Novel Methods for the Unsticking of a Long Ship from a Narrow Canal

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Novel Methods for the Unsticking of a Long Ship from a Narrow Canal

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Escape From Noise

Use several discarded novels as leverage to free the boat.

# ? Mar 27, 2021 06:48

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# ? May 11, 2024 23:06

Sing Along: by Athanatos

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

One man's stuck ship is another man's cool new canal bridge.

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# ? Mar 27, 2021 07:31

vanisher

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# ? Mar 27, 2021 07:47

vanisher

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# ? Mar 27, 2021 07:55

vanisher

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# ? Mar 27, 2021 08:02

vanisher

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# ? Mar 27, 2021 08:07

nut

passing out in ecstasy thinkin bout how many yugioh cards it must've taken to weigh that thing down

# ? Mar 27, 2021 12:55

blaise rascal: "Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Pearl...."

put some ship food at the end of the canal

nut posted:

passing out in ecstasy thinkin bout how many yugioh cards it must've taken to weigh that thing down

lmao

ty vanisher, ty khanstant

# ? Mar 27, 2021 15:33

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

vanisher posted:

# ? Mar 27, 2021 15:43

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

Put lipstick and a wig on another cargo ship and have it wave a handkerchief and yell "yoo-hoo"

# ? Mar 27, 2021 17:02

Dr. Yinz Ljubljana

Look I might only be saying this because I've been binging Evangelion, but still, hear me out : a giant robot piloted by teens?

# ? Mar 28, 2021 08:32

Escape From Noise

Maybe the mods should unsticky the ship.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 13:06

Elmnt80

Escape From Noise posted:

Maybe the mods should unsticky the ship.

I tried that since apparently being carmod means I get super powers of controlling all vehicles, but it didn't work. :smith:

They should just let it finish its nap, its very cranky rn.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 15:26

alnilam

Elmnt80 posted:

I tried that since apparently being carmod means I get super powers of controlling all vehicles, but it didn't work.

They should just let it finish its nap, its very cranky rn.

I think BFC mods get dominion over large watercraft

# ? Mar 28, 2021 17:39

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Assume that the ship is a cylinder and just roll it out.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 19:33

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

It's actually impossible. Just realize the truth that there is no boat and all you have to do is unstick yourself.

# ? Mar 28, 2021 20:13

biosterous

turn the canal upside down and shake it loose

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Mar 28, 2021 21:06

Stoner Sloth

alright hear me out... what if we got a bigger ship and pushed it out of the way?

oh that got stuck too? poo poo. alright hear me out, what if we got an even bigger...

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# ? Mar 28, 2021 23:26

Finger Prince

Anyone remember that movie The Philadelphia Experiment?

# ? Mar 29, 2021 00:05

Manifisto

Finger Prince posted:

Anyone remember that movie The Philadelphia Experiment?

yeah, that one where the aircraft carrier contracted HIV and went back in time to find a cure, that was a doozy

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Mar 29, 2021 00:11

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Finger Prince posted:

Anyone remember that movie The Philadelphia Experiment?

Yes! We'll build a time machine on the ship and transport it into the future where someone else can deal with it!

Bravo!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? Mar 29, 2021 00:11

2Fast2Nutricious

Just have like five guys (actual people not the burger place) start digging down to drain the canal. Then put floaties underneath and let the water back in

# ? Mar 29, 2021 00:49

alnilam

Buttchocks posted:

Assume that the ship is a cylinder and just roll it out.

Just casually rotating a bunch of ships in my mind

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Mar 29, 2021 00:59

The Walrus Cancer: If we were all trees, there'd be no more wars. 'Cause we'd be trees.

Instead of pushing the ship out of the canal, pull the canal out from under the ship.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 00:59

Ventral EggSac

Push as if you're having a bowel movement. Relax your body and thighs and push as if you�re having the biggest BM of your life. And speaking of bowel movements, put all your concentration and focus into the pushing � not into worrying about whether you'll be emptying your bowels or passing urine while you're at it (that happens to every delivering canal� and people who attend container ship removals for a living understand this, expect this and don't think twice about it).

Tuck your chin to your chest. If you're propped up on your back, make sure you put your chin to your chest to push. This will help you focus your pushes to where they need to be. It might also help to look down below your naval so you remember where your pushes should originate from.

# ? Mar 29, 2021 18:31

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

tuggin

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Mar 29, 2021 18:45

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Maybe we should consider whether or not it's even a canal at all and not a big fuckin boat holder

# ? Mar 30, 2021 04:26

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Mods please rename this thread Naval Methods for the Unsticking of a Long Ship from a Narrow Canal

# ? Mar 30, 2021 04:26

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Just give the boat a crave case from White Castle, it'll loosen up in about 30 minutes

# ? Mar 30, 2021 04:27

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Have you considered just cutting the middle out of the boat so other boats can drive through, bing bing bong so simple

# ? Mar 30, 2021 04:28

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

It would own really hard if the ship wasn't even stuck at all, it was just tired of everyone's bullshit and faking it

# ? Mar 30, 2021 04:32

cruft

I heard the ship is no longer stuck.

Way to go everybody. We may never know which of our suggestions led to the boat unsticking, but rest assured that collectively we have made the world a better place for long ships that unexpectedly became wide ships.

# ? Mar 30, 2021 04:48

alnilam

Paying attention to tantrums like this only feeds them. Just walk away and say something like "okay, I'm going to sail through the mediterranean, I'd love for you to join me when you're ready, see you later" and when the ship sees you get a few nautical miles away it will quickly steam after you

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Mar 30, 2021 04:53

Escape From Noise

Another BYOB success story!

# ? Mar 30, 2021 04:54

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

cruft posted:

I heard the ship is no longer stuck.

Way to go everybody. We may never know which of our suggestions led to the boat unsticking, but rest assured that collectively we have made the world a better place for long ships that unexpectedly became wide ships.

Another byob success story. :toot:

# ? Mar 30, 2021 04:57

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

Well, I wasn't ready for the ship to become unstuck.

I refuse to believe that the ship is unstuck.

# ? Mar 30, 2021 04:59

Escape From Noise

Teddy Thunders posted:

Well, I wasn't ready for the ship to become unstuck.

I refuse to believe that the ship is unstuck.

Ship shipping

# ? Mar 30, 2021 04:59

Randy Travesty: PHANTOM QUEEN

I'm a stuck ship Truther

# ? Mar 30, 2021 05:00

Escape From Noise

Refusing to believe my shipment from overseas has arrived because it's clearly blocked by that boat

# ? Mar 30, 2021 05:09

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# ? May 11, 2024 23:06

cruft

Escape From Noise posted:

Refusing to believe my shipment from overseas has arrived because it's clearly blocked by that boat

Don't fret, EFN, we'll all be getting our sex arses soon enough.

# ? Mar 30, 2021 05:11

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Novel Methods for the Unsticking of a Long Ship from a Narrow Canal

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