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I still remember it clearly when it was my first day at Hogwarts and they sat me down in that chair in front of everybody. The hat thought for a good long while until it shrieked out triumphantly: "Chucklefuck!" And everyone clapped and cheered. I was so relieved I wasn't sorted with the nerds in Gabenbra! It was the best day of my life thus far (until the first time I got my wand sucked by a giant sloar). Post what house you were sorted into (unless it's too personal, that's okay) and any anecdotes you recall from your time at The HogWards School of BitchCraft and PeaSantry! Were you there when drunk Dumbledorf took a dump in the House Cup? What was your favorite subject (mine was Scatomancy - divination by interpreting the utterances of one Scatman John)?
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May 25, 2021 20:42
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Flipendo
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May 25, 2021 20:46
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the gently caress is you talking about
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May 25, 2021 20:47
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House Slitherin'
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May 25, 2021 20:52
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Slartibartfast. No wait.
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May 25, 2021 20:53
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House of OP's Mom, and I get myself sorted there every night
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May 25, 2021 20:54
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What house are all the mods in? I should be in that one
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May 25, 2021 20:55
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Nooner posted:What house are all the mods in? I should be in that one The Big House
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May 25, 2021 20:56
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May 25, 2021 20:56
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIer-xVGWec
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May 25, 2021 20:57
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i tried a dick enlarging spell and ended up having to go to the school nurse to fix it and i swear she took an extra inch off
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May 25, 2021 21:04
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Aardvark! posted:i tried a dick enlarging spell and ended up having to go to the school nurse to fix it and i swear she took an extra inch off I bet I know what the magic words were 
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May 25, 2021 21:06
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im working on becoming an animagus. my shapeshift form is going to be one of the hemsworth brothers
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May 25, 2021 21:07
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The Bloop posted:I bet I know what the magic words were “Suck your own dick”? 
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May 25, 2021 21:16
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This weirdo promised to teach me how to be an animagus but instead he made me an animegus
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May 25, 2021 22:09
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At Hogwarts I learned to "Slytherin" to the OP's mom. She loved to "Hufflepuff" my "Ravenclaw" (if you catch my drift). I taught her the "Gryffindor" and she rode me all semester long  So yeah you could say I had some good years there
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May 25, 2021 22:12
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I think it's funny that there's an arrogant nazi house and at the end of the books the protagonist tells his son that he wishes he gets put in the nazi house.
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May 25, 2021 22:16
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low key sex master posted:At Hogwarts I learned to "Slytherin" to the OP's mom. She loved to "Hufflepuff" my "Ravenclaw" (if you catch my drift). I taught her the "Gryffindor" and she rode me all semester long that was actually me using a polyjuice potion of the OP's mom
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May 25, 2021 22:19
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Brahmin
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May 25, 2021 22:21
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I've never read harry potter and I never will and none of you can do anything about it
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May 25, 2021 22:22
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Aardvark! posted:that was actually me using a polyjuice potion of the OP's mom  even better
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May 25, 2021 22:23
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William Henry Hairytaint posted:I've never read harry potter and I never will and none of you can do anything about it Look at this fuckin muggle
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May 25, 2021 22:23
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That awful hag who wrote the books really hosed up by not having HP get a goth Slytherin girlfriend or boyfriend
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May 25, 2021 22:24
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The stupid hat assigned me to be the Hogwarts IT guy and now everyone knows magic except me. 
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May 25, 2021 22:29
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Yer an install wizard
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May 25, 2021 22:37
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I’m going to find and gently caress a house elf.
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May 25, 2021 22:37
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a peck of pickled peckers posted:I’m going to find and gently caress a house elf. in the harry potter world thomas jefferson had a bunch of half-house elf children
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May 25, 2021 22:39
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goblin house we troll the trolls
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May 25, 2021 22:39
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I'm a wizard I poo poo my pants and turn the stain invisible haha aren't I quirky also elf slavery is super cool
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May 25, 2021 22:40
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:“Suck your own dick”? That, friend, is famed historical figure "Biggus Dickus"
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May 25, 2021 22:54
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Which house gives you your own room? Given my proclivities I don't think having a roomie would be a wise idea.
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May 25, 2021 22:55
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Derpies posted:Which house gives you your own room? Given my proclivities I don't think having a roomie would be a wise idea. do you ever actually see what the sleeping conditions are like in the other houses? i bet the hufflepuffs all sleep in one magically oversized bunkbed
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May 25, 2021 22:59
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Derpies posted:Which house gives you your own room? Given my proclivities I don't think having a roomie would be a wise idea. Its probably a group activity anyway at these fancy boarding schools. Should be fine Expelliarmus!
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May 25, 2021 23:04
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Aardvark! posted:do you ever actually see what the sleeping conditions are like in the other houses? I guess I call top bunk then, let the below bunkers deal with the consequences DeadFatDuckFat posted:Its probably a group activity anyway at these fancy boarding schools. Should be fine Glebam Prono!
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May 25, 2021 23:19
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Crappium Posto
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May 25, 2021 23:26
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the sorting hat put me in Viacom
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May 25, 2021 23:29
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Got assigned a balldo at the wand shop, what about y'all
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May 25, 2021 23:33
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Outhouse.
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May 25, 2021 23:37
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DeadFatDuckFat posted:Got assigned a balldo at the wand shop, what about y'all they gave me a bop-it
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May 25, 2021 23:37
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Vicodin. that's how I got to meet my hot wife professor cuddy
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May 25, 2021 23:38
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