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 CHAPTER 3: The pandemic continues to spread throughout the entire planet, infecting 3,304,139 individuals (officially as of 4/30 23:59 UTC) and likely much more than that (unofficially). COVID-19 / SARS-nCoV-2 or just simply Corona ripped through the American East Coast, spreading from just 193,353 cases in the USA to 1.1+ million in a month's time, more than a 5.5x increase, along with liberating over 64,000 skeleton-Americans -- that's twenty-one 9/11s! -- from their fleshy prisons. I, however, come to preach the good news to the beanless. Our wise leaders have determined that it's time to end the shutdown and send America back to work to further enrich our esteemed billionaires. Finally American scalps will no longer be oppressed by perpetual follicular growth. The peak has passed, and the V-shaped recovery has begun. Number shall soar into the stratosphere, grand and majestic! THE LAND OF THE FREE IS OPEN! Behold the beautiful Golden Land:  There is currently no vaccine, but worldwide there are dozens of teams of medical scientists working on producing one. Even if one of these teams succeed, there will still be a long period between their success and the worldwide manufacture and administration of a safe and effective vaccine. Until then, the best way of dealing with COVID-19 is to avoid catching it in the first place, if possible:
Do not inject yourself with Lysol, drain cleaner, ultraviolet light, or really anything Donald J. Trump suggests for you to inject.
quote:These symptoms may appear 2-14 days after exposure.*
SKULL.GIF has issued a correction as of 04:39 on May 10, 2020 |
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May 1, 2020 01:00
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SKULL.GIF has issued a correction as of 15:49 on May 7, 2020 |
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May 1, 2020 01:00
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Notorious R.I.M. posted:COVID-19 MAY 2020 USA CUM DEATHS GUESSING GAME My best guess is 147,069 American deaths at the close of May 31st, 2020. This is based on strictly eyeballing the graphs, some knowledge of what areas are going to get hit next, and some arithmetic. We went from about 5000 deaths to 64,000 deaths over a span of 30 days, and I expect the death rate to remain steady (as NYC's winding down) but slightly escalate (as the Great Lakes and the Deep South get hammered) over this coming month.
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May 1, 2020 01:07
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By the end of this the American government is going to declare war on China. https://twitter.com/SkyNews/status/1255926382875508751 https://twitter.com/NBCNews/status/1255994554920185856
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May 1, 2020 02:06
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https://twitter.com/Independent/status/1255963644321464331
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May 1, 2020 02:09
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karoshi posted:Please add our friend here: It's already in there though The Alpha Centauri posted:belongs in OP imo It's already in there though
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May 1, 2020 02:11
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Lol at the UK https://twitter.com/SkyNews/status/1255952908656533514 
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May 1, 2020 02:15
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May 1, 2020 04:31
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Toph Bei Fong posted:A friend of mine's grandma just caught this, and the she also has alzheimer's. a goon posted in the previous thread about how their demented gran had corona but was convinced it was just a mild illness while talking all her friends she was seeing again
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May 1, 2020 04:31
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Moxie posted:May is going to be really lovely if this thread is any indication 
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May 1, 2020 04:53
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Sab0921 posted:Live in Houston - here is to hoping heat and humidity inhibit the spread of the virus. didn't work for taiwan, singapore, ecuador, etc. don't count on it. hell comes 4 u
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May 1, 2020 04:53
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ChristsDickWorship posted:as someone who drafts seating diagrams for live events, 6ft between the tables is what there generally is at a wedding where everyone is brushing past each other in the tight aisles. its what fire codes generally require. if they actually enforced 6ft between the people at adjacent tables, and not the table itself, that might actually half the capacity in most rooms. The restaurant where I worked at had a capacity of somewhere around 150. If we had to go up to 6 feet between tables I estimate our capacity would be closer to 50. Maybe 60 if we included the outdoors seatings,  in three weeks we would've opened our summer patio seating, fat chance of that happening. Holy poo poo the last time I've been at work was early March.
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May 1, 2020 16:05
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FYI massive strike today because we're getting loving screwed by the virus-spreading Karens of the world https://twitter.com/LaurenKGurley/status/1255502649513959428 Media will not cover this. They will instead incessantly and obsessively detail every last bit of the chud reopen protests
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May 1, 2020 16:46
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Burn Zone posted:if you haven't gotten the memo yet Forcibly ventilate whoever made this
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May 1, 2020 16:52
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GATES FOUNDATION posted:lollin at the american definition of hero, which is just pure moral posturing, while the PRC makes hero a legal designation and includes economic benefits like giving your kids a break on tuition and bonus points on the college entrance exam why does a communist country charge tuition
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May 1, 2020 17:10
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my mom's boyfriend had to go into the ER tonight because he was showing pre-heart-attack symptoms and his doctor got concerned enough to order testing (the tests came back clear, he's fine) guess they're gonna be in quarantine for the next 2 weeks since that hospital has corona patients I stopped by every 5-6 days to check up on them (I don't go anywhere else except to the grocery, and I self-isolate for 5+ days after each trip to ensure I don't have it) and I guess that routine is now down to "drop off food at the front porch, wave through the window, and leave" up to two more years of this
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May 2, 2020 03:17
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Today was the second highest new # of cases for America. The highest was last Friday.
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May 2, 2020 03:53
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Xaris posted:that's actually kind of the real annoying part of htis, it's been almost 2-months and i've barely gotten drunk/stoned, like maybce twice? i had kind of hoped it'd be a good time just to get daydrunk stoned/high and catchup on a backlog of games and ~prestige~ tv poo poo, but no i haven't really felt like it and work has been mixing up with relaxation time big time and i keep dropping the balll with work poo poo which stresses me out further. also been sleeping and waking up like poo poo. I've been getting day drunk as hell and I'm worried for what this means for once this lifts lol
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May 2, 2020 06:04
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BONGHITZ posted:trimppppppppp keep that garbage to the bad thread
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May 2, 2020 06:05
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Singapore is having a big breakout after stifling the virus the first time around
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May 2, 2020 15:16
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Also it feels weird that we haven't heard barely anything from the southern hemisphere in general
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May 2, 2020 15:17
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Blarghalt posted:I mean Brazil seems determined to gently caress this up even more than us, so there's that. It's like... Peru and Brasil? Like 17k in Chile? And nothing else? India somehow has only half China's cases despite putting in the absolute bare minimum effort instead of what China did, lock down the entire country and aggressive contact tracing. Most African countries are reporting cases in the thousands, with like 1-2 coming to the five digits. AU/NZ are 6700 and 1500 each.
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May 2, 2020 15:26
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GATES FOUNDATION posted:The issue with trying to herd immunity your way out of this by giving it to everyone is that: what effect would bolded have on vaccine development
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May 2, 2020 16:09
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so we're getting 20k to 35k new cases daily and 2000 to 3000 deaths daily this is roughly a 10% kill rate 
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May 2, 2020 17:37
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The Oldest Man posted:The two Karens pictured are leaders of the local antivaxx group and have protested in Congress before over same. Funny how no one mentions that. It's in the article though? quote:At least three people who tried to cross police lines were pulled away and detained. Several other people were pulled from the crowd as well. Among them was Heidi Munoz Gleisner of the group Freedom Angels; Gleisner is a familiar figure at the Capitol for participating in anti-vaccination protests.
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May 2, 2020 18:38
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HugeGrossBurrito posted:it’s going to get so bad in less populated places soon I wonder what the excuse will be then aren't less populated places, by definition, going to have a lower rate of transmission
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May 2, 2020 19:47
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it's cool that all these people are being driven utterly insane by
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May 3, 2020 00:38
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Moxie posted:Reminder that many of the protestors are in fact desperate and it's actually our weakass social safety net that makes any kind of lockdown extremely temporary. Yes many of the protestors would be against socialism as well but 70% of people who support reopening have not lost a job in the shutdown
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May 3, 2020 01:46
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Steve Yun posted:got a link or source? https://twitter.com/jimtankersley/status/1254903864702251008
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May 3, 2020 01:55
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Farm Frenzy posted:man this poo poo is jsut the tea party protests again. completely baffling signs and everything. 2009 is back baby fairly sure that picture is a counterprotest
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May 3, 2020 03:16
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lol at all you morons whining about things opening back up I'm staying the gently caress at home corona's not gonna catch me
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May 3, 2020 05:06
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mastershakeman posted:It absolutely sucks to not be able to see friends/family or even enjoy parks and playgrounds, and it's even harder seeing other people doing exactly that with no consequences I am doing exactly this and I am perfectly okay with it Yall have broken brains
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May 3, 2020 05:37
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Lol
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May 3, 2020 15:42
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Lmao everything that was thinking about opening back up is already thinking about shutting down again We could've been done if we had a proper lockdown in March. All done. Finished! Instead this loving country half-assed it and now we're perpetually in a superposition of not shut down and not open
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May 3, 2020 16:21
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moist turtleneck posted:very disrespectful of this virus to show up when the weather got nice lol just imagine the sheer crying and wailing that would've happened if this virus showed up in, say, early November and we shut down during peak shopping/restaurant season also the sheer amount of moronic hamburger-brained people who would insist on seeing their families anyway for Thanksgiving and Christmas
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May 3, 2020 16:52
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Lawman 0 posted:What we should actually do is make it mandatory to have it grass fed which will legitimately make it better for you, cut down on cow farts and cut consumption. grass-fed is also more efficient land use, there's a lot of land out there that isn't suitable at all for factory crop farming (unless you brute force it which brings a whole load of new problems into the mix) but can support grazing herds no problem.
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May 3, 2020 18:06
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pancake rabbit posted:weird you'd think they would start locking the windows if people are just falling out like that! Assassinating doctors, as you do, during a pandemic
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May 3, 2020 19:50
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GATES FOUNDATION posted:50% operating capacity for beef, pork, and chicken. Only 1.5 million hogs killed last week compared to 2.7 million normally. The cut out (whole animal) price after slaughter for a cow hit $375, up from $293 this week. The last time there was a huge price spike was 2015 when it hit $260. lollllllll hell yeah. yet another change that's happening because of covid that honestly should be a permanent change, like work-from-home and $1200/month
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May 3, 2020 21:38
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https://twitter.com/MichaelDoudna/status/1257049515946725376
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May 3, 2020 22:57
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Notorious R.I.M. posted:My daily tea on the balcony report is that everyone has given up. Austin traffic is up more every day. Mask usage peaked a week ago at like 75% and is way down now. I see more large groups of people walking together now which was basically non-existent in April. the big problem is that we never had a clear-cut date for when this would be Done, because everyone was half-assing it interfering with the projections so it was "When we're done I guess we'll be done" i.e., indefinite and now I'm remembering the giant meltdown itt 2 weeks ago about that term, and when "indefinite" goes long enough people stop caring because there's no end in sight
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May 3, 2020 23:20
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