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Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
drat, I'm in two minds about this. On the one hand, I'm glad Checo is getting to drive for a top team. On the other, it's loving Red Bull. Still, hopefully there'll be some prime histrionics if he starts outpacing Cacks.

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Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
A quick look at Wikipedia shows this egg-headed motherfucker to be a real charmer, and a mediocre driver to boot. How did he get a se-

Wikipedia posted:

He is the son of Dmitry Mazepin, who is the core shareholder and chairman of the Uralchem Integrated Chemicals Company.
Ah.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
Just discovered the Netflix documentary. I used to think Christian Horner was a smug, two-faced twat even in small doses, and seeing him at length has actually diminished my opinion of him. What an absolute bell-end. (It doesn't help that he reminds me of my old boss.)

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

Frond posted:

Abetiboul is gone ahead of 2021 at Alpine. Can’t say I’m all that surprised - the guy has been talking out of his rear end for 3+ years.
And we'll get to hear one more year of it on Netflix soon!

Edit: also just saw that Rich Energy claim to be coming back to F1, lol

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

a pipe smoking dog posted:

I haven't heard that phrase in a decade and it brought an immediate smile to my face.

Please show us the huge lamp in these trying times.
Oh god, the massive lamp. That brings back memories of better days.

(I could only find a tiny, lovely version of the photo, sadly...)

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

ROFLBOT posted:

So how’s about that 2021 F1 calendar based on the Covid situation not being as bad as last year
No Tuscan GP, therefore crap.

Also Saudi Arabia, JFC. A country whose ruler ordered a journalist to be literally sawed to pieces in an embassy and slipped out of the host country in multiple diplomatic bags (to name just one of the many horrible things the Kingdom of Saud gets up to), but F1 gotta uphold Bernie's tradition of sucking up to wealthy autocrats and dictators with appalling human rights records in exchange for large bags of cash! And I bet the circuit's designed by Tilke to boot.

Fake edit: loving Tilke! I knew it!

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
Just learned how Brexit will affect F1: UK-based teams will now need a carnet to allow their cars to be temporarily imported into the EU for work purposes. That involves paying a £240+VAT admin fee (no biggie)... and 40% of the value of the car. For each car. :stare:

It's refundable at the end of the 12-month period of carnet validity, but even so, for the smaller UK-based teams that's a big chunk of money, especially when they previously paid nothing. (All the team's travelling staff will need similar paperwork as well.)

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

the corona quid posted:

A lancia beta turned up here a few weeks back for some absurd price but it looked good enough that I had to think about it.
If I had a moderately stupid amount of spare cash I'd buy a Beta Montecarlo.

And also a heated, dehumidified garage to keep it in.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

Theophany posted:

I really hope it ends up being to F1 what Driven was to CART.
Driven was originally intended as an F1 movie before Bernie said "lol, gently caress no."

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
Worst Thread flashback, prompted by Will Buxton appearing in my YouTube recommends: is Joe's Award (aka JJoc*) still a thing, and if so how mad is he that he wasn't asked to be a talking head for Netflix?

And has the Quantum money come through yet?

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
A young journalism student who also happens to be a woman gets publicly mocked by an angry and bitter middle-aged male hack who is widely regarded as a loser and a joke. Hmm. Hmmmmmmm.

Small Strange Bird fucked around with this message at 11:02 on Jan 27, 2021

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

Tsaedje posted:

Nosferatoupée
:perfect:

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

bgreman posted:

What does the fan DO?
It fires stones with great force into the face of anyone trying to overtake.

Unsurprisingly, the team was owned by Bernie at the time.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

LochNessMonster posted:

Newey would probably invent the first flying f1 car.
Webber test-piloted it in Valencia.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
The Former Soviet Union GP.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
Alfa, Alpha, Alpine and Aston. A commentator's nightmare, and/or a Two Ronnies sketch. It's even better than the Year of the Three Sebastians.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
I just did a Google search for "where to buy rich energy". The results were Amazon (via a third-party seller), Rich Energy themselves, and, er, eBay. (For some absolutely ludicrous prices. £2599.98 for 24 cans, anyone?) But if you want to walk into somewhere you might also buy competing products like Red Bull or Monster - ie, "shops" - you're out of luck.

Are the new owners of Williams rubes, or just desperate for sponsors?

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

FAUXTON posted:

mission binnow
Hardly surprising when the team boss is a literal binman.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
One year only? Well, that gives him a better-than-evens chance of winning an 8th championship, becoming the undisputed greatest F1 driver of all time, then getting to retire on a high (just before new regs come in and throw everything into chaos for a couple of years) and devote himself to his music career like DJ Squire.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

Fumble posted:

Mission Winnow comes to mind.
Having been away from F1 for a few years, I didn't know what Mission Winnow was and why it was plastered all over the Ferraris, so just looked it up.

missionwinnow.com posted:

Mission Winnow has a simple goal: drive change by constantly searching for better ways of doing things.
Fair enough, but isn't that what people and companies generally do anyway if they want to make money?

missionwinnow.com/what-is-mission-winnow posted:

Mission Winnow is an unconventional communications platform to share our journey and create a stage for constructive dialogue.
That... tells me nothing. Unconventional communications indeed.

missionwinnow.com/legal posted:

Mission Winnow is a PMI-driven initiative inspired by the drive and dedication of our partners. The initiative draws parallels between our partners' focus on constant improvement in performance and reliability, and PMI's journey to transform our business through science and technology to achieve a better future.
Oh, I see, it's a load of corporate-buzzword bullshit. But wait, what's PMI?

Google posted:

Philip Morris International Inc. is a Swiss-American multinational cigarette and tobacco manufacturing company, with products sold in over 180 countries. The most recognized and best selling product of the company is Marlboro.
Ahhhhh, suddenly it all becomes clear. It's cancer-stick advertising without actually advertising cancer sticks! :rolleyes: Should have stuck with the airbox barcodes.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

the corona quid posted:

I haven’t smoked in 5 years or thought about smoking in 5 years, I loving hate the thought of smoking now and let me tell you:

Cigarette liveries own.
Oh, gently caress yes. I haven't smoked for over two decades, but still think the McLaren Marlboro Senna-era livery is the definitive F1 paint job.

Also lotta tough goons ITT salty about having their smokes mildly mocked, lol.

Small Strange Bird fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Feb 8, 2021

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester posted:

Meaning JPS are the cigarettes of freedom and unity?

It is disturbing to the sound and rational mind to acknowledge that some might not confirm this obvious fact. I suspect those wayward wretches may soon post in that vein. What hath God wrought?
There's probably some defender of the BAR Two-Face livery out there cracking his knuckles as he prepares to type an essay.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
Just bring in Bernie's sprinkler idea in qualli and be done with it.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

net work error posted:

Story of the year will be a Williams podium happening somehow imo
Hope they've got plenty of fire extinguishers in their garage.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
Ferrari should win so we get to hear the jauntiest national anthem more often.

That, or Giovinazzi needs to pull his finger out.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

Carrier posted:

i love the hulk op hes the best
Who doesn't love the Hulk? Well, except K-Mag for some reason.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

CancerCakes posted:

Maybe if max was a better driver he would be in a better team?
Lewis wins an 8th WDC in 2021, becoming undisputed GOAT and retires to pursue his careers in music and fashion. Max jumps at the chance to take the empty Mercedes seat... only for Merc to botch the 2022 change from aero to ground effect, giving Alpine and Alonso a surprise win. Checo finishes second in the WDC.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
Silverstone may be a driver favourite and a technical challenge, but it's boring as gently caress to look at. Any Brit who gets misty-eyed at the thought of a flat field in the middle of nowhere is the same kind of Farage-supporting, flat-roofed-pub-with-Sky-Sports-frequenting gammon who preferred It's A Knockout to Jeux Sans Frontieres.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
Doing a Google search for "why silverstone is crap", as you do, as well as a TripAdvisor review that boiled down to "I don't know why anyone would dislike this place, I had a great time (also some animal smeared their own poo poo all over the inside of the toilet cubicle including on the door handle)", I found this bit of prime Silverstone wankery:

some dork at The Guardian posted:

And the circuit certainly has history on its side. Of the 33 drivers who have held the drivers’ title, 19 have won the British Grand Prix at Silverstone, starting with Nino Farina, the first champion, in 1950.

Holy poo poo! You say almost two-thirds of the WDCs have won at one particular track in the 70 years it's been on the calendar? That's nearly as impressive as the 20 WDCs who won at Monza in the same period!

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
Hugo Boss is Lewis's official outfitter. Know who else they officially outfitted?

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

Tsaedje posted:

Valtteri Bottas?
Bottas's clothes are by Hugo Employee.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

Rebus posted:

Some smoothbrain put the full 3D model of the FW43B into the AR app. Link
The other teams all rush to import the model into their own systems to see if there's anything they can steal/need to worry about... then remember it's Williams and delete it.

Seeing the car untextured shows how ridiculously feathery and complicated the bargeboards have become. If the FIA wants to cut costs and equalise aero development, they could go a long way by just saying "Cut that poo poo out and make it flat."

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

net work error posted:

Because of the heavy Russian influence of this year's car I am pulling my support from what I thought was America's team, Haas.
Or if you look at the logo on the rear wing from behind, Swit.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

EvilBlackRailgun posted:

Who is the goon hivemind cheering for this year? The Clerk?
Checo, even though he's racing for Red Bull. Because it would be the funniest thing ever if he beat Max.

Alternatively: Are Loois, Shoey Grinface, comeback kid Alonso.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
Have Rich Energy confirmed that they're going to be making GBS threads up some unfortunate third-rank team this year yet?

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
Watched some old BBC season reviews on YouTube, and lol at them taking up time in the 2011 show with a segment on the surely glorious future of talented British up-and-comer Paul di Resta.

Also watched 2009, and had completely forgotten about the threatened FOCA split that effectively got rid of Max Moseley. It was mysteriously unmentioned in the official FOM season review for some reason.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
F1 just announced that Portimao will be returning this season. Except that hmm, I took this screengrab from the F1 Experiences site a few days ago, even as the official F1 site said it was TBC. Gee, I wonder where the unconfirmed race in mid-April will be taking place?



I guess when you're dealing with people willing to spaff £10,000+ on an F1 holiday weekend, you want the inside track to get their money as soon as possible.

Small Strange Bird fucked around with this message at 11:30 on Mar 5, 2021

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!
Mmm, yes - apart from where they're totally different, they're exactly the same!

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

FAUXTON posted:

cosmo steier is clearly waiting until his replacement nose is fully healed to get his headshot taken
Cosmo Understeier (into a wall).

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Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

Rebus posted:

I'll be recruiting p soon
I'm up; my joining Williams couldn't make things any worse.

[Somehow Williams' HQ explodes.]

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