Whataburger

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Fuck You and Dine > Whataburger

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

Whataburger was Texas' hidden gem, a series of small A-shaped temples built to the glory of the fast food burger. It's since spread out to a few of the lesser nearby states. Recently, the whole church was purchased by some mobsters in Chicago or something. Presumably soon more states will have a refuge to run to when someone from California goes on about their burger chain with the horrible spongey fries and overcooked grilled onions.

[Where to Find one?
There are 680 in Texas and smattering of others in the nearby southier states. Just look for a big orange-and-white striped building.

Whata to get?

Just get a number 1, that's what I do. It's great the way it comes. I don't add cheese, I'm just that way but reports are it's good with cheese, in the way things are good with cheese, at least. The special burgs they do occasionally are also super dope and worth trying, especially if it's green chile burger season. I really never had to go further than the burgs, they got other stuff, but I can't even get there, the basic burg is so good.

I know the only reason Whataburger isn't more popular is because of the endemic horribleness/glory of my homestate, since just objectively it is the best possible fast food burger.

# ? Feb 6, 2020 22:23

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# ? May 13, 2024 18:42

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

freakin stuck at work dreamin of whataburg irl imo tbh rn

# ? Feb 6, 2020 22:24

XBenedict: May 23, 2006; YOUR LIPS SAY 0, BUT YOUR EYES SAY 1.

This is me trying to win the lottery so I can build my own private mini-WB with staff so that I don't have to eat with the plebs.

Mine will only make like 5 things. Who the gently caress is eating chicken at WB?

# ? Feb 6, 2020 23:13

WeedlordGoku69: Feb 12, 2015; by Cyrano4747

whataburger chicken is godlike

# ? Feb 6, 2020 23:22

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

Yeah, I'd talk poo poo on they chicken but I've heard enough from people who basically only get their chicken and honey biscuits who loving love it. Maybe someday I'll find out.

# ? Feb 6, 2020 23:47

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Whataburger is a symptom of the disease that is Texas.

# ? Feb 7, 2020 00:34

Chief McHeath: Apr 23, 2002

The chicken fajita burrito is pretty solid!

# ? Feb 7, 2020 02:25

ANUSTART: Jun 26, 2013; ur jiri3-pax(PAD)-ra2 al-tukur2?-re
gu-du-ni an-na-ab-be2
a-ra-/ab-gig-ga\-[(X)]-e-ce

- Wisdom of the ages.

getting flashed working the whataburgee drive thru window , actually not Good

24/7 dining

# ? Feb 7, 2020 05:41

Snazzy Frocks: Mar 31, 2003; Scratchmo

Fuckin love that whataburg

# ? Feb 7, 2020 06:21

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

i accidentally drove home after work instead of whataburger so im still dreamin

# ? Feb 7, 2020 16:30

flyingporcupine: Feb 21, 2010; by Pragmatica

Whataburger is the only reason I'm glad my grandmother moved to Tulsa. Two more months and and it'll be my first stop on the way from the airport.

# ? Feb 7, 2020 21:00

Chief McHeath: Apr 23, 2002

I'm thinkin bout a sweet n spicy bacon burger with extra grilled onions, peppers and even jalepenos for lunch.

# ? Feb 21, 2020 09:02

halokiller: Dec 28, 2008; Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves

Love it

Only place I could get a Patty Melt at 4 in the morning.

# ? Feb 23, 2020 11:38

tweet my meat: Oct 2, 2013; yospos

Those fuckers got rid of the Monterey Melt. They replaced it with the mushroom swiss which is still good, but nothing will replace the greasy puddle in my heart that was the Monterey Melt.

# ? Feb 23, 2020 17:49

Dillon2: Apr 3, 2018

Should've called it the Whatathread, OP

# ? Feb 26, 2020 03:46

Snazzy Frocks: Mar 31, 2003; Scratchmo

Just got myself a buffalo ranch chicken sandwich yesterday and it was LEGIT

# ? Feb 26, 2020 15:46

Dillon2: Apr 3, 2018

Snazzy Frocks posted:

Just got myself a buffalo ranch chicken sandwich yesterday and it was LEGIT

Sometimes they come out lukewarm and it's really flipping disgusting but if you get them when they're pipping hot they are unbeatable

# ? Feb 26, 2020 18:58

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

tweet my meat posted:

Those fuckers got rid of the Monterey Melt. They replaced it with the mushroom swiss which is still good, but nothing will replace the greasy puddle in my heart that was the Monterey Melt.

Dude, I swear to blob I seen the Monterrey melt last week??

# ? Feb 27, 2020 20:41

Gatts: Jan 2, 2001; Goodnight Moon; Nap Ghost

I loved Whattaburger when I was in Texas. It�s good though wish the fries were better. My go to was the double meat with cheese Whattaburger Jr. their fancy ketchup and spicy were good.

# ? Feb 28, 2020 14:52

Bum the Sad: Aug 25, 2002; Hell Gem

Snazzy Frocks posted:

Just got myself a buffalo ranch chicken sandwich yesterday and it was LEGIT

Make sure to sign up for the app, they occasionally pop up with offers. Like right now its buy one buff chick get one free for the next two days. Get ur buff chick now! Also for you buffalo chicken fans I know secrets... So as you know it's a seasonal item and not always on the menu, but one day I was shown the light.

So I was craving a buff chick and it was off the menu for the time being and I tried to order one anyway, awesome employee said:

"sorry its not on the menu anymore..... hold up... we can make one for you, ok we'll order a Honey BBQ Chicken Strip Sandwich... dry(no sauce)... sub toast for bun... add buffalo add ranch! Bam there you go!"

He was my hero. After I got that revelation to avoid being that guy at the window I downloaded the app and just make it in there before I leave my house.

Bun sub not shown.

Usually they give it to me without sauce applied but with a tub of Ranch and a tub of Buffalo in the bag, which is even better so I can apply what I want at home :hellyeah:

# ? Feb 28, 2020 16:36

Dillon2: Apr 3, 2018

Had a double meat and large unsweet tea with large fries, spicy ketchup. The vegetables weren't too moist. I thoroughly enjoyed this dining experience

# ? Mar 1, 2020 21:35

Dillon2: Apr 3, 2018

Dillon2 posted:

Had a double meat and large unsweet tea with large fries, spicy ketchup. The vegetables weren't too moist. I thoroughly enjoyed this dining experience

Update: Everything is bigger in Texas much like my turds after WHataburger!!!!!!!!!

# ? Mar 2, 2020 02:23

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

Whataburger now with the limited time only BBQ Bacon Burger

owns

# ? Apr 23, 2020 06:26

Chief McHeath: Apr 23, 2002

Way too much BBQ on it, stick with the sweet and spicy bacon burg imo

# ? Apr 25, 2020 21:23

oxsnard: Oct 8, 2003

monterey melt for lunch/dinner

sausage egg sandwich on jalapeno cheddar biscuit for breakfast/midnight snack

Whataburger is the best

# ? May 13, 2020 03:08

i say swears online: Mar 4, 2005

#1 with mayo and mustard, on texas toast. onion rings, not fries

also pro-tip, the biscuits and gravy is the same price as a plain biscuit, a plain sausage biscuit, and a side of regular (not sausage) gravy. they have two kinds of gravy!

# ? May 13, 2020 06:58

Rick: Feb 23, 2004; When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

I pretty much stick with the honey bbq chicken strip sandwich but will change over to BBQ ranch, the A1 burger or sweet and spicy burger when they're around. Once in a while I used to order the chicken strip dinner but they always seem to kind of get mad when I ask for it????? So I don't anymore.

I don't like their fries but still order them as a spicy ketchup delivery system.

# ? May 13, 2020 10:07

Chief McHeath: Apr 23, 2002

The sweet and spicy bacon burger is ALWAYS around pardner.

# ? May 13, 2020 19:33

Tenzarin: Jul 24, 2007; .; Taco Defender

one day it will die just like the better a1 thick and hearty was finally slain

# ? May 14, 2020 00:44

texaholic: Sep 16, 2007; Well it's floodin' down in Texas
All of the telephone lines are down

Double meat, double cheese and no tomatoes

# ? May 20, 2020 05:27

Rick: Feb 23, 2004; When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

Chief McHeath posted:

The sweet and spicy bacon burger is ALWAYS around pardner.

If so it's not on the menu here )= . We didn't get the Dr. Pepper shake until this month though so maybe we're just on a different cycle.

# ? May 21, 2020 08:12

Chief McHeath: Apr 23, 2002

It's on the "All Time Favorites" menu and I haven't seen it off-menu in three years living in Whataburger territory :shrug:

# ? May 22, 2020 00:17

Rick: Feb 23, 2004; When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

I will likely go there tomorrow so I wilil check again.

# ? May 22, 2020 04:21

torgo: Aug 13, 2003; Fun Shoe

Look, me and the Whataburger people got this little misunderstanding. They're Whataburger; I'm Whatta-Burger.

# ? May 26, 2020 10:00

Phraggah: Nov 11, 2011; A rocket fuel made of Doritos? Yeah, I could kind of see it.

when is the chili season at water burger

# ? Jun 13, 2020 23:30

Rick: Feb 23, 2004; When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

I solved the mystery of the sweet and spicy burger, that reminds me. It IS a regional thing:

https://stories.whataburger.com/whataburger-makes-magical-update-to-all-time-favorites-menu/

I am in the region that gets the green chile burger instead of sweet and spicy bacon. However, you can order the sweet and spicy bacon online (so I imagine they would probably make it for you if you asked for it in the drive-thru, too).

# ? Jun 14, 2020 10:35

Rick: Feb 23, 2004; When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

The pico de gallo burger is . .. pretty darn good.

# ? Jul 5, 2020 11:13