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ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

christmas boots posted:

the farting aliens were worse imo

Somehow I'm pretty sure that one was also Russel T Davies

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Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Facebook Says Post Proposing COVID-19 Infection Parties Doesn’t Violate Its Policies.

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Facing the growing coronavirus threat, Illinois prison officials released at least six moms jailed with their babies.

Freaking Crumbum
Apr 17, 2003

Too fuck to drunk


in the year 2020 Nazis are resurgent across the globe at every level of political power and by early February they're not even the biggest problem

Helsing
Aug 23, 2003

DON'T POST IN THE ELECTION THREAD UNLESS YOU :love::love::love: JOE BIDEN
A British retailer that exclusively sells clothing for people with a medical fetish, kink or roleplay fantasy is donating its merchandise to the National Health Service to help them cope with a growing shortage of masks and surgical scrubs.

Atrocious Joe
Sep 2, 2011

Rhode Island will no longer be stopping New Yorkers at their border.

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006

Atrocious Joe posted:

Rhode Island will no longer be stopping New Yorkers at their border.

Texas, however, is taking this valuable pretext to finally firewall against the Unclean Louisianan.

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006
A company actually and factually named Covidien just defaulted on a contract with the USA to sell 40,000 ventilators because the deal was, to use the language of one spokesperson, "insufficiently profitable." 

Skeleton Ape
Dec 21, 2008



In the midst of a global pandemic the president of the United States is tweeting about how good it has been for his TV ratings.

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006
"I mean, if we hand out too many ventilators, people might prefer it to breating on their own," said Chovanec, who previously worked for GOP leaders on Capitol Hill.

Trumps Baby Hands
Mar 27, 2016

Silent white light filled the world. And the righteous and unrighteous alike were consumed in that holy fire.
We are all going to die

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006
There is such a thing as "society," said Boris Johnson from a bunker.

Atrocious Joe
Sep 2, 2011

Atrocious Joe posted:

Rhode Island will no longer be stopping New Yorkers at their border.

Rhode Island now stopping all out-of-state drivers at the border, no longer singling out just New Yorkers.

Freaking Crumbum
Apr 17, 2003

Too fuck to drunk


over the course of his 3.5 month vanity campaign for the 2020 democratic presidential nomination, mike bloomberg's campaign actually paid social media influencers to execute the same advertising techniques that right-wing media outlets fallaciously accuse george soros of performing

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006
The "shared trough of Congressional jellybeans," made modestly famous in a viral tweet is actually a real thing and they've all actually been eating from it.

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006
At the onset of the largest plague in a century, Pete Buttigieg broke quarantine to harvest social media photos of him buying legos in a Target with the last of his dark money slush fund.

V. Illych L.
Apr 11, 2008

ASK ME ABOUT LUMBER

Australian Dr Daniel Reardon ended up in hospital after inserting magnets in his nostrils while building a necklace that warns you when you touch your face

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Strong enthusiasm for Joe Biden among his supporters is just 24%, the lowest on record for a Democratic presidential candidate.

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Biden was asked by Chuck Todd if there's blood on Trump's hands. He responded: "I think that's a little too harsh."

Pepperoneedy
Apr 27, 2007

Rockin' it



A New York City medical examiner's office spokeswoman noted the refrigerated morgue trucks are not specifically for coronavirus cases.

1982 Subaru Brat
Feb 2, 2007

by Athanatos
Hungary is a dictatorship.

Gum
Mar 9, 2008

oho, a rapist
time to try this puppy out
New York City is offering prisoners at Rikers Island $6 per hour — a fortune by prison labor standards — and personal protective equipment if they agree to help dig mass graves on Hart Island.

Helsing
Aug 23, 2003

DON'T POST IN THE ELECTION THREAD UNLESS YOU :love::love::love: JOE BIDEN
A recent poll found that 88% of Americans are confident the country will survive its current difficulties.

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



U.S. Orders 100,000 Body Bags.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
The price of Wyoming asphalt sour crude oil reached negative nineteen cents per barrel.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Platystemon posted:

The price of Wyoming asphalt sour crude oil reached negative nineteen cents per barrel.

I don't understand. How can that happen?

Ogantai
Apr 21, 2003

Full of bologna

ikanreed posted:

I don't understand. How can that happen?

It's a low-value crude with a high sulfer content, you're not going to be able to get the more valuable, lighter fractions out of it. You might even have to heat it up near its flash point just to get it liquid enough to pump. A negative price means that they're basically paying people to haul it away so they don't have to pay to store it while they go through the (expensive) process of shutting the well-head down. Wyoming being mountainous and landlocked doesn't help either.

Winifred Madgers
Feb 12, 2002

Ten million people filed for unemployment in the last two weeks, because the government made it illegal for them to go to work.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
After having multiple shipments of medical supplies seized by the federal government, Massachusetts’ governor created a backchannel to Chinese ambassador to the UN and had the New England Patriots send a jet to pick up supplies ferry them to Massachusetts hospitals.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
The president of the United States, in a statement about pandemic models that project hundreds of thousands of deaths, said “I was never involved in a model”, adding “at least this kind of a model”.


https://twitter.com/DNCWarRoom/status/1246209083612565506

egon_beeblebrox
Mar 1, 2008

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.



Fox News father-and-son owners Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch are assembling a team of lawyers in preparation for lawsuits against the news network for promoting misinformation about the coronavirus pandemic that could undermine public health.

Freaking Crumbum
Apr 17, 2003

Too fuck to drunk


police officers must come into physical contact to arrest people for failing to social distance. said people are then sent to jail, where they are orders of magnitude more likely to contract covid-19

Atrocious Joe
Sep 2, 2011

A tiger at the Bronx Zoo has tested positive for Covid-19. 6 other tigers and lions at the zoo are also showing symptoms.

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Someone actually released a "butthole cut" of Cats.

V. Illych L.
Apr 11, 2008

ASK ME ABOUT LUMBER

The prime minister is believed to be conscious

Trumps Baby Hands
Mar 27, 2016

Silent white light filled the world. And the righteous and unrighteous alike were consumed in that holy fire.
The most popular meme of the decade so far is African pallbearers dancing with coffins

RealityWarCriminal
Aug 10, 2016

:o:
On Thursday, OCME's site noted decedents who are not claimed by a funeral home within two weeks days would be sent to the Bronx's Hart Island, where a mass graveyard called City Cemetery contains more than 1 million unclaimed bodies — the largest such site in the US.

Orange Devil
Oct 1, 2010

Wullie's reign cannae smother the flames o' equality!
At least 15 million Americans lost their jobs within 3 weeks.

Goon Boots
Feb 2, 2020


2,000 car loads of 36 pound food care packages were prepared at a drive-through pantry in Van Nuys for a giveaway from 9:00 to 12:00. By 8:30 AM, the line of cars stretched longer than a mile.

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Winifred Madgers
Feb 12, 2002

Orange Devil posted:

At least 15 million Americans lost their jobs within 3 weeks.

In the same period, the president's job approval ratings increased significantly.

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