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I wasn't sure if the post belongs here, or to E/N. Decided to leave it here, since it's still pretty pet-centric. Several days ago, an extremely friendly kitten jumped into my car and didn't want to leave. I took him home, asked around if anyone's missing him , brought him to the vet for deworming. Given that he was pretty malnourished and appears to have survived mostly by stealing dog food from my parents' garden, the chance someone actually responds and takes him back isn't very likely. Leaving him to fend for himself isn't an option; realistically it was either take him home, or turn him to the shelter. Caring for a cat isn't a problem for me, or so I thought. I was brought up in a place full of animals. I live alone in an apartment I own, which is pretty small, but sufficient for a small animal. Since the pandemics, I work from home. I pretty much wanted to adopt a cat, but until several months ago, I rented a flat where this wasn't possible. The cat was and still is very friendly and affectionate - really energetic, but this is to be expected from a 7-8 months old cat. But since he appeared, my mental health took a severe hit. My daily routine got completely disrupted (autism) and there are additional problems I have to take care of, like cat-proofing my balcony or protecting the furniture from his claws. He wakes me up at night, which doesn't help too. Last but not least, being completely unprepared for a kitten, I constantly worry if I missed something that could hurt him - left the window half-open, forgot to check the washing machine before turning it on, etc. All this resulted in a state similar to depression. I spend some time crying or sitting in a stupor, concentrating on anything seems difficult. Since yesterday, I'm eating 1-2 meals per day and I have to force myself, because my appetite is gone. I feel like crap when thinking about things that can go wrong. I feel even more like crap at the thought of being unable to care for the pet and turning him to the shelter. Giving a cat a home only to take it away and pass the problem on someone else feels like a betrayal. I heard it's not uncommon to feel depressed after adopting a pet and that it passes with time. Is there any way to make this period a little less painful?
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Sep 7, 2020 18:33
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 04:11 |
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First off, you're doing a very kind thing taking care of a stray like that, and if this is causing you mental anguish do not feel like you're passing on a problem by taking him to a shelter. Young cats are in pretty high demand right now thanks to the pandemic keeping people home, so it's likely he wouldn't have much trouble being rehomed and you'd have given him the care he needed to find a permanent home instead of being hungry on the street. As long as you aren't just throwing him back on the street you will have helped him have a good life, no matter what you decide. If you do want to make it work though, part of it is I think just keeping an eye out for him without being too worried. You don't need to let him on the balcony at all, so cat proofing it isn't something to worry about (keep the screen closed if you want to open the window for fresh air.) You can also keep him out of the bedroom at night by closing the door. He may fuss about this if you let him in there before, but there's ways to discourage that. You will need to come up with a new scheduled 'normal' that includes time to feed him, clean his box, and play with him, but how long that takes to feel good again I can't tell you. It seems like the schedule disruption has been affecting you pretty hard. Does petting or playing with the cat make you feel better about caring for it? Do you get good feelings at all from it?
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Sep 7, 2020 21:49
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mistaya posted:First off, you're doing a very kind thing taking care of a stray like that, and if this is causing you mental anguish do not feel like you're passing on a problem by taking him to a shelter. Young cats are in pretty high demand right now thanks to the pandemic keeping people home, so it's likely he wouldn't have much trouble being rehomed and you'd have given him the care he needed to find a permanent home instead of being hungry on the street. As long as you aren't just throwing him back on the street you will have helped him have a good life, no matter what you decide. Thank you, that's very helpful to read. quote:If you do want to make it work though, part of it is I think just keeping an eye out for him without being too worried. You don't need to let him on the balcony at all, so cat proofing it isn't something to worry about (keep the screen closed if you want to open the window for fresh air.) You can also keep him out of the bedroom at night by closing the door. He may fuss about this if you let him in there before, but there's ways to discourage that. The balcony is a source of stress mostly because I leave my laundry to dry off there. The first day I had him, I almost accidentally left him there because he slipped through the balcony door when I didn't look. As for the bedroom, I'm already keeping him out and today I managed to sleep the full night. There are other things to look for – like the kitchen cabinets he loves to climb at and sleep there, but is afraid to actually descend. Or all the cables he sometimes tries to nibble. Or keeping the toilet seat closed, because he likes to drink the water there even though he has a bowl filled with water. quote:You will need to come up with a new scheduled 'normal' that includes time to feed him, clean his box, and play with him, but how long that takes to feel good again I can't tell you. It seems like the schedule disruption has been affecting you pretty hard. It does, especially when he curls on my lap or near me. I like him very much when he's calm. The first day I brought his home, he spent most of the time next to me, purring and kneading my leg. I was enamored with him. The main problem is that he's pretty much a cat teenager that spent a lot of time outside. Now that he's fed properly, he needs a lot of play time and places to explore. I bought some cat toys and try to give him 10-minutes long play sessions several times a day (using the fishing rod-like toy). The problem is that it doesn't seem to be enough for him and he frequently gets bored. In that case he tries to entertain himself – by playing with other stuff he shouldn't, running around and jumping, or scratching and biting my legs. Trying to keep up with such a lively animal wears me down quickly. And the worst thing is that he's not even as bad as he could be. My parents' cat, who grew up to be loving and well-adjusted, used to be a vicious little sociopath with trigger-hair temper. I was there when she was growing up. She was more manageable mostly because she spent a lot of time outside and there were four people to keep watch on her when she was home.
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Sep 8, 2020 10:29
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Awww, sounds like you're starting to figure things out! Remember you can laugh at some of the silly things he does even if they're problematic. He's never seen a toilet before! Clearly this is the best drinking fountain. (I had a cat who was a toilet drinker but he eventually grew out of it after a few months of seat-down.) What can really help with climbing behaviors is putting places he IS allowed to climb/hang out on near the places he shouldn't. A cat tree that lets him see into the kitchen might be more enticing than the counters/cupboards. He's curious, he wants to be able to watch you when you're doing Mysterious Human Things. Same thing with worries over furniture scratching, if you put a cardboard scratcher or a scratching post near the couch, he'll default to that and you won't need to worry about him attacking your couch. For cables they make something called Bitter Apple Spray that will discourage the biting but some cats don't care, you may need to be creative with wrappings or keeping them out of his reach. Play wise they make some toys that are for self-play that can be pretty popular depending on the cat. Jingly/crinkly balls are really cheap, there's some motorized toys like the butterfly on a wire or the mat with a moving thing under it, and of course the good old ball-in-a-track toy. It's hard to know what one your cat will love so you may need to try a few things.
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Sep 9, 2020 13:22
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You can make your own cat toys, too. Stuff like balls of aluminum foil (big enough that they can’t eat them) and empty package boxes. Anything they can bat around, they’ll play with. My cats seem to like playing with shiny things. One of them LOVES those shiny stick-on gift bows, so much that we can’t put them on our Christmas presents anymore because she always steals them.
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Sep 11, 2020 22:51
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I spent a few days in a really bad mood. It did eventually get better, although it's because of a realization that I was nowhere near ready to adopt a cat and only took him in because I couldn't have refused a kitten that seemed to be asking for help. I was running on mental and emotional fumes since the quarantine, relocation and having to furnish my new place. I spent the entire July reeling from all the changes, managed to work out something resembling a routine in August. Not the best moment to bring a kitten home. It seems the best thing to do will be to find him a permanent home, while continuing to care for him with a little bit lowered expectations (I was pretty neurotic about it before).
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Sep 12, 2020 23:02
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That seems like a reasonable decision and I want to stress that it's totally okay to not keep him. Not being in a good position to keep the kitten doesn't say anything bad about you as a person - by giving him a temporary home and finding a safe, loving permanent home for him, you're going out of your way to do something good for him and are probably going to make his new family extremely happy.
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Sep 13, 2020 02:14
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Whatever you do, make sure you take & post lots of pictures.
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Sep 16, 2020 18:05
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 04:11 |
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It sounds like a pet might be good for you, but on your own terms. Find a good new home for this little rambunctious kitten, and when you're ready, I bet a calmer older cat would be a delight to have as company.
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Sep 24, 2020 16:04
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