in Cranbrook and leave in the morning.
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Jan 18, 2020 16:06
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Laserface posted:Drove in a blizzard in Hokkaido that shut down then entire road network but thankfully my buddy is coming to pick me up Could probably hitch into town and back in that time. ..
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Jan 18, 2020 21:43
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well why not posted:as in food you feed your bong not kfc popcorn chicken Yes Canada has weed if you know where to look.
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Jan 19, 2020 06:40
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Megabound posted:Went for a hike today and got very lost. Noice hongos. Who's bones are those? Roo, cow or sheep?
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Jan 19, 2020 07:43
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Gross. Rest In Pieces Skippy.
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Jan 19, 2020 08:00
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Lolie posted:It used to be Fat Cat when I lived in Perth. Same. Good night boys and girls. *waves moronically at camera*
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Jan 19, 2020 19:23
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tardwrangler posted:Before Humphrey was Owly Jesus that's a terrifying group of... Children's television mascots? No wonder boomers are so hosed up. An entire generation of lead addled childhood television based PTSD wackjobs.
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Jan 19, 2020 20:18
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naeka posted:i have a vinyl Humphrey record at home somewhere What the gently caress does a mute bear have to sing about?
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Jan 20, 2020 05:36
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hambeet posted:He covered Simon & Garfunkel's Sound of Silence. 
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Jan 20, 2020 06:04
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Tirade posted:A bunch of stores here in Belgium have stopped selling roo meat after some footage of how they are hunted was aired on local tv. The spokesperson for the campaign to ban it said it was especially bad to kill roos now since "we don't know how many are left after the fires". Strap snow blowers to to road trains. Problem solved.
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Jan 20, 2020 19:18
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Malcolm Turnbeug posted:My brother in law lives with me but we’ve established if he ever wakes up before 8 am he might see me doing a morning loo run in nothing but a shirt Does your sister/brother live with you too or did you kick her/him out to bro out with the BIL?
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Jan 21, 2020 04:36
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tardwrangler posted:metamucil is your friend. I had a bunch of dental work done a few years ago and the pain killers had me bound up like crazy. Took me about an hour and a half to crap out what felt like a cinder block. Horror.
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Jan 22, 2020 02:23
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How do you manage to miss 4 sales reps with a shotgun? Smh
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Jan 22, 2020 07:35
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Isaac posted:My friend was sleeping in a shed at a car yard the evening the hail hit and he sent pictures of total destruction in the morning Sleeping in a shed during a hailstorm doesn't sound very restful. Was he really sleeping or staring at the roof with a baleful fury?
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Jan 22, 2020 18:43
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I'm probably one of those nerds wearing a suit and tie for a footy photo.
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Jan 23, 2020 04:31
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You also know it's a hoax because what kind of numbskull would broadcast they found drug money? Just keep it and toss the rest. Or toss yourself off with the dildo I guess.
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Jan 23, 2020 23:12
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Malcolm Turnbeug posted:My lovely plant id app pinged this as lantana montevedisis for 2/3 and the third one looked nothing like the photo so I’m pretty sure I should get down there and deal with it just in case More pics of native plants plz. Dealing with invasive plants and animals is the only time an Aussie is allowed to be a xenophobic shithead so I say kill em all (starting with the roses, affection of imperialist scum each and every one of them).
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Jan 24, 2020 05:41
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Pretty much anything native that comes from a seed won't make a good fire break. What state are you in?
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Jan 24, 2020 06:11
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I was going to come up all clever with a bunch of plant recommendations but I know gently caress all about QLD. Bottlebrush are nice and animals love em? There's also some nice banksias that grown on the ground, might be some that'll live up around your area?
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Jan 24, 2020 06:27
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*generic 'smoke weed' suggestion* Edibles an hour before bed worked for me on the past.
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Jan 24, 2020 16:13
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Zazi posted:"[O]n the facts accepted by the prosecution and the Magistrate, the offending could only be described as minor. The use of a [public] dopethrone to masturbate is
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Jan 25, 2020 04:07
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I only listen jj on Aussie day now. Hottest 100 for 1999 def better than this modern crap. Arh gently caress I'm old take me out behind the shed and shoot me.
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Jan 25, 2020 15:34
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Zazi posted:riding a bike drunk is in fact illegal. Bikes are vehicles, and it's illegal to ride vehicles drunk. If someone else is steering the horse it's okay. Also you could probably train a monkey to steer the horse and now I'm getting an excellent idea.
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Jan 26, 2020 02:12
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Bill Posters posted:Which means that you can also be booked for speeding on a bike. Horse too probably. Speed with horse sounds like a terrible idea but I'm not into the hard stuff. Malcolm Turnbeug posted:I went to the nursery to get some dirt and advice on dealing with this lantana and I came back with a hundred dollars worth of macadamia trees and a kaffir lime tree, as well as all the stuff I’m gonna plant where I’m ripping out the lantana That's awesome, we probably got kilos of macadamias from one tree when I was a little kid. Pity my parents didn't care how great they are and I just ate them because it was fun cracking them open. Are they grafted? I remember ours was so there's probably different varieties or something?
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Jan 26, 2020 07:57
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Jestery posted:Two mozzie coils hanging off a hills hoist Where's ya goonbag? Hoist of fortune.
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Jan 27, 2020 07:21
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tardwrangler posted:years ago someone lopped the nuts off the Rocky bull statue Was the local Parks and Monuments Steering Committee consulted?
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Jan 28, 2020 03:14
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