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Hi! I live with my mum, who's hard of hearing, and over the last year it's gotten much worse. I don't mind repeating myself but I'm running into some more serious 'intolerable to live with' issues, and I'd like some solutions or ideas for the following problems:** 1. The hearing aids give her ear infections so she's refused to wear them. 2. Listening to TV incredibly loudly (tis a christmas miracle the neighbours haven't killed her yet). CC gives her eye strain so we can't just mute it. Finds over the ear headphones uncomfortable for more than a few hours but maybe there's a super light weight/comfy one you can recommend or something? 3. She doesn't believe her hearing has gotten worse. Just this morning she woke me up by blaring music from the speakers and wouldn't believe me when I said it was really that loud. She doesn't realise she's screaming instead of talking. I am literally getting headaches from being screamed small talk at for hours. Ideas for broaching this serious convo? 4. Any general life improvement tips? ** "Move out" is not a solution for a variety of reasons right now, not the least because even if I do there's still the problem of blasting the neighbours with crime shows at 9pm at volume 100.
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Dec 29, 2020 10:08
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| # ? May 2, 2024 19:06 |
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These seem like enormously solvable problems and my read here is that you don't want to solve them for some reason or another. 1. Figure out why her hearing aids were giving her an infection. Talk to a Doctor. 2. 'More than a few hours' is still enough to wear them most them time...I hope. Also, try other headphones, preferably ones designed for longer wear. 3. Denial is a problem and getting her regularly assessed would probably be a good idea anyway. Talk to a Doctor. 4. Actually address and solve the problems at hand here. Moving the loving world for your delusional mother at every step is unacceptable. Don't indulge that behavior or you'll end up with a spoiled child.
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Dec 29, 2020 12:04
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ear plugs
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Dec 29, 2020 13:20
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Is there anyone else you can call on to reinforce the message? A doctor is a good first shout, especially as infections due to hearing aids is unusual and needs be resolved, but often people with these sorts of issues find it hard to believe that things are declining when they hear them from someone who is with them a lot. Sometimes a more 'objective' suggestion that things are not as they were can get through. There's also a good chance that your mum is in denial because hearing loss (or the decline of any other basic function) is really scary and can bring up other worries about getting older and becoming less independent or able to cope.
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Jan 2, 2021 17:27
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This is a common thing in my life because I'm a speech-language pathologist and a lot of my older patients have hearing loss, many of whom are in denial. Try a different hearing aid. I bet an audiologist would suggest a behind-the-ear hearing aid because it doesn't fully occlude the ear canal so it's less likely to cause infection. If you can get her to go, an audiologist would be able to give her hard data that shows her degree of hearing loss and offer solutions. In the meantime make sure you're talking to her face-to-face so she can see your mouth. A lot of people with hearing loss rely on visual cues of mouth movements, even if they don't realize they're doing it. You've probably already realized this, but if you're giving her important information ask questions to check for understanding. A lot of people with hearing loss are really good at faking that they heard you. For the TV, can you get the sound to play on an auxiliary speaker so she can keep it closer to her rather than blaring it?
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Jan 2, 2021 21:35
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Snake Tornado posted:In the meantime make sure you're talking to her face-to-face so she can see your mouth. A lot of people with hearing loss rely on visual cues of mouth movements, even if they don't realize they're doing it. You've probably already realized this, but if you're giving her important information ask questions to check for understanding. A lot of people with hearing loss are really good at faking that they heard you. This is a really, really good point. I've seen it a lot and it's pretty impressive, but important to consider. Being aware of the impact of background noise is also helpful as hearing loss means that it can be very challenging to pick out the important sounds against background noise.
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Jan 3, 2021 17:17
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There is no solution that doesn’t end with her getting a different hearing aid. My father has been notoriously deaf since he got off the aircraft carrier he was stationed on in the early 60’s but was only convinced to get his hearing tested in 2010. He referred to it as his “selective hearing.” He loves this thing now. His idea of hearing aids were the giant uncomfortable ones from the 80s, but hearing aid technology has changed a lot recently. His model can Bluetooth to the tv, sending the audio signal directly to him. There are multiple filtering modes he can put it on, like for being at a restaurant where there’s lots of background noise that he can make recede while boosting the volume of his companions. The in-ear bits can be custom molded so there’s no rubbing. Yes, these types of models are more expensive. They are worth it for your sanity. He does sometimes intentionally not put them in while he’s puttering around his workbench, but that’s so he isn’t technically lying when telling my mom that he just didn’t hear her looking for him.
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Jan 3, 2021 17:33
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| # ? May 2, 2024 19:06 |
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Thanks for your input, everyone. We had the talk (it was a little rough but I'd spent the week correcting her every time she was shouting across the room in public) and we're going to look into a different hearing aid. A lot of it was just her not wanting to admit her hearing really had gotten so bad. And I'm making sure she can lip read me as much as possible now. I know it sounded simple and probably "just climb out of the well" but it's really hard when your only patents getting old and won't admit things are getting harder.
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Jan 13, 2021 09:12
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