|
yeah so look here we got that blue dream, that lemon haze, that og kush and there's a new strain, it's called obama did a benghazi. yeah, its parent strains are obama kush and jack herer. we also have this poo poo, you gotta see this poo poo, it's the new--yeaaaah, it's a heavy body high, real lazy feeling, the only side effect is you can't stop making GBS threads. right? it's called dulcolax. it's an edible. great all body high but my god you can't stop making GBS threads yourself just constantly. worth it though. |
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 17:59
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 16, 2024 11:11 |
|
|
If you decide to go with the ducolax, you won't get the munchies, but you will have a powerful craving for CottonelleTM flushable wipes. |
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 18:08
|
|
|
|
just came in today: "boschian erotic daydream prison" nope, haven't tried it yet myself. that dude over there took a few puffs, you could ask him about it but he's been kinda quiet.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 18:14
|
|
|
if you look real close at this strain under a microscope you can see all the little hairs on it? those are called the penes of the plant, that's what gets you high. the penes.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 18:14
|
|
|
|
ya i planted clem and jonathan here, they will grow into great friends
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 18:16
|
|
|
|
the name of this strain is "I will pay you one million dollars not to smoke me". the one next to it is "I will pay you two million dollars to smoke that other stuff." behind the counter is "haha I don't have any money I'm a fukkin' plant go cry about it"
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 18:25
|
|
|
we crossed bubba kush with bubbleberry and then crossed the resulting child again with bubbleberry and i call it bubblebutt. totally a head wrecker, heavy munchies.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 18:26
|
|
|
|
feeling down? "chicken soup for the bowl" is essentially a jewish grandmother's love in marijuana form
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 18:31
|
|
|
Manifisto posted:feeling down? "chicken soup for the bowl" is essentially a jewish grandmother's love in marijuana form gimme a quarth of that, it's right between an eighth and a quarter
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 18:33
|
|
|
we got a 5 for 15 deal on prerolls, there's dogshit, mama's rotini salad, little old man on the subway half asleep and farting, and purple nurple.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 18:35
|
|
|
|
lessee here, we got "stonk," "tutbutt," "henget," and "frogsiren."
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 18:49
|
|
|
|
"Umm so, I've got anxiety and I'm looking for a strain that will be relaxing but not like super stoned, and not like paranoid? Because this one time I kind of freaked out on some weed I had at a party and it wasn't fun at all and I definitely don't want to do that." Budtender, not paying attention at all, aimlessly swiping at his Weedr app- "yeah totally, I get you, umm so we've actually got this new strain in called super sour diesel mindfuck, it's exactly what you're looking for. It's a cross between a super silver haze and the strongest sour diesel we could find and then we added the word mindfuck because it sounds badass, but also, seriously, this poo poo is a total mindfuck." "umm, ok? Does it have cbd?" "actually it has negative cbd, but that's a good thing with this strain because you definitely don't want that to take the edge off this stuff" |
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 19:50
|
|
|
|
reading leafly reviews in a monotone voice to the customer |
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 19:53
|
|
|
this month's budget strain is apricot ahegao. only 100 for a zip, but it will make you a bit cross-eyed and red in the face 
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 19:56
|
|
|
|
customer on phone: hey dude, what new strains ya got? budtender [pretends to tap on keyboard]: oh yea we got lots of new stuff, there's, uh, three hole punch, manila folder, stress ball . . . paperclip . . . sharpie . . . post-it, pink pearl, thumbtack, bin liner, crumplewad . . . customer: okay okay I get it, can you tell me-- budtender: . . . white out, rubberband, broken scissor, pencil shaving . . . customer: the only thing I need to know is, when d-- budtender: . . . duck sauce, paper napkin, chopstick, antacid, canadian penny . . . customer: *click* budtender [whispering to self]: . . . novelty paperweight, staple refill, dead bug . . . coffee stirrer . . .
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 20:24
|
|
|
whistling a little tune as i tend to the bud, no one else is around, doing a little dance as i move down the rows, the tune is halfway between heavy dub and a nursery rhyme
|
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 21:14
|
|
|
Manifisto posted:customer on phone: hey dude, what new strains ya got? https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 21:27
|
|
|
|
Buttchugging bongwater has powerful healing properties. That's just science. |
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 21:42
|
|
|
|
oh but seriously I posted:Buttchugging bongwater has powerful healing properties. That's just science. But the Bumbudder 69? Now that my friend is work of art. |
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 21:51
|
|
|
|
It's made with real gorilla glue terpenes |
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 22:41
|
|
|
This greenhouse is haunted by a sexy Japanese demon called Tenderoni
---------------- |
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 22:57
|
|
|
Manifisto posted:just came in today: "boschian erotic daydream prison" nope, haven't tried it yet myself. that dude over there took a few puffs, you could ask him about it but he's been kinda quiet. understated, yet terrifying |
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 23:06
|
|
Doctor Dogballs posted:This greenhouse is haunted by a sexy Japanese demon called Tenderoni i'm not japanese
|
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 23:06
|
|
|
|
The cancerine is what gives this strain its terrific lungfeel, but what really sets it apart is its midichlorian count. |
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 23:10
|
|
|
this strain is called Green Crack because the buds look like weird chunks of concrete. shut up, Steve, that's why, I saw it on erowid. |
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 23:10
|
|
|
|
customer 1: i want a strain that will help me relax and chill out budtender: say no more, blue dream will do the trick customer 2: my back hurts and i can't sleep at night budtender: i feeeel for you. lemme get you some blue dream customer 3: i just want cbd. i get drug tested by my job and if i lose it my wife and three kids will starve budtender: hey man, no worries. we have this cbd that looks like weed, smells like weed, but it isn't weed. it's called blue dream customer 4: i'm 12 and want to read about being high budtender: google 'blue dream' and please leave this establishment |
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2020 23:56
|
|
|
|
ah there's the source of the confusion, sir, i said that im a BUTT tender
|
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2020 00:00
|
|
|
customer: i have really terrible anxiety and i want to try something that would be great for that responsible budtender: okay, have you tried microdosing thc with a high cbd percentage and terpenes selected for entourage effect? there's a really good product here, here's a bunch of literature and let's get you some of this to sample. here's how to dose it. customer: i have really terrible anxiety and i want to try something that would be great for that virgin budtender kyle: have you tried timewreck
|
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2020 00:52
|
|
|
Finger Prince posted:The cancerine is what gives this strain its terrific lungfeel, but what really sets it apart is its midichlorian count. |
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2020 01:26
|
|
|
|
u can smoke the stalks too but u gotta sous vide then first
|
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2020 01:37
|
|
|
|
yeah this one is blueberry kush x cilantro. it's specifically for situations where your roomate keeps helping themselves to your stash, and also hates cilantro.
|
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2020 01:40
|
|
|
This one is called Garlic Cookies, it's a real strain but we just rubbed garlic and cookie crumbs on some carrot tops. |
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2020 01:46
|
|
|
Me: Hello and welcome to Gods and Monsters Ltd! Our featured strains today are: Turpenes from the Dank Lagoon, Dankenstein's Monster, and we also have a sale on bottles of Micro-Dosferatu. Customer: Uh, I'll try an 1/8th of Dankenstein. Me: Dankenstein was one of the parent strains. This is Dankenstein's Monster. Customer: Whatever lady just sell me the weed.
|
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2020 04:41
|
|
sig by Prof. Crocodile
BYOB spells: Mutually Assured Kindness|
|
(a customer walks in the door.) Customer: Good Morning. Owner: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Weed Emporium! Customer: Ah thank you my good man. Owner: What can I do for you, Sir? C: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through 'Rogue Herrys' by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all frazzled. O: Frazzled, sir? C: Overburdened. O: Eh? C: 'Ee I were all 'anxious-like! O: Ah, anxious! C: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, 'a little dried cannabis flower will do the trick', so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some dank combustibles! O: Come again? C: I want to buy some weed. O: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the DJ! C: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse! O: Sorry? C: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tune, 'yer forced to! O: So he can go on playing, can he? C: Most certainly! Now then, some weed please, my good man. O: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like? C: Well, eh, how about a little Tangerine Dream. O: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of Tangerine Dream, sir. C: Oh, never mind, how are you on Jack Herer? O: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday. C: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Girl Scout Cookies, if you please. O: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning. C: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Chocolope? O: Sorry, sir. C: OG Kush? O: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down. C: Ah. MK Ultra? O: Sorry. C: AK47? Hindu Kush? O: No. C: Any Cannatonic, per chance? O: No. C: Thai? O: No. C: Sour Diesel? O: No. C: NYC Diesel? O: No. C: Blueberry? O: No. C: Bubblegum? O: (pause) No. C: Lemon Haze? O: No. C: Super Silver Haze? O: No. C: White Widow, White Rhino, Shishkaberry, Trainwreck, Amnesia, Nevill’s Haze, Pink Kush, Pineapple Express, Blue Dream, Maui Wowie? O: No. C: Jean Guy, perhaps? O: Ah! We have Jean Guy, yessir. C: (suprised) You do! Excellent. O: Yessir. It's ah... it's a bit dry. C: Oh, I like it dry. O: Well,.. It's very dry, actually, sir. C: No matter. Fetch hither l'herbe de la Belle Provence! Mmmwah! O: I...think it's a bit drier than you'll like it, sir. C: I don't care how loving dry it is. Hand it over with all speed. O: Oooooooooohhh........! (pause) C: What now? O: The cat's eaten it. C: (pause) Has he? O: She, sir. (pause) C: Wappa? O: No. C: Freezeland? O: No. C: Chemdawg? O: No. C: Strawberry Cough? O: No. C: Alaskan Thunder gently caress? O: No sir. C: You... do have some weed, don't you? O: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a weed shop, sir. We've got- C: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess. O: Fair enough. C: Uuuuuh, Allen Wrench. O: Yes? C: Ah, well, I'll have some of that! O: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Allen Wrench, that's my name. (pause) C: Durban Poison? O: Uh, not as such. C: Uuh, Gelato? O: No C: Plushberry? O: No C: Tangie? O: No C: Kali Mist? O: No C: Dutch Treat? O: No C: Mendocino Purps? O: No C: Mexican Ditch Weed? O: Not -today-, sir, no. (pause) C: Aah, how about Northern Lights? O: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir. C: Not much ca--It's the single most popular strain in the world! O: Not 'round here, sir. C: (slight pause) and what IS the most popular weed 'round hyah? O: Skunk, sir. C: IS it. O: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manusquire. C: Is it. O: It's our number one best seller, sir! C: I see. Uuh... Skunk, eh? O: Right, sir. C: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' He asked, expecting the answer 'no'. O: I'll have a look, sir.. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno. C: It's not much of a weed shop, is it? O: Finest in the district sir! C: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please. O: Well, it's so clean, sir! C: It's certainly uncontaminated by weed. O: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Laughing Buddah, sir. C: Would it be worth it? O: Could be. C: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY DUB REGGAE OFF! O: Told you sir... C: (slowly) Have you got any Laughing Buddah? O: No. C: Figures. Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place....... Tell me: O: Yessir? C: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any weed here at all? O: Yes,sir. C: Really? (pause) O: No. Not really, sir. C: You haven't. O: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time,sir. C: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you. O: Right-0, sir. (The customer takes out a gun and shoots the shopkeeper) C: What a senseless waste of human life. Finger Prince fucked around with this message at 06:47 on Apr 27, 2020 |
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2020 06:43
|
|
|
|
That's was a strange joke with some funny bits and a very dark ending have U ever made the connection between the top of the plant and a blowjob? it's pretty hillsrious |
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2020 07:46
|
|
|
|
tradjik posted:That's was a strange joke with some funny bits and a very dark ending (It's the monty python cheese shop sketch only I changed all the cheese words to weed words) Finger Prince fucked around with this message at 08:24 on Apr 27, 2020 |
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2020 08:18
|
|
|
|
My name is a weeding word. |
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2020 08:20
|
|
|
|
Still suits but for keeping the dank in. |
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2020 08:22
|
|
|
|
Finger Prince posted:(It's the monty python cheese shop sketch only I changed all the cheese words to weed words) I thought I had watched that already, my bad
|
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2020 08:30
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 16, 2024 11:11 |
|
|
|
the weed dealer who is holding my daughter hostage: [over the phone] smoke this if you ever want to see your daughter again
|
|
#
?
Apr 27, 2020 11:35
|
|
