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 It's that same recurring dream. You know, that one where ingredients fall from a chute in the sky in a symphony of deliciousness, and plaster all over your doughy wet canvas. With glee you slice, shred and throw some tomato, some scampi claws, some halved blackberries oozing juice and a whole chicken drumstick - bone included. You top it with thrashings of buffalo mozarella and a solid golden pyramid of gjetost. It's glorious.  You waddle up to the judging bench, spotlights on you. You can hear the deafening roar of the breathless crowd. The horrified faces of the judges... "Behold… my greatest creation! The Ultimo Pizza™!" You gleefully and proudly announce. You can see the future - the crowds flocking to your pizzeria, demanding the hottest new thing in 'za creation… and you're rich and powerful like nobody could ever imagine! Your Nonna sheds a solitary tear as she nearly smiles at you in approval for the first time in twenty years.  You wake from your glorious vision. This is it. This is the moment you've been waiting for. It's a sign you'd be a fool to ignore! Since you were a child, you had one dream. One goal. You were gonna be the best goddamn pizza restaurateur this city had ever seen. What is your name, and how did you get here? Vote 1: Origins A. [You] grew up poor in the outer western suburbs. But your Nonna taught you how to cook. You start out with a smallish pizzeria in the outer suburbs, and start with a Cooking skill of 1. You'll be the cook! B. [You] grew up poor in the city's south. But you're not anymore. You ran with the local kids, and soon got a reputation for handling revenge personal-style. Your foolish pizza joint adversaries better think twice before trying to compete with you, or they'll soon be burned out of business. You start with a small hole-in-the-wall pizzeria next to a seedy pub, and an Arson skill of 1 C. [You] grew up in a normal family, with normal problems. Mostly that life was dull. You went to business school like your father, but you finally found your calling. You'll manage the hell out of this pizza empire. You start with a pizzeria in the inner suburbs, and a Service skill of 1. You'll be the waiter/waitress! D. [You] grew up in a rich family. Your Nonna always said you'd amount to nothing, and your parents gave up on you too. gently caress Nonna, gently caress 'em all! It wasn't your fault you got caught running hardware cross-state. Those bazookas couldn't sell themselves after all! You start with a restaurant in the trendy part of town and a Mafia skill of 1. You stand proudly inside your pizzeria. Tomorrow is opening day, and you've spruced up the joint with a basic 'za oven, some crappy tables and chairs you picked up for cheap and decor from the two buck shop. You hired staff too, promising them glory and fame with you! You're sitting with them right now, and they're looking at you expectantly. They're waiting for your genius. Your signature dish. The one that'll bring the customers flocking! Vote 2 - what's on your 'za? A. Petrol, tinfoil, pinecones, tyre shreds, pineapple - The (parking) Lot 'za B. Pepperoni, Canadian Bacon, Pineapple, Cheddar, Mozzarella - the Pepperoni Hawaiian C. Spam, Pineapple, Shaved Coconut, Kālua Pork, Rice, Poke, No Cheese, BBQ Sauce - the Super Hawaiian D. BBQ sauce, chicken, red onions, Gorgonzola cheese, and coriander (leaves) - the Holly Spesh E. Cheese, hypodermics filled with methamphetamine - the Ice Ice Ice Ice Ice Ice Baby F. F. Pepperoni, cheese; olive, capsicum, mushroom, pineapple, pepperoni, bacon (two pizzas in one) - the Defiance of Pizza Rules 'Za submissions in any media welcome (Text, Mspaint whatever) Also taking suggestions for the names of yourself, your cook (if its not you) and your first waiter/waitress (if it's not you) busb fucked around with this message at 10:33 on Feb 27, 2020 |
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Feb 27, 2020 02:18
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| # ? May 19, 2024 04:43 |
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D. Johnny "Crimes" Za.
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Feb 27, 2020 02:20
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1- B - Mama Jan 2- Gasoline, tinfoil, pinecones, tire shreds, pineapple
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Feb 27, 2020 02:27
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A; "Peter Pepper at your service! I won't let our customers, or Nonna, down." Ingredients -Pepperoni -Canadian Bacon -Pineapple -Cheddar -Mozzarella "Pepperoni, and Hawaiian.Two great pizzas brought together for a juicy delight that was meant to be."
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Feb 27, 2020 02:30
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D - Johnny "Crimes" Za. 2. The Super Hawaiian Spam Pineapple Shaved Coconut Kālua Pork Rice Poke No Cheese BBQ Sauce May not actually be a Pizza? Doesn't matter, this is a trendy place and this is a trendy pizza. Pizza purists be damned, taste the authenticity.
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Feb 27, 2020 03:20
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1. B 2. BBQ sauce, chicken, red onions, Gorgonzola cheese, and cilantro
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Feb 27, 2020 03:37
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B A If anyone's gonna buy our "100% profit literally just poo poo we found outside" special it's gonna be drunks in the bad part of town
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Feb 27, 2020 03:38
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'Za suggestions added to the OP, as well as names for those that didn't suggest one. A catchy name is half the battle! You may note that there may be regional differences in ingredients. This is because I have a faithful team of culinary translators willing to translate your masterpieces into Strayan. Because that's what we speak in the glorious melting pot city of Sydbourne.
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Feb 27, 2020 03:47
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Ok ok but only use the leaves of the coriander!
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Feb 27, 2020 03:48
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All the fantastic lemony detergent flavour with none of the celery-fresh crunch. A brave idea! One that our
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Feb 27, 2020 03:55
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It’s the soap flavor that brings it all together. You’ll see. you’ll all see...
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Feb 27, 2020 04:00
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Our chef has cooked up a sample of The (parking) Lot 'za. looks pretty cost-efficient! busb fucked around with this message at 05:00 on Feb 27, 2020 |
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Feb 27, 2020 04:53
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Harriet 'Dirty' Deeds B The Ice Pizza!
Artist's impression:  quote:what the gently caress is this? no, when I said 'ice pizza' i meant...fucks sake, get marketing back in here  quote:...close enough true criminal pizza, for true criminals! thatbastardken fucked around with this message at 06:45 on Feb 27, 2020 |
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Feb 27, 2020 06:25
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Some good 'zas my friends. keep em coming and we'll show our customers just what we can do! A. Petrol, tinfoil, pinecones, tyre shreds, pineapple - The (parking) Lot 'za B. Pepperoni, Canadian Bacon, Pineapple, Cheddar, Mozzarella - the Pepperoni Hawaiian C. Spam, Pineapple, Shaved Coconut, Kālua Pork, Rice, Poke, No Cheese, BBQ Sauce - the Super Hawaiian D. BBQ sauce, chicken, red onions, Gorgonzola cheese, and coriander (leaves) - the Holly Spesh E. Cheese, hypodermics filled with methamphetamine - the Ice Ice Ice Ice Ice Ice Baby F. Pepperoni, cheese; olive, capsicum, mushroom, pineapple, pepperoni, bacon (two pizzas in one) - the Defiance of Pizza Rules busb fucked around with this message at 10:06 on Feb 27, 2020 |
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Feb 27, 2020 07:02
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D gently caress Nonna Also my za: It's a pepperoni pizza turned upside down and put on top of a supreme. I call it Defiance of Pizza Rules
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Feb 27, 2020 09:03
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busb posted:Our chef has cooked up a sample of The (parking) Lot 'za. It's beautiful. 
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Feb 27, 2020 12:21
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As far as Zas go, we can't do anything EXCEPT pick the SUPER HAWAIIAN
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Feb 27, 2020 15:58
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A) Renata Ravelli, and our special is the Mediterannean! Parm at the bottom, light marinara, fresh mozzarella, feta, kalamata olives, and sundried tomatoes staggered across the 'za, crust drizzled with olive oil, before baking, and the pizza with tzatziki after baking. Trust me. I'm a cook. EDIT: Should we also be working on our 'zone while we're at it Chef? AnAnonymousIdiot fucked around with this message at 20:19 on Feb 27, 2020 |
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Feb 27, 2020 20:05
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busb posted:
With a lively step you flick your 'za around the shop before slapping it down in front of your two new employees. "Behold ... my masterpiece...the Super Hawaiian!" You make a faint wheezing sound like the cheering of a very distant and probably senile crowd. "We'll take this damned city like a firestorm we will. Or my name isn't Johnny 'Crimes' Za!.  "Uh Boss.." your chef Jenna tries to get your attention in vain.  "The sweet deliciousness of pineapple, the tender pork, fragrant shaved coconut, and the reigning over all! Slap on some raw fish and a dusting of rice to get them fancy types going, and top it off with a squirt of NoBrand BBQ Sauz. Voila! A true genius 'za!" You continue, unabashed. "Uh, looks great Bo..Mr Za. I'd rather not though if that's okay". You look at your waiter, Trent.  "Now pay attention Trent, this is how to talk to customers like a true 'za connoisseur. You turn back to Jenna and pompously say: "Oh well if that's not to your tasting, bella we have a backup house specialty. Do you like true urban cuisine just like your daddy ate in the War! We've got The (parking) Lot for you! For true urban flavours that reminds you of overcoming hardship and victory, go no further. I'll whip one up for you in a jiffy!" You rush around the kitchen, and whip up your parking lot monstrosity, which you had spent several hours preparing for earlier in the day. You sit that in front of them too. "Now eat.. EAT!" You exhort them. You do a bit of cleaning up while they gnaw on your creations, and ignore the pained retching sounds from behind you. When you're done the 'zas are all gone! "Excellent, excellent." You rub your hands together. It's all coming together. NIGHT ONE  Your first evening of service went excellently. You served 'zas! People ate them! People choked up in happiness! It's after close and you methodically go over the Customer Satisfaction Reviews you forced everyone to complete. pre:Super Hawaiian Trendy: 4* Spicy: 1* Sweet: 3* Savoury: 5* Balance: 4* Value: 1* Popularity: 3* pre:The (parking) Lot Trendy: 4.5* Spicy 11* Sweet: 2* Savoury: 1* Balance 0* Value: 10* Popularity 0.5* quote:"The Super Hawaaian was tasty, but not balanced at all" quote:"I ate The (parking) Lot and vomited it up straight after. Very authentic!" quote:"Tried both 'zas, but Uncle Fabio's downtown is more to my palate. Won't be back. Who are these guys anyway?" What's this? Uncle Fabio's?? Someone else is getting in on your 'za empire dreams. This can't stand! Vote 1 We must come up with a fancy, catchy name that truly encapsulates the feeling of wonder at eating your 'zas. That will surely get the kids coming back for more! A. Za'mbeezi Pizza B. Criminal 'Zas C. Legitimate Pizza Business D. Za'mborghini's E. You have 1 Wealth to spend - your last few hundred bucks. You've got some restaurant critics lined up for your second night and can afford to touch up one aspect of your business. Vote 2 A. Clearly your poor 'za reviews are because Jenna can't make them properly! Get a better chef, one that can truly replicate your masterpieces B. Your decor is the problem. What you need is something that really represents the Crimes brand. Maybe some sort of flame motif! Yeah! You redecorate. C. Actually everything is perfect… except that fuckwit Fabio who is ruining it for you with his slick hair and shiteating grin. We'll see who's grinning after you buy some petrol, douse his kitchen and set it on fire! D. Maybe it's not you, its the customers' expectations. Launch a viral ad marketing campaign. "Crimes' 'Zas - Urban. Authentic. Edible*." E. You start inventing something completely new. You'll call it a 'zone! It'll be so different to a 'za and completely new! Nobody in Sydbourne has ever seen something like this before! busb fucked around with this message at 03:33 on Feb 28, 2020 |
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Feb 28, 2020 00:59
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B C
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Feb 28, 2020 01:02
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Vote 1 C. Legitimate Pizza Business Vote 2 C, but... we would never stoop so low as to it being 'arson'. Think of it as a warm greeting to Uncle Fabio's! A Very Warm Greeting! A positively exothermic redecoration of their business that you donated out of the goodwill that you have in your heart.
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Feb 28, 2020 01:05
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Za'mborghini's. We'll make a million off this name, C "They see my pizzas are too spicy, heh, well they'll learn to love the heat when its all they've got!"
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Feb 28, 2020 01:06
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Some very strong 'za restaurant names there, added to the vote. The person to best represent either the Super Hawaiian or reinterpret The (parking) Lot za's will receive a special voting boon.  here is a base i made in advance for you all to put your creations on. Happy 'za-ing! busb fucked around with this message at 02:15 on Feb 28, 2020 |
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Feb 28, 2020 01:23
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this one
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Feb 28, 2020 01:58
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BC - Why invest in the Arson skill and not do Arson? The Super Hawaiian  Imagine the pasta salad is pineapples and the leaf is a thin crust pizza.
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Feb 28, 2020 02:09
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honestly Za'mborghini's is a much better name than the one I thought of so I want to switch my name vote to that
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Feb 28, 2020 02:45
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E. How 'bout we start working on Solozzo's 'zones? Diversify what we bring to the people.
AnAnonymousIdiot fucked around with this message at 05:06 on Feb 28, 2020 |
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Feb 28, 2020 03:31
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C C
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Feb 28, 2020 05:11
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C C 
Reclaimer fucked around with this message at 02:54 on Feb 29, 2020 |
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Feb 29, 2020 02:51
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C A
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Mar 1, 2020 00:06
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busb posted:BURN IT You spend 1 wealth buying your ideal arson equipment. You have only two dreams, one is to make Legitimate Pizza Business the best 'za joint in the drat city. The other is to burn anything down that stands in your way! And that begins with Uncle Fabio's.  It's just past midnight, all the regular 'za patrons have well and truly gone home to sleep/retch up rubber shreds. You're wearing a rather suave black trenchcoat. You know how to arson, and it starts with looking like a teenage moron. They'll never figure out it's you: Johnny 'Criminal' Za! You whistle to yourself as you walk down the alley next to Fabio's. Then you approach the side window and try to smash it: pre:Difficulty: 1 Skill: 0 Target: 75 Roll=68 Smash partially successful.  'What a piece of poo poo 'za restaurant' you think to yourself, as you wander around the place with the delightful glug glug glug of your best friend the petrol can splooshing around the ugly as sin fittings, and his expensive kitchen equipment. Then it's time for the best part! The part where you light it all up! pre:Difficulty 1 Skill 1 Target: 35 Roll= 24 FAIL Reroll for skilled effort Roll=37 Success  The police show up the next morning and ask you some pointed questions about a fire at Uncle Fabio's last night. You smile innocently and say it sounds beautiful, but you had nothing to do with it. Look at the name of your 'za place! Why it's in the name! The cops take down notes and you even notice one of them sniffing at your coat. You bet you smell heavenly. The evening with food critics goes exceptionally well. Although you see most of your The (parking) Lot 'zas completely untouched. They love the Super Hawaiian though!  Legitimate Pizza Business - Month 1 The first month of business you are very popular as you are new and interesting and everyone wants to taste your authentic urban 'zas. Also customers flock to you as there's nowhere else to get their 'za fix!  Popularity 11/11 Income The (parking) lot 'za: 4 The Super Hawaiian: 7 Expenses Staff wages: -2 Rent: -1 Ingredients -6 Profit +2 wealth Staff statistics pre:Manager Johnny 'Criminal' Za Managerial skill 0 - you're an 'ideas man' Arson: 1 - You rarely fail to strike a match. Burglary: 0 - You suck at breaking into places. pre:Chef Jenna Cooking skill: 1 - Your menu can contain 3 different 'zas pre:Waiter Trent Service skill: 1 - He very rarely convinces people to buy more profitable 'zas pre:Restaurant Decor: 0 - peeling wallpaper, dripping walls Kitchen: 1 - Can service 11 units of customers per month Advertising: 0 - word of mouth only After the glorious success of your first month - you made a profit! I mean sure it was aided by the completely accidental fire that destroyed your only competition around. But now is not the time to rest on your laurels! It gives you the opportunity to truly expand your humble 'za offerings. Vote 1 Vote for as many things as you want to spend wealth on. (so consider the number of your votes to be a vote on how much wealth you want to spend). Each option will cost 1 wealth. A. Upgrade your decor! Get some truly urban wallpaper prints to festoon your place of 'za! B. Send Jenna on a 'za cooking course! Her cooking skill will increase to 2 C. Send Trent on a service course. His service skill will increase to 2 D. Go pay a shady looking fellow to teach you how to better break into places. Increase Johnny's burglary to 1 E. Source some fresher ingredients. Will increase your ingredient cost permanently, but improve the quality of your pizzas F. Upgrade your kitchen! Will be able to churn out more pizzas to serve your customers quicker G. Launch a leaflet drop advertising campaign! Get people excited to visit! H. Research and development on coming up with something completely new! You'll call it a 'zone! Reclaimer wins the 'za challenge with his reconceptualisation of The (parking) Lot. You decide to glue paper printouts of the photo to every 'za base of The (parking) Lot 'za, so if they nibble away at the toppings, they will always be reminded it's an Authentic Urban 'za. Reclaimer, you may add a new 'za to the menu. Please come up with a name and your list of ingredients, and we'll get our highly respected Everyone else that isn't Reclaimer: you may now create your conceptualisation of Reclaimer's 'za. The winner will receive Month 2's voter boon. busb fucked around with this message at 02:10 on Mar 3, 2020 |
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Mar 3, 2020 01:32
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AF This legitimate pizza business needs to look Za'tacular
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Mar 3, 2020 01:44
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EH Plan 'zone.
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Mar 3, 2020 01:50
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CG Keep the rubes coming in the door even after our shiny new pizza place smell fades, and get Trent to sell them more Parking Lots
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Mar 3, 2020 01:51
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AD The walls are dripping and we should stick with our specialty.
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Mar 3, 2020 01:56
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BF as in Best Friend as in let's make mo' pizzas my chum! I bring to you, the Leonardo DiCaprese'za: Tomatoes, arugula, olives, and basil with a nice pesto sauce.
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Mar 3, 2020 02:25
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A and D for legitimacy and crimes
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Mar 3, 2020 02:30
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Reclaimer posted:I bring to you, the Leonardo DiCaprese'za: Quite a departure from our first 'za. Who here is brave enough to show us what it looks like?
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Mar 3, 2020 02:32
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No fair that's a real pizza
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Mar 3, 2020 02:44
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| # ? May 19, 2024 04:43 |
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"You know, maybe we need a better chef after all."
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Mar 3, 2020 03:09
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