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miniscule12
Jan 8, 2020

HAHA YEAH HE PEED IN HIS OWN MOUTH I'M GONNA KEEP BRINGING IT UP.

My bowels are powerful, they speak truth to power and have an insight that taps into the primodial aether of time itself.

I remember waking up that November morning, I had university class to attend to at 11 am so I had some time before my commute. I turned on twitch.tv, and started watching a dota player named singsing. Singsing lived in the Netherlands but had been grifting his twitch chat by pretending to support then presidential candidate donald trump. He gained a big number of subscriptions by having the singWall twitch emote tied to his channel subscription. It was removed by admins because it's use was abused in other channels. At around 9am between games, he was going over the election predictions with fellow europeans. When he learned that trump had a 30% chance to win, he expressed shock.

"Isn't that way too high? That's way too high, it's a 1 in 3 chance! Oh poo poo." His channel was confused by his response. He then went on a rant on how America is an awful country, how he would never want to be an american because people go bankrupt paying for hospital bills, how great his country's healthcare system was. He said that black men could be gunned downed in the street and that america is a terrible country.

The chat continued to mindlessly support trump, as all of twitch chat did in 2016. I began my commute, this was before I starting listening to podcasts on my way to school. I was switching between npr and a public radio station that hosted democracy now. The npr coverage was a relaxed horse race coverage, confident in the earliest possible exit polls. Democracy Now hosted a segment about yet another group whose lives were destroyed by Obama's imperialism and then coverage warning of the dangers of a possible trump victory.

I parked half a mile away from campus in order to avoid paying money for parking. I'm pretty sure I didn't eat breakfast that day. Which is why it was a shock when, two minutes away from my classroom door I felt a great wetness explode in the back of my pants. I knew immediately that I had poo poo my pants in public. I shimmied into a building as fast as possible and slipped into a toilet stall. It took me about 20 minutes of wiping and a full toilet roll to address the problem. My entire butt was covered in liquid poo poo. I took off my underwear and scrubbed it with toilet paper. I had to scrub the inside of my pants as well. I created a layer of toilet paper between my skin and underwear, and a second layer between my underwear and my pants. I could not walk into class like this, so I walked half a mile back to my car and drove home.

Later, in a stunning upset hillary clinton had lost to donald trump.

So, what are your election 2016 stories!?

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Snake Dance
Jan 5, 2020

by Azathoth
Cool, dude

Terminal autist
May 17, 2018

by vyelkin
You drink your own piss and poo poo yourself? Might as well complete the trifecta go jerk off in a playground you freak

Taintrunner
Apr 10, 2017

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I was on a blind date and we watched the results in Time Square. Passing by Trump tower was hilarious, a bunch of Orthodox Jews were celebrating.

The relationship ended up not panning out. Then I met my wife about a month later. Woo!

tadashi
Feb 20, 2006

I was probably still drunk because the men who wear the pajamas I root for beat the men who wear the other pajamas.

Kazzah
Jul 15, 2011

Formerly known as
Krazyface
Hair Elf
drat i didn't know america had a forums account

Alobar
Jun 21, 2011

Are you proud of me?

Are you proud of what I do?

I'll try to be a better man than the one that you knew.
do you poo poo yourself every day, OP?

demostars
Apr 8, 2020
4 years since sing strim.i walk through the empty streets trying to think of something else but my path always leads to the stream. i stare at the screen for hours and try to summon the lord. i watch other asian girls streaming but it is no good. i flame slacks in ti6 and try to resist the nazi mods but it is all meaningless. the end is near.i then usually watch some old sing vods and cry myself to sleep.

miniscule12
Jan 8, 2020

HAHA YEAH HE PEED IN HIS OWN MOUTH I'M GONNA KEEP BRINGING IT UP.

Alobar posted:

do you poo poo yourself every day, OP?

no, but my body is covered in painful, continuously oozing boils and cysts.

miniscule12
Jan 8, 2020

HAHA YEAH HE PEED IN HIS OWN MOUTH I'M GONNA KEEP BRINGING IT UP.

demostars posted:

4 years since sing strim.i walk through the empty streets trying to think of something else but my path always leads to the stream. i stare at the screen for hours and try to summon the lord. i watch other asian girls streaming but it is no good. i flame slacks in ti6 and try to resist the nazi mods but it is all meaningless. the end is near.i then usually watch some old sing vods and cry myself to sleep.

miniscule12
Jan 8, 2020

HAHA YEAH HE PEED IN HIS OWN MOUTH I'M GONNA KEEP BRINGING IT UP.

bowel update: it's dicey

The Pussy Boss
Nov 2, 2004

On election day 2016 I canvassed for Hillary Clinton, as I had for months. GOTV campaigns have lots of paperwork. You're trying to turn out voters on your side, not persuade undecided people. So every canvassing shift you have a printout of Dem-leaning likely voters, and you check boxes as you go. This person already voted, this person is a firm yes, these people weren't home. On election day I was canvassing around 5 pm in this nice neighborhood right by the foothills, and the streets were empty, most people weren't home yet. It was one of those gorgeous fall days, like the last nice day before winter hits, and the sun was setting, and I thought, I better go turn in my forms to the nice middle-aged ladies who ran the campaign office, and then I realized that it didn't matter anymore, the polls were about to close. And the sun was setting, the sky seemed huge, and I felt tiny, like an ant in this massive world, it all seemed so much bigger than me and I felt like a fool to think I could change anything.

Then I went home and read this forum and people were posting about Dwarf Fortress (some video game? IDK) and they were 100% sure Hillary would win. Then she lost and I didn't sleep that night and at 7 AM i scraped the loving Hillary Clinton bumper sticker off my car. And honestly I've never been quite the same since.

Anyway, sorry for seriousposting in the thread about making GBS threads your pants :P

miniscule12
Jan 8, 2020

HAHA YEAH HE PEED IN HIS OWN MOUTH I'M GONNA KEEP BRINGING IT UP.

no that was a good post pussy boss.

I had a very healthy bowel movement in the toilet at 12 pm.

Biden is going to win.

Nix Panicus
Feb 25, 2007

Taintrunner posted:

I was on a blind date and we watched the results in Time Square. Passing by Trump tower was hilarious, a bunch of Orthodox Jews were celebrating.

The relationship ended up not panning out. Then I met my wife about a month later. Woo!

My wife was in New York City on business and watched the Empire State building lighting up as the returns came in. She called me in a panic when it went red

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT
I was too drunk to really understand what was happening and then had a hearty laugh the first time they said "President-elect Donald Trump" on television.

Nix Panicus
Feb 25, 2007

Animal-Mother posted:

I was too drunk to really understand what was happening and then had a hearty laugh the first time they said "President-elect Donald Trump" on television.

This is our 2020 plan. We're going to get drunk and play games with friends over the internet until time stops having meaning. We planned in advance and have tomorrow free too so we can ease back into reality and/or get drunker as the circumstances dictate

Augus
Mar 9, 2015


Wow! I didn't know the president posted on this site!

gh0stpinballa
Mar 5, 2019

my friend once twisted a bollock while trying to vote. but OP, get this: it wasn't his bollock.

miniscule12
Jan 8, 2020

HAHA YEAH HE PEED IN HIS OWN MOUTH I'M GONNA KEEP BRINGING IT UP.

gh0stpinballa posted:

my friend once twisted a bollock while trying to vote. but OP, get this: it wasn't his bollock.

testicular contortion is no joke friend

Stairmaster
Jun 8, 2012

i once pooped my pants in a best buy after eating at golden corral

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miniscule12
Jan 8, 2020

HAHA YEAH HE PEED IN HIS OWN MOUTH I'M GONNA KEEP BRINGING IT UP.

didn't poo poo myself this year, i've grown as a person

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