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Oh hello, no I can't go out drinking tonight because my urine is going to be tested in my smart toilet tomorrow and if I want to avoid a 200% increase on my premium I have to test clean. Well I have to go now and get 150,000 steps by the end of the day or my coverage is dropped since President Buttigieg allowed insurance companies to insert nanotech into our bloodstreams to monitor all of our vital signs.
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Feb 6, 2020 16:19
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everyone who STILL has two kidneys and is complaining about subpar scavenging opportunities, well I got news for you, buster! You only have yourself to blame!
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Feb 6, 2020 16:25
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Welp, the Mrs and I failed our credit check and the insurance company terminated the pregnancy AGAIN. We were hoping we could get help from her mother this time as a co-signer but she turned 75 this year and was kicked off her insurance for the preexisting condition of old age. Even worse, we're still paying off the bill for the first forced termination. I'm thankful we sprang for the $20,000 deductible. I can't imagine how hard it would be if we didn't have insurance.
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Feb 6, 2020 16:42
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i dont have health insurance
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Feb 6, 2020 16:47
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Adorable! This small child is selling her consciousness in order to fund her mother's chemotherapy!
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Feb 6, 2020 17:01
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If I donate blood every month directly to my boss, I get 5% off my prescription drug costs. Last year he needed a kidney and added $100 to the Health Savings Account of the guy that "donated" it. This is awesome and I'm glad we don't have the terrifying specter of SOCIALISM floating over our heads. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to cough some blood into a napkin because it's better, to me, than going to the doctor right now.
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Feb 6, 2020 17:11
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⚰️
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Feb 6, 2020 17:14
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I got a side-gig sucking dicks behind the Tesla station but my insurance went up when I went over my maximum cock limit so now I basically sucked all those dicks for nothing!
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Feb 6, 2020 17:53
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My e-brain was hacked by Chinese Neo-WOW gold farmers and it's not that bad, honestly.
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Feb 6, 2020 20:08
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Now that I work from home I automatically qualify to being hooked up to Plasmr© the at home plasma donation kiosk! My Plasmr© donations can earn me enough Medsavr© points to afford my 12 different medications so I can just take the two that get me high and sell the rest on drugroad!  And with the added safehealth© app feature I can rest easy knowing that when I keel over an EZhealth© representative will be able to retrieve my corpse before my cat eats it! Sorry Fifi, but this corpse is going to the corpse re-purposing facility! That Bulk funeral reservation with mydiscountfuneral.com won't pay for itself!
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Feb 6, 2020 21:06
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Bernie would have won if not for that brazen 50 state ratfucking. IDGAF if the mods ban me for relitigating the last primary, I missed my interest payment and the hospital is turning off my heart in the next couple days.
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Feb 6, 2020 21:09
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Join my downstream Bloodstream™ network today and get a full percent off your next Shadow Insurance™ payment for every 200 people you sign up to your own downstream Bloodstream™! All that plus the freedom to work from home by providing a benefit to your loved ones! But that's not all I can offer you today! Sign up to pledge a kidney or part of your liver should one of our dear spiritual leaders need it, and receive a full 5% reduction for the next 2 months!
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Feb 6, 2020 21:16
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you guys complain but my hedge fund that securitizes gofundmes has never been better
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Feb 6, 2020 21:18
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i'm dead
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Feb 6, 2020 21:19
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Feb 6, 2020 21:35
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ALFbrot posted:i'm dead same but i monetized every step of the process through subscriber incentives like voting on what chemicals (some medicinal) were injected into my dick veins
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Feb 7, 2020 07:46
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do you think people will have health in 30 years lol
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Feb 7, 2020 08:04
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That was the fifth pill bottle loot box in a row that had nothing but Tylenol, FML
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Feb 7, 2020 08:59
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Speaking of which, big Vegas casinos are putting euthanasia tables in their lobbies for people who try to pay their premiums and don't make it. Probably won't scale to everyone's local gas station pachislot arcade, though
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Feb 7, 2020 09:01
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Feb 7, 2020 10:01
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This RatFace AI misdiagnosed my issue so I ended up losing a leg and had the priviledge of paying for both the original treatment and misdagnosis.
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Feb 7, 2020 10:08
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My pacemaker's rent just went up again. Going to have to borrow against my thumbs (index fingers are down 37% this quarter)
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Feb 7, 2020 10:49
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Feb 7, 2020 10:58
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this is real right i think it ain't but like lmao I can't really tell. i think it's the gold card replacement fee that makes me think it's not
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Feb 7, 2020 11:02
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Animal-Mother posted:My e-brain was hacked by Chinese Neo-WOW gold farmers and it's not that bad, honestly. What?
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Feb 17, 2023 20:44
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it's 2050 and we still driving lithium-ion teslas
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Feb 17, 2023 20:45
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Feb 17, 2023 20:50
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insurance refused to cover my exposure to the black fog because northrop grumman says the black fog isn't hazardous to human health
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Feb 17, 2023 20:52
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My e-brain was hacked by Chinese Neo-WOW gold farmers and it's not that bad, honestly.
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Feb 18, 2023 12:17
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ALFbrot posted:i'm dead
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Feb 18, 2023 16:44
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I love that radiation medicine now costs $6000 per dose, but my work at the getting irradiated factory only pays $800 an hour.
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Feb 18, 2023 16:55
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My nano chip debit card expired and they turned my kidney off what the gently caress
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Feb 18, 2023 18:29
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The drop rates on this cancer treatment are terrible. I even got some extra rolls through my go fund me but the best I could do was a bottle of tylenol pm and a bullet
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Feb 18, 2023 18:36
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Look at this rich gently caress all I got was a brick
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Feb 18, 2023 19:40
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Lying motionless in bed on my day off to try to trick my sleep monitor so that I can make more than the minimum payment to my sleep debt.
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Feb 20, 2023 14:37
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Hope my company's Vice President signs off on my eye replacement surgery!
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Feb 20, 2023 14:43
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Feb 20, 2023 14:44
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Pepe Silvia Browne posted:Hope my company's Vice President signs off on my eye replacement surgery! where we’re going, you won’t need eyes
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Feb 20, 2023 14:44
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just want to remind everybody that while complaining is all well and good, it's actually very important that we all get out and vote for bernie sanders in the 2052 presidential election
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Feb 20, 2023 15:29
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| # ? May 9, 2024 04:37 |
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vyelkin posted:just want to remind everybody that while complaining is all well and good, it's actually very important that we all get out and vote for bernie sanders in the 2052 presidential election oh come the gently caress on dude Bernie is literally a head in a jar controlling a clone body. it isn't ableism to point that out
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Feb 20, 2023 15:50
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