Let's try to avoid a fate worse than death in Plundered Hearts (redux)

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Seyser Koze: Dec 15, 2013; Mucho Mucho; Nap Ghost

Let's Try to Avoid a Fate Worse Than Death in Plundered Hearts

quote:

>SHOOT THE PIRATE
Trembling, you fire the heavy arquebus. You hear its loud report over the
roaring wind, yet the dark figure still approaches. The gun falls from your
nerveless hands.
"You won't kill me," he says, stepping over the weapon. "Not when I am the
only protection you have from Jean Lafond."
Chestnut hair, tousled by the wind, frames the tanned oval of his face. Lips
curving, his eyes rake over your inadequately dressed body, the damp chemise
clinging to your legs and heaving bosom, your gleaming hair. You are intensely
aware of the strength of his hard seaworn body, of the deep sea blue of his
eyes. And then his mouth is on yours, lips parted, demanding, and you arch into
his kiss...
He presses you against him, head bent. "But who, my dear," he whispers into
your hair, "will protect you from me?"

[Press RETURN or ENTER to begin.]

Infocom posted:

In the 17th century, the seas are as wild as the untamed heart of a young woman. But when you set out on the schooner Lafond Deux, bound for the West Indies, your thoughts are only of your ailing father who awaits your care. Little do you know that your innocent journey will soon turn to dangerous adventure.
You barely survive an encounter with pirates, whose plans for you include a fate worse than death. The explosives, the rocky reefs, the vicious crocodile - all these are obstacles which you must overcome with cunning and agility. True, it's not easy; but at least you can control your fate. What you cannot control is much more dangerous: your passion for Nicholas Jamison, the handsome pirate captain.

Tall and lean, with azure eyes that penetrate deep into your soul, he makes your blood quicken despite his unsavory past. When you're in his arms, swirling around the dance floor or secluded in the flowered depths of the gazebo, you are apt to forget your mission.

But don't dally too long with Nick. For your father is waiting, and on his rescue lies the fate of more than one man. Prepare for adventure on the high seas, lass. You'll need every bit of pluck you can muster.

In Plundered Hearts, Infocom brings your wildest fantasies to life. You'll throll to spine-tingling peril, heart-pounding romance, and challenging predicaments. To create this exotic adventure, author Amy Briggs read hundreds of romance novels, researched 17th century costumes and ships, and was wooed by a dashing pirate.

Published by Infocom in 1987, Plundered Hearts was author/developer Amy Briggs' first game for the interactive fiction giant. As the first and only entry in the company's library to have the "romance" classification, Plundered adopted a more scripted, story-heavy approach than their other more exploration-focused titles. It was pretty ambitious for the time, and from what I can find the game was fairly well-received.

Unfortunately, by this point Infocom was on its way out; the company closed its doors two years later and Plundered ended up being one of its last releases. Amy Briggs moved from Infocom to 3M, and as far as I know, has done nothing more in the gaming field since. So it goes.

I started LPing this a few years ago and ended up having to stop due to personal reasons, but with things a little more stable in my life right now, hopefully we can get all the way through it this time around. Also I finally found a WinFrotz-compatible version of the game, making transcription easier. I'll shoot for at least one update a day, and we'll see how long that lasts.

:frogsiren:

CONTENT WARNING :frogsiren:

In this game, Infocom's traditional **** You have died **** game-over message is supplemented by a new one:

**** You have suffered a fate worse than death ****

...Which is to say that we're going to get raped a lot. From what I can recollect the descriptions are all brief and discreetly fade to black right away, but I'm just going to put that out there immediately so nobody gets any nasty surprises.

# ? Jun 14, 2021 18:22

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# ? May 4, 2024 23:35

Seyser Koze: Dec 15, 2013; Mucho Mucho; Nap Ghost

The game starts us off with a letter (included separately in the game packaging, as was Infocom's common practice):

quote:

St. Sinistra, 5 January
Dimsford House, London

Honored Lady,
It pleases Me that You have the Wit and Gumption not to feel obligated to wait on your Father�s Permission to reply to my Letters. Of course He could not refuse You the Opportunity of writing to Myself, his new Friend and Governor.

While I customarily describe the Beauty of my little Kingdom, this Time I have less than good News to impart. Your Father has been taken ill of a wasting tropical Disease. My own Surgeon has reviewed his Condition and predicts that without loving Encouragement, He may not survive more than a few Months.

Dimsford, too ill to write Himself, begged Me to inform You, his only Daughter, of his Situation. With due Respect, I suggest that You take ship to St. Sinistra by the first Opportunity. I am convinced that Sight of your beloved Face will dissuade your Father from his Melancholia.

I have instructed Capt. Bartholomew Davis, of my Flagship Lafond Deux, to deliver You to my grateful Charge; He should arrive in London directly after You receive this Missive. Pray accept this Banknote to defray the Cost of a new Wardrobe; any Guest of Mine must be suitably dressed. Trusting that your Voyage will be comfortable, I am,

Your most sovereign Lord,
Governor of St. Sinistra,
Jean Lafond

So there we go. A sick dad, a suspiciously French governor who names his flagship after himself and rules an island called St. Sinistra, and a long journey by sea. Hopefully Captain Davis is trustworthy.

Let's get started, shall we?

quote:

PLUNDERED HEARTS
Infocom interactive fiction
Copyright (c) 1987 by Infocom, Inc. All rights reserved.
PLUNDERED HEARTS is a trademark of Infocom, Inc.
Release 26 / Serial number ��

LATE ONE SPRING NIGHT IN THE WEST INDIES...

A crash overhead! Pirates are boarding the Lafond Deux! The first mate
hurries you into Captain Davis's cabin.
"Good, you brought the girl," Davis smirks. "She'll keep the pirates busy.
She was only a tool of Lafond's, anyway. Let me just find that cof--" A man on
deck screams in agony and Davis starts. "Let's go." The captain thrusts you on
the bed and walks out, locking the door.
His laugh echoes. "Best get comfortable, girl. You're likely to be there for
the rest of your life."

Cabin, on the bed
You are in an officer's cabin, lit by the firelight glowing through a
porthole. A door is to starboard. Except for the built-in bed, the room seems to
have been emptied thoroughly, if hurriedly.

So much for Davis doing anything for us. That's downright ungentlemanly.

By the sounds of things, we don't have any time to spare. We'd better take stock of things - and quickly.

quote:

>get up
You get out of the bed.

>i
You have your reticule (hanging from your wrist). It seems that your reticule
contains smelling salts and a banknote. You are wearing your kid slippers, a
linen chemise and a cotton frock.

A reticule is a little pouch for carrying things. Infocom actually included a felt pouch in the game materials (as well as a copy of the banknote, which we'll be getting to later).

Note also the list of what we're wearing - most of Infocom's games don't bother cataloguing your clothing.

For now, we'd better figure out how to get out of here. It sounded like Davis locked the door, but maybe...

quote:

>open door
It appears to be locked.

Well, it was worth a shot. How about the porthole?

quote:

>look out porthole
Through the porthole you see the bow of the pirate ship bucking in the high
seas, lit by the fires burning on deck. It is called the "Helena Louise." Odd,
that was your mother's name.
"Aaieeee!" echoes a scream, followed by several grunts and thumps.

Huh. Also, somebody's not having a good time up top.

All right, so we're locked in here, nothing but the bed... what can we do? Davis sounded like he was looking for something, but the room is pretty short on hiding places.

quote:

>look under bed
You can see a coffer under the bed.
Suddenly, the ship lurches to one side, throwing you off balance. The coffer
bumps against your foot.

Ah-ha! Maybe there's something in here we can use!

quote:

>get coffer
Taken.

>open it
It's quite locked.

Drat.

quote:

>break porthole with coffer
It doesn't fit through the porthole.
With a creak and a crash, somewhere a mast falls to the deck.

Double drat. We're running out of options here...

quote:

>hide under bed
You can't hide there.

quote:

Crash! You whirl around to see the door shatter, kicked by a hulking man, his
twisted visage blackened with soot and blood. "Me name's Andy Crulley, and
ladies learn to love me," sniggers the pirate.

Uh-oh.

# ? Jun 14, 2021 18:23

bbcisdabomb: Jan 15, 2008; SHEESH

With a death message like that, we need to establish something real quick: Can we kick this man in the groin?

Probably not, but I'm hoping the correct answer to every handsy man is a quick shot to the jimmies.

# ? Jun 14, 2021 22:26

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Agreed >Kick man in Groin

# ? Jun 14, 2021 23:36

Seyser Koze: Dec 15, 2013; Mucho Mucho; Nap Ghost

bbcisdabomb posted:

With a death message like that, we need to establish something real quick: Can we kick this man in the groin?

Probably not, but I'm hoping the correct answer to every handsy man is a quick shot to the jimmies.

I certainly hope so, because if not, we're in trouble!

quote:

>kick pirate in groin
[I don't know the word "groin."]
>kick pirate in balls
[I don't know the word "balls."]
>kick pirate in junk
[I don't know the word "junk."]
>kick pirate in jimmies
[I don't know the word "jimmies."]
>kick pirate between legs
[I don't know the word "between."]

Well, I'm all out of ideas. Looks like we're helpless!

quote:

>look at pirate
The pirate's unsavory face is crisscrossed with scars, and those not from
shaving nicks, to judge by his scruffy beard. A hook replaces one of his hands
at the end of a torn black sleeve.
"Avast me, but ain't ye a beauty," sniggers the pirate. His breath is heavy
with rum.

>scream
"Help me!" you cry, hoping someone will help you.
"They calls me Andy, but I'm really randy," sniggers the pirate.

That's very clever, Andy. Ha ha. Ha...

quote:

Crulley drags you, despite your resistance, towards him. Then suddenly he
grunts, stiffens and slumps into your arms. Stunned, Crulley collapses at your
feet, his eyes rolling.

Huh? Are... are we saved?

quote:

A tall form blocks the shattered door, one fist still raised from striking
your attacker. You catch a glimpse of the hard masculinity of his broad
shoulders, the implied power in the scar that etches the stranger's jaw, and
feel tremors course through your veins. Then you realize how ragged are his
shirt, patched breeches and high boots. Intuitively, you understand -- he is the
dreaded Falcon, scourge of the sea! Alas, your fate is sealed. Resigned, you
meet his sea-blue eyes.

I guess we're not. But at least we've traded up to being menaced by a higher class of villain.

quote:

To your surprise, the stranger bows. "Well met, my lady." His accent is
cultured, his smile vibrant. "I am Captain Nicholas Jamison, known in these
waters as 'The Falcon'. Your father has sent me." He chuckles at your glare of
distrust. "Yes, you are like your sire. You needn't believe me untried -- I
carry this." He hands you a missive.

Or... maybe we are?

quote:

>read missive
The missive is in dear Papa's handwriting:

"Dearest child,
You are in gravest danger! Lafond is a viper with the smile of a saint, my
most particular enemy. I have only now learned the depth of his deception.
Should Lafond get you in his power... It is unspeakable!
I have sided with Nicholas Jamison, a sea captain and a gentleman, whose
circumstances have driven him to extreme measures, even branding him a pirate.
Nevertheless, I trust him and so may you.
You will be safe -- but there is another for whom I fear! My horse is waiting
and I ride to her rescue. Jamison will deliver this to you. Should anything
happen to me, you must rely on him. I remain, with love, your father."

All right, I guess that will have to be good enough. I'm sure a pirate would never forge a signature.

quote:

The pirate captain glances around the empty room, then notices the coffer in
your arms. "Davis's safety box -- my men were hoping I'd find it." He takes it
and nudges the unconscious man on the floor, "I wonder how Crulley knew you were
here? Just his bad luck? He'll be flogged when he wakes."
The pirate bows. "My lady, may I offer my protection and my ship until your
father is free?"

I don't see how we have much choice in the matter. Even if Davis somehow survives this, I doubt he has anything pleasant in store for us either.

quote:

>yes
You nod tentatively.
He chuckles. "Brave lady, to trust a stranger -- and a pirate. Who knows,
perhaps I forged your father's signature? Keep by my side as we go to my ship --
few sailors respect a lady's dignity." He helps you through the door.

Don't copy my commentary, Jamison!

quote:

Deck
The deck is an avalanche of noise and blood. Lit by roaring fires,
silhouetted forms crash swords, dancing around the screaming wounded.
Out of the smoke staggers Davis, tugging a bloodied knife from the back of a
pirate. Davis's eyes gleam white from a face blackened and bloody, his lips dark
red as if he has been drinking blood. He turns to face you.

Hi, Davis! You don't mind if I leave without you, do you?

quote:

>look at davis
Davis is ugly with fear.
Davis leaps across the deck to your side, "Free me or she dies!" he yells,
jabbing a knife up to your throat. In one smooth motion, Captain Jamison draws
his rapier, pulls you free and stabs. Davis slumps into a bloody heap.

Bye, Davis.

quote:

Swooning, you fall into the Falcon's arms. You are dimly aware of being
carried to the other ship, down a short flight of stairs, and laid gently on a
soft bed. When you gather strength to look around, the Falcon has left you in
peace.
You remain confined to this room, a large cupboard blocking the door. Meals
are brought by a peg-legged old man and eaten in silence. Of your handsome
rescuer you see nothing. Slowly the days pass.

Swoon count: 1

# ? Jun 15, 2021 00:38

Seyser Koze: Dec 15, 2013; Mucho Mucho; Nap Ghost

Short as it is, there are still a couple little branches in the game's opening scene.

The coffer - or rather, its contents - will be important later. Thankfully, unlike some other adventure games, this one won't doom you to failure for not picking up an item at the very beginning:

quote:

>z
Time passes...
Suddenly, the ship lurches to one side, throwing you off balance. A coffer
slides from under the bed and bumps against your foot.

And even if you try to ignore it, Jamison picks it up on his own.

quote:

The pirate captain glances around the empty room, then notices the coffer.
"Davis's safety box -- my men were hoping I'd find it." He takes it and nudges
the unconscious man on the floor, "I wonder how Crulley knew you were here? Just
his bad luck? He'll be flogged when he wakes."

You also have the "option" of refusing Jamison's help...

quote:

The pirate bows. "My lady, may I offer my protection and my ship until your
father is free?"

>no
"No!" you say pertly.
He sighs, "You share your father's stubborn streak. I wished not to do this."
He leaps to your side, hauling you up onto his shoulder, and carries you out of
the room. Captain Jamison sets you on your feet again on the horror of the deck.

...Which goes about as well for you as you'd expect. This is also what he does if you don't answer him for a couple turns.

On the subject of the other NPC in this scene, there's a little "fun" we can get up to with Crulley.

quote:

>kiss andy
"Wi' a wannion! I likes me ladies forward!"

Yuck. Also I have no idea what he just said.

We can also ask him about his other distinguishing feature...

quote:

>ask andy about hook
He snarls at the memory, "'Twere bit off by a monster crocodile."

Now, the game may not let us kick Crulley in the junk properly, but that doesn't mean we're defenseless. We have a convenient heavy object right here, after all.

quote:

>hit crulley
With all your strength you whack the pirate over the head with the coffer.
The pirate stumbles, dizzy. "Avast me, but ain't ye a beauty," slurs the
pirate. His breath is heavy with rum.

>g
With all your strength you whack the pirate over the head with the coffer.
Stunned, Crulley collapses at your feet, his eyes rolling.

You have to hit him twice, so if you waste any time with non-whacking-related activities, you still have to be rescued. On the bright side, the game does acknowledge your initiative here.

quote:

The door creaks slightly as a tall form bends through its smashed remains.
"You seem to have this situation well in hand," timbers a well-bred voice.

Of course, the rest of the scene still plays out the same way, even if we try to make it go otherwise.

quote:

>hit crulley
It is thoroughly unladylike to hit a man when he's down!

>hit jamison
"Please, I'm not trying to hurt you," the stranger says, casually deflecting the
blow.

And that's about it for the intro... that said, this unconscious pirate is a bit unsightly. We really should tidy up after ourselves.

quote:

>put crulley under bed
You do so, but the ship rolls to one side and Crulley rolls out.

...Wait. You wouldn't let me hide under there, but Crulley can fit? I need to revise my mental image of our heroine.

quote:

>put myself under bed
You knock your brow against the bed as you attempt this.

(Of course "the ship rolls to one side and X rolls out" is the generic message for putting something under the bed, and it's probably there mainly to stop you from re-hiding the coffer. On the other hand, you can get some... unusual effects here.)

quote:

>put head under bed
You do so, but the ship rolls to one side and your head rolls out.
"Aaieeee!" echoes a scream, followed by several grunts and thumps.

# ? Jun 16, 2021 02:16

Seyser Koze: Dec 15, 2013; Mucho Mucho; Nap Ghost

All right, where were we?

quote:

Swooning, you fall into the Falcon's arms. You are dimly aware of being
carried to the other ship, down a short flight of stairs, and laid gently on a
soft bed. When you gather strength to look around, the Falcon has left you in
peace.
You remain confined to this room, a large cupboard blocking the door. Meals
are brought by a peg-legged old man and eaten in silence. Of your handsome
rescuer you see nothing. Slowly the days pass.

Oh, right. Pirate ship.

quote:

TWO DAYS LATER...

You blear awake from a bored nap, focusing on something shiny. You discern it
to be a new ring, on a strong hand in the act of tying a ribbon onto a rapier.
The man with the rapier and the ring turns, "Sorry, I tried not to wake you."
You sit up as if the bed had caught fire, for this is the Falcon, changed from
his rags to a finery all red velvet and white lace -- and in your presence!

Eek!

quote:

Captain's Quarters, on the bed
You are in the captain's quarters of the Helena Louise, where you have been
trapped these past days since your "rescue" from the Lafond Deux. The room has a
masculine air, with ebony panelling, a large messy table, and a rumpled bed
(upon which you lie). A curtain masks the forward exit and gilded woodwork
decorates the sill of the tall window looking aft.

Our home away from home, I guess. Let's see what the game has to say about our rescuer/captor.

quote:

>look at falcon
Jamison is finely dressed, in red velvet coat and full breeches, with a long
gold embroidered vest and waterfalls of white lace at his neck, wrists and
boottops. His rapier is bedecked with a fringed gold ribbon. He wears no wig,
his unpowdered hair tied neatly at the back of his neck.

He does cut a dashing figure, I'll give him that. His description doesn't acknowledge the ring despite it being pointed out in the earlier narration.

quote:

look at ring
Made of copper, the new ring has a curious design of gargoyles, curled tongues
extended, on its flat face, with "Sal Sapit Omnia" engraved at the bottom.

Some light googling suggests that this is the motto ("salt savours all"), and likely the crest, of the Worshipful Company of Salters, a London trade guild:

But what could that have to do with Jamison?

quote:

"We have anchored off St. Sinistra," says Captain Jamison, "and I must look
like a guest at Lafond's dance tonight. I will find and free your father, and
then finally wreak my revenge on Lafond." He half draws his rapier from its
scabbard.

And he's going to leave us stuck in here, no doubt. We can assume Lafond had something to do with our father's troubles, which makes him a target for our revenge, too...

quote:

>ask jamison about lafond
"I abhor the fiend." He clenches a fist.

"I am sorry you have been confined down here, but I don't trust my lonely
crew with such beauty. Crulley isn't the only man aboard with few principles."
He smiles at you, eyes lingering, and takes your hand. You feel your color
rising. "If anything goes wrong, turn to Cookie. He is quite deaf, but capable.
He'll see you through."

Wait. How am I supposed to talk to Cookie without encountering the rest of the crew? I don't think you thought this through, Jamison!

quote:

>ask jamison about father
"I admire and respect your father greatly."

His look darkens. "You should know why I hate Lafond: Some years ago, as my
brother and his bride sailed to a new life in Virginia, pirates struck. Their
ship was boarded, looted and burned, the women taken, never to be seen again. A
sailor, the one survivor, watched as a man of Lafond's description shot my
brother in the back as he tried to save the women. Lafond has now bought
respectability, but he shall never buy peace." Jamison straightens resolutely,
bows, and departs.

And like that, we're alone again, left with just an early outline of our hero and villain - Jamison, a man of formerly good name turned to piracy, and Lafond, a former pirate who wriggled his way into power and authority.

Anyway, we could just wait for Jamison to finish the game for us, but that'd get boring pretty quick. Let's have a look around!

quote:

>get up
You get out of the bed.

>l
Captain's Quarters
The room has a masculine air, with ebony panelling, a large messy table, and
a rumpled bed. A curtain masks the forward exit and gilded woodwork decorates
the sill of the tall window looking aft.

>look out window
The moon beckons across the lagoon to St. Sinistra. Moored to the stern is a
skiff.

>look at st sinistra
St. Sinistra is blessed with lush tropical beauty, jungle besieging the mansion atop the southern cliffs.

Yup, it's the Caribbean.

The game pointed out the "messy table" as an example of the room's "masculinity." Anything of interest?

quote:

>look at table
You have no need for that, milady.

Nope. Screw this noise, we're going exploring.

quote:

>open curtain
You pull the cloth aside momentarily. Behind it, a large cupboard mostly blocks
the doorway.

>push cupboard
The large cupboard is not flush against the doorsill. You might be able to
squeeze past it.

We'd better be able to squeeze past it, or this is going to be a short game...

quote:

>n
The large cupboard is not flush against the doorsill. You squeeze through the
opening between cupboard and wall.

Squeeeeeeeeeeeze!

quote:

Landing
You are on the landing of a steep stairway heading up and down. A large
cupboard against the aft wall blocks the doorway to the captain's quarters.

This must be a really cramped landing. Anything inside the cupboard?

quote:

>open cupboard
Opened. It is a dark messy bed, set entirely within and filling the large
cupboard. A cabin boy must sleep here when Jamison isn't using it. Kicked into a
far corner is a pile of clothes.

Meh.

quote:

You hear the door being unbarred, and turn to see Captain Jamison. "Hello!
How did you escape? Don't stutter, I won't lock you up again -- you are safe as
long as you remain below-decks. I came down to give you this -- my allotment
from the coffer." He nods at the box in his arms.

Jamison starts to pin a jewelled brooch on your clothes, but, "Devil take it,
the clasp is broken. I'll have it repaired." He folds the pretty thing into your
hand. "And I meant to reassure you that if the men suddenly abandon ship, they
are off to help me. Rodney will stay behind with you." He hands the coffer to
you. "Please return this to my quarters for me, will you?" and walks swiftly up
the stairs to the deck, barring the door a moment later.

You can wait in the bedroom for Jamison back and give you this, but you'll miss his reaction.

quote:

>look at brooch
All diamonds winking fire, tears of sapphire and crushed rubies in an oval
setting, it is a pity that the clasp of the jewelled brooch has broken. The gold
pin at the back swings about uselessly.

Seems a bit ostentatious for us, to be honest. Let's see what else is around...

quote:

>up
The door at the top of the stairs won't open.

No surprises there. :argh:

quote:

>d
Aft Hold
This is a gloomy, damp area at the bottom of the Helena Louise. To the fore
there seems to be a little more light, or you can climb up some steep stairs.

It's a hold. It's aft. Hence the name. Moving on...

quote:

>n
You hear a scuffling noise ahead, and scraping up near the ceiling. You would
think it was caused by rats, but for the definite curse you heard before all the
movement.

Um. Jamison?

quote:

Hold
Steep stairs lead up in the dimness to a canvas hatch above. Rats'
scratchings counterpoint the lullaby of bilge water sloshing in the bulkheads,
punctuated by footsteps slapping the deck overhead. You may move fore or aft.
Behind a high fence, decorated by a sign, are stacked the food and ammunition
supplies; casks of rum, water, flour and salt meat interspersed with kegs of
gunpowder and shot. A closed gate is the only way in.

You gradually notice a familiar, worrying smell, sniff, and identify it as
smoke. A tiny glow of fire creeps across a stretch of floor -- inside the cage
full of ammunition.

Um, Jamison!?

quote:

>look up
Completely common looking ceiling.

No sign of our mystery firelighter.

quote:

>open cage
You'll have to do that to the gate in the fence.

>open gate
It's quite locked.

>blow out fire
You aren't anywhere near the fuse!

This isn't good. Maybe there's something we can use to put out the fire down here?

quote:

>n
Crew's Quarters
The crew sleeps, in shifts, in this cramped space under the forecastle. A
breeze blows in on a moonbeam through a grate in the ceiling. A low doorsill is
abaft.
This area must also serve as sickroom. Strewn about the floor are various
powders and spills of malodorous potions. In one corner, a large blood stain
indicates an amputation; in another is the smear of a leech, dropped off a
bloodletting.
A small bottle has been dropped nearby.
A chipped piece of mirror sits propped on a shoulder-high timber.

Bottles hold liquids. It seems like a long shot, but...

quote:

>get all
leather bottle: Taken.
bit of mirror: Taken.

"I gotta let Lafond know 'e's comin'." Crulley stands on deck above, talking
to himself, his voice floating down through a grate in the ceiling. "First, I do
in the mates aboard-ship, with this and t'other mischief," he grunts, and you
hear a snapping noise, like a taut rope being cut. "Now to warn the boss and
collect me pay. Off I go, har." He dives into the sea.

This definitely isn't good.

# ? Jun 17, 2021 02:30

Maigius: Jun 29, 2013

*Gasp* That scoundrel Crulley!

IF that doesn't stick to the usual genres is interesting.

# ? Jun 17, 2021 06:12

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Go to the cupboard, get clothes and throw clothes onto fire?

# ? Jun 17, 2021 11:47

Seyser Koze: Dec 15, 2013; Mucho Mucho; Nap Ghost

All right, looks like it's going to be up to us to save the ship.

quote:

>s
Hold
A tiny glow of fire creeps across a stretch of floor -- inside the cage full
of ammunition.

>inventory
You have a bit of mirror, a leather bottle, a coffer, a jewelled brooch, a
missive and your reticule (hanging from your wrist). It seems that your reticule
contains smelling salts and a banknote. You are wearing your kid slippers, a
linen chemise and a cotton frock.

Let's try the bottle first.

quote:

>open bottle
This is a squeezable bottle. You don't need to open or close it.

Oh, okay then.

quote:

>squeeze bottle on fire
You squeeze three colorless drops into the fuse.

>empty bottle onto fire
But the leather bottle isn't open.

You know, maybe we should actually check what's in the bottle first. Wouldn't it be funny if it turned out the bottle was full of oil or something?

quote:

>examine bottle
It's a small leather bottle, with a tiny label on one side. It appears to be
almost empty.

>read label
The label reads, "Laudanum drops. Squeeze into a glass of wine to sleep free of
pain and mental anguish."

Good thing we checked! It'd be a shame to waste this.

quote:

>drink bottle
You can't drink a leather bottle!

>squeeze bottle into mouth
A lady is trained to eat anything, but this is absurd.

Aww. I could've sworn there was a way to dose ourselves and sleep through the ship exploding, but if there is, I'm not seeing it now.

All right, the bottle's out. There has to be something we can do!

Slaan posted:

Go to the cupboard, get clothes and throw clothes onto fire?

As good an idea as any!

quote:

>s
Aft Hold

>u
Landing
It seems that the large cupboard contains a pile of clothes.

>get clothes
You can't reach the pile of clothes.

Oh, it's one of those cupboards that's also a room. You know.

quote:

>enter cupboard
Sleeping Cupboard
The bed is softer than it looks, plumped up with fresh straw. A soft, if
somewhat cramped, bunk for the tall bulk of Jamison. The cupboard opens to the
fore.
Kicked into a far corner is a pile of clothes.

>get clothes
You pick up the pile of clothes. It separates into a pair of breeches and a
shirt.

Two clothings for the price of one! Score!

Back to the hold...

quote:

>n
Hold
A tiny glow of fire creeps across a stretch of floor -- inside the cage full
of ammunition.

>throw breeches onto fuse
You missed.

quote:

>throw breeches at fire
You're not holding the breeches.

>throw shirt at fire
You aren't anywhere near the fuse!

>throw shirt onto fire
You missed.

quote:

>l
Hold
Steep stairs lead up in the dimness to a canvas hatch above. Rats'
scratchings counterpoint the lullaby of bilge water sloshing in the bulkheads,
punctuated by footsteps slapping the deck overhead. You may move fore or aft.
Behind a high fence, decorated by a sign, are stacked the food and ammunition
supplies; casks of rum, water, flour and salt meat interspersed with kegs of
gunpowder and shot. A closed gate is the only way in.
A tiny glow of fire creeps across a stretch of floor -- inside the cage full
of ammunition.
You can see a shirt and breeches here.

>get all
shirt: Taken.
breeches: Taken.
keg: You can't reach the food and ammunition supplies.

Well, smothering the fire didn't work. For the record, it is supposed to be possible to toss things into the cage:

quote:

>examine cage
The fence is made of thick, finely woven wire mesh, uncuttable and unclimbable. Except for a gap of about 6 inches over the closed gate, the cage is secure from ceiling to damp floorboards.

Just not these things, apparently.

Maybe there was something in the captain's quarters that we overlooked?

quote:

>s
You squeeze through the opening between cupboard and wall.

Captain's Quarters
Your eyes are drawn to a flicker of light off the sea. Squinting, you see a
man swimming to shore, moonlight flashing off his hook.

Crulley!

quote:

>look at man
You can't see any man here.

But... you just... :psyduck:

quote:

The end of a rope ladder blows past the window.

...Huh. Well, it's something.

quote:

>open window
These windows don't open.
The end of a rope ladder blows past the window.

>break window
And how do you propose to do that?

We do have one heavy object in our possession. But first...

quote:

>open coffer
Opening the coffer reveals an invitation.

>get invitation
Taken.
The end of a rope ladder blows past the window.

>read invitation
The invitation is addressed to "Davis":

In Honor of Jean Lafond,
recently proclaimed
Governor of St. Sinistra
A Dance at his Mansion
Ananas Road, St. Sinistra
Formal Dress and Invitation Required.

A ball! You haven't been to a ball in months!

Squee!

No, wait. Not getting blown up takes priority. Heave-ho!

quote:

>throw coffer at window
You hurl the coffer through the window, sending it and a shower of glass into
the sea. The ledge now looks deep enough to sit upon.
The end of a rope ladder blows past the window.

So satisfying to break something every once in a while, don't you agree?

quote:

>sit on ledge
You climb onto the ledge. The ladder drifts within reach.

>climb ladder
You put everything in your reticule and reach out for the ladder and over-
balance, tumbling from your perch. Your hand closes on a slimy hemp rung as you
fly out over the waves, clinging tenuously, feet free, to the ladder.

On the Ladder
You are clinging to a slimy ladder, tied to a rail of the poop deck above
you. Not far from your feet, waves kiss the stern of the ship.

>u
In these clothes? You jest.
All air is driven out of you as the ladder slams into the stern.

Oh right, long skirts, not conducive to climbing ladders. My mistake.

quote:

>in
You pull yourself over the ledge, tumbling head over heels into Jamison's
quarters.

Captain's Quarters

>strip
You strip down to your chemise.

An extremely useful command, given that when you're playing blind, you're probably going to be changing back and forth between outfits a few times.

quote:

>wear breeches
You tuck the linen chemise into the pants. You look a little fat, but now you
can move freely.
Bswish! Waves smash against the reefs nearby.

>wear shirt
It fits loosely, masking your figure.

Disguise complete! Let's try this again...

quote:

>sit on ledge
You climb onto the ledge. The ladder drifts within reach.

>climb ladder
You put everything in your reticule and reach out for the ladder and over-
balance, tumbling from your perch. Your hand closes on a slimy hemp rung as you
fly out over the waves, clinging tenuously, feet free, to the ladder.

On the Ladder
Rebounding, the ladder twists you around to face the Helena Louise.

>up
You climb up the ladder.
The ladder swings back towards the Helena Louise.

>up
You climb up the ladder, passing the halfway point.
All air is driven out of you as the ladder slams into the stern.

>up
You climb up the ladder.
Rebounding, the ladder twists you around to face the Helena Louise.

>up
You heave yourself over the stern rail and sink breathless to the deck of the
Helena Louise.

Poop
From this platform deck you can see the whole of the two-masted ship, shadowy
forms moving about here and there. A railing protects you from stepping off the
deck in any direction but to the fore. A rope ladder is tied to the railing at
the stern of the ship.
Bswish! Waves smash against the reefs nearby.

Made it! Now at least we have the option of jumping overboard if we can't figure out how to douse that fuse.

This seems like as good a time as any to bring up that this game has points, and we've already picked up a few!

quote:

>save
Aye-aye.

>quit
In 84 turns, you have achieved a score of 4 out of 25 points. This gives you the
rank of Damsel in Distress.

Your rank changes every five points, so hopefully we'll be sporting a more dignified title before long. Plundered Hearts gives out its points one at a time, so thus far we've been rewarded for the following:

* Picking up the bottle of laudanum
* Picking up the clothes from the cupboard
* Breaking the window
* Standing upon the Poop

# ? Jun 18, 2021 01:51

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Let's go Forewards

# ? Jun 18, 2021 04:17

Seyser Koze: Dec 15, 2013; Mucho Mucho; Nap Ghost

All right, I guess I didn't leave us with much in the way of options, did I.

quote:

>n
Quarterdeck
No torches are lit, or needed on this moonlit night, except in the deep
shadows cast by the huge navigation wheel. Men move about to the fore, talking
quietly. Under the stairs aft to the poop is a barred door.
Bswish! Waves smash against the reefs nearby.
Abaft the wheel sits a large pyramid of casks, held in place by a heavy rope.
Cannon line the deck, aimed at open sea and the island.

Cannons! Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

quote:

>fire cannon
Firing cannon is not in the repertoire of well-bred young ladies.

All right, fine. We'll just look at things like a good little girl.

quote:

>examine cannon
Huge, old and blackened, these cannon have seen many battles.

>examine casks
Lying on their sides, the casks are stacked in a rather shaky pyramid: perhaps
that's why someone has tied the rope about them. A cask on one corner has lost
its lid. "Hey, boy! Get away from those. It ain't safe!" yells a sailor.

quote:

>n
Main Deck
It is a deceptively quiet evening on the ship, the pirates singing low
shanties as they repair cannon, twist ropes and sharpen daggers. The mainmast
casts an inky shadow over the canvas screening the hatch. A tangled mass of
rigging hangs down from the mast, like many rope ladders woven together.
Bswish! Waves smash against the reefs nearby.
Two large barrels stand near the stair to the foredeck.

Our disguise seems to be working well, at least. What's in these barrels?

quote:

>x barrels
The two open barrels contain rum and water, you can tell by the smell of each.
They are identical but for the dark stains around the mouth of the rum barrel.

*sniff* Yep, smells like water!

quote:

>drink rum
You take a sip and spit it out, coughing. This is much stronger than ratafia!

I think ratafia is a liqueur of some kind? In which case, yeah, it's a little bit stronger. Just a bit.

quote:

>drink water
You take a long draft. It is quite refreshing.
You are misted in the spray of waves hitting the reefs. The island is far
away.

...Wait, why are we so far from the island?

quote:

>examine reefs
A line of reefs separates the lagoon from the sea beyond.

That's, uh... running into those is bad, right?

quote:

>n
Forecastle
Higher than all but the poop deck, this end of the ship commands a good view
of the island; the "crow's nest," swinging above in the heights of the foremast,
would command a better. A tangled mass of rigging hangs down from the mast, like
many rope ladders woven together.
Imbedded in the deck is a grated air hole to the crew's quarters below. You
can go aft, or forward through a break in the ubiquitous railing.
Odors of old grease and char waft from a little shack perched behind the
mast.
You are misted in the spray of waves hitting the reefs. The island is far
away.
You can see a mooring winch here.

Looks like there's a building here we can examine, but we did say we wanted to go foreward...

quote:

>n
You creep out over the waves.

Bowsprit
Hanging on the bowsprit, your arms and legs wrapped tightly around the narrow
spar, you can't see much beside an upside-down view of the figurehead of the
Helena Louise, the barnacle encrusted main anchor dripping from its chain, and
the nauseous swelling and breaking waves over (under?) your head.
A stub of rope, roughly cut, swings rudely over the waves. The line holding
the sea anchor has been cut!

...God drat it, Crulley.

# ? Jun 19, 2021 04:21

Rogue AI Goddess: May 10, 2012; I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.
That was a joke... unless..?

Can we drop the "main" anchor somehow? If so, we probably should.

# ? Jun 19, 2021 23:46

Seyser Koze: Dec 15, 2013; Mucho Mucho; Nap Ghost

Rogue AI Goddess posted:

Can we drop the "main" anchor somehow? If so, we probably should.

That seems like it might be a good idea. Alas, we're just a poor lass from London who's never set foot on a ship before!

quote:

>s
Forecastle
You can see a mooring winch here.

Well, nothing of interest here. Let's check out that one place we skipped!

quote:

>enter shack
Galley
This tiny kitchen smells of old stew and yeast. A low door to starboard shows
the way out.
A dagger is driven into the wooden floorboards.
An entirely bald man sits here, carving into his peg leg.
The man looks you over sharply, then winks an eye. "Hullo, boy -- Sam, I'll
call you. Nervous about Cap'n? He'll come to no harm. And if there is trouble,
he only has to signal from that seaward winder of the house -- ye can see it
from the crow's nest -- and we'll be there in a jiffy. Me and my peg are to stay
aboard and guard y--, the Cap'n's young lady."

So here's Rodney, a.k.a. Cookie, the guy Jamison told us to ask if we needed something. Hopefully he can help us here.

quote:

>tell cookie about fire
"Fire for the cold? I think it be too warm..."

>tell cookie about fuse
"Lose sommat? I be always losing things. Think there be thieves aboard."

>tell cookie about gunpowder
You'll have to be more specific.

>ask cookie about fire
You have no need for that, milady.

>warn cookie about crulley
[That sentence isn't one I recognize.]

>tell cookie about crulley
It doesn't look like Cookie is interested.

>tell cookie about reefs
"We dropped the sea anchor -- no need to fear."

>ask cookie about anchor
Cookie cocks an ear, "Eh, what's that?"

Okay, evidently we're completely on our own here. In case it wasn't obvious, the mooring winch we walked past twice is for the main anchor, which we need to drop. Let's get to it.

quote:

>get dagger
Taken.

After we're suitably armed, of course.

quote:

>out
Forecastle
You can see a mooring winch here.

Now then---

quote:

The sound of splintering wood reverberates through the ship as it drifts onto
the reefs. The next few minutes last forever as havoc breaks out. Grabbing a
plank, you manage to stay afloat, but you are washed out to sea. A brig,
Portuguese by its sails, rescues you. The sailors are brown skinned and smooth,
and the first mate, the ship's and yours, is gentle. They leave you in Rio,
alone and forgotten.

*** You have suffered a fate worse than death ***

In 106 turns, you have achieved a score of 4 out of 25 points. This gives you
the rank of Damsel in Distress.

Or... not. So, because I spent all that time farting around trying to talk to Cookie, we ran out of time and the ship hit the reefs. On the whole Plundered Hearts isn't a particularly mean game, but it does start you off with two ticking clocks right at the beginning.

So, rewinding back to before we entered the galley...

quote:

>s
Forecastle
You can see a mooring winch here.

>examine winch
Made of an old barrel turning on a pole, the mooring winch is used to coil in
the anchor chain. A pair of metal teeth bite the links to prevent it from
dragging out; a lever is connected to the teeth. Something is written on the
lever.

>read lever
On the lever is written "Open Up, Close Down." You notice the lever is pointed
down.

PRESS UP TO SAVE SHIP

quote:

>push lever up
The metal teeth open as you raise up the lever. The anchor, released, splashes
down into the sea, dragging its clanking chain. After a moment, you feel the
ship pull slightly against the current. You lower the lever to prevent any more
chain from spooling out.

Ten-year-old me had a terrible time with this because I couldn't wrap my head around the idea that the ship had two anchors. The anchor was already cut, so what was messing with the winch going to accomplish? I was pretty dumb.

quote:

>score
In 98 turns, you have achieved a score of 5 out of 25 points. This gives you the
rank of Missish Minx.

In any case, lowering the anchor got us another point, and our first rank upgrade! :dance:

...What else did we need to deal with again?

# ? Jun 21, 2021 01:42

BraveLittleToaster: May 5, 2019

Well, there's the matter of the ship blowing up.

Can we empty the Laudanum bottle, fill it with water from the barrel, and snuff the fire with that?

# ? Jun 21, 2021 02:05

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Use laudenum on Cookie and search cookie to see if the old guy has anything

# ? Jun 21, 2021 04:05

Seyser Koze: Dec 15, 2013; Mucho Mucho; Nap Ghost

Really hoped I'd last more than a week before falling behind on updates. Oh well.

Slaan posted:

Use laudenum on Cookie and search cookie to see if the old guy has anything

It's everyone for himself (or herself) out here on the high seas, after all.

quote:

>in
Galley
This tiny kitchen smells of old stew and yeast. A low door to starboard shows
the way out.
A dagger is driven into the wooden floorboards.
An entirely bald man sits here, carving into his peg leg.
The man looks you over sharply, then winks an eye. "Hullo, boy -- Sam, I'll
call you. Nervous about Cap'n? He'll come to no harm. And if there is trouble,
he only has to signal from that seaward winder of the house -- ye can see it
from the crow's nest -- and we'll be there in a jiffy. Me and my peg are to stay
aboard and guard y--, the Cap'n's young lady."

>give laudanum to cookie
You'll have to open the leather bottle first.
With a heave and creak of timbers, the Helena Louise drifts a little way back
towards the island. The tide has turned.

>give bottle to cookie
Briskly, Cookie refuses your offer.

Hmm.

quote:

>squeeze bottle
A bubble of laudanum forms on the tip of the leather bottle then slurps back in.

>squeeze bottle at cookie
[That sentence isn't one I recognize.

drat it, game, do my bidding!

quote:

>squeeze bottle into cookie's toothless mouth
[I don't know the word "toothless."]

>squeeze bottle into cookie's mouth
[There were too many nouns in that sentence.]

>force-feed laudanum to cookie
[I don't know the word "force-feed."]

quote:

>sigh
You sigh contentedly, smiling.

The game can't even interpret that right. :sigh:

BraveLittleToaster posted:

Can we empty the Laudanum bottle, fill it with water from the barrel, and snuff the fire with that?

All right, maybe if we don't have to interact with an NPC we can make the parser understand us.

quote:

Main Deck

>x barrels
The two open barrels contain rum and water, you can tell by the smell of each.
They are identical but for the dark stains around the mouth of the rum barrel.

>fill bottle with water
You can't get anything into the leather bottle.

Maybe if we... squeeze it out while dunking it in the barrel, it'll work?

quote:

>put bottle in water
You drop the leather bottle into the water barrel. It sinks from sight.

Uh.

quote:

>get bottle
You can't see any bottle here!

...Oops?

quote:

>overturn water barrel
[I don't know the word "overturn."]

>tip water barrel
You notice a scrawl on the side, "No tipping, please."

Well, if you say please...

quote:

>get in water barrel
You can't get into a water barrel!

All right, so we've got to reload. I will say that we have either seen or acquired everything we need to extinguish the fuse.

quote:

>i
You have your reticule (hanging from your wrist). It seems that your reticule
contains a cotton frock, a missive, a jewelled brooch, a bit of mirror, a
leather bottle, an invitation, smelling salts and a banknote. You are wearing a
shirt, breeches, your kid slippers and a linen chemise.

# ? Jun 25, 2021 02:49

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Dip linen chemise into the water and then throw that on the fire?

# ? Jun 25, 2021 03:04

BraveLittleToaster: May 5, 2019

Can we pick up Cookie himself and toss him on the fire? Try the salts on the fire too, alternatively.

# ? Jun 25, 2021 05:40

Gideon020: Apr 23, 2011

Huh, somehow I'm not surprised that a Bodice Ripper novel became a computer game.

# ? Jun 25, 2021 10:06

Regallion: Nov 11, 2012

It's interesting that the game makes you wear a disguise before you can climb.
Can you strip in sight of crew? Does that have an unfortunate effect?

# ? Jun 25, 2021 12:45

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

quote:

You will be safe -- but there is another for whom I fear! My horse is waiting and I ride to her rescue.

I spent entirely too long staring at this sentence wondering why your father needs to go save his horse.

# ? Jun 25, 2021 15:02

Seyser Koze: Dec 15, 2013; Mucho Mucho; Nap Ghost

Yep, I did it again. Work's been busy.

Slaan posted:

Dip linen chemise into the water and then throw that on the fire?

Anything's worth a try.

quote:

>s
Main Deck

>put chemise in water
You'll have to remove the linen chemise first.
With a heave and creak of timbers, the Helena Louise drifts a little way back towards the island. The tide has turned.

>remove chemise
But that wouldn't be decent!

Prude!

Regallion posted:

It's interesting that the game makes you wear a disguise before you can climb.
Can you strip in sight of crew? Does that have an unfortunate effect?

Hmm.

quote:

>strip
You strip down to your chemise.
A sailor notices the "swish" of your petticoats. "A woman," he gasps, "free, aboard this ship!"
It's been rather a long time since any of the crew have dealt with the fairer sex, and they are a bit rough, despite Rodney Quick's exhortations.

*** You have died ***

I'd call that unfortunate, yes. That's way more than "a bit" rough, game.

Also, you don't have to be disguised before you climb the ladder; you just can't be wearing the cotton frock. You're perfectly welcome to climb the ladder in just your chemise, in which case you'll get pirated as soon as you step onto the quarterdeck.

BraveLittleToaster posted:

Can we pick up Cookie himself and toss him on the fire? Try the salts on the fire too, alternatively.

Cookie's an old man, he can't weigh that much. Let's give it a shot!

quote:

>in
Galley
This tiny kitchen smells of old stew and yeast. A low door to starboard shows the way out.
A dagger is driven into the wooden floorboards.
An entirely bald man sits here, carving into his peg leg.
The man looks you over sharply, then winks an eye. "Hullo, boy -- Sam, I'll call you. Nervous about Cap'n? He'll come to no harm. And if there is trouble,
he only has to signal from that seaward winder of the house -- ye can see it from the crow's nest -- and we'll be there in a jiffy. Me and my peg are to stay
aboard and guard y--, the Cap'n's young lady."

>pick up cookie
What an odd thing to attempt.

>g
It's not worth it. Believe me.

>g
That seems a useless idea.

>g
Don't dally around.

>g
Don't bother.

>g
That is a waste of time.

I do appreciate that the game has some fun with a variety of messages for nonsense commands. Anyway, let's try the salts idea. We did see the door leading back belowdecks earlier, so with any luck we can save a little time on our return trip...

quote:

>s
Quarterdeck
Abaft the wheel sits a large pyramid of casks, held in place by a heavy rope.
Cannon line the deck, aimed at open sea and the island.

>unbar door
Someone yells from ahead, "Cap'n 'll have your hide if you go down there!" You haven't the strength to lift the bar anyway.

Or... not. :sigh:

So yeah, if you want to go belowdecks again, you have to go all the way to the ship's stern and back down the ladder. You have plenty of time, but when you're figuring out what to do, you can spend quite a few turns just traveling.

quote:

>s
Poop

>d
You climb down to opposite the ledge.

On the Ladder

>in
You pull yourself over the ledge, tumbling head over heels into Jamison's
quarters.

Captain's Quarters

Thankfully it only takes you one turn to negotiate the ladder on the return trip.

quote:

>n
You squeeze through the opening between cupboard and wall.

Landing

>d
Aft Hold
The tail of your shirt suddenly catches on something, tearing the fabric. A large scrap flutters to your feet.

>n
Hold
A tiny glow of fire creeps across a stretch of floor -- inside the cage full of ammunition.

Here we are. Now, where were we?

quote:

>throw salts at fire
You aren't anywhere near the fuse!

It's probably a good thing that the game doesn't let you just toss random junk into the ammo cage, never to be retrieved, but I would've enjoyed at least a couple ways to blow yourself up by tossing the wrong thing.

Anyway, that's a couple possibilities eliminated, but we're on the right track! I can feel it!

Seyser Koze fucked around with this message at 02:44 on Jul 1, 2021

# ? Jul 1, 2021 02:38

Seyser Koze: Dec 15, 2013; Mucho Mucho; Nap Ghost

the holy poopacy posted:

I spent entirely too long staring at this sentence wondering why your father needs to go save his horse.

nothing better for the inside of a man, et cetera

# ? Jul 1, 2021 02:41

BraveLittleToaster: May 5, 2019

I wonder what archaic solution the game could have in mind. Here�s some things to try:

Steal Cookie�s pegleg.
Retrieve torn scrap of cloth if possible.
See if we can disrupt the fuse with our objects instead of the fire itself. Maybe an improvised cloth based slingshot? Using dagger or mirror shard as ammunition.
Combine smelling salts and laudanum, add water optionally. Try it on Cookie and fire. Alternatively, cover clothes in mixture.
Bribe Cookie with banknote or brooch.
See if we can get above decks to the crows nest.

I apologize if that�s too many requests.

# ? Jul 1, 2021 03:26

Arzaac: Jan 2, 2020

My one thought is that, if it's a squeezable bottle and you can't get anything through the top, maybe we could cut open the lid with the dagger? Then you could use it to transport water to put out the fuse.

# ? Jul 1, 2021 09:53

Keldulas: Mar 18, 2009

Certainly the only game I�ve seen that lets you get yourself killed via gang rape scenario.

This is certainly interesting to me since I do like watching adventure games and this one�s setup and premise is definitely unique. Won�t be voting though since I find actually playing adventure games to be absolutely annoying and frustrating, especially the text based ones.

# ? Jul 1, 2021 12:39

Rogue AI Goddess: May 10, 2012; I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.
That was a joke... unless..?

Keldulas posted:

Certainly the only game I�ve seen that lets you get yourself killed via gang rape scenario.

Spellcasting 201: The Sorcerer's Appliance (1991)

And now we are all worse off for the knowledge.

# ? Jul 1, 2021 15:45

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

I feel it's dreadfully remiss of us to not have tried to use the dagger on Cookie at all. Obviously the Falcon would have entrusted the keys to the ammo cage to his most loyal subordinate, we need only retrieve the keys from his corpse and our way will be clear. If Cookie knows what's good for him perhaps merely threatening him will be enough to make him cough up the goods.

# ? Jul 1, 2021 16:15

Arzaac: Jan 2, 2020

Maybe the brooch can be used as a makeshift lockpick? :v:

# ? Jul 1, 2021 16:21

Mathwyn: Oct 31, 2012; Ante up.

I vaguely remember the original thread for this! Is good to see it back.

Sadly I don't remember how to not explode. Try soaking the frock and throwing that at the fuse? :v:

# ? Jul 1, 2021 17:27

Seyser Koze: Dec 15, 2013; Mucho Mucho; Nap Ghost

BraveLittleToaster posted:

Steal Cookie�s pegleg.

I actually neglected to save after the last update, so we happen to be right next to the galley already. Convenient!

quote:

>in
Galley
This tiny kitchen smells of old stew and yeast. A low door to starboard showsthe way out.
A dagger is driven into the wooden floorboards.
An entirely bald man sits here, carving into his peg leg.
The man looks you over sharply, then winks an eye. "Hullo, boy -- Sam, I'll call you. Nervous about Cap'n? He'll come to no harm. And if there is trouble, he only has to signal from that seaward winder of the house -- ye can see it from the crow's nest -- and we'll be there in a jiffy. Me and my peg are to stay aboard and guard y--, the Cap'n's young lady."

>take peg leg
[I don't know the word "peg."]

>take leg
[I don't know the word "leg."]

>take load-bearing wooden stick
[I don't know the word "load-bearing."]

Well, so much for that idea.

the holy poopacy posted:

I feel it's dreadfully remiss of us to not have tried to use the dagger on Cookie at all. Obviously the Falcon would have entrusted the keys to the ammo cage to his most loyal subordinate, we need only retrieve the keys from his corpse and our way will be clear. If Cookie knows what's good for him perhaps merely threatening him will be enough to make him cough up the goods.

You know, I've never even tried this.

quote:

>get dagger
Taken.
With a heave and creak of timbers, the Helena Louise drifts a little way back towards the island. The tide has turned.

>stab cookie
He holds you off, "'Ere now, there's no call for that!"

Aww. Sorry, Cookie. I didn't mean it.

quote:

>kiss cookie
"Nah, me pretty, ye belong to Cap'n."

I... I do?

*checks game genre*

Oh. I guess I do. Huh.

Asking Cookie about anything related to the fire or the ammo cage is incredibly unhelpful, so I guess it's on to the next suggestion:

Arzaac posted:

Maybe the brooch can be used as a makeshift lockpick?

Making our way back down to the ammo cage...

quote:

>n
Hold
A tiny glow of fire creeps across a stretch of floor -- inside the cage full of ammunition.
The tail of your shirt suddenly catches on something, tearing the fabric. A large scrap flutters to your feet.

They really should sand down the boards in this ship so that stops happening...

quote:

>x cage
The fence is made of thick, finely woven wire mesh, uncuttable and unclimbable. Except for a gap of about 6 inches over the closed gate, the cage is secure from ceiling to damp floorboards.

>open cage
You'll have to do that to the gate in the fence.

quote:

>open gate
It's quite locked.

>pick lock
[with the jewelled brooch]
That doesn't work here.

No dice, although it's interesting to note that the game automatically recognizes the brooch as a lockpicking tool.

Anyway, I confess. Slaan actually had more or less the right answer last time and I was deliberately obtuse to draw things out longer.

Slaan posted:

Dip linen chemise into the water and then throw that on the fire?

The game is kind enough to give you a hint by having your clothes randomly get torn as you walk around the ship, calling to your attention that you're carrying a bunch of absorbent material.

quote:

>take scrap
Taken.

>x scrap
It is a fairly hefty scrap of fabric.

Hefty enough to soak up a fair bit of water, no doubt? Let's run back upstairs and check...

quote:

>n
Main Deck

>dip scrap in water
Keeping hold on the rag, you soak it with water.

Yes!

quote:

Suddenly you appreciate what it is to be a ball in an exploding cannon. The intense heat, the push of fire, and the sense of release when spit from the cannon's mouth -- these you feel when the lighted fuse finally burns up to the largest keg of gunpowder in the hold.

*** You have died ***

In 129 turns, you have achieved a score of 5 out of 25 points. This gives you the rank of Missish Minx.

No!

120-ish turns (minus the time on the Lafond Deux at the beginning) is actually less time than I remember having. Either way, if we load our save from before we should be fine.

quote:

>s
Main Deck

>dip frock in water
Keeping hold on the cotton frock, you soak it with water. It becomes so heavy, however, that you drop it, with a loud squelch.

>take frock
Taken.

>x frock
The cotton frock is soaked and dripping with water.

The entire soaking-wet frock seems like it'll be a bit much to toss into the cage, but we can solve that easily enough.

quote:

>tear frock
You rip a large rag out of the cotton frock.

>x rag
The rag is soaked and dripping with water.

Perfect. Now it's just a quick jaunt back downstairs...

quote:

>n
Hold
A tiny glow of fire creeps across a stretch of floor -- inside the cage full of ammunition.

>throw rag at fire
You throw the rag over the gate. Luckily, it lands directly on the burning end of the fuse. With a sputter and a sigh, the flame dies.

Phew!

There's some unintentional dickery from the game here. The message for throwing a non-valid object at the fuse is "You aren't anywhere near the fuse!" which would reasonably imply that throwing things into the cage isn't an option. But here we are.

This is actually the first time that I've dunked the entire frock instead of tearing a piece off first, so, out of curiosity:

quote:

>strip
You strip down to your chemise.

>wear frock
The clammy cotton makes it too uncomfortable to wear.

>wring frock
You don't have time to dry it.

Hopefully that doesn't come back to bite us later.

And that's it for the other imminent crisis - no fanfare or dialogue moving the story along... so now what?

# ? Jul 2, 2021 04:09

BraveLittleToaster: May 5, 2019

I have a feeling we�ll need to get to that skiff at the stern of the boat, unmoor it, and go Sinistra-wards, at least by typical adventure logic.

Let�s try to find a way to it.

# ? Jul 2, 2021 04:19

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Cookie saw us coming with the dagger, so we need to get close to him with something that won't register as a weapon. Tear off another strip of cloth and use it to garrotte Cookie. The rest of the pirates will be so cowed and impressed by this feat of violence that they will undoubtedly yield control of the vessel to us.

# ? Jul 2, 2021 04:39

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# ? May 4, 2024 23:35

CaptainCaveman: Apr 16, 2005; Always searching for North.

Mathwyn posted:

I vaguely remember the original thread for this! Is good to see it back.

Me too!

# ? Oct 23, 2021 01:57

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Let's try to avoid a fate worse than death in Plundered Hearts (redux)