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new wendys breakfast menu and promo campaign: ONE PERFECT GRAPE no explanations, no justifications. go into wendy's for breakfast and the sole option available is ONE PERFECT GRAPE which costs three dollars. ask the tellers what the hell is going on and they are helpless to explain, they know only that it is ONE PERFECT GRAPE for some reason. ask for the manager. she looks somewhat crazed and disheveled because she is constantly getting demands from customers as to what this is. is this performance art? is it a joke? is it the ultimate capitalist scam, building on the success of the impossible whopper to push veganism for profit? she shrugs helplessly. it's a grape, she says, and I guess it is perfect, whatever that means. perfectly normal. do you want the grape or don't you?
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Feb 28, 2020 21:41
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 07:13 |
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prepuce repurposed posted:one frostyccino and a 5 piece bkfst buff nugg pls *gestures to menu* I am so sorry we are not offering that at the moment. however you do have a choice of any flavor you want, as long as you want grape!
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Feb 28, 2020 22:00
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:Morning, noon, and night, for all meals and snacks, I must consume Dave's beef squares with bacon. I wake up early and wander the streets disheveled, looking for a Wendy's open in the morning. I know it's futile, the reason I normally sleep until noon, but I can think of nothing else to do. My tongue screaming for the salty relief that only Wendy's can provide when, up ahead, what's this? A Wendy's with it's lights on? Is this a mirage? A deranged hallucination leaking from my chuck and pork starved brain? I stumble forward in a daze, my hands reaching forward, clutching at the impossible. I reach the door half expecting to hit either nothing but air or the stuff resistance of a locked door. But no! It opens! I see the sign. It reads "Breakfast Baconator". A weep. I have reached providence. the absolute cruelty of living without ready access to a wendys. those poor souls for whom breakfast is impossible, at least by any reasonable definition. good lord, if they cant even get breakfast what must it be like when it comes to lunch or dinner. what must it be like I plead, tears running dowm my cheeks, what must it be like
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Feb 29, 2020 07:42
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Goons Are Great posted:It feels like the entire marketing team of Wendy's is one brand engagement is legit sinister because it actually works. even if you're making fun of it you're still talking about it. as for me, I only patronize fast food restaurants who don't mess around with brand engagement, such as made you look
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Feb 29, 2020 19:39
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byob project: give us your brand give us full control, no limits, no holds barred. we will engage for you. we'll need a pile of money tho.
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Feb 29, 2020 20:23
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Manifisto posted:byob project: give us your brand our resume? please refer to our prior wendys thread, also the one about smuggling a whole ham (sponsored by hormel?)
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Feb 29, 2020 20:25
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wendys management: well this new pastel color scheme is . . . striking I guess, and redoing all of our menus in comic sans is certainly distinctive. the hammock kittens in the corner are a really good idea, everyone loves kittens. but not everybody likes reggae music I'm sorry to say, especially not the same song played over and over, and some of our patrons feel extremely uncomfortable about being quizzed about hobbies, pets, and crimes when they place an order. it's the "crimes" part that's a problem I think, they assume it's a joke but they're not entirely sure.
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Feb 29, 2020 21:54
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also what the gently caress is a burriot and why are they at the top of every menu
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Feb 29, 2020 22:21
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okay ma'am here's your burriot, and here's your JBAB sticker. yes, I'm afraid you do have to wear it, it's mandatory.
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Feb 29, 2020 22:23
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google THIS posted:Yes, I'll have the, um...(squints at menu)...the Big Dick Daddy Dave's Double + "big fries" + "big ol' drink" lol
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Feb 29, 2020 22:52
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Kief Richards posted:Hometown Smiles, every day, whether you want them or not. That's Wendy's breakfast menu. is that like "minnesota nice" or "bless your heart"? wendys: if you like passive aggressive irony, you'll love it here!
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Feb 29, 2020 23:01
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I'm sorry sir, I realize the prices do not actually add up that way but our cash registers are incapable of displaying numbers that are not in some way funny
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Mar 1, 2020 01:03
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FutonForensic posted:He gazed up at the enormous breakfast menu. Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of great deals were hidden on that screen. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving grilled chicken breast! Two bacon-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. His favorite breakfast was the new Wendy's Breakfast Menu.
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Mar 1, 2020 17:55
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our new breakfast menu has six different sandwich options, each named after a popular political candidate! which will you choose? buy a sandwich to cast your vote! [they are all the same sandwich]
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Mar 1, 2020 17:59
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worried about the coronavirus? come on down to wendys for breakfast and an escape from all your troubles! we're serving up Healthy Hashbrowns™, Sterile Sandwiches™, Uninfected Flapjacks™, Plagueless Poached Eggs™, and more! (our lawyers are glaring at us so we have to add that these names are just a bit of fun and do not constitute medical claims, lol lawyers haha)
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Mar 1, 2020 18:19
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Goons Are Great posted:It's tasty bacon, fried eggs, pancakes, waffles, quality cheese, excellent patties, an extra strong coffee and the best buns you ever had, all in one burger! "don't you forget about me" starts playing in the background
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Mar 2, 2020 20:14
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 07:13 |
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Manifisto posted:"don't you forget about me" starts playing in the background Dear Wendys Patron, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a bunch of hard work and ingenuity for whatever it was you were craving. But we think you’re crazy to make us run an advertisement telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us… In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a baconator… Andrew Clark: …and a cup of steaming hot coffee… Allison Reynolds: …and a biscuit and cheese sandwich… Claire Standish: …a danish… John Bender: …and a refreshing glass of orange juice… Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Wendys Breakfast Club.
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Mar 2, 2020 20:18
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