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Bacter posted:I could not possibly agree more. We need undocumented immigrants who we only pay in cocoa beans? I guess it would cut down our operating costs...
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Oct 5, 2020 00:05
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EclecticTastes posted:Taste Masks: Disposable face masks with candy buttons on the inside, so you can snack and observe proper pandemic safety procedures at the same time! Now, I know what you're thinking, this pandemic isn't gonna last forever, but I think afterwards, we're all gonna have a real good sense of humor about the whole thing, and these'll make a great gag gift. I like this direction. Cash in on pandemic-related confections to build a short-term customer base, and expand later. I know this is leaning a bit too close to Klein's medical-themed candies but all art (and profit) is derivative, after all. Candy masks made with edible paper and candy string, virus-shaped gummies, the works.
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Oct 5, 2020 00:06
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"nuts and gum": gum with a candy shell and a peanut in the middle. i just think the time has come. "wake up america": coffee, powdered egg, and tannerite
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Oct 5, 2020 00:12
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Oh god, you are actually doing this. When I first heard about this I thought you know if I had a bit of disposable income and there wasn't a freaking pandemic going on right now I would probably take a shot at this.
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Oct 5, 2020 00:40
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There’s a video on his channel called “what kinds of candy will I be able to make in the factory?”, and it’s an hour and ten minutes long. I wish I could summarize it, but I can’t read more than a few dozen lines of the transcript at a time, let ALONE listen to it. So far he’s talked about how HP computers used to be the best, “but now are much worse than Microsoft”, wants to know why nobody is watching his stream, and said he had an incredible idea for “whistle dogs”, hot dogs that whistle when microwaved.
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Oct 5, 2020 01:38
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Bacter posted:So far he’s talked about how HP computers used to be the best, “but now are much worse than Microsoft”, wants to know why nobody is watching his stream, and said he had an incredible idea for “whistle dogs”, hot dogs that whistle when microwaved.
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Oct 5, 2020 02:17
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Bacter posted:-snip- Given the, uh. size and value of the likely premises, perhaps we should aim for cheaper and suitably bootleg staff. Goonpah Loonpas or Grumpah Lumpahs, that sort of thing.
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Oct 5, 2020 03:51
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Wow I called "building should be condemned" on Discord, and Im right? This is going to be a glorious and horrible journey.
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Oct 5, 2020 05:41
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Arcanuse posted:Goonpah Loonpas Well, now we have our eventual gang tag, should this thread really take off. By the way, this thread has inspired me to creativity. Who can take some sugar Mix it into goo Say a Martian pissed it out and sell it all to you? The Candyman The Candyman can The Candyman can 'cause he's got many ideas, though they're not any good Who can take a clinic Call it "factory" Soak up all your cash and give the hovel out for free? The Candyman? The Candyman! The Candyman can The Candyman can 'cause he's got many ideas, though they're not any good David Klein, he yells Everything he sells Is God's gift to candy lovers Candy Sand and many others Want some pus? He's got you covered Who can take some popcorn Dip it in ice cream Use it to rip backers off like it's a Ponzi scheme The Candyman (David Klein, he can) The Candyman The Candyman can 'cause he's got many ideas, though they're not any good And they're no drat good 'cause the Candyman won't ask "should"...
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Oct 5, 2020 06:16
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EclecticTastes posted:Well, now we have our eventual gang tag, should this thread really take off. This is a thing of beauty.
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Oct 5, 2020 10:48
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"sandy buttholes": gummi buttholes you lick and stick in candy sand
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Oct 5, 2020 20:20
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1. Candy organs realistically positioned within a skin-colored human-shaped package. Dissect and share with your friends! Learn about anatomy while you feed your face! Available in Alien Autopsy version during Halloween. - or - 2. Regular candy ... but with microtransactions. Gothsheep posted:The question I keep coming back to when I'm reading this is "What is candy?" According to the Streamlined Sales and Use Tax Agreement (SSUTA), Appendix C, Part II, candy is defined as "a preparation of sugar, honey, or other natural or artificial sweeteners in combination with chocolate, fruits, nuts or other ingredients or flavorings in the form of bars, drops, or pieces. 'Candy' shall not include any preparation containing flour and shall require no refrigeration." However, this classification scheme would include non-flour-based breakfast cereals such as Fruity Pebbles while excluding flour-inclusive candies like Twix, Kit Kat and licorice sticks, which is clearly madness. As usual, we cannot rely on the state for help. I would step back take a philosophical approach: are definitions our masters, or our servants? Is not "candy" as much extant in the mind as it is in the taste buds or the pancreas? Instead of waffling over definitions, could we not instead grasp the question by its throat, assert our right as rational beings to classify the universe as we see fit, label a can of Green Giant green beans as "candy" and resell it at a 900% markup? I would suggest that we have not only a philosophical but a moral imperative to do this.
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Oct 5, 2020 21:45
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Mechanical Ape posted:2. Regular candy ... but with microtransactions. That's already a thing: 
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Oct 5, 2020 22:09
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A lollipop which gives you electric shocks, to condition you away from eating to much sweet stuff. If our sweets company goes bust, we take the competition with us!
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Oct 5, 2020 22:25
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Candy expansion packs! We sell you the chocolate and the nougat but then you have to buy the caramel separately!
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Oct 5, 2020 22:26
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cant cook creole bream posted:A lollipop which gives you electric shocks, to condition you away from eating to much sweet stuff. We could call it the Voluntary Candy Extinction Movement.
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Oct 5, 2020 22:46
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cant cook creole bream posted:A lollipop which gives you electric shocks, to condition you away from eating to much sweet stuff. I like this idea but we have to make the electric shocks light enough that they don't work
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Oct 5, 2020 22:48
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Rarity posted:I like this idea but we have to make the electric shocks light enough that they don't work 
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Oct 5, 2020 22:51
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Rarity posted:I like this idea but we have to make the electric shocks light enough that they don't work Okay what you're talking about at this point is a candy that doubles as some sort of shock-based sex toy so maybe let's not do that.
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Oct 5, 2020 22:52
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Oct 5, 2020 22:56
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Y'all remember Pop Rocks? What if we used a more powerful explosive? Put some nitroglycerin in there. It's medicinal!
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Oct 5, 2020 23:01
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Two words: Hulk Hogan's Candy Shoes.
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Oct 5, 2020 23:04
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what if we just do candy copyright infringement, who's gonna stop our Bunnerfimgers and Smeckers and Roose's
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Oct 5, 2020 23:04
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Hulk Hogan's licensing rates can't be too high these days.
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Oct 5, 2020 23:04
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ShallNoiseUpon posted:Bunnerfimgers What
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Oct 5, 2020 23:05
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Rarity posted:What You know how WCW had legally distinct but still similar theme songs? That one is Butterfinger. Like the candy bar.
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Oct 5, 2020 23:07
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ShallNoiseUpon posted:You know how WCW had legally distinct but still similar theme songs? That one is Butterfinger. Like the candy bar. Margarinefinger
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Oct 5, 2020 23:09
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Icantbelieveitsnotbutterfinger
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Oct 5, 2020 23:09
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ShallNoiseUpon posted:Butterfinger Again I say what
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Oct 5, 2020 23:12
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TooMuchAbstraction posted:Y'all remember Pop Rocks? What if we used a more powerful explosive? Put some nitroglycerin in there. It's medicinal! If we could tie it to 2nd Amendment rights we’d make a goddamn fortune
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Oct 5, 2020 23:12
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Rarity posted:Again I say what https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMxqUku71qs
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Oct 5, 2020 23:19
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Does it contain butter and or finger
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Oct 5, 2020 23:20
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Hey, so, we're all having fun being Candy Idea Men, but there's a couple other Candy Realities we should keep in mind for any of our serious propositions. First is that chocolate is crazy expensive, compared to most ingredients, which is why the vast majority of small, independent candy companies never use it. Similarly, nuts and legumes are pretty drat expensive, comparatively speaking. The more a candy focuses on just various methods of rendering pure sugar and/or corn syrup with some sort of gelatin or other chewiness-based additive, the cheaper it gets. This is why Candy Sand and Assorted Novelty Goop make up 90% of David Klein's product line, is because they're incredibly cheap to produce and he clearly blew through all his Jelly Belly money decades ago. Our initial confectionery offerings, while clearly made with more thought and effort than that, should still be focused on keeping the ingredients cheap. Sugar/corn syrup, gelatin/starch/whatever binding agent, artificial flavoring, food coloring, stuff like that.
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Oct 5, 2020 23:21
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steinrokkan posted:Does it contain butter and or finger when we own a candy factory we can make candy with butter and fingers probably
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Oct 5, 2020 23:21
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steinrokkan posted:Does it contain butter and or finger It does, in fact, contain peanut butter. And it's shaped vaguely like a finger. Now, Grape Nuts, on the other hand...
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Oct 5, 2020 23:25
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EclecticTastes posted:It does, in fact, contain peanut butter. And it's shaped vaguely like a finger. Now, Grape Nuts, on the other hand... Well that's a no go righ out of the gate, you can't sell that poo poo in he EU and we are obviously looking at global distribution opportunities.
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Oct 5, 2020 23:26
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steinrokkan posted:Well that's a no go righ out of the gate, you can't sell that poo poo in he EU and we are obviously looking at global distribution opportunities. we are not making salted licorice in this factory!!!!
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Oct 5, 2020 23:28
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Oh god we're going to have a corporate split before we even own the factory
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Oct 5, 2020 23:29
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ShallNoiseUpon posted:we are not making salted licorice in this factory!!!! Alright, you can sell your butterfingers as long as you call them blendedpeanutspreaddigits,
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Oct 5, 2020 23:30
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ShallNoiseUpon posted:when we own a candy factory we can make candy with butter and fingers probably Our Butterfingers will literally be a lump of butter in the shape of a finger, thus we can call them 'The REAL Butterfingers'.
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Oct 5, 2020 23:31
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