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heading out to the car to get my warranty info so the nice lady on the telephone can help me extend it lady: okay so if you reach into the back of the glove compartment you should find a secret switch me: drat ok yeah, found it lady: you should see a sequence of runes appear on the car horn. touch them in sequence, and tell me what happens me: ok i- HONK- think i know what you m- HONK- ean by seque- HONK HONK HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK lady: it sounds like it's working me: okay, the dash board has lifted up, and there's a glowing orb behind the radio. lady: don't touch it with your bare h- me: OW gently caress |
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May 29, 2021 17:46
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heading to the dang Energy Core store to buy gift cards so i can pay off my tax debt to the Interdimensional Nigerian Wizard Lottery
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May 29, 2021 17:47
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Those robocalls in Mandarin aren't trying to scare mainlanders into surrendering their personal details, they're actually calling them to a sacred quest to free the ancient Shaolin temple from maurading Japanese invaders, and the fate of Kung Fu hangs in the balance. |
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May 29, 2021 19:58
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A computerized voice saying "this is Canada Revenue Agency, in order to avoid a penalty judgment from The Magistrate, you must climb the sacred peak to regain the power of dragons and save Canada." |
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May 29, 2021 20:01
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"Roadside assistance is on its way" As my car is towed away, a van pulls up next to me, fantasy mural on the side reads Spiritpath Vibrations. Pasty middle aged nerd, born well past the heyday of the new age movement, opens the door and says "Hop in!" He explains that the government is after me and I'm lucky he got there before the ride AAA sent.
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May 30, 2021 16:55
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I don't know what you all are talking about with scams. I was polite with the lady and answered her questions and received my extended warranty in the mail 3-6 weeks later. |
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May 30, 2021 17:17
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trying not to make eye contact with the bink in the sameite dress hanging out in the mall water fountain, next to a pile of wet rusting swords.
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May 30, 2021 20:41
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THE KING HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY DARKRAM THE LORD OF DARKNESS i am alone in my palace of boners I WILL gently caress UNTIL THERE IS NO loving LEFT TO DO crimes |
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May 30, 2021 20:42
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Intern with a clipboard asks me to take a quick survey and I say yes. Now I'm slogging through the marshlands of Ulg marking down where all the goblin camps are located.
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May 30, 2021 20:50
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super sweet best pal posted:Intern with a clipboard asks me to take a quick survey and I say yes. Now I'm slogging through the marshlands of Ulg marking down where all the goblin camps are located. Everywhere, everyone is red and green |
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May 30, 2021 20:56
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to complete this survey you will need the following items: state ID, a record of your birth, the Seal of Sacrifice, a #2 pencil,
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May 30, 2021 21:08
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Hot singles in your area are looking to be rescued from dragons!
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May 31, 2021 04:53
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Your move, creep! Are you going to let these fantastic deals on aluminum siding fall through your fingers? |
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May 31, 2021 11:48
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Duct cleaning guy with the weird accent calling me at work again. "listen buddy, this is an office, I keep telling you! We don't need you to cleanse our portals!" *hangs up* "wait, what did he say?" |
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May 31, 2021 12:01
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Escape From Noise posted:Your move, creep! Deals?? Everywhere, everyone is red and green |
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May 31, 2021 18:00
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didn't Return to Zork start with a "you may already have won fabulous prizes" letter?
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Jun 1, 2021 18:55
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driving around in a white unmarked van offering to sell people Moon Sapphires that fell off the back of the MULE.
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Jun 1, 2021 18:55
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Finger Prince posted:A computerized voice saying "this is Canada Revenue Agency, in order to avoid a penalty judgment from The Magistrate, you must climb the sacred peak to regain the power of dragons and save Canada." temeraire books getting weird |
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Jun 5, 2021 01:20
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snergle posted:temeraire books getting weird thank you for reminding me to check what naomi novik's written lately, turns out there's a new series she's started hooray!
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Jun 5, 2021 01:37
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Went to a job interview but I knew something wasn't right when it turned out to be a group interview. Sure enough, an old man in a robe adorned with stars came in and told us how important it was that we kill some guy called Mugfucks or something, I don't remember. I dipped out after a few minutes.
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Jun 6, 2021 10:54
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cursed to save other souls but only if i can scam you into taking the extended warranty |
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Jun 6, 2021 11:03
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called out to a simple home repair, i should of noticed how labrynthine and mazelike this drat basement was, long story short, now i'm crushing skeleton skulls with a got dang ball-peen hammer.
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Jun 6, 2021 14:28
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Bamboozled into a time share sales pitch when I suddenly realize, this isn't a ski resort in Aspen they're trying to sell me on. I've been to Aspen. There are no frost dragon lairs in Aspen. |
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Jun 6, 2021 18:58
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Escape From Noise posted:Your move, creep! I'd buy that for a dollar! |
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Jun 6, 2021 19:21
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getting the extended warranty on my Nimbus 420/69
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Jun 7, 2021 00:10
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:didn't Return to Zork start with a "you may already have won fabulous prizes" letter? Ah, the Sweepstakes winner ... (yeah, I worked on that game) "Bicycling is a healthy and manly pursuit with much to recommend it, and, unlike other foolish crazes, it has not died out." |
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Jul 27, 2021 20:52
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