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This thread is inspired by the uptick in activity in the lepers colony lately and a drop in the quality of entries into its manuscript. I think people could honestly do a lot better considering it’s sort of the unspoken “front page” for the website, a front row seat to see people get owned nonstop every single day. Maybe if we’re lucky someone will end up using one of these or we’ll make someone laugh really hard in their home office. Either way, please enjoy this bounty which we present to you. If we were both rappers our styles would be like Me: Yeah I got a new glock, I’m riding to the cash spot. You: Yeah I got a cum sock, my computer chair makes my rear end hot. [In response to a bad word] Wow…, do you kiss your cousin with that mouth? The Ministry of Silly Walks has found evidence of your moving along your keyboard in such a manner that it types out words that no human should be forced to read. Consider this notice of an offence under section 42 the Tap Dancing On The Computer Like A Nonce Act, which carries with it a small fine which follows this text. |
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May 31, 2020 05:13
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| # ? May 2, 2024 03:47 |
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Yeah, we don't do that here. This is Something Awful Dot Com. We're better than that. We're the good forums. If you're going to act like that, take a hike. Come on, dude. User is probated for 10 minutes
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May 31, 2020 07:43
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Look, if ur gonna be acting like this you'll never get invited to my daily Bake Sale (now 80% off!!) |
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May 31, 2020 12:35
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wow haha look at you go just wow
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May 31, 2020 12:50
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I feel like this is a honeypot thread. Is it a honeypot thread? (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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May 31, 2020 12:53
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If we let you do that then we'd have to let everyone do that! |
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May 31, 2020 14:54
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| Violating your probation. User loses posting privileges for 12 hours. | |
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May 31, 2020 17:58
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Posted probatable content. User loses posting privileges for 6 hours. Be warned, if you post probatable content again, you will be probated again. You don't even wanna know what happens if you post bannable content!
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May 31, 2020 19:21
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Modern sass
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May 31, 2020 19:21
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am not
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May 31, 2020 21:30
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when i first read your post, i was like, "whaaaaaat?" and then i was like, "grrrrrrrrrrrrr" and now here we are. user loses posting privileges for 6 hours |
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May 31, 2020 22:22
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when i saw the bad post, i accidentally clicked the user whose post was immediately below it. i've realized my error, but i'm too lazy to click the back button and punish the actual bad person, so enjoy a six hour break you filthy rando. user loses posting privileges for 6 hours. |
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May 31, 2020 22:26
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ate the red ones first
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May 31, 2020 22:41
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The stench of self-righteous indignation hangs over this post like a pall of smoke over a peat bog fire. The revolution will have to limp along without your armchair expertise for a bit. User loses posting privileges for 12 hours. |
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May 31, 2020 23:49
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Rampers wear pampers. User loses posting privileges for 1 week.
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Jun 1, 2020 06:37
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While I fundamentally agree with you that the inconvenience of being forced to commit full attention to a visual novel in order to read the subtitles doesn't outweigh the benefits of listening to a performance that is much more emotionally consistent to the original text, please do not continue to derail in the IKEA megathread. User loses posting privileges for 6 hours. |
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Jun 1, 2020 08:23
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clammy posted:when i saw the bad post, i accidentally clicked the user whose post was immediately below it. i've realized my error, but i'm too lazy to click the back button and punish the actual bad person, so enjoy a six hour break you filthy rando. user loses posting privileges for 6 hours. Barking Gecko posted:The stench of self-righteous indignation hangs over this post like a pall of smoke over a peat bog fire. The revolution will have to limp along without your armchair expertise for a bit. User loses posting privileges for 12 hours. Lol ---------------- |
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Jun 1, 2020 09:31
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i was dying to probe someone with my new buttons but everyone was behaving so i closed my eyes and poked at my screen and you were the lucky winner. behave yourself next time. user probed for a month
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Jun 1, 2020 20:26
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you shrunk the kids there is no going back so you think a shrink ray could just naturally act in reverse please take this time to spend some time with your tiny kids they will hardly get bigger than that you know let that sink in for a minute
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Jun 1, 2020 20:29
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Probation Reason: For twelve years you've been asking "Who is John Galt?" This is John Galt speaking. I'm the man who's taken away your victims and thus destroyed your world. You've heard it said that this is an age of moral crisis and that Man's sins are destroying the world. But your chief virtue has been sacrifice, and you've demanded more sacrifices at every disaster. You've sacrificed justice to mercy and happiness to duty. So why should you be afraid of the world around you? Your world is only the product of your sacrifices. While you were dragging the men who made your happiness possible to your sacrificial altars, I beat you to it. I reached them first and told them about the game you were playing and where it would take them. I explained the consequences of your 'brother-love' morality, which they had been too innocently generous to understand. You won't find them now, when you need them more than ever. We're on strike against your creed of unearned rewards and unrewarded duties. If you want to know how I made them quit, I told them exactly what I'm telling you tonight. I taught them the morality of Reason -- that it was right to pursue one's own happiness as one's principal goal in life. I don't consider the pleasure of others my goal in life, nor do I consider my pleasure the goal of anyone else's life. I am a trader. I earn what I get in trade for what I produce. I ask for nothing more or nothing less than what I earn. That is justice. I don't force anyone to trade with me; I only trade for mutual benefit. Force is the great evil that has no place in a rational world. One may never force another human to act against his/her judgment. If you deny a man's right to Reason, you must also deny your right to your own judgment. Yet you have allowed your world to be run by means of force, by men who claim that fear and joy are equal incentives, but that fear and force are more practical. You've allowed such men to occupy positions of power in your world by preaching that all men are evil from the moment they're born. When men believe this, they see nothing wrong in acting in any way they please. The name of this absurdity is 'original sin'. That's impossible. That which is outside the possibility of choice is also outside the province of morality. To call sin that which is outside man's choice is a mockery of justice. To say that men are born with a free will but with a tendency toward evil is ridiculous. If the tendency is one of choice, it doesn't come at birth. If it is not a tendency of choice, then man's will is not free. And then there's your 'brother-love' morality. Why is it moral to serve others, but not yourself? If enjoyment is a value, why is it moral when experienced by others, but not by you? Why is it immoral to produce something of value and keep it for yourself, when it is moral for others who haven't earned it to accept it? If it's virtuous to give, isn't it then selfish to take? Your acceptance of the code of selflessness has made you fear the man who has a dollar less than you because it makes you feel that that dollar is rightfully his. You hate the man with a dollar more than you because the dollar he's keeping is rightfully yours. Your code has made it impossible to know when to give and when to grab. You know that you can't give away everything and starve yourself. You've forced yourselves to live with undeserved, irrational guilt. Is it ever proper to help another man? No, if he demands it as his right or as a duty that you owe him. Yes, if it's your own free choice based on your judgment of the value of that person and his struggle. This country wasn't built by men who sought handouts. In its brilliant youth, this country showed the rest of the world what greatness was possible to Man and what happiness is possible on Earth. Then it began apologizing for its greatness and began giving away its wealth, feeling guilty for having produced more than its neighbors. Twelve years ago, I saw what was wrong with the world and where the battle for Life had to be fought. I saw that the enemy was an inverted morality and that my acceptance of that morality was its only power. I was the first of the men who refused to give up the pursuit of his own happiness in order to serve others. To those of you who retain some remnant of dignity and the will to live your lives for yourselves, you have the chance to make the same choice. Examine your values and understand that you must choose one side or the other. Any compromise between good and evil only hurts the good and helps the evil. If you've understood what I've said, stop supporting your destroyers. Don't accept their philosophy. Your destroyers hold you by means of your endurance, your generosity, your innocence, and your love. Don't exhaust yourself to help build the kind of world that you see around you now. In the name of the best within you, don't sacrifice the world to those who will take away your happiness for it. The world will change when you are ready to pronounce this oath: I swear by my Life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for the sake of mine. |
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Jun 1, 2020 20:49
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nut posted:wow haha look at you go just wow |
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Jun 1, 2020 21:04
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Posted a thoughtful, well reasoned response to a personal attack. Probing to preserve proof that unicorns exist. User loses posting privileges for 6 hours. |
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Jun 1, 2020 21:40
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Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:Probation Reason: when all of the people got toxxed for romney after the election, thats what joementum put in our probe reasons ---------------- |
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Jun 1, 2020 21:49
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I do not understand jokes. Sincerely, a moderator.
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Jun 1, 2020 21:49
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cda posted:I do not understand jokes. i think thats one of the requirements slumpy |
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Jun 1, 2020 21:54
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ooooh your post got me so cheezed ohhhh grrrr I cant take it anymore ahhhh grrrrrr this posttttt ahhh
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Jun 1, 2020 22:03
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Don’t sign your posts with “8=D”and tell people it’s a smiley face. Note to other mods: Week one of learning ASCII art knocked out of the park!! Still figuring out if my style is better suited for “w” or “vv”. |
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Jun 1, 2020 22:19
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Barking Gecko posted:Posted a thoughtful, well reasoned response to a personal attack. Probing to preserve proof that unicorns exist. User loses posting privileges for 6 hours.
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Jun 1, 2020 22:52
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I not only suffered 3rd degree burns handling your scorching hot take, but also cut myself on the extreme edge. Ramp. User loses posting privileges for 3 days. |
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Jun 1, 2020 22:58
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Barking Gecko posted:I not only suffered 3rd degree burns handling your scorching hot take, but also cut myself on the extreme edge. Ramp. User loses posting privileges for 3 days. lol
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Jun 1, 2020 23:07
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nut posted:ooooh your post got me so cheezed ohhhh grrrr I cant take it anymore ahhhh grrrrrr this posttttt ahhh
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Jun 1, 2020 23:33
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Requested. Asked for time off to untangle and document Radium's forums code. User loses posting privileges for 100,000 hours. |
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Jun 2, 2020 03:27
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hey, sorry i haven't checked in for awhi-WHOA GLAVEN User loses posting privileges for 999,999 hours |
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Jun 2, 2020 04:38
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You targeted gamers. Gamers. We're a group of people who will sit for hours, days, even weeks on end performing some of the hardest, most mentally demanding tasks. Over, and over, and over all for nothing more than a little digital token saying we did. We'll punish our selfs doing things others would consider torture, because we think it's fun. We'll spend most if not all of our free time min maxing the stats of a fictional character all to draw out a single extra point of damage per second. Many of us have made careers out of doing just these things: slogging through the grind, all day, the same quests over and over, hundreds of times to the point where we know evety little detail such that some have attained such gamer nirvana that they can literally play these games blindfolded. Do these people have any idea how many controllers have been smashed, systems over heated, disks and carts destroyed 8n frustration? All to latter be referred to as bragging rights? These people honestly think this is a battle they can win? They take our media? We're already building a new one without them. They take our devs? Gamers aren't shy about throwing their money else where, or even making the games our selves. They think calling us racist, mysoginistic, rape apologists is going to change us? We've been called worse things by prepubescent 10 year olds with a lovely head set. They picked a fight against a group that's already grown desensitized to their strategies and methods. Who enjoy the battle of attrition they've threatened us with. Who take it as a challange when they tell us we no longer matter. Our obsession with proving we can after being told we can't is so deeply ingrained from years of dealing with big brothers/sisters and friends laughing at how pathetic we used to be that proving you people wrong has become a very real need; a honed reflex. Gamers are competative, hard core, by nature. We love a challange. The worst thing you did in all of this was to challange us. You're not special, you're not original, you're not the first; this is just another boss fight. You are probated for 6 hours. |
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Jun 2, 2020 10:46
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The number of reports I've received regarding this post are more numerous than the stars in the heavens or the even number of grains of sand on all of the world's beaches. After reading your post, I'm truly grateful to everyone who reported it, because it is, in its own way, perfection. The splendid brown earth tones and the incredible fragrance are exceptional, perhaps beyond compare. The shear volume would effortlessly overwhelm the waste treatment plant of even a large city. User loses posting privileges for 30 days. |
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Jun 2, 2020 21:37
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This post would've been funnier if someone else would've wrote it. USER HAS BEEN MOCKED FOR THIS POST |
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Jun 2, 2020 22:07
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