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  Alpha rules here dawgs!Welcome to Wizards Are Jerks, a homebrew game inspired by Magicka. Using a deck of elemental cards, you mix and match the elements to create your very own horrible spells! Wizards Are Jerks is a light, narrative-driven comedic game of putting out fires that you and your friends have started. By passing, dealing, and even stealing cards, players interact with each other in a chaotic fashion. As immensely powerful beings, your wizards will constantly fail forward, escalating problems until they bite you in the arse- sometimes literally. As magical beings working for a nefarious, interdimensional cartel, you’ll be travelling across the multiverse, seeking objects of great importance. Your very presence will cause havoc for unassuming worlds, as you complete both your assigned mission, and your own selfish goals. Your characters are as powerful as they are egotistical. Morality is a blurred spectrum, but it’s a truth universally acknowledged that Wizards Are Jerks. WAJ is designed to be a silly, light-hearted game. A GM-planned session can be done in 5 minutes. With 10 different elements that can be mixed and matched, casting wild and wonderful spells is only limited by your imagination.  How are we doing this? I've yet to playtest this with anyone, but have a deck ready for play on Roll20. This is my first ever attempt at writing a system, so I am really looking for critique on what I've got wrong, and how I can make this fun. I think I'd prefer to start as a play by post at first, and see how we get on. How do I start? Make a wizard! Character sheets are here. Unfortunately not form-fillable for now as I'm sure they're not final. Discord link here, let's chat and organise something
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Aug 4, 2020 22:33
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| # ? May 19, 2024 06:59 |
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 Agent Name: Callum A.K.A.: The Scarlet Rebel Rank: Apprentice Level: 1 Looks: Human, black hair, likes leather clothing Instinct: Assume everyone wants something Origin World: Reshard World Classification: Dragons, dystopia, revolution (+1 Fire) Recruitment Method: Unwilling; Was Pressured Into Joining Via Deal Training: Beginner's Guide To Magic Botany (+1 Earth) Weakness: Never Learned To Swim (-1 Water) Casting Tool: Sword Threat: Distrusts Authority Beard: 3/3 Max Cards: 6 Max Cast: 4 Arcanum: 3 Perk: The Pactmaker (Trade 1 Beard for an extra 2d6 on a roll) Noted, Saved Spells: Earthshake: Earth/Earth/Earth/Earth - A very powerful localized earthquake, good for bringing down buildings. Junpei fucked around with this message at 23:23 on Aug 11, 2020 |
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Aug 5, 2020 22:46
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 Agent Name: [The Emotional Valence of Falling Snow Rapidly Hiding How Badly You hosed Up] A.K.A.: Snowball Rank: Apprentice Level: 1 Looks: A fluff of snow, varying on a scale of frosty to dripping. Looks cooler than you ever will. Instinct: Covering (- things up / - for people / - own rear end) Desire: ~Winter is a time of endings, but endings are new beginnings~ Successfully uncover the Secret Deep State Reptilian Regime and expose it to the world, and then cover up everything else instead. Origin World: The Totally Real And Normal Country of Finland World Classification: International Whaling Conspiracy (+1 Water) Recruitment Method: Accidentally dragged into office on manager's hat Training: Compressed Into Vaguely Coherent Shape By A Rude Jerk Cheating In A Snowball Fight (+1 Ice) Weakness: Look, Melting Is Entirely Natural And It's Perfectly Normal If It Happens Sometimes  (-1 Fire)Casting Tool: Self/verbal Threat: Distrusts people who drink water due to traumatic snow-boiling incident Beard: 3/3 Max Cards: 6 Max Cast: 4 Arcanum: 3 Perk: Elemental Master - Once per session, spend 1 arcanum to convert a card to any other basic element Waci fucked around with this message at 12:00 on Aug 8, 2020 |
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Aug 6, 2020 01:20
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 Agent Name: Drachenkaiser Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte von und zu Marilleknödel A.K.A.: Circle Rank: Apprentice Level: 1 Looks: Totally normal human being please ignore the scales its a skin condition and shes very sensitive about it Instinct: Burninating all the peoples and taking their things Desire: To have satisfyingly large and happy humarium with cool human castle to live in and a big pile of treasure to sleep on Origin World: Dweeb containment zone #7536 World Classification: Overdramatic destructive nerds (+1 lightning) Recruitment Method: She burned her unemploymed status Training: Took an undergrad course in human culture (human culture enthusiast/+1 fire) Weakness: Doesn't actually speak german (inadaptable/-1 water) Casting Tool: Traditional human poses Threat: Inflammable...means flammable???? Beard: 3/3 Max Cards: 6 Max Cast: 4 Arcanum: 3 Perk: The Spell slinger: Once per session, you can spend 2 arcanum to cast an additional spell in a turn. Xun fucked around with this message at 12:03 on Aug 8, 2020 |
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Aug 6, 2020 01:51
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 Agent Name: Renee Tabitha Bartlett A.K.A.: Whirligig Rank: Apprentice Level: 2 Looks: Human, bottle green eyes, wavy golden brown hair, aviator clothes, winning smile Origin World: Shelaskarr World Classification: Airships, Thunderstorms, Crystals (+1 Wind) Recruitment Method: Thrown through a portal by an undercover recruiter just before her airship crashed. Training: Read "Elemental Attunement, Chakras, and You" (+1 Lightning) Weakness: Hates the bitter cold (-1 Ice) Casting Tool: Toy Raygun Threat: Chronically roots for underdogs Instinct: It's far better to do things first and ask for forgiveness later than it is to ask for permission first. Desire: To find out what happened that made her airship crash back when she was recruited. Room at HQ: Greenhouse with thunderstorms outside Mission 1 Goal: To elicit shock and surprise in either herself or others. Complete! Mission 2 Goal: To do such a good job acting undercover that one of her own allies might doubt her loyalties Beard: 4/4 Max Cards: 6 Max Cast: 4 Arcanum: 6 Destiny: 1 Bonuses: Lightning +2, Wind +1, Ice -1 Perk: The Enchanter (Once per session, spend 2 arcanum to turn a non-boss enemy into a permanent companion. They will devotedly serve you and can perform menial physical tasks until you leave the world.) Spellbook: Steam Beam Machine: (Fire+Water+Lightning) Fires a powerful jet of electrified, gaseous water particles in a continuous stream. Electro-Magnetron: (Earth+Earth+Lightning) Summons Wizard-controlled electromagnets that can be used defensively, used for solving puzzles, or fired off offensively like a rail gun. Summon Thunderstorm: (Lightning+Lightning+Wind+Water) creates a field effect: something beneficial for Lightning-based spells or increases chances of Lightning mana being drawn Blessed Lightbulb: (Earth+Fire+Lightning+Lightning) Creates a magical light source that can be used as a Light mana by allies. Angelic Flight Stones: (Earth+Earth+Wind+Light) Summons 1-use item for team members. Use: gain temporary Flight for an escape or attack. Lux Anima fucked around with this message at 03:45 on Sep 12, 2020 |
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Aug 6, 2020 09:40
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Really fun characters guys! If you have any opinions on char gen, please let me know. For reference, here's your Handler, who will assign your missions.  Handler: Guppa the Cloudbirther Origin World: Norum Kaye World Classification: Cosmic, Eternal, Dream Threat: Knows too much Guppa has existed in the dreams of those magically attuned for millenia. They are not very helpful, dispensing advice through elaborate cloud creations. With great age comes great knowledge, however. Previous operatives under Guppa's guidance have taken... early retirement, their minds scarred by cosmic horrors not meant for sane minds. Also Lux, we have a discord where we're having some conversations. There'll be a poll for if we do PbP or Roll20 there so well worth joining 
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Aug 6, 2020 12:36
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 Name; Gâteau A.K.A; Mr Mittens Rank; Apprentice Looks; Literally a housecat with a beard. Background; Formerly the pet cat of a terrible Witch, said Witch gave her feline companion intelligence in an effort to turn him into a familiar. 'Mr Mittens' as he was then known, furious at such an undignified title, immediately stole her spell book and went on a bit of a bender. He was wrangled by the organization and must have impressed someone, seeing as he got put into training. He's mostly just glad of the excuse for a name change. Goal: To one day possess opposable thumbs. Instinct: If it moves, POUNCE. Or blast magic at it. Origin World; Goosledorf World Classification; Demented Medieval, Minor Industrialism, Dying Magic Recruitment Method; Caught as part of a mission, but put into training instead of being locked up/disintegrated. Honestly fine with it... seemingly. Cats are aloof and mood swingy, after all. Elements; Home Element; Earth. Goosledorf has lots of EARTH. Trained Element; Fire. All cats desire fire. Elemental penalty; Lightning. It makes his fur PUFF like a big cotton ball. Casting method; Tail tip has a wand tip implanted into it. Swish and FLICK Threat; Maybe giving a cat magical powers is a bad idea?? As said, Cats are aloof idiots who misdirect aggression all the time. May lash out in confusion when injured or spooked. Beard: 3/3 Max Cards: 6 Max Cast: 4 Arcanum: 3 Perk; The Great and Powerful: Once per session, spend 2 arcanum to conjure an illusion to intimidate a non-boss NPC. This will always succeed, so long as the NPC cannot see you casting the spell. Panic Attack fucked around with this message at 19:30 on Aug 7, 2020 |
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Aug 7, 2020 17:13
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 Name: D.F. A.K.A: "Someone put that out!" Rank: Apprentice Looks: Imagine a wheelie bin(the trash kind), Imagine a Fire. Combine the two. Background: D.F. Formerly a wheelie bin used as a C.A.S.T. members trash receptacle. D.F. is a Fire Trashemental now living in said wheelie bin. It's a house, it's a a armor, it's a flaming bin of trash. D.F. moves about by channeling his flame into vents by his wheels, or overcomes his greatest nemesis(stairs) by flipping over and carrying his bin like a hermit crab. Goal: To find a way to create life from trash, to create more of his kind. So he isn't alone in this vast omniverse. Origin World: Chemplant IV World Classification: Major Industrial, Decaying ecosphere, Exploitative Capitalism. Recruitment Method: Rolled inside a C.A.S.T. compound, after greeting the person throwing out the trash with a bright and cheery "Hellooooooooo" D.F. was promptly moved to the sanitation department, disposal section during his training to be a field agent. In his time here his bin was lined with a heat resistant material, and mobility vents were cut into the bottom of the bin. Whenever he is not on a mission. D.F. helps with disposal of trash to accumulate more magical refuse to line his bin with. Elements: Home Element: Lightning, a destroyed atmosphere leads to rampant lightning storms. Trained Element: Fire. Dumpster. Dumpster Fire. Elemental penalty: Wind. It makes the trash go everywhere but in the fire. this displeases D.F. Casting method: Super heating the various magical substances coating the inside of his Wheelie bin and combining them before spitting them out. Threat: As a living trash inferno. D.F. has a quick temper. flaring up at inopportune times and burning hotter than he should. Fire is bad for many things. Beard: 2/3 Max Cards: 6 Max Cast: 4 Arcanum: 1 Perks: The Necromancer: Once per session, spend 2 arcanum to gain the top card in the graveyard. SpellbookComponents for flavour [T-F-W] Thunder Buddy - Create a Thunder Buddy, It Thunders Bodies.A small battery, and a bit of love. AzMiLion fucked around with this message at 13:29 on Aug 12, 2020 |
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Aug 11, 2020 16:57
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Posting my extra character here Agent Name: Ze-Ga-Mato AKA: Zegamato Rank: Apprentice Level: 1 Looks: Metalic golem, no rust Instinct: Defend the weak! Origin World: Gevenda World Classification: Craftsmen, Golems, Competetive (+1 Earth) Recruitment Method: Made (Literally) For This, Mulan Situation ('I send this golem instead of myself for this call') Training: Stood Outside With Sword Stretched High, Waiting For A Bolt To Strike Me (+1 Lightning) Weakness: Slow (-1 Wind) Casting Tool: The Runes Engraved On My Body Threat: Hates Injustice, No Matter The Source Beard: 3/3 Max Cards: 6 Max Cast: 4 Arcanum: 3 Perk: The White Wizard (Get 4 Arcanaum after reviving from death)
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Aug 11, 2020 23:20
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