i could not continue this liveblog in gbs because i was probated by a drat fool for standing up for human rights, so the magic is migrating to byob this thread is dedicated to the krymchaks of crimea, who live on through their children's shitposts  once upon a time, the world exploded   this nuclear holocaust was caused by "five terrorists", whose identities are not divulged two million years passed, and the descendants of the humans that roamed the nuclear wasteland transformed into hideous mutants     but in the non-irradiated areas, the ancestors of mankind awoke and returned to the land: fairies, dwarves, and elves!   
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Feb 17, 2020 10:22
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 09:52 |
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   in the fairy kingdom of montagar, the celebratory feast goes awry when the voluptuous fairy queen delia goes into a trance and flees to a cottage on the hill   the elves gather (elves and fairies seem to be pretty much interchangeable in bakshi's magical realm)   they find that delia has mysteriously given birth to twins. one is a beautiful cherub, the other a hideous fuckwit baby with a bad attitude 
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Feb 17, 2020 10:31
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  the valiant ginger wizard avatar loves his mother and always entertains her with beautiful visions  while his goon rear end brother blackwolf lives in his cave and just never does the right thing. then delia dies of a broken heart enraged, avatar tracks down blackwolf and the two of them do battle   avatar is the more powerful wizard, because he is a good boy and loves his mother, and he kicks blackwolf's sorry rear end!    avatar banishes blackwolf from the fairy kingdom, and blackwolf swears that he will not rest until montagar is under the control of the radioactive mutants 
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Feb 17, 2020 10:39
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Feb 17, 2020 10:49
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  3000 years later, the exiled blackwolf rules the wastes as a magical tyrant. he summons his top henchmen, these guys  and commands them to go forth and kill   fairies are an oppressed class in scortch, forced into interspecies sex work to survive 
fauna fucked around with this message at 11:03 on Feb 17, 2020 ---------------- |
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Feb 17, 2020 11:00
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  this is necron-99, blackwolf's top assassin. his favourite colour is red and his main hobby is elf massacre     
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Feb 17, 2020 11:12
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 there is no end to the carnage   necron-99 is a mysterious figure. he is silent, expressionless, unknowable, yet strangely alluring...    
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Feb 17, 2020 11:31
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  in the deep dank wood, our hero weehawk (actual name) and his comrade are rushing home to report their findings to avatar. i believe they are elves, and they ride these things  as they emerge from the trees, necron-99 is still watching from the hilltop and, oh no  
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Feb 17, 2020 11:45
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 weehawk doesn't even have time to collect his fallen friend's body before the enemy is upon him! prog guitar yowls and i'm on the edge of my seat as the murderer pursues him through the shadowy forests of his forefathers     like most elves, weehawk constantly projects a glamour to make himself more attractive. when he is distracted, like he is now, the glamour momentarily slips  deciding to turn and fight like a hero, weehawk pulls a longbow and quiver from nowhere (i understand this is also an ancient elvish art)  and, oh poo poo 
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Feb 17, 2020 11:59
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necron-99's steed falls down a cliff to its death and he seems pretty cut up about it   now a wounded and dangerous man, out for revenge, he stalks weehawk through the forest. he finds him mourning his own steed, which apparently also died for some reason, i don't know why, maybe over-exertion   necron-99 has a gun, but weehawk draws his sword and charges him! absolute madman!    for the second time in as many minutes they fight their way to the cliff's edge and fall. together they plummet down into a deep, dark and horny sea      
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Feb 17, 2020 12:16
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Woah I'm already deeply invested in this (hi avs!! So happy to see you visiting us, you can post some bird pictures in the chat thread if you want!!)
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Feb 17, 2020 12:38
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Goons Are Great posted:Woah I'm already deeply invested in this now we meet back up with an old friend: the good wizard avatar! he lives in a big boner on the sea, and has the power to summon jukeboxes, for which to back his monologues with mellow jazz    avatar lives with his girlfriend elinore, who is at least three thousand years younger than him and seems challenged in many regards  and this terrifying thing, which is apparently her father  that weird apparition wants to invest in technology to protect the realm from blackwolf. but avatar has seen some serious poo poo and he advocates against a return to the evils of science. as they debate, an unseen intruder approaches 
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Feb 17, 2020 12:47
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  avatar reminisces about the last time he saw his goon brother. after his banishment, blackwolf lurked in the dark land of scortch studying evil magic for many millennia and gained the loyalty of the mutated humans who lived in his caves  none of them were much good strategically, so he summoned the forces of hell to lead them into battle    at this point the narration has switched from avatar back to the lady who narrated the prologue, who sounds both bored and stoned out of her drat mind. it really adds to the atmosphere. she explains how blackwolf's forces attempted to march upon the outer villages of montagor and slay the elves, but the mutants turned out to be lovely troops who got distracted and ran away from confrontation. as we have seen the elves can be pretty intense, so i don't blame them   
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Feb 17, 2020 12:59
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we are then privileged to share this magical moment  THEY'VE KILLED FRITZ THEY'VE KILLED FRITZ  THOSE LOUSY STINKING YELLOW FAIRIES  TAKE THAT  TAKE THAT, YOU GREEN SLIME    ...THEY'VE KILLED FRITZ 
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Feb 17, 2020 13:19
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 at this point the narrator has woken up a little and is more excited about the whole situation. defeated but not destroyed, blackwolf continued to plot. he sent his mutant armies out to dig up ancient ruins from before the nuclear holocaust and bring back fragments of lost technology to his goon lair    goonwolf studied the fragments until he knew how they worked. using his powers, he wielded his newfound mastery of science to recreate ancient weapons of war  but still it wasn't enough to challenge avatar's magic and conquer the kingdom. here the narrator says "this drove blackwolf mad with frustration!"  pictured: blackwolf being driven mad with frustration ---------------- |
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Feb 17, 2020 13:33
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"and then, one day... that frustration vanished." oh poo poo ---------------- |
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Feb 17, 2020 13:38
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James T. Christmas! What happens next!? |
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Feb 17, 2020 13:54
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  avatar knows his brother has discovered some long-lost technology that could help him destroy the fairy kingdom, but he doesn't know what it is. he sent out the elf scouts (that's weehawk and his friend) to gather more information. at this, the masked thing actually begins to give him poo poo for sending out scouts with no justification. it gives him poo poo! i've only known avatar for five minutes and i understand that he's a man not to be given poo poo. he smokes cigars with his toes luckily, necron-99 steps in to deliver justice      if the masked thing has a name, we never learn it. other characters call it "the president". i'm so glad it's dead, and in such an appropriate way! our hero avatar leaps up and just straight up whips necron-99. there is just no contest. he just smashes him. i love avatar      as soon as necron-99 hits the floor, elinore leaps on him screaming in rage and begins to destroy him with her bare hands    stop stop he's already dead ---------------- |
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Feb 17, 2020 13:56
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at that moment, weehawk comes through the door like so he appraises the situation and throws himself on avatar's mercy  and we fade out on this troubling vision while elinore screams like a furious crow 
fauna fucked around with this message at 14:15 on Feb 17, 2020 ---------------- |
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Feb 17, 2020 14:07
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Alright, you convinced me. I just bought this on Amazon Prime and am watching it again for the first time since the 80s some time.
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Feb 17, 2020 14:23
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    back in scortch, necron-99's homeland, the loss of his signal is registered by blackwolf's oddly equipped reptilian henchman. (incidentally, blackwolf's pet bouncing skulls are pretty cute)      necron-99's assassination of the president was apparently a kamikaze mission, so by his death they assume it's complete. blackwolf expounds on how killing the leaders of the free states (by which i think he means fairy country) has made them fall into disorganisation and panic, so they're all just blaming each other and haven't noticed his rise to power blackwolf has also picked up some new decorating tips from his excavation of history  we visit blackwolf's enormous factory of reconstructed ancient war machines  and he declares that the time has come for war    
fauna fucked around with this message at 14:38 on Feb 17, 2020 ---------------- |
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Feb 17, 2020 14:36
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on that note i leave you for the night, this glorious saga of magic and fantasy will resume sometime soon
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Feb 17, 2020 14:40
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i love this
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Feb 17, 2020 14:45
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hell yeah one of my favorites.
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Feb 17, 2020 17:08
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i remember this being quite the trip. but i may have also been on a trip. holy poo poo i dont recall a lot of this! |
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Feb 17, 2020 17:18
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This is great. I saw Wizards at a theater when it was first released. This is a real trip down memory lane. |
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Feb 17, 2020 18:51
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very good thread, looking forward to more!
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Feb 17, 2020 18:59
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Wizards is one of my favorite films of all time, so I love this thread.
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Feb 17, 2020 19:30
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Dash Rendar posted:i remember this being quite the trip. but i may have also been on a trip. holy poo poo i dont recall a lot of this! |
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Feb 17, 2020 20:10
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its an incredibly visually dense film, so slowing it down for posting like this really helps catch all the cool little details.
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Feb 17, 2020 20:14
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I'm a baby boy and this is well before my time but I'm already into it and will have to watch it now to find out what happens next if avs doesn't wake up soon, I'm so excited
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Feb 17, 2020 20:42
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never seen this and it's great so far, thanks for translating this movie into the only medium i understand (forum posts)
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Feb 17, 2020 21:23
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this owns thanks op
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Feb 17, 2020 21:40
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Piso Mojado posted:this owns thanks op
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Feb 17, 2020 22:00
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i dont mean to rain on the ops parade but noted LPer Mega64 has taken up the mantle of the Wizards (1977) thread in GBS and is already outclassing the op in terms of content also im sorry for making fun of you in gbs op, if you hadnt posted with a month old alt and talked about Pick being chain probed i wouldve been less of a douche (probably)(1977)
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Feb 18, 2020 00:16
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the sci fi channel played this during their SCI FI SANTATHON 2000 movie marathon when i was home from school and it blew my loving mind
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Feb 18, 2020 00:16
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free hubcaps posted:i dont mean to rain on the ops parade but noted LPer Mega64 has taken up the mantle of the Wizards (1977) thread in GBS and is already outclassing the op in terms of content huh. thats interesting
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Feb 18, 2020 00:21
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free hubcaps posted:i dont mean to rain on the ops parade but noted LPer Mega64 has taken up the mantle of the Wizards (1977) thread in GBS and is already outclassing the op in terms of content ---------------- |
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Feb 18, 2020 00:46
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op is doing a great job but two things i feel i should high light herefauna posted:and this terrifying thing, which is apparently her father Eleanor's father (the clown) is officially The President of Montagar and should be referred to as such Also notice that the demon patronizing the prostitutes is Winnie the Pooh. dude loves his honies
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Feb 18, 2020 01:04
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 09:52 |
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eleanor and avatar are basically ashley and leon from RE4
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Feb 18, 2020 01:06
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