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A wiry figure draped in a heavy and maybe itchy blue robes shambles forwards, thumping a gnarled staff picked up near a rotted tree. He spies a small group of adventurers and furrows his brows, raising his arms and staff in revulsion "I do not tolerate any unwanted visitors here! You shall now feel the wrath of my magics!" He chants in a forbidden tongue for several minutes, and suddenly a large cloud of thudding shoes materialize and spin and swirl madly like a cloud of rocks and sediment swirling on a recently disturbed riverbed. This is Shoe Swarm, one of the deadliest spells of all shoe sorcery. And they're careening directly towards the unwanted interlopers on the wizard's grounds. |
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Jul 21, 2020 15:10
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| # ? May 12, 2024 17:02 |
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Velcromancy 
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Jul 21, 2020 15:49
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See if I was that wizard I would have just made their shoes dreadfully uncomfortable.
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Jul 21, 2020 16:13
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Suddenly, the entire advancing army was wearing... high-heeled stilettos??? "Let's see you walk in THOSE!" the Podiomancer said, proud of his work. Even now the men tottered and stumbled in their heavy armor. It would be an easy victory for the advancing spearmen Pot Smoke Phoenix fucked around with this message at 17:16 on Jul 21, 2020 |
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Jul 21, 2020 16:56
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"Prepare to meet your demise at the hands of The Loafer!" |
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Jul 21, 2020 17:15
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"Ha ha, you fool! You seek to challenge me? I shall have your very sole!" (pause) "Now I shall have your other very sole!" |
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Jul 21, 2020 17:19
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I run my hand along my scabbard. Yes, I think, I am ready for this duel. For sound of heart and mind I am! For my enemy be a blaggard and a coward! I have won victoriously, fifty duels alike. I shall unseam him, from top to toe, leaving only his wig intact! I steel myself as the bastard stands before me. Unsheathing our swords, we both approach another in the room circling each other, our squires nervously looking on from either side of the room. I can taste the blood already. His heart is mine for the taking, my blade yearns for revenge, and for blood. Before I can take another step, my dastardly opponent glances at my feet, and doubles down laughing, clutching his ribs as he falls to the floor. I gaze down in horror, utterly ashamed, feeling a red heat grow upon my cheeks, as I find I am wearing socks and sandals. That accursed steward! He took advantage of my morning prayer, and used the opportunity and his dark magicks to swap my plated leggings with these horrific monstrosities. I sheath my sword, as my foe's laugh rings out in the room, and walk to the entrance, my squire in tow, to our horses, ashamed and afraid for my kingdom. We did not fight this duel, which means many a man's life will be lost tomorrow in battle. |
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Jul 21, 2020 18:24
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FutonForensic posted:Velcromancy  the forbidden lore of Reebok the mad!?
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Jul 21, 2020 20:12
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if you didnt know christian louboutin is this world's foremost practitioner of dark magick idfk what to yell you but good luck in the revolution
a凸[◣_◢]凸 unban Anne fraje fanfic a凸[◣_◢]凸 Summer FYA D 2022 a凸[◣_◢]凸 good bird byw hot cocoa on the couch |
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Jul 21, 2020 20:41
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prince knew
a凸[◣_◢]凸 unban Anne fraje fanfic a凸[◣_◢]凸 Summer FYA D 2022 a凸[◣_◢]凸 good bird byw hot cocoa on the couch |
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Jul 21, 2020 20:41
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Wizard boot camp:
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 21, 2020 23:38
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FutonForensic posted:Velcromancy 
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Jul 21, 2020 23:43
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*shoecery |
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Jul 22, 2020 00:22
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Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:Wizard boot camp:
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Jul 22, 2020 00:38
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Me: (trying on a pair of shoes I ordered off Amazon) What the hell? How are these a size 11? Nearby wizard: 
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Jul 22, 2020 02:12
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Bill Cosby sweater and reebok pumps I wear Bill Cosby sweater and reebok pumps I wear Bill Cosby sweater and reebok pumps Cuz I still don't know how to Wingardium Leviosa my dunks |
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Jul 22, 2020 03:10
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Thunder Moose posted:
passed down by Nike the Unholy?! |
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Jul 22, 2020 05:00
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My.. A... DIDAS! Enchanted for finding magic doors And help me float over traps in floors A wizard I paid all wise and sage Read off some spells from his spell book page Magical words he did speak Said they were sneakers but I wasn't a sneak My Adidas are grand I would understand With thieve's tools in hand all across the land My Adidas magically made me a drat good thief We make a good team my Adidas and me We get around together, not even tryin' to be clever Unlockin' windows and safes whenever, wherever My Adidas My Adidas My Adidas Hiding in shadows on a city street Enchants are fresh and yes cold on my feet With some mithril in em, I did not win em I paid a wizard with gold and a dragon's gizzard I like to use em but not abuse em I'm glad to have em A thief tried to steal em so I grabbed and back stabbed em Hide in shadows down the street is the way I sneak Leather armor on my legs and Adidas on my feet With a click! I just picked another lock in which where My party and I can clean out this monster's lair My Adidas My Adidas Now Me and my Adidas do the illest things We like to break into homes with diamond rings Sneak around a bit but not stay late And if we get away with loot then that's just great We travel on gravel, or off-beaten path I wear my Adidas when I need to run away fast I feel naked when I don't take them everywhere that I go It's Adidas on my feet high top or low My Adidas My Adidas Now the Adidas I possess is better than rare To say they're Legendary would be more than fair Adidas on my feet cause I like to chill They got a bonus to constitution to make it hard to get ill This pair that I wear when lets me levitate To fly up onto a roof or over someone's gate My Adidas only bring to me good loot Because they are used as thieving shoes They're comfy and nice and go with whatever The wizard said they were dragon leather Enchanted with spells and other wizardry A special shout out to the wizard who did my shoes for me My Adidas help me sneak when things otherwise look bleak 'Cause I fudged and misjudged and am on a losing streak We ran and got real far, landed in a bar, And I won't trade my Adidas for some other magic My Adidas |
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Jul 22, 2020 05:41
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the shoeromancers are extra reclusive because the foot fetishists bug them relentlessly |
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Jul 22, 2020 05:59
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For a brief time, I was really into the world of shoe wizardry, but it didn't last. |
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Jul 22, 2020 10:55
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google THIS posted:Me: (trying on a pair of shoes I ordered off Amazon) What the hell? How are these a size 11?
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Jul 22, 2020 11:01
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Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:My.. A... DIDAS!
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Jul 22, 2020 12:38
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Aubergine Mage posted:passed down by Nike the Unholy?! Discovered by Adidas the Dark-Dank - THE VERY SAME. 
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Jul 22, 2020 16:51
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| # ? May 12, 2024 17:02 |
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Thunder Moose posted:Discovered by Adidas the Dark-Dank - THE VERY SAME. The New Balance of the world will never be the same |
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Jul 22, 2020 17:48
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