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turn on your monitor
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Jul 16, 2020 07:10
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| # ? May 18, 2024 20:13 |
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Sid Vicious posted:i wonder how the guy who posted his workout regimen over and over in an E/N thread is doing Every now and then an overly enthusiastic "I've been working out!" pops into my head and I start giggling.
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Jul 16, 2020 08:29
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There's a lot of hosed up and weird people, on this comedy forum website, who do not ever post jokes, do not enjoy jokes or indeed even laughing, and have coined a derogatory term for people who make jokes. They're all missionaries drawn here by the allure of the fertile lands of videos of a severely asthmatic man playing Megaman games, and interesting philosophical quandries posted by the fake PTSD guy about the nature of doors and windows in Dungeons and Dragons. They are wise men here to educate a savage, uneducated, indigenous sort. It is a sonorous, musical form of education; a greasy collective amasses on the front line of the battle against social injustice, the video game subforum on a message board that has a drop down menu that makes light of the holocaust on every single page, and sings a shrill harmony that permeates the very aether, making my pets feel unsafe, when a video game muscle man calls Catwoman a bitch. They have picked their battles well, and I note from my foxhole that I am running out of ammunition, chiefly in the form of the increasingly finite number of ways I can frame this absurd situation with the English language. I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the poo poo out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.
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Jul 16, 2020 10:43
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Sid Vicious posted:i wonder how the guy who posted his workout regimen over and over in an E/N thread is doing he has been working out, but his phone keeps eating all his posts
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Jul 16, 2020 12:26
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Your mom sounds cool op
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Jul 16, 2020 13:01
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BRB pooping posted:Your mom sounds cool op Microwave's Mom
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Jul 16, 2020 13:39
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I acquit
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Jul 16, 2020 23:23
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DENTAL PLAN LISA NEEDS BRACES
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Jul 17, 2020 00:57
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The one with the contest
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Jul 17, 2020 01:26
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Carthag Tuek posted:"gently caress the police", said Joy. "ACAB."
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Jul 17, 2020 02:45
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i love a good turn on your monitor or oldxless but thats more of a pyf meme i guess.
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Jul 17, 2020 02:56
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pablo gbscobar posted:There's a lot of hosed up and weird people, on this comedy forum website, who do not ever post jokes, do not enjoy jokes or indeed even laughing, and have coined a derogatory term for people who make jokes. They're all missionaries drawn here by the allure of the fertile lands of videos of a severely asthmatic man playing Megaman games, and interesting philosophical quandries posted by the fake PTSD guy about the nature of doors and windows in Dungeons and Dragons. They are wise men here to educate a savage, uneducated, indigenous sort. It is a sonorous, musical form of education; a greasy collective amasses on the front line of the battle against social injustice, the video game subforum on a message board that has a drop down menu that makes light of the holocaust on every single page, and sings a shrill harmony that permeates the very aether, making my pets feel unsafe, when a video game muscle man calls Catwoman a bitch. They have picked their battles well, and I note from my foxhole that I am running out of ammunition, chiefly in the form of the increasingly finite number of ways I can frame this absurd situation with the English language. I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the poo poo out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me. This post is the Chicxulub crater of Something Awful.
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Jul 17, 2020 03:26
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All of the galts gulch posts.
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Jul 17, 2020 04:09
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cant bust the krust
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Jul 17, 2020 04:20
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spoonce posted:I know I'll probably be attacked for this (video games are for losers, etc. ), but this is exactly how I felt when Aerith died. I honestly didn't know what to do, I was pretty much in a daze.. I would go into battle without any materia equipped, I'd forget to heal my characters after battles, completely neglected my chocobos. I would just go to the Golden Saucer and dick around for hours at a time playing minigames... I just didn't see any point to advancing the story, how could there be a story without her? Well, it took some time, but I got over it (and took my revenge on Sephy [KoTR + Mimic ftw]), and the point is, I'm sure you will too. If there's anything I'd take from this, it's that life goes on even after losing a loved one, it's just up to you how long it takes. Tossed Salad Man posted:Getting PAID to play a GAME? Are you loving kidding me? You give me 500,000 dollars a year, I will lay naked on the pitchers mound and allow boiled potatoes to be fired into my rear end in a top hat with a pitching machine. reflir posted:Teacher: Jimmy? Hello Meow posted:Bjork is sexy in a scary way. Like if you showed her your body, she might touch you and make your genitals disappear and you would never see your balls or Bjork again, but you will always remember the day with nostalgia.
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Jul 17, 2020 04:56
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Zombaby.
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Jul 17, 2020 04:59
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Take off every 'Zig'! Don't own yourself
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Jul 17, 2020 07:08
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That guy who got ripped on joose and found out he tried to buy a piano on eBay after sobering up
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Jul 17, 2020 07:44
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Cowslips Warren posted:Zombaby. I thought about that thread not too long ago and that may honest to god have been the lowest most disgusting thing goons had ever done. At least that I'm aware of.
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Jul 17, 2020 07:57
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Hey all, Matt here. My sobriety date is never. To sum things up I am simply an alcoholic, addict piece of crap. I struggle to feed, dress, and bath myself. I sometimes brush my teeth once a week if that, because I see no point. I am alone. I always have been. I some times free myself from the void via exotic designer drugs. I have been to diffrent dimensions -- I have seen the entitys that inhabit them. I've had dialogues with trees and I know it was real. I began my drug career in 2nd grade when my friend Clem insisted we smoke weed while riding our bikes to school. From there I started doing coke and other hard drugs, Im pretty sure tghat by 10th grade I had alreadt been on the DMT voyage,. I struggle to get out of bed and facing the day ahead of me makes me want to die. Taking the bread out of a bag, puitting meat & lettuce on it, and some condiments like mayo, mustard etc feels like it takes an eternity so I usually find myself starving while I glue myself to my TV, its way to late into the next day already so I go to Taco Bell before it closes. My desk is marely but a surface on which I cut/grind whatever Pills I have available into a snortable powder. All this leads me to this trouble Ive been expereiencing with my network card -- I am unable to find the drivers for it. If any goons could lend some experience, I am all ears. Thanks.
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Jul 17, 2020 12:50
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I don't even know what to put in the ban reason.
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Jul 17, 2020 12:53
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"I'm sure many of you have seen the news on facebook - Lowtax and I have reached an agreement on purchase terms in that I will purchase all Something Awful LLC assets. There is still a bunch of legal paperwork and due diligence to do, so this is not over yet, but I'm on it and will keep everyone posted." --Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Jul 17, 2020 14:03
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punch her in the crouch
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Jul 17, 2020 20:02
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A few more.Unknown posted:My father is a civil engineer. I pass a $2 trillion infrastructure bill with the goal of handing this contracts to my family and friends. It will also result in a massive redistribution to the working class, a sharp drop in unemployment, and put the country in an overwhelming position for future growth and economic dominance due to our now best in the world infrastructure. Butt Frosted Cake posted:I strongly disagree with comic books being counted as only 1/2 points. Comic books are high quality literature. "Unknown' posted:IRL something shorted on the shuttle and Laika overheated and died with a few hours of takeoff and for a brief while one could look up to the stars and see a light shotting across the sky that was actually a warm dog corpse slingshotting about the earth at thousands of miles per hour which was arguable humanity's greatest achievment so far. Edit: One more short one that sums up SA mandatory lesbian posted:
limp_cheese fucked around with this message at 20:54 on Jul 17, 2020 |
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Jul 17, 2020 20:50
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Over time everything gets steadily more expensive and you start not being able to always buy whatever you want, either because it's now out of your price range or because there are actual shortages of things like coffee. Weather gets more severe and less predictable. People you know have their homes and livelihoods destroyed by extreme weather events and have to decide whether to rebuild or start over somewhere new with nothing. If you're unfortunate enough to live somewhere like the desert (lol Phoenix, Arizona) then it will become actually unaffordable to live there at all because you'll spend more on air conditioning than you make in income. Every summer you hear about hundreds of elderly people whose air conditioning broke and they died of heatstroke in their own home. Diseases that haven't been seen in your country for decades or centuries start to reappear, like malaria. Diseases that have never appeared in your country before, like Zika or Dengue, also start to appear. Mosquitoes seem to be the one insect that isn't dying out. Insurance stops covering a lot of climate change-related damage, so as extreme weather events hit other parts of your country and people aren't able to rebuild where they lived, places like southern Florida get abandoned, not from some government plan, but from millions of people individually deciding to pack up and leave one day. The place where you live gets more crowded as internal migrants relocate only to find that life isn't any easier when they show up out of the blue with no job, no money, and no assets to sell. Your wages get cut at work because there are suddenly ten highly trained unemployed professionals who used to do your job in Miami, any of whom would gladly replace you. Your rent goes up even faster than usual because of all the population growth in your city. The news is full of stories of weather destroying other parts of the world like Mozambique and Puerto Rico, and conflicts breaking out in areas hit by drought, famine, and disease. It's also full of stories about migrants trying to come to the developed world. It never mentions that the two things are connected, and never explores the fact that the migrants are moving because they can no longer live in their homes because their fields dried up, it didn't rain for ten years, and the desert swallowed their town. You notice the people around you getting more and more anxious about migration as their own incomes are getting stretched thinner and thinner and there are only ever more and more migrants. Electorates vote in more and more extreme right-wing figures who ban all immigration, militarize the borders, and implement ever-more draconian surveillance and monitoring of people inside the country as well. You're repeatedly told that if you're a natural-born citizen and not breaking any laws, you have nothing to fear. Global supply chains start to break down as some regions of the world get less and less livable and some resources get either more difficult to extract and process, or get wiped out by climate change themselves, making prices rise even more and shortages hit even harder. As places start to see economic decline, people get restless and there are instances of mass unrest. On the news you see stories about mass demonstrations and massacres in random other places around the world. But here people are too busy working five gig economy jobs just to afford bread, they're too busy to protest. Governments get overthrown, countries descend into civil war, millions die in armed conflict, famine, and ensuing disease outbreaks. This further exacerbates the millions of people already trying to migrate to the less-affected developed world, but by this point our borders are so hardened that most of them die before they make it here. Deaths of hundreds or thousands of people trying to cross our borders across oceans and through deserts stop even making the news because they're so routine and we're too concerned with our own daily survival to worry about people we don't know. What you do see on the news are feel-good stories about how a billionaire CEO now flies around in a solar-powered plane and he planted trees on his green roof. Meanwhile our cities are more choked with smog than ever, and the numbers keep getting higher. Fewer people are smoking than ever before, but lung cancer rates seem to be higher than ever. You get a particularly bad cough and you'd like to see a doctor about it, but they cut your benefits at work so you just hope it goes away on its own. The UN releases a report saying that we have three years to act if we want to avoid 8 degrees of warming, but by this point we've read so many reports saying we've already passed the tipping point that no one cares. All our topsoil is vanishing and by this point even some people with jobs literally can't afford food. But the state is militarized enough that no one really thinks about protest except for the occasional spontaneous riot that doesn't accomplish anything long-term. Facial recognition software and ubiquitous surveillance and tracking means protesting is a one-way ticket to prison, if you aren't literally killed or maimed by the police breaking up the protest. And anyway, even attending a legal protest harms your social credit score and means you won't be able to get a loan the next time food prices spike and you can't afford enough to get through the week. Drug abuse, overdoses, and suicide are all rampant as people lose hope and decide to numb themselves or end it quickly rather than die slow, painful deaths. There are people literally starving to death in the streets and every summer you're pretty sure some of the homeless people lying on the sidewalk have died of heatstroke. Half the food you used to see in supermarkets is just plain gone, wiped out by disease or unable to grow where it used to or the supply chains that used to ship it in from halfway around the world have collapsed completely. The other half of the food is so expensive that you can only afford to buy the barest essentials. The wars on TV get worse as countries invade each other to get at the farmland that remains. Despite the police everywhere, law and order seems to be breaking down in your city, there are enormous waves of robberies, burglaries, home invasions, murders, as desperate people do whatever it takes to get through another day. The rich are comfortably secure in gated communities protected by private mercenaries with tanks and machine guns, who regularly use lethal force to defend their employers' property. Eventually you die. If you're lucky it's in some extreme weather event and it's over quickly. If you're unlucky you starve to death because you lost your job and bread is too expensive. I hope you don't have kids because they still have a few more decades in this miserable hellhole, while civilization continues to collapse around them. They probably eventually die deaths even less pleasant than yours. Some humans will survive, even in 15 degrees of warming. Our civilization won't
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Jul 17, 2020 21:44
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fethers
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Jul 17, 2020 22:56
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Colonel Cancer posted:
I wanna know where this came from. I both want, and don't want, to read this thread
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Jul 17, 2020 23:15
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Chewbecca posted:I wanna know where this came from. I both want, and don't want, to read this thread Probably one of the climate threads here in GBS or in cspam 
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Jul 17, 2020 23:26
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The one about horses being really stupid animals that drop dead for no reason
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Jul 17, 2020 23:35
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Chewbecca posted:I wanna know where this came from. I both want, and don't want, to read this thread Colonel Cancer posted:Probably one of the climate threads here in GBS or in cspam Did a search: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=1&threadid=3884239&pagenumber=51&perpage=40#post494860490
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Jul 18, 2020 00:01
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Okay, well I can see this is already going to devolve into another stupid, pedantic slapfight from a combination of goons who thinks it's an epic loving troll to pretend to misunderstand basic human anatomy and goons who have never taken a goddamn cue out of Madonna's book and sought to actually understand their own body. No, of course I'm not saying there's literally no space between the testicles and the rear end in a top hat. Thanks for pointing that out, Sherlock. What there is is maybe a millimeter long bit of flesh partitioning the rectum from the balls. If you think that's a significant bit of real estate worthy of its own designation, than big ups to you I guess. It's part of why diarrhea is bad for you. I get poo poo on my balls when I poop, you idiots. That's what happens to men. Every loving person who's been through so much as middle school knows what dingleberries are, and look here: we've got several adults performatively acting as if they don't know better because this is somehow the way adults on an internet forum behave.
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Jul 18, 2020 03:53
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Strumpie posted:What there is is maybe a millimeter long bit of flesh partitioning the rectum from the balls. If you think that's a significant bit of real estate worthy of its own designation, than big ups to you I guess. Sorry about your birth defect that left you with a millimeter long taint.
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Jul 18, 2020 04:02
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Jul 18, 2020 04:05
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Strumpie posted:~ bollocks here~ What there is is maybe a millimeter long bit of flesh partitioning the rectum from the balls. ~wrong~ Sorry your taint was reaped.
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Jul 18, 2020 04:07
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I don’t remember the exact wording of the post but there was a guy back in the day who convinced another guy to drink his own piss That was a great thread
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Jul 18, 2020 04:18
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My dad likes to orb or something like that.
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Jul 18, 2020 04:47
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How have we missed "WATCH BUSH START A loving WAR". That dude nailed it.
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Jul 18, 2020 04:59
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LuckyCat posted:im gay
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Jul 18, 2020 05:09
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Strumpie posted:'fecal lasagna' I'd nearly forgotten about that thread. That last act was horrifying. I remember he hit his head with a wrench, and "it got infected". There were lots of memorable stories back then. Like the guy who drove a street sweeper.
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Jul 18, 2020 05:12
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| # ? May 18, 2024 20:13 |
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Hay guys...Im looking for a bento box, it cant be pinku (thats japanese for pink) or any girl color. It has to be of 2 or more kotoba (thats japanese for 2 compartments) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really kawaii (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 bux. And you have to post pics of it first (i want to make shure it's kawaii [cute]). And it would be nice if it came with matching chopstick holder (WITH chopsticks). OH! and it CANNOT have any cartoon pictures, or be made out of plastic. It has to be made of ceramic, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a bento box similar to the one im describing in e-bay, but it was 1 kotoba, and i dont want my gohan (rice) to touch my other things (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments looks more kawaii)
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Jul 18, 2020 05:30
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