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The Oldest Man
Jul 28, 2003

This drawing of pikachu with a fat rear end is worth seventeen hundred dollars

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/750520011298439171/826216979606011982/4eb26ee67a5bfc66a895852ff7e1f05b2ac2811d.png

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The Oldest Man
Jul 28, 2003

One of the country's most popular political commentators is the former host of the show where people eat bugs for money; after spreading anti-vax misinformation to tens of millions of listeners during a deadly pandemic that's claimed hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of American lives, he caught the disease in question and began eating horse deworming paste to treat it.

The Oldest Man
Jul 28, 2003

A legal coup was averted due to the timely advice of Dan Quayle to one of the plotters to just not do a coup because that would be illegal holy gently caress what

The Oldest Man
Jul 28, 2003

The joke timeline finally got me

The Oldest Man
Jul 28, 2003

The leading mayoral candidate in Seattle Washington promises to make every police officer swear not to be a racist murderer and will high-five them if they can keep that promise for one week after his election.



The Oldest Man
Jul 28, 2003

Sorry, I need to issue a correction to that plain, factual, and uninflected statement. He will ask them to voluntarily sign the "no racist murder" promise that means nothing. He will not actually make them sign it in any way. Unclear whether the first week high-five offer still applies if a non-signatory police officer murders a Black guy.

The Oldest Man
Jul 28, 2003

Koishi Komeiji posted:

A bill that would prohibit adults from hitting children with disabilities at school has failed.

Been saying this in a plain, factual, and uninflected manner since 1995
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Convention_on_the_Rights_of_the_Child#United_States

The Oldest Man
Jul 28, 2003

Alabama has been accused of illegally harvesting organs from dead prison inmates, and in a completely unrelated development has started executing people with nitrogen gas, the only method of execution that safely preserves organs for transplantation

The Oldest Man
Jul 28, 2003

Wakko posted:

Mitch McConnell's billionaire sister-in-law Angela Chao drowned in sinking Tesla because its strengthened glass windows were 'impossible to break or open' after she reversed into pond

Pete Buttigieg's performance as transportation secretary making me pine for the days when drunken Tesla aunty's sister was running the department

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The Oldest Man
Jul 28, 2003

The Oldest Man posted:

the first episode of the omegaverse anime is out

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