|
feelin a little empty, little spiritually unfulfilled in our age of ennui. thinkin might gently caress around and construct a caern, might as well go hard as i dont have work tomorrow. gonna hang out in the forest, drop some acid, and fistfight the manifestations my weaknesses cast at me. might cover myself in mud and be reborn a Dryad. pass myself through the musty womb of a Witch Elm in order to cure my gout. Hey, anyone hungry? I'm gonna balance on one foot on a rock in the middle of this still lake and try to spear some fish, you want any? in order for stella to get her groove back she dons the Mari Lwyd and harasses her neighbor for small bier and sweetcakes met a ukranian girl who doesn't speak but instead rearranges a platter of semiprecious stones and in doing so manifests her will upon the universe. attempting to recreate this effect with bottle caps and broken glass in the parking lot of Liquor World, as yet to no avail. the manager believes i am a dadaist busker and occasionally threatens me bodily with The Hose. eating mushrooms i found on cow poo poo, hollerin about the New World Order as I paint dickbutt on a cave wall |
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 05:17
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 6, 2024 14:58 |
|
|
me: (weaves birch sticks into a large portal) my paleolithic ancestors: yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes my wife: hey do we have any butter? me, sighing: fetch me my swim trunks, it's my turn to dredge the bog crimes |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 05:19
|
|
|
coworker: hey you look like poo poo, what the gently caress happened? me, pulling pine pitch out of my hair: hosed a tree coworker: haha yeah i feel that, yardwork's a bitch! me, struggling against the three men holding my arms: you TAKE THAT BACK! crimes |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 05:20
|
|
|
manifesting a raise by stealing by boss's lost hair and nail clippings and binding him to my will
crimes |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 05:21
|
|
|
me, lying nude on a cracked marble altar in the basement of my Pretty Girls European Ballet School: well at least it beats reciting Torah
crimes |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 05:24
|
|
|
there's a Satanic inversion of Debate Club and they hold Black Debate where everything operates opposite to Robert's Rules of Order. no one is exactly sure how this works so it's mostly just awkward one-upsmanship before the orgy starts.
crimes |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 05:25
|
|
|
|
after 20 years my masterpiece is complete *looks in awe at pile of lovely rocks i've assembled*
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 06:43
|
|
|
Yinlock posted:after 20 years my masterpiece is complete *looks in awe at pile of lovely rocks i've assembled* druid ancestors: yes yes yes yes yes crimes |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 07:14
|
|
|
|
PHIZ KALIFA posted:coworker: hey you look like poo poo, what the gently caress happened? lol |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 09:00
|
|
|
Accidentally recreates Stonehenge. |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 10:23
|
|
|
neopaganism is lame, OG paganism is where its at |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 12:25
|
|
|
neopaganism is a bunch of bored middle class people trying to be "spiritual", true paganism means that youre still banging the rune drum like its the 400's, sacrificing rabbits to appease the rocks in your backyard, and being confident in your eventual reunion with your ancestors among the stars |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 12:28
|
|
|
the virgin neopaganism and the pagan chad |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 12:29
|
|
|
neopagan: trees are our friends and the forest is magical. listen to this song i wrote about trees while we chill out actual pagan: trees are ancient beings of terrible and dark powers, and we must appease them 'lest they consume us all |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 12:33
|
|
|
Nosfereefer posted:the virgin neopaganism and the pagan chad virgin asatru vs chad dude living in the forest, naked, eating mushrooms and tearing out an eye to learn the secret of the runes
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 16:22
|
|
|
|
neopagan: I weaved this bigger dreamcatcher so I can have bigger dreams pagan: I weaved pig entrails between two pines as a sort of Net of Flesh to catch goblins
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 16:57
|
|
|
|
me: rolling around in the weedy grass at the park with my dog, huffing the turf for Mycobacterium vaccae, getting covered in goose poops ancestors: yes yes yes just a little more you almost have it! time to get naked larpers: wow. that guy is weird
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 16:58
|
|
Heather Papps posted:virgin asatru vs chad dude living in the forest, naked, eating mushrooms and tearing out an eye to learn the secret of the runes i want to make jokes here too but i've spent too much time living in the forest, naked, eating mushrooms to see what's funny about it it's pretty great. you guys should try it
|
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 17:50
|
|
|
owlhawk911 posted:i want to make jokes here too but i've spent too much time living in the forest, naked, eating mushrooms to see what's funny about it
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 18:25
|
|
|
*splashing nudely beneath a waterfall*
|
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 18:32
|
|
|
carved a dildo out of an aged oak, gonna use it while fantasizing the green man of the woods is loving my poo poo loose
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 18:56
|
|
|
Midsommar, accidentally
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 18:58
|
|
|
spurns other neopagan rituals as inauthentic and modern innovations unaware that own practice is also a 19th century post-Christian reconstruction
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 18:59
|
|
|
reassures self over and over that the Death card is good, actually
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 19:00
|
|
|
Bonaventure posted:spurns other neopagan rituals as inauthentic and modern innovations unaware that own practice is also a 19th century post-Christian reconstruction
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 19:16
|
|
|
makes a wreath crown out of poison ivy
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 20:00
|
|
|
i believe the Universe simply returns to you the positive or negative energy you give to it; clearly Anne Frank was a huge bitch
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 20:24
|
|
|
Bonaventure posted:Midsommar, accidentally crimes |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 21:37
|
|
|
Heather Papps posted:i spent enough time living in the woods to realize that showers rule *chugs wine and cross-dresses* DeathCrabForCutie fucked around with this message at 00:51 on Feb 1, 2020
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 21:58
|
|
|
putting battery powered LED lights around a hammock near a weekend-long outdoor music festival, collecting huge numbers of tripping waifs wearing nylon butterfly wings
crimes |
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 22:03
|
|
|
hey y'all, I think it's time for a Blot!
|
|
#
?
Jan 31, 2020 23:33
|
|
|
*twirling a lock of my hair* sooooo, like, is there a green woman?
crimes |
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2020 04:35
|
|
|
quit my office job, now studying to become a doula
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Feb 3, 2020 15:43
|
|
|
instead of "hello" i say "merry meet" to each member of my polycule
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Feb 3, 2020 15:46
|
|
|
sexually exploited by a warlock who tells me i am expressing the power of the threefold goddess within me
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Feb 3, 2020 15:52
|
|
|
seeks the worship of the Old Gods, finds instead the worship of t̶̨̡̧̧̡̼͔̮͍̮̻̤̜̻̺̮̺̞͓̭̦͍̺̝̣̙̙̬̜̤̙͙̙̟̺͉͌͋̄͒̐̎̓̕͜͝ͅḩ̴̨̧̛̤͓͍̜̜̣̪̰͕͉̙̺̠͍̗̙̫̰͓̼͈̫͎͈͚̻̮̣̪̣̗̝̫̰͇͛̏̅̆̀͊̂͊̀̄̌̏͛̅̈́͂͗̎͒͆͊̇̽̑̎͘͘͠͝ͅͅḝ̶̛̭̰̺͚̹̠̱́̌̌̓̈͑̑̀̓̓̀̑͋̓̾̑̈͌̑̔̊̇̀͘̚̕̚̕͠ ̸̢̖̺̙͙͍̣̜͇̟͂̀͌̀̈͘̚͠͝͝ͅO̸̧̡͎͓̣̠̙̘̫̳͉͚̺̥̞̹̹̤͙̻͇̲͖͚̦͖̻̣̯̞̗̖̹̳̍̌̓̚ļ̶̛̮̯̦̗̓̿̾̒̋͋̽̾̾͐͑̐̍͋́̎͗͂̎͐̃̈͘̚͝͠͝d̵̢̧̨̧̡̢͇̩͕̘̗̼̹̱̳̻͖͓͙̯̹̫̜̭͍̗̤̣̝̝̜̘̼̠̱͙͚̫̣͓̅̆͐͐́͜͜͝ ̶̧̛̛̺̭͇̦̖̩͕̫̝͇̳͔͚͇̻͇͓̩̭̼̟̪͎̱̝̰͇̫͚̹̰̖͓̹̣̟͓͉̩̾́̒̈́̎̽̂̽͑͒͋͑̃̉͂̎͆͛͑̈́̿̃̔̈̓͗͗̚͘͜͜͜͝͝G̸̢̡̡̠̖͈̤̩̤̞͇̺̘̝͈͙̪̬͉̝͎͖̘̭͔̦̞̽̐ͅō̶̖͔̤̬͚̞̜͈͕̦̜̂͌̓̇̃̌̀̽͋̄̓̔͊̉́̈́͐̓̇̓̾͂̚͘͘͜͜͠͝͝͝ď̵̨̢̢̢̨̻͉͈̰̰̩̩̯̝̤̝̼̯͚̮̩͖̰͙̪̜͇̺̞͉͔͕̰̞͔̅ͅș̴̢̡̢̨̨̛̛̛̗̞̼̹̮̘̠̻̰̪̙͕̼̬̝̺̫̳̪̦̞̥̮̮͚̞͓̖̱̭̲̲̜͔͖̥͗͌͗̎̆̆̓͐̍̋̈́̎̽̈̾̆̆͐͆̉͊͌͛̏̃̕͘͜͝͠ͅ
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Feb 3, 2020 15:54
|
|
|
i wanted to join a neo-pagan group, but messed up and now i somehow have to die in battle?? plz advice |
|
#
?
Feb 3, 2020 21:52
|
|
|
bonaventure over here posting exerpts from my extremely self-published autobiography
crimes |
|
#
?
Feb 3, 2020 22:58
|
|
PHIZ KALIFA posted:bonaventure over here posting exerpts from my extremely self-published autobiography 
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Feb 4, 2020 22:09
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 6, 2024 14:58 |
|
|
workshops a tight five standup routine for the coven's annual Follies where every joke begins "you know you're a witch when"
---------------- |
|
|
#
?
Feb 4, 2020 22:14
|
|