|
I love elves. I'm not making a joke here. High Elves, Wood Elves, Wild Elves, Dark Elves, Night Elves, Moon Elves, Grey Elves, Pale Elves. Give me an elf and I'll make a seduction roll, you know what I'm saying?
|
#
¿
Aug 23, 2020 23:52
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 11, 2024 10:47 |
|
|
I used to date a Succubus. *Pauses for cheers and whoops* No, no, hold your applause. It doesn't end well. We tried. I mean, we tried really hard. She was worth it. We kept the personal and the professional separate. She had her demon thing, I had my Hero thing, then we'd get together over the weekend and, you know, hang out. Swap some stories. I had one about the thief who stole a cursed ring. Little guy really screwed himself, there. She had this great one about whipping a damned soul so hard he jumped off a cliff to escape. It was really funny, because, you know, you can't escape. Death offers no release. Doesn't work that way, buddy! *Pauses for laughs* And then came the demon invasion storyline. Yeah. You can see where this is going. Talk about an awkward weekend! She's all, "I don't mind that you beat me. I really don't. That's work. But..." That but? Never a good sign. "I had this whole pre-fight speech planned. There was a revelation about the reason for the demon war. There was a potential choice, there was a great secret you could've discovered. And then your Paladin just charged me." Look, babe, honey, dearest. *Makes wide hand movements* I don't control that guy. He just does that. I wish he didn't. But he does. Constantly. It's all we can do to stop him from doing it to the shopkeeper when he thinks we've been shortchanged. "Then why do you work with him?" Hey, it was either him or the bard! Yeah, she didn't like that. Thought I was cracking a joke. Making light of her concerns. And, you know, I really wasn't. I'll take a Paladin over a bard, any day. I'll take one of those Paladin, you all know exactly the kind I mean, over even the chance of getting one of those bards.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 24, 2020 00:28
|
|
|
I'm starting to feel old. I really am. Now, I know I look pretty good for six thousand, but I just can't keep up with the kids these days. The other day, I'm scrying on this party in the upper levels of my dungeon. Trying to get a feel for them. Who they are. What they can do. Maybe I'll change some things around, give them a real surprise on level three, you know? Well, this group, they've got a Psion, an Alchemist, a Dancer, and an Incarnate. Now, what am I supposed to do with that? What is that? Is that homebrew? Is that some obscure thing? Since when is that even a whole class, and not, you know, a side thing you can do when you're in town? Who even knows. I sure don't. They keep struggling with the bits that should've been easy, walking right through the poo poo that should be hard. I had half a mind to just go up there and ask. Just pass out a survey, maybe. 'What would you say is your greatest strength? Weakness? What sort of enemy do you find challenging and rewarding?' But I couldn't do that. Because they expect you to know. They expect you to keep up. And if you don't, that's a two-star review on your dungeon, right there, and now business is down and you can't feed your Cubes. When did that happen, huh?
|
|
#
¿
Aug 25, 2020 08:32
|
|