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spoons - pros: really gets in there, cons: not edible forks - pros: scratches an itch. cons: rectal bleeding. plates - pros: practically Asian cons: dirty dishes hands - pros: gonna wash your hands anyways, saves money cons: ??? dog - pros: feel like a CEO cons: teeth? cat - pros: ??? - cons: teeth, might mistake balls for toys, claws, coarse tongue, probably wants to kill you. vaccum cleaner - pros: deep cleanse cons: electricity bill |
# ? Mar 16, 2020 22:49 |
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# ? May 21, 2024 17:21 |
three seashells - reusable but mysterious an egg - pleasant but ineffective a hungry goat - effective but creepy, v rude to goat garden hose - perfect, no cons
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# ? Mar 16, 2020 23:03 |
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owlhawk911 posted:garden hose - perfect, no cons Hmm, splashback could be a con if not used carefully. |
# ? Mar 17, 2020 00:54 |
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tearing a sleeve off your teeshirt: pros: very cleansing convenient cons: cannot flush two per shirt
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# ? Mar 17, 2020 01:04 |
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Heather Papps posted:tearing a sleeve off your teeshirt: Pros: Sun's out guns out Cons: What if it's cloudy/nighttime? |
# ? Mar 17, 2020 01:08 |
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According to the French monk Francois Rabelais a goose's neck. Pros: there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains. Cons: Geese are notorious jerks and will probably bite you for just being nearby. |
# ? Mar 17, 2020 03:48 |
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aiming a handgun so the bullets graze your rear end pros - sterilization from the heat - improves your combat readiness cons - loud
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# ? Mar 17, 2020 04:24 |
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Corncobs Pro: An American classic. Cons: Rough |
# ? Mar 17, 2020 04:38 |
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Uxzuigal posted:cat - cons: might mistake balls for toys My cat would 100% do that and if electricity bill is your only con there I think you need to consider it a bit more before you get dropsies |
# ? Mar 17, 2020 08:16 |
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bud lite bidet pros: intimate bubbly sensation on your nether regions, improves the taste of bud lite cons: none
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# ? Mar 17, 2020 08:59 |
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shower - pros: two in one cleaning , just waffle stomp those nuggets down the drain cons: wife/showerbuddy might not approve
<3 <3 Vanisher |
# ? Mar 17, 2020 12:15 |
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:According to the French monk Francois Rabelais a goose's neck. nockhole |
# ? Mar 17, 2020 12:50 |
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:nockhole |
# ? Mar 17, 2020 21:23 |
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Your elbow - Pros: hygienic way to avoid the transmission disease. Cons: can't reach. Solution: use someone else's elbow? |
# ? Mar 17, 2020 22:48 |
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Just poop in the yard and wipe your butt in the grass This is what I've always done. Poop inside your house? Gross |
# ? Mar 18, 2020 00:01 |
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Wall Street Journal: Pros: Murdoch paper, Lots of sheets for little money Cons: Transmission risk for capitalism Newsweek: Pros: Wipe your rear end with a dinosaur Cons: Supply not secure Time Magazine: Pros: Well laid out, attractive red border Cons: Mostly coasting on reputation at this point Mad Magazine: Pros: Technically an appreciating asset Cons: Cheap paper New Scientist Pros: Worthy content Cons: Sometimes want to refer to back issues The New Yorker: Pros: Christ what an rear end in a top hat jokes Cons: Articles take longer to read than duration of average visit |
# ? Mar 18, 2020 00:16 |
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A fistful of leaves Pros: Well seasoned by now if you're in the northern hemisphere, making them soft and moisturizing; mold might be good for the gut flora? Cons: Supplies still limited for the next couple months so you need an existing stockpile |
# ? Mar 19, 2020 13:57 |
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run the no-wipe lifestyle pros: you are now a certified wild man, unshackled from the laws of both god and man cons: ?? toilet paper mafia might get upset lmbo |
# ? Mar 19, 2020 14:04 |
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Stay constantly dehydrated Pros: pooping solid deer pellets, no residue to wipe Cons:tipation |
# ? Mar 19, 2020 14:17 |
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time to go back to basics. what did we have before paper and papyrus? that's right, clay tablets. we just need to figure out whose cylinder seal imprints are the most pleasing and effective for the job, I bet the mesopotamians had that fully sorted
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# ? Mar 19, 2020 14:25 |
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slightly insert a mason jar - pro: nothing to wipe as it's all internal. cons: might bleed to death.
<3 <3 Vanisher |
# ? Mar 19, 2020 14:58 |
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Finger Prince posted:Cons:tipation
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# ? Mar 19, 2020 15:19 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2020 19:36 |
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# ? Mar 19, 2020 19:50 |
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Finger Prince posted:Your elbow - |
# ? Mar 19, 2020 20:26 |
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With the right food intake you can just piss from both sides. Shake it off to clean. Be classy and do it in the shower while having a cold beer. Pros: Light fun. Cons: Taylor Swift SweetWillyRollbar posted:According to the French monk Francois Rabelais a goose's neck. Finger Prince posted:Cons:tipation itry fucked around with this message at 21:25 on Mar 19, 2020 |
# ? Mar 19, 2020 21:22 |
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# ? May 21, 2024 17:21 |
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visualize a clean rear end -meditative -sharpen your mind (analytical problem solving) -fun activity |
# ? Mar 21, 2020 02:13 |