- cruft
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ABSTRACT
There is currently a long ship stuck in the Suez canal. Normally ships this long do not have a problem with the Suez canal, but in this case, the wind blew the long ship until, suddenly, and (we assume) alarmingly to the ship's crew, the long ship became a wide ship. Unfortunately, the Suez canal is not as wide as the now wide ship. Therefore, the ship is stuck.
In This Thread, we propose several novel methods for dealing this this problem, with the hope that one or more proves helpful in the unsticking of the ship.
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Mar 26, 2021 21:12
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 11, 2024 10:16
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- cruft
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Idea: rotate the ship 90 degrees (either clockwise or counter-clockwise).
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Mar 26, 2021 21:13
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- cruft
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The ship could be airlifted out of the canal with a sufficiently large* helicopter.
* Approximately as large as Rhode Island
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Mar 26, 2021 21:14
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- cruft
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Given the current rate of sea level rise, we could just wait for the water level to rise until the canal is as wide as the ship. It should only take 30-60 years.
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Mar 26, 2021 21:15
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- nut
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what if it wants to be there
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Mar 26, 2021 21:43
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- nut
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that's great but it needs to share the canal with the rest of the boats imo
imo the markets have said that this ship is king ship
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Mar 26, 2021 21:53
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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lubricating oil spill
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Mar 26, 2021 22:34
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- cruft
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This is why it's so important to only put ships in your canal if they have a flared base.
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Mar 26, 2021 23:25
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- Robot Made of Meat
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So, the ship got stuck because it turned in the canal, right?
Sooooo . . .
Why not simply turn the canal so that the boat fits again?
This is NOT rocket science, people.
Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!
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Mar 27, 2021 03:10
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- Ventral EggSac
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Slap it with the arm we found in the woods over the summer
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Mar 27, 2021 04:22
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- Sing Along
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by Athanatos
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I've been reading some fascinating news reports on Twitter about what is happening with the boat, and I think that the thread needs to see this. Clearly, comprehending the problem is the first step towards ideating a solution:
https://twitter.com/forestofmyth/status/1375178837995225094
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Mar 27, 2021 04:24
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- FutonForensic
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just leave it. gently caress it
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Mar 27, 2021 05:15
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- cruft
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just leave it. gently caress it
We can't do both, pick one!
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Mar 27, 2021 05:17
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- Finger Prince
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A whole lot of lube. Just like, a poo poo ton of lube.
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Mar 27, 2021 05:33
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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Hire those scrap metal thieves that steal entire bridges to come remove it overnight.
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Mar 27, 2021 05:58
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- RepeatingMeme
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this place is not a place of honor
no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here
nothing valued is here
what is here was dangerous and repulsive to us
this place is best shunned and left uninhabited
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Idea: godzilla could probably move that bad boy ez-pz, just keep nuking the canal until some sort of kaiju appears to help us move it a little bit
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Mar 27, 2021 06:06
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- RepeatingMeme
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this place is not a place of honor
no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here
nothing valued is here
what is here was dangerous and repulsive to us
this place is best shunned and left uninhabited
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Has anyone considered just building a fuckin dope rear end ramp off the side of that baby and the other boats could do sweet jetski tricks as the get mad air jumpin it?
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Mar 27, 2021 06:07
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- RickRogers
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Woh, is that a thing I like??
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Poke it with a long broom.
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Mar 27, 2021 06:27
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- RickRogers
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Woh, is that a thing I like??
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Tow an iceberg into the canal so it gets scared and runs away
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Mar 27, 2021 06:29
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- Escape From Noise
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Cover up the Suez Canal, act like the whole thing never happened, and move on with our lives.
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Mar 27, 2021 06:35
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- Escape From Noise
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Break down the one large boat into several smaller, more nimble boats.
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Mar 27, 2021 06:35
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- FluffieDuckie
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At this point we should just build a new canal
Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!
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Mar 27, 2021 06:40
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- The Walrus Cancer
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If we were all trees, there'd be no more wars. 'Cause we'd be trees.
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We'll take the canal and push it somewhere else.
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Mar 27, 2021 06:43
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 11, 2024 10:16
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