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now that the illustrious STAR WARS (tm) ORIGINAL NONOLOGY has concluded with the epic RISE OF SKYWALKER, aspiring moisture farmers everywhere have wondered, "what's next in our favorite universe of midichlorians and death sticks and lightsabers, which seem like they really should also be called death sticks maybe?" here is the time that WE DECIDE. let's plot out some pitch ideas for the prequel nonology! remember, the galaxy far, far away might be enormous, but who cares about exotic worlds and new characters? we, the fans, want to see shmee skywalker's mother and watto's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather* playing space chess on the millenium falcon while IG-88 does cartwheels in the background. we have nine movies to fill, and billions of dollars of toys to advertise! let's get crackin'! *watto's species only lives about seventy hours, which we will explore in great detail in Episode -I : Blue Wings of Passion |
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Jun 23, 2020 20:28
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| # ? May 8, 2024 11:52 |
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i'd like to see r2-d2's great great great great grandfather the roomba vacuuming my house right now. seriously, the dog hair is out of control maybe that could be your opening scene
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Jun 23, 2020 20:40
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Episode -II: The Wise Retreat: Boss Nass learns a lot about leadership when he rallies his people, the Gungans, to escape to the seas of Naboo when a bunch of staggeringly stupid people elected a literal preteen as queen of the planet. |
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Jun 23, 2020 20:44
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FluffieDuckie posted:i'd like to see r2-d2's great great great great grandfather the roomba vacuuming my house right now. We could definitely work with this! Unfortunately there are no dogs in Star Wars so we'll need to use a Chewbacca or some other Large Space Dog species. Since it's a robot that also cleans it can be the ancestor to both R2-D2 and the broom the force sensitive kid grabs in The Last Jedi!! Everyone is family. |
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Jun 23, 2020 20:50
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i've gotta be honest there's like 11 of these movies and two or three tv shows and it's hard to keep straight - have we covered the backstory of the garbage monster from the death star yet? i'm thinking, get this, it's actually a jedi. |
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Jun 23, 2020 21:25
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Star Wars -VI: The Star Wars General Dweemo is assigned by the Imperial subcommitee for defense expenditure to audit out-of-control expenses for the Death Star, an imperial shuttle replacement. The despairing Colonel Kawa relates the history of the project as the original simple design has armour, turrets and finally a planet destroying laser added to it by a revolving cast of generals passing through the design office on their career path to high command. Dweemo organizes live fire tests that prove that weaknesses in the design exist that destroy a replica exhaust grating that leads to the main reactor but this is papered over. Dweemo then leaks the cover up to the emperor and everyone involved is summoned to the imperial congress and force strangled by the emperor. |
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Jun 23, 2020 23:16
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Due to the success of Episode I’s homage to the chariot race of Ben Hur in the form of pod racing, we are excited to announce a scene where Qui Gon Jinn races through Jabba’s mansion on a small angry creature in a shot-for-shot remake of the Mini Cooper scene from the Italian Job remake |
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Jun 24, 2020 04:05
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Prequel series where it culminates in the audience watching while Count Duku is conceived
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Jun 24, 2020 05:37
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motherfuckin lava robots finally had enough. they stage a bigass revolution. JEDIS WILL NOT JUMP ON OUR HEADS ANYMORE is the rallying cry |
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Jun 24, 2020 06:00
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food court bailiff posted:Episode -II: The Wise Retreat: Do Gungan nobility get a vote for the queen? Like, I am sure this has been covered in the EU. It'd make a bit of a difference. Would turn xenophobic folks into a persecuted minority if the electoral rules are outright racist. |
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Jun 24, 2020 06:14
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Obiwan's ancestor, Obizero Kenobi: Only a Fith lord deals in absolutes! |
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Jun 24, 2020 14:26
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The Firth, Thecon, and Thirth are still shrouded in mystery, perhaps to be explored in a future pre-pre-prequel. We do learn that the Forth was so influential that later generations considered them synonymous with the power they used, thus the phrase "May the Forth be with you." The pronunciation shifted over time. |
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Jun 24, 2020 14:29
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A group of protogungans watch, somewhat impressed, as a small group of stick-wielding apes drive off an army of rock throwing apes. "I do say, dear chaps," one of them remarks, "these lower creatures are demonstrating remarkable intelligence, are they not? Ought we to be worried?" "Oh yes," another chuckles. "I'm sure entire planets will fall before them. And other suitably ironic statements." They all share a hearty laugh. A primitive wooden droid also beeps mirthfully. |
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Jun 24, 2020 15:15
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The origin story of the creature in the trash compactor from episode IV |
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Jun 24, 2020 18:44
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The entire cast will be deceased actors reconstructed via CGI. Aside from that and special effects, the films will otherwise still be live action. |
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Jun 24, 2020 19:50
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I guess amazon skywalker will be even smaller and maybe will ride a jetbike
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Jun 26, 2020 12:50
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three point two five hours of nothing but unsubtitled, unnarrated ewoks, just doing ewok things, shot in a documentary style |
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Jun 26, 2020 17:42
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okay so long time ago, galaxy far far away you get me?!? *sniff sound* so that means we are in the future of the past from the movies and that means if we make a show set right now it's technically in the star wars universe!
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Jun 27, 2020 01:38
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Muppet Babiesesque show, Younglings, just got greenlit. Nothing bad happens to them. Not even Caravan of Courage because it doesn't exist yet in universe. They just have adventures and sing songs and talk to a very responsible jedi, but you only see their legs. |
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Jun 27, 2020 02:50
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anakin is a tiny baby and he eats space baby food
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Jun 27, 2020 02:50
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nut posted:anakin is a tiny baby and he eats space baby food Anakin force pushing away the strained space peas. Force pulling the space banana and space mango space baby food jar. |
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Jun 27, 2020 02:54
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Heather Papps posted:okay so long time ago, galaxy far far away you get me?!? tommy westphall is a star wars character!
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Jun 27, 2020 03:24
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more falafel please posted:tommy westphall is a star wars character! Imperial Technician 3rd Class Tommy Westphall sat at his terminal, the lights flashing colors sequentially in front of him, changing direction and speed (and sometimes colors) on the console in front of him. Suddenly, a red alarm light lit up. Finally! Some action! A quick press of some buttons brought up an image of the trash room. Two men, a woman, and 2 robots- one humanoid, the other looking somewhat rather like a trash receptacle- were tryiong to get out and had jammed up the compactors room-sized crushing walls. Motherfucker... Tommy mashed the compactor's "crush" button again and walked back over to his desk. Even if the bastards managed to figure out how to get out, the dianoga that slithered around down there would get to them before they ever made it out alive. Tommy sat back down at his console and watched the lights go by. |
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Jun 27, 2020 03:42
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| # ? May 8, 2024 11:52 |
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george lucas: bah bah bah no its' all wrong, anakin must be smaller
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Jun 27, 2020 10:32
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