Hey I got an email! Oh, it's junk. Unsubscribe from list... I have to sign in to unsubscribe? But I don't remember ever signing up in the first place... screw it, I'll deal with this some other time. Hey I got an email... -- Oh no, terrorists kidnapped my grandchild and are demanding iTunes gift cards! Those louts, I bet they'll spend it all on devil music! -- That's it, I'm giving this "no-reply" person a piece of my mind!!! Dear... sir... or... ma'am... |
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# ? Jan 4, 2021 17:25 |
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# ? May 6, 2024 03:18 |
*checks email* |
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# ? Jan 4, 2021 17:35 |
dammit i was finally about to watch butts.... | |
# ? Jan 4, 2021 18:07 |
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I have never gotten a death threat via email so it is still the undisputed champ of digital communication to me |
# ? Jan 4, 2021 18:08 |
# ? Jan 4, 2021 18:09 |
Future e-mail archeologists select my data for a minor exhibit. 75 straight months of bank statements in an inbox, not one ever opened, how curious.
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# ? Jan 4, 2021 18:48 |
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*homestar voice* eeeemaiw
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# ? Jan 4, 2021 18:52 |
mailorder bees! posted:*homestar voice* |
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# ? Jan 4, 2021 19:30 |
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*homsar voiiiiice* Yeeeegsaw |
# ? Jan 5, 2021 11:12 |
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has anyone used Hey email? they claimed to have “fixed” email for good |
# ? Jan 5, 2021 13:23 |
Grump posted:has anyone used Hey email? they claimed to have “fixed” email for good "Fixed" as in like Bob Barker "fixing" stray cats and dogs, right?
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# ? Jan 5, 2021 16:33 |
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:"Fixed" as in like Bob Barker "fixing" stray cats and dogs, right? Cut off he balls, of email |
# ? Jan 5, 2021 17:49 |
they should go back in time and re-invent email but this time we need an e-stamp and everyone can make their own e-stamps, you just make sure to attach any cool image file and if the receiver wants they can cut out your e-stamp pic and store it in their photoalbums | |
# ? Jan 5, 2021 19:42 |
Khanstant posted:they should go back in time and re-invent email but this time we need an e-stamp and everyone can make their own e-stamps, you just make sure to attach any cool image file and if the receiver wants they can cut out your e-stamp pic and store it in their photoalbums And proceeds from E-stamps go to Wikipedia and Archive.org! I love imagining alternate universe internets where things like section 230 or COPPA never happened, or ARPA thought ahead and built privacy protections in at the ground floor.
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# ? Jan 5, 2021 19:48 |
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this made me lol gonna copy/paste into an email and send it to anyone i've ever met
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# ? Jan 5, 2021 20:05 |
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THIS POST IS FOR OLDSTERS ONLY! Remember, before you had email, when you had regular mail, and you were like "electronic mail, you say?" And then like 3 months in you were all "wow this is so great, I look forward to reading my electronic mail *way* more than I look forward to reading my 'snail' mail!" And then there was a usenet post about a green card lottery. And now you're like "bill, bill, junk, bill, junk, ad, ad, ad, list I can't get off, ad ad, bill, junk". It's, like, maybe it's just the nature of human socialization that when the group gets too large it loses significance and becomes an obligation devoid of personal meaning or value? Therefore, you should delete your Facebook account. HTH, HAND |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 19:04 |
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cruft posted:THIS POST IS FOR OLDSTERS ONLY! cruft posted:Remember, before you had email, when you had regular mail, and you were like "electronic mail, you say?" cruft posted:And then there was a usenet post about a green card lottery. cruft posted:And now you're like "bill, bill, junk, bill, junk, ad, ad, ad, list I can't get off, ad ad, bill, junk". Didn't get you point but I completely agree about Facebook. You are wise and i like you. |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 19:12 |
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By popular demand posted:
HELLO FELLOW OLDSTER. You will notice I am bottom-posting, for I too am old. Canter and Siegel invented the notion of "spam" back in 1994, posting to dozens, maybe hundreds, of usenet groups about a "green card lottery". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laurence_Canter_and_Martha_Siegel Before then, nobody had ever considered sending unsolicited commercial mail electronically. It was just a matter of time before someone realized how much cheaper it would be than postal mail: Canter and Siegel did it first. As soon as there was more junk than content on usenet, people found other ways to talk about things with a better signal:noise ratio. Things like the Something Awful forums, which at one time were the biggest forums on the Internet. If you'd like, I can go on about how Paul Graham saved email in 2002. |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 19:23 |
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Thankfully I'm no longer interested in ⚽ and so I'd be delighted to learn more history. |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 19:25 |
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By popular demand posted:Thankfully I'm no longer interested in ⚽ and so I'd be delighted to learn more history. Okay! Paul Graham was this crazy LISP hacker who started Yahoo Storefront or something. He was like "hey, I bet people might like to buy stuff with computers!" This wound up being a good guess, and he made a lot of money. One day, he was all "I wonder if my spam tends to have words that my non-spam doesn't". Words Paul Graham's Spam Had
Words Paul Graham's Non-Spam Had
So he had a conference where he explained to a bunch of nerds some weird and misnamed math that was like super-early AI. It works like this:
This worked amazingly well! There are hundreds of other math tricks in use now, but basically this is why Gmail only shows you a couple spams per month, even though only 5% of email in 2002 (18 years ago!) was not spam. Your pal, cruft PS: I dislike BBcode. |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 19:38 |
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cruft posted:There are hundreds of other math tricks in use now, but basically this is why Gmail only shows you a couple spams per month, even though only 5% of email in 2002 (18 years ago!) was not spam. PPS: this is also why it's important for you to mark spam in your email, instead of just deleting it. The spam-detecting robot needs to be able to learn from any mistakes it made, and you're the teacher! Your pal, cruft |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 19:42 |
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Only 5%? That explains why my 2002 email was so popular while I was not. I don't care for any coding language so im still in your corner buddy. |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 19:43 |
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By popular demand posted:Only 5%? That explains why my 2002 email was so popular while I was not. None of us do, but everyone can be persuaded to do what you want if they are offered a large enough amount of money. |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 19:45 |
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Cruft as a fellow old I appreciate this history lesson on email and SPAM. Now I have to go push pixels around a page and make my boss happy because the pixels are in a slightly different configuration that he thinks will get us more money (it will not it is bad design and he doesn't even read Monteiro). |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 19:45 |
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cruft posted:None of us do, but everyone can be persuaded to do what you want if they are offered a large enough amount of money. loving Python 3. |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 19:46 |
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Kief Richards posted:Now I have to go push pixels around a page and make my boss happy because the pixels are in a slightly different configuration that he thinks will get us more money (it will not it is bad design and he doesn't even read Monteiro). Have you ever stopped to consider that you're being paid to press buttons in a very specific order? That is probably 100% of your job. Your totally sober pal (seriously, we do drug testing), cruft |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 19:48 |
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It was no big surprise to me just how many professional cooks I met had ditched a career in code wrangling. Join us, the pay ain't great but you can actually feel like you're accomplishing something! e:And you can open a place of your own and go bankrupt the fun way! |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 19:52 |
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By popular demand posted:It was no big surprise to me just how many professional cooks I met had ditched a career in code wrangling. I just hired a guy whose parents run a restaurant. I don't think I could muster that sort of commitment, but I totally respect people who do, which is why I hardly ever give bad restaurant reviews. e: also, I've got to be honest, I am way too big a nerd to be doing anything other than my current job. |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 19:57 |
This has been a fascinating insight on multiple levels. However I refuse to curate my in-box in any way, screw your "helpful" filters!
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# ? Jan 7, 2021 20:09 |
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:This has been a fascinating insight on multiple levels. However I refuse to curate my in-box in any way, screw your "helpful" filters! You strike me as the sort of individual who would like to hear about my penis pills! You strike me as the sort of individual who would like to hear about my penis pills! You strike me as the sort of individual who would like to hear about my penis pills! You strike me as the sort of individual who would like to hear about my penis pills! You strike me as the sort of individual who would like to hear about my penis pills! You strike me as the sort of individual who would like to hear about my penis pills! You strike me as the sort of individual who would like to hear about my penis pills! You strike me as the sort of individual who would like to hear about my penis pills! They're pills, see... but they're penis shaped. |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 20:12 |
cruft posted:You strike me as the sort of individual who would like to hear about my penis pills! *scrolls past block of entries, requiring no additional effort *experiences no downsides to decision to not filter in-box
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# ? Jan 7, 2021 20:18 |
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:*scrolls past block of entries, requiring no additional effort So how many can I put you down for? They come in packages of 100. |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 20:21 |
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cruft posted:Have you ever stopped to consider that you're being paid to press buttons in a very specific order? If they drug test me I hope it's an open notes oral exam because buddy I have a lot to say about drugs, at this job By popular demand posted:It was no big surprise to me just how many professional cooks I met had ditched a career in code wrangling. I got this job as a part time administrative assistant and a year and change later I'm a CTO please help me I cannot escape |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 20:25 |
Well I'm convinced. Consider me sold on the idea of filters, I never used the "ignored users" list before...
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# ? Jan 7, 2021 20:25 |
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Kief Richards posted:I got this job as a part time administrative assistant and a year and change later I'm a CTO please help me I cannot escape Omitted by Kief Richards is that the company has 28,000 employees. It's okay, Kief Richards, we're friends here and we're happy you rocketed to the top! BoldFrankensteinMir posted:Well I'm convinced. Consider me sold on the idea of filters, I never used the "ignored users" list before... |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 20:29 |
Neat, it works!
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# ? Jan 7, 2021 20:30 |
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cruft posted:Omitted by Kief Richards is that the company has 28,000 employees. Lmfao it's five people including me kill me |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 21:02 |
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drat. At this point you may wish to scam all your co-workers, grow a moustache and become Chef Felipe. You can have that identity for free. |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 21:09 |
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Kief Richards posted:Lmfao it's five people including me kill me Yes but are you dead from the liquor present yet? |
# ? Jan 7, 2021 21:10 |
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# ? May 6, 2024 03:18 |
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it's like uber, but for email
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# ? Jan 7, 2021 21:14 |