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I worked at a power company as a software developer for a while, and it was a pretty good place overall but some senior manager had the biggest hardon ever for making sure that there was not any "double standard" between office staff who touch computers all day and field staff who touch HV all day. Every person had to get their "construction white card" which is a trivial set of training typically used to induct people onto building sites. It typically takes a whole day so everyone rolled their eyes and got it done. Another time they banned high heels as a surprise announcement during a town hall. They actually walked this one back the next day due to mutiny from the female office staff.
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Feb 2, 2021 05:48
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Extra Large Marge posted:We somehow started using Skype, Webex Teams, Microsoft Teams, and Slack all at once. Some people now just use one and passive aggressively refuse to answer any messages on the other platforms. Holy poo poo, us too. Someone joined the company who I used to work with in another company, so I dropped him a message on Webex to say hi. I never heard back from him, so I just assumed he didn't really care about it. Six months later he replied and said that the team he started with primarily uses Slack so he's never even opened Webex, and now he has a million unread IMs.
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Feb 2, 2021 05:55
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Marmaduke! posted:It's Meetings-free Friday! Join this Zoom call at 3pm, ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY We're a cool, hip, carefree company! Feel free to have a beverage during the meeting! (Yeah, thanks for giving me permission to drink one of my own beers) VVV holy mary mother of god! ~Coxy fucked around with this message at 03:30 on Feb 12, 2021 |
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Feb 12, 2021 03:16
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Tetramin posted:One time when we were like 14 my buddy showed me the printed piece of paper he’d bring into the bathroom to Jack off to since he only had a family computer, and it was a bunch of like SA avatar sized titties lmao Trying to find stuff for free in the late 90s usually meant TGP; Thumbnail Gallery Posts. There were maybe 20-30 thumbnails on the page of a photo session, in increasing states of nakedness. Only the first couple of thumbnails would link to the full-size photo, and the rest would link to the paywall. So I can 100% believe enterprising teenagers ripping all the thumbnails and printing them out and poring over them with a magnifying glass.
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Feb 21, 2021 01:43
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SkyeAuroline posted:Nope. Software written in 1988! 9 character limit. 30 years of running random numbers and saving them. And the RNG only supports 0-9 despite the field supporting full alphanumeric characters. I don't remember what this system actually did but I definitely have a similar anecdote. The system generated a random number that had to be unique, so after it generated it did at least check for clashes, and then if there was a clash it would generate another number, so far so good. Of course after a few hundred thousand order numbers (or whatever it was) it started to take longer and longer to generate unique IDs. Eventually it even exhausted the search space, or at least had filled enough that it seemed to hang the system and never respond, so people would kill it and restart, only for the same thing to happen the next time.
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Feb 24, 2021 02:43
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cynic posted:My work have setup a 'covid secure work environment' where every single person on the entire floor is forced to walk via a one-way system right in front of my desk. My state is covid-free and we don't have to go through the IR cameras and show our "pass" on our phones anymore but they have still disabled all but two turnstiles for "reasons" so what actually happens of course is that you spend more time in close proximity to other people than if they just loving enabled them all.
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Feb 27, 2021 05:00
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ilmucche posted:Someone sent a scan of their passport to the wrong printer in our office once. It got printed by the printer made for spitting out big drawings, so a passport sized image bang in the middle of like a 2m wide sheet of paper  Someone did the same thing at my work with a boarding pass. (I wish I had put something on the photo for scale. The chair-back kinda helps.)
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Mar 16, 2021 13:54
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Hyrax Attack! posted:For monitor chat, when I was in a dept 10 years ago I was denied a request for a second monitor so I asked if I could bring an extra one from home. Of course not, as what if it were loaded with viruses? My first "real" job in 2005 we had those enormous "flat screen" CRTs which were fine but obviously starting to go the way of the dodo for LCDs. The office would run "disposal auctions" for IT crap so I bought another of the same CRT as I had on my desk, which still had a valid certification, and put it in my cubicle (the luxury!) so I could have dual monitors. Anyway, I got in trouble for that and they made me get rid of the second CRT. If I remember correctly the reason stated was that people would think I was getting special treatment and everybody would want dual screens (no duh!)
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Mar 18, 2021 02:59
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Barudak posted:My work made me drop off all my equipment today at my last day but didn't have any of the forms ready where Im supposed to sign to not poach people or steal company secrets and I didn't remind them so now Im pretty sure I can reveal without repercussion the most boring poo poo imagineable. Like every form that is designed to protect the company and does literally nothing for you, do your best to get out of signing it.
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Mar 19, 2021 07:50
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Critical posted:a couple weeks in my boss comes over to ask me to vlookup some data, i said sure, and when he came back because he forgot to tell me something he saw me googling "excel 365 vlookup" and pulled me in another room to scold me since I was supposed to know these things VLOOKUP is a prime example because as-implemented it's quite quirky and you're probably going to get a couple of weird results until you google it and re-familiarise yourself with its edge cases.
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Mar 26, 2021 03:25
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I feel like this is one of those things where Webex/MS Teams have this weird concept of "team meetings" where it will instantly summon every participant into an A/V meeting and I have never ever been in a situation where I would want to use it nor accept such a call. (It's usually someone who pressed the "Meet Now" button by accident/exploration.) Not quite the same concept but the lack of IM-ettiquite reminds me of http://nohello.org/
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Apr 4, 2021 12:51
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:There's also a fairly common mentality that technology that existed when you were a kid has just always been there and is 'normal', tech that came out when you were aged in your teens/20s was exciting and new and fun and a gateway to opening up new potential, but once you hit middleage most of the new tech is newfangled and complicated and just plain unnecessary because the old way of doing things was still perfectly fine dadgummit!! It's a funny saying but I'm pretty sure it isn't true. Anyone who works with kids knows how bad they are at using computers, and as for the "old" guys in the office, it's the year 2021, if you're say 50 then the PC should be right in your wheelhouse.
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Apr 5, 2021 10:29
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Batterypowered7 posted:Is it too much to ask to get some documents that clearly detail the requirements and the specifications for how everything is supposed to work, and then for the customer to just gently caress off for six to eight months while the developers put it all together? It's impossible to know the requirements and specifications for how things are supposed to work before you build it. I'm not joking, this is well-established. Almost every project that though they were an exception to this, failed.
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Apr 7, 2021 03:04
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thathonkey posted:big companies tend to spend money in a really insane fashion on everything except actually paying their employees better for the work they do daily. If you have a legitimate reason to get a tower, then the only tower that they have is an absolutely bananas HP Z8 with all the sliders set to max. It's probably over $30K even with corporate buying power (which can't be that high because the fleet is not standardised on HP.)
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Apr 8, 2021 02:24
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goatface posted:We can ask them to start making some merch. Every podcast needs merch. My t-shirt? Yeah it's a podcast, it's pretty obscure, you probably haven't heard of it.
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Apr 16, 2021 03:10
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AHH F/UGH posted:I know that in the past when people used their work PCs to search for gun ammo and stuff they got told off. I use my personal PC for all my work stuff now, and at work the worst thing I'd search is videogame wikis and stuff, which I think the IT guys either appreciated or most likely didn't give a poo poo about. Something Awful is often blocked specifically due to TFR.
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Apr 27, 2021 02:39
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Breetai posted:Which is more aggravating while working tech helpdesk: a user instant messaging the word "hi" and nothing else, or asking a user a very simple yes or no question that your troubleshooting will hinge upon and then watching the message bubbles for 10 minutes while they either type an answer that is ambiguous, or suddenly stop and go offline for the day before sending? I go into the chat so they can see I have read their salutation but I make sure I don't start typing anything in reply until they send a second message asking something. If you have the guts you can also just reply with https://www.nohello.com/
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Apr 30, 2021 02:40
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Cthulu Carl posted:My company just told everyone to take what the wanted from their desk and the asset management team just went "Welp, we ain't seeing that poo poo again" and ordered replacement monitors and docks for after the remodel is done. Good, it was probably overdue for replacement anyway. (I have been in not just one but two companies that moved into shiny brand new digs but for some perverse reason packed up and shipped all their 10 year old 1680x1050 monitors with aged CCFL backlights for reuse.)
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May 7, 2021 05:01
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The forced duplex thing doesn't even make much sense, because paper is less than a cent per page. (Versus the colour printing thing a few posts up.) I can understand defaulting to duplex.
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May 26, 2021 04:12
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Volmarias posted:People were expecting Silverlight to go belly up in 2011, and Microsoft officially announced deprecation it in 2015. IE6(!!!) is the only browser that can still run it! Why in the world would you buy anything running Silverlight?! thathonkey posted:honestly didnt know you could even run ie6 on modern os without using a vm or something lol It's not quite as bad as all that - you can run Silverlight in IE11 on Win10 just fine. But like Flash recently, it is going to be EOL in another 6 months. Although the Silverlight EOL is not going to be quite as sudden. It will just go out of support and you won't be able to download it* onto a new machine. *From official MS sources, at least.
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May 30, 2021 11:55
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Slotducks posted:oh this reminds me- our company requires us to put our email address in our email signature I love it when you see this and the bit that says barney.rubble@cybderdyne.com actually has the mailto: link of fred.flintstone@cyberdyne.com because when Barney started he copied it off Fred's signature and just changed the text because of course that's what you would do.
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Jun 2, 2021 02:52
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Zarin posted:drat, your training documents have words? One of the hardest problems in my org is finding the actual URL to get to whatever system. I normally end up searching the portal and hopefully you find a document that actually has it listed.
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Jun 8, 2021 02:38
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Atillo posted:Whenever you get to a video meeting late make sure to apologise loudly even if the meeting has already started and someone else is in the middle of a sentence. Spies from other companies will often join your daily status update teleconference/videoconference so make sure to ALWAYS set the option that plays a beep and the person's name when they join.
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Jun 17, 2021 02:48
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SkyeAuroline posted:"Open File Explorer-" This is Microsoft's fault for obfuscating the name of the shell program in Windows.
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Jun 23, 2021 02:43
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Speaking of bastard IT depts and corporate images, I just ran in this today: No, there is no password manager to use instead.
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Jul 12, 2021 02:21
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My work always nags us about booking Christmas leave, even though the stated cutoff to have it submitted is usually sometime in mid-November. This year I got the nag email today. "I know it’s July but it’s also worth getting your AL + Bonus Leave requests in as early as possible too." Why is it worth booking my leave as early as possible? It isn't! It doesn't benefit me in any way to book it so early!
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Jul 12, 2021 03:54
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Rockman Reserve posted:this one is madness, crunch is bad but constantly burning down stories sprint after sprint after sprint leads to total burnout Agile doesn't make the pace anything. They called them sprints because the idea was you have a short race with a finish line at the end. People abused that term (sprint === running as fast as you can!!!) so we're trying to move away from it. Anyone worth their salt on an agile project is measuring velocity and using that as the basis for planning sprints.
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Jul 15, 2021 03:20
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Cthulu Carl posted:Was processing some software install requests today and... Just let the guy have Notepad++ or whatever it is, sheesh. Not sure how the guy is meant to know who the "Business Owner" is! (Unless this post is making fun of your company's dumb Service Now implementation in which case carry on)
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Jul 22, 2021 02:43
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•Rogues do it from behind.
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Jul 30, 2021 03:12
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Volmarias posted:Time to just delete them unread instead of trying. I am about 70% sure that deleting the phishing exercise email unread instead of clicking the "Report Phishing" custom add-in (with an icon of a fish, of course) counts as a fail in our org.
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Aug 4, 2021 02:39
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Pretty scummy but I assume they mean bottled water from the fridge, not grabbing a cup off the fountain hose.
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Aug 9, 2021 07:58
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Baconroll posted:Only a couple of years aog I encountered an 'IT professional' who had never come across the entire concept of cut and paste. Took a while before I realised they weren't joking. In non-technical, but still office-based computer-toucher roles; if you could somehow poll the world I bet that understanding the notion of copy and paste is about 80% but the amount that know Control+C, Control+V is more like 50%.
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Sep 9, 2021 05:03
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Catastrophe posted:10 Barrel Brewing had to recall an entire season's worth of their "Swill" radler beer because it wasn't quite finished fermenting yet and bottles were exploding on customers. 10 Barrel sucks dong anyway, though. I'm surprised this isn't happening more often now that every ex-footballer and his dog is setting up their own "boutique" "craft" brewery in a shed on their hobby farm in the tourist region.
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Sep 10, 2021 03:49
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Pyrtanis posted:One of the hospitals I worked at did Medicare fraud and as part of the settlement, everyone, down to housekeeping, had to do dumb computer based training things on ethics for like, five years. A whole bunch of senior partners at a big 4 in my city just got fired (probably technically ordered to resign) about this. Wallet posted:I just have an autohotkey script that moves my mouse 1 pixel to the right for 100 ms and then back if it hasn't moved in 10 minutes but it's my own computer so I can install whatever I want. MouseJiggle is good but if one's work is that evil they might presumably look for running programs called that so maybe rename it to Teams.exe before you run it.
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Sep 22, 2021 03:18
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http://nohello.org/
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Oct 8, 2021 13:59
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a hot gujju bhabhi posted:Reminds me of a joke a friend and I have about how Australian bogans speak. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8566607-let-s-talk-strine 
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Oct 10, 2021 13:14
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Prism Mirror Lens posted:People who can’t touchtype make my blood boil cause every time I go to help them this happens: This is becoming less of a thing now thanks to SaaS/SSO, but I never could stand it when I was working with someone and they would have to login into something we use everyday like Jira or timesheets or whatever and they would not tick "Remember Me" or "Save Password".
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Oct 17, 2021 12:44
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Rent-A-Cop posted:At my job HR will send you lovely emails if you don't join the weekly management jackoff meeting where we're all forced to listen to the podcast we won't download. I don't know about your company necessarily, but in every company I have worked HR is not your boss. Most of the time they have a over-inflated sense of importance and get to make their own work, but they don't control your time in any way.
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Oct 23, 2021 13:38
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zedprime posted:Slack auto responses are trying to tell me to live my best life. This is how we know that "AI" is basically bullshit. Slack, MS and Google have analysed billions of messages and responses and still can't come up with a suggestion that I'd ever want to actually use and probably wouldn't save me any time anyway.
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Nov 11, 2021 03:23
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Wendigee posted:My job sent out a 250 dollar bonus and I was already vaxxed and you better believe I jumped on that and spent it all on weed friends. BHP did $200 but only for employees, not contractors.
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Nov 15, 2021 02:12
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