Historical Figures and the Video Games they were Bad at

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deep dish peat moss

I'll start...

1) George W. Bush - Tower Defense games, Ultima Online (cried on the forums a lot)

2) Franz Ferdinand couldn't even beat the first level in Superhot

3) You would be surprised how bad Jesus Christ was at DOOM

# ? May 30, 2021 23:15

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# ? Apr 30, 2024 04:24

Finger Prince

Moses couldn't play Skyrim as anything but stealth archer unless he enabled god mode in the console.

# ? May 30, 2021 23:17

Queen-Of-Hearts: "I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"

Helen Keller Keller was terrible at Mario Paint, but outstanding at DDR.

# ? May 30, 2021 23:23

FactsAreUseless

I cannot tell a lie. I did not get past 2-1 in Super Mario Bros.

edit: Ich bin ein Spawncamper

# ? May 30, 2021 23:31

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

Mao Zedong: never realized how much he sucked at Stardew Valley because there's no explicit fail state.

# ? May 31, 2021 01:16

Queen-Of-Hearts: "I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"

Nietzsche played a holy paladin in 2v2 arena

# ? May 31, 2021 01:20

nut

Picasso and an Oculus rift

# ? May 31, 2021 01:47

biosterous

gandhi was really bad at masters of orion, but he was decent at masters of orion 2

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? May 31, 2021 02:24

ChubbyChecker

Six-Of-Hearts posted:

Helen Keller Keller was terrible at Mario Paint, but outstanding at DDR.

# ? May 31, 2021 11:55

Escape From Noise

Winston Churchill would get too flustered by a female workforce to play Ms. Pac-Man.

# ? May 31, 2021 12:17

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

they say that hannibal was great at winning battles, but absolutely sucked on the strategic map in total war

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# ? May 31, 2021 17:44

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

julius caesar never got the hang of the eponymous series

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# ? May 31, 2021 17:56

Queen-Of-Hearts: "I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"

Benedict Arnold was terrible at Risk.

:h: sig by Prof. Crocodile :h:
:byodame: BYOB spells: Mutually Assured Kindness

# ? May 31, 2021 18:52

Heather Papps: hello friend

Nosfereefer posted:

julius caesar never got the hang of the eponymous series

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? May 31, 2021 23:29

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

us history likes to gloss over this fact; but abraham lincoln was totally rubbish at mario kart 64

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# ? May 31, 2021 23:40

Heather Papps: hello friend

this isn't talked about a lot because george hw bush sucked for other reasons but the cold war ended because he was loving amazing at street fighter 2 and would challenge other world leaders to settle diplomacy disputes.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? May 31, 2021 23:43

Finger Prince

Julius Caesar rage quits Civilization every time he loses a unit to maurading barbarians.

# ? May 31, 2021 23:43

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

joseph stalin repeatedly got kicked from among us matches for spamming the chat w/ random accusations

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# ? May 31, 2021 23:50

Finger Prince

Mikhail Gorbachev was really good at Tetris, but he fuckin sucked at Dr. Mario.

# ? May 31, 2021 23:52

Finger Prince

Patton. Famous general. Legendary strategist. Never plays the loving objective.

# ? Jun 1, 2021 00:04

Heather Papps: hello friend

i've seen a lot of poo poo in my days of tf2 but watching a medic botch an uber and then scream on mic "I'M JUSTIN TRUDEAU IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU AND HAVE FUN PLAYING WITH YOU" shocked even me

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Jun 1, 2021 00:27

Queen-Of-Hearts: "I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"

Hitler played Dark Angels. Poorly.

:h: sig by Prof. Crocodile :h:
:byodame: BYOB spells: Mutually Assured Kindness

# ? Jun 1, 2021 00:38

Buttchocks: No, I like my hat, thanks.

St. Benedict couldn't get past the first level of Pac-Man, unless it was a feast day.

# ? Jun 1, 2021 00:38

super sweet best pal

Lief Erikson refused to play Lost Vikings, personally insulted by the title.

# ? Jun 1, 2021 00:55

biosterous

Heather Papps posted:

i've seen a lot of poo poo in my days of tf2 but watching a medic botch an uber and then scream on mic "I'M JUSTIN TRUDEAU IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU AND HAVE FUN PLAYING WITH YOU" shocked even me

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Jun 1, 2021 01:04

Jaguars!

Joseph McCarthy ironically preferred to play Soviets, surrounding his war factory and radar dome with dozens of guard dogs.

# ? Jun 2, 2021 04:01

snergle: A kind little mouse!

genghis khan was the master of rpgs but he just skiped the dialogue and story he only wanted to see numbers going up.

# ? Jun 4, 2021 05:20

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

Phineas Gage was awesome at Clay Fighter 2 but he lacked sportsmanship

# ? Jun 4, 2021 05:25

FutonForensic

mansa musa laughing in mockery as i try to get him to play "you need a budget"

# ? Jun 4, 2021 13:58

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

i could take on almost any historical figure in unreal tournament except for maybe lyudmila pavilchenko

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig
and thank u nesamdoom for the good loops

# ? Jun 4, 2021 14:00

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

Napoleon Bonaparte always blobs in EUIV like a madman until 1812 when it all falls apart

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Jun 4, 2021 14:25

Gene Hackman Fan: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Finger Prince posted:

Mikhail Gorbachev was really good at Tetris, but he fuckin sucked at Dr. Mario.

there was his attempt to set the world record at reactor in 1986, but according to twin galaxies as well as the UN Nuclear Regulatory Commission, it went horribly wrong.

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# ? Jun 4, 2021 16:43

Gene Hackman Fan: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

st francis of assisi, however, was obsessed with animal crossing

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# ? Jun 4, 2021 16:44

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

prepuce repurposed posted:

Phineas Gage was awesome at Clay Fighter 2 but he lacked sportsmanship

# ? Jun 4, 2021 17:17

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

charles II of spain, however, was a pro at basically every game

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# ? Jun 4, 2021 17:36

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

Nosfereefer posted:

charles II of spain, however, was a pro at basically every game

Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor, Archduke of Austria, King of Spain, Lord of the Netherlands, and Duke of Burgundy beat every single game, got tired of video games, and started reading books in a monastery instead

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Jun 4, 2021 18:56

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

Kaiser Schnitzel posted:

Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor, Archduke of Austria, King of Spain, Lord of the Netherlands, and Duke of Burgundy beat every single game, got tired of video games, and started reading books in a monastery instead

well maybe if he wasn't such a dweeb and played less starcraft and did more statecraft, the habsburg super-empire might not have split up

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# ? Jun 4, 2021 20:42

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

could churchill hit an airshot? i seriously doubt it

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig
and thank u nesamdoom for the good loops

# ? Jun 4, 2021 20:47

watho: The real world will, again tomorrow, function and run without me.

do you think for a second that reagan could pull off a shock combo? i would loving pulverize him

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BigClutteredJoey-mobile.mp4
thank u vanisher for the sig
and thank u nesamdoom for the good loops

# ? Jun 4, 2021 20:55

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# ? Apr 30, 2024 04:24

Queen-Of-Hearts: "I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"

Queen Liz II is a beer-pong phenom. Absolutely chaos dunks on her grandsons.

# ? Jun 4, 2021 21:02

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Historical Figures and the Video Games they were Bad at

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