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Unfortunately in these uncertain times we have to cut costs. Please clear your desk by 5 pm. A member of our security team will escort you off of the premises and will also be laid off shortly after. Please understand that this is the last thing we wanted to happen.
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Jul 17, 2020 01:57
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| # ? May 28, 2024 11:37 |
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Thank god I still have all my friends on the forums to not specifically talk about this with late into the night
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Jul 17, 2020 01:58
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Hey guys! What's going on? I was in the bathroom during the surprise all-hands meeting. Where's everyone going?
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Jul 17, 2020 02:01
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Sourdough Sam posted:Hey guys! What's going on? I was in the bathroom during the surprise all-hands meeting. Where's everyone going? Oh no, my wife's got one of these to go to tomorrow... I wonder what it means!!!
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Jul 17, 2020 02:06
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im bout to jack off 100x
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Jul 17, 2020 02:07
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*Heads home* *finds wife in bed with former, still employed, coworker* *tfw you've never seen your wife in such ecstasy* *they don't even notice* *drives to liquor store* *uses change in cup holder to buy pint of popov and 2 litre of coke* *is 44 cents short but cashier takes pity on you* *sits in the car, drinking vodka, listening to radio* *wonders if penmanship is too bad for a handwritten note* *passes out* *is arrested for dui* *calls wife from jail. Wife doesn't answer* *spends weekend in jail* *has persistent dry cough* *loses sense of smell* *is admitted to hospital in quarantine wing* *nobody allowed to visit* *wife doesn't try anyway* *dies choking on fluid in lungs*
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Jul 17, 2020 02:23
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okay but you're never going to find someone who writes about gay werewolves impregnating each other with the same vigor ever again
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Jul 17, 2020 02:26
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Laid off? Buddy they don't even lay me first
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Jul 17, 2020 02:26
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Getting laid off actually means the opposite of how it sounds in my field as a retard masturbator. And hell - saved me even more of a commute
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Jul 17, 2020 02:43
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Suckt off
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Jul 17, 2020 02:47
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Updating my resumé on the toilet. Big things are in store for me. I should update my portfolio too. Oh wait my last three years of work on the now cancelled project are under NDA in perpetuity.
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Jul 17, 2020 02:49
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drat, there's already a lot of other shitposters on the market right now as well , and not enough places to post
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Jul 17, 2020 03:04
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You guys wanna meet me at Applebee's for happy hour?
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Jul 17, 2020 03:09
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*immolates in center of cul de sac roundabout* *neighbors peer out from behind the curtains*
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Jul 17, 2020 03:54
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neato burrito posted:You guys wanna meet me at Applebee's for happy hour? I prefer Chile's but yes
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Jul 17, 2020 03:55
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Good i didnt want to sell fentanyl anyways
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Jul 17, 2020 03:57
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What do you mean I'm expected to stay on and train my replacement? You can eat poo poo! What's that? Breach of contract suit? *sigh* See you on Monday...
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Jul 17, 2020 03:59
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What am I going to do with my life now?! 
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Jul 17, 2020 04:12
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But my desk is in my own apartment.
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Jul 17, 2020 04:17
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*doesn't believe boss when he says "Wtf this is bullshit!"*
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Jul 17, 2020 04:17
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Time to chase my dream of being a street musician. Where's my mandolin?
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Jul 17, 2020 04:47
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You can just cut back on posters! You will regret this!
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Jul 17, 2020 04:54
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I'm the best dick sucker this dick sucking factory has ever seen!! By the way, I was laid off from my job today and can be here extra early tomorrow.
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Jul 17, 2020 04:55
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Yes, it's all going according plan. You will see! The plan is to play video games all day and lose my house mwahahaha!
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Jul 17, 2020 06:12
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gently caress you you cant fire me i quit. good luck untangling the code i wrote jack asses. * tries to kick over trash can but trips.*
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Jul 17, 2020 06:16
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Lose your house? Lmao imagine owning a house to begin with
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Jul 17, 2020 06:16
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Oh well, atleast i still have 3 months on my notice period I'm guaranteed to get paid for. Time to file all my paperwork to the union unemployment fund so that I can get that 400 days previous income adjusted dole. For all i know this could be a good moment for me to pursue my master's degree, on that dole, for free.
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Jul 17, 2020 06:19
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Joke's on you boss man I've been coming into work shitfaced for the last year.
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Jul 17, 2020 06:31
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You can't just automate the blowjob factory!
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Jul 17, 2020 06:35
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"I have read and understood this document." 'Do you have any questions?' "None at this time." '...your manager will now escort you off the premises.' Not even said in person, done over the phone. Because the business was still open well after COVID was flourishing.
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Jul 17, 2020 06:45
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Turns out I can keep my job animating the talking cat voiced by Zendaya if I move to Canada where the studio has set up a vfx house for the sole purpose of cheating the country's tax benefits.
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Jul 17, 2020 06:57
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no prob plenty of fluids i can sell. im practically filled with the stuff.
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Jul 17, 2020 07:20
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DickParasite posted:*Heads home* It gets better.
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Jul 17, 2020 07:28
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gently caress yeah, just got laid off
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Jul 17, 2020 08:48
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standing here in the funemployment line, all my dreams are finally realised
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Jul 17, 2020 08:50
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Since my day can't get any worse, I might as well ask out Jane in accounting. Its not like I'd be dating a coworker will be an issue anymore. I already have to go see her anyway to collect my last paycheck. Yeah, I'll do it. This might just be a good day after all! Narrator: It was not going to be a good day after all.
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Jul 17, 2020 09:02
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Time to kick back with three months pay and a fat bonus! I've been waiting for this day for so long!
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Jul 17, 2020 09:59
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Colonel Cancer posted:You can't just automate the blowjob factory! Narrator: Well, it turns out they can, and did!
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Jul 17, 2020 16:20
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DickParasite posted:*Heads home* *puts another quarter in* continue
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Jul 17, 2020 16:21
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| # ? May 28, 2024 11:37 |
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gently caress.
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Jul 17, 2020 16:27
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