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im watching Shrek the musical on Netflix right now and it opens with a song titled big bright beautiful world, which is sung by Shreks parents to their young son. the crux of this song is that he has just turned seven and so must get out of their house, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here son. they then go on to describe how beautiful the world can be and how wonderful it is to have friends and loved ones, but here's the thing, you son, our son Shrek, are way too ugly for any of that and no one will ever love you so goodbye enjoy your life of abject misery and poverty don't let the door hit your rear end on the way out, no wonder Shrek is such a miserable dick, his parents were negligent abusive assholes! im feel so bad for poor Shrek now :'(
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Jul 3, 2021 09:41
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| # ? May 12, 2024 19:42 |
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Wait, were Shrek's parents hot?
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Jul 3, 2021 09:52
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Das Boo posted:Wait, were Shrek's parents hot? his dad is hideous like him and his mom is a regular pretty green lady, not even weirdly shapes like fiona
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Jul 3, 2021 09:54
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Jul 3, 2021 10:09
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Sid Vicious posted:his dad is hideous like him and his mom is a regular pretty green lady, not even weirdly shapes like fiona  shrek canon contradictory
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Jul 3, 2021 10:43
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OP IIRC you kinda look like shrek if he was painted pink. We're your friends pal, you don't have to hide your true self from us.
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Jul 3, 2021 11:46
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how sexy were donkey's parents though?
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Jul 3, 2021 13:04
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In the Shrek musical the big bag wolf gets up and loudly calls himself the T-slur in a musical number this is not a joke
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Jul 3, 2021 13:06
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Ever since they insisted on his erection being "woke" the franchise has turned to cr*p!
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Jul 3, 2021 13:18
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Shrek came to my house and sucked my dick clean off and I had to get a new one
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Jul 3, 2021 13:23
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Wasn’t Shrek kind of already a musical
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Jul 3, 2021 13:30
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Well yes but you see they don't have to pay global super-group Smashmouth royalties on this one.
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Jul 3, 2021 13:42
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Shrek died
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Jul 3, 2021 13:43
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Shrek died risp (rest in swamp peace)
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Jul 3, 2021 13:48
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Jul 3, 2021 14:11
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Shrekma
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Jul 3, 2021 14:15
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Can Shrek aim his trumpet ears? I can't imagine what the the world sounds like through those things. Maybe he can move them around and use some rudimentary form of echolocation?
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Jul 3, 2021 14:23
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Jul 3, 2021 14:24
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I'm not familiar with the backstory but I really hope it explains those ears.
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Jul 3, 2021 14:27
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Sounds like someone should buy Shrek an account, he'd fit right in
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Jul 3, 2021 14:33
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i don't care about how it explains Shrek, the more important question is: does Shrek the Musical explain why Shrek the Musical exist?
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Jul 3, 2021 14:49
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Big Beef City posted:Well yes but you see they don't have to pay global super-group Smashmouth royalties on this one. Wait do they seriously not do a cover of all star in this musical this is bullshit
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Jul 3, 2021 15:02
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He just wants to be by himself in his swamp, leave shrek alone
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Jul 3, 2021 15:11
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DeadFatDuckFat posted:He just wants to be by himself in his swamp, leave shrek alone Turn your monitor on
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Jul 3, 2021 15:12
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DeadFatDuckFat posted:He just wants to be by himself in his swamp, leave shrek alone We went into the swamp to kill Shrek for he is a monster. First we pulled him out of his house as he struggled and much did he scream in protest and rancor. Then we did plunge three pitchfork into his gut thrice and the innards came out. At this point he did not scream much but only groaned in a less lively fashion and the blood so mingled with the innards that it seemed as though you could not tell meat from the leaking humors of his distended abdomen which so resembled putty or mashed beef. As he died we prepared a fire and readied a pallet to roast his body upon and thereby reduce it to ashes. He did not live Long as he lost his vital essence laying upon the muck of his swamp while the fire was made and we further jabbed him with pitchfork and pick in order to induce death in a speedier fashion. We placed the large and now deceased body upon the pyre and then he did burn for five hour, after which there was naught left but splinter, ash, charcoal, and streaks of gut upon the mud and mire. We then left his abode and went to our homes for the night had been long and such displays and strenuous expenditure of the mind and body does induce torpor into the muscle and ligament. We slept long and awoke to the sun very hot the next morning and the mist settled upon glen and there was much to do and we nearly forgot about it all as though it had been a dream or perhaps a simple evening distraction.
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Jul 3, 2021 15:18
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:We went into the swamp to kill Shrek for he is a monster. First we pulled him out of his house as he struggled and much did he scream in protest and rancor. Then we did plunge three pitchfork into his gut thrice and the innards came out. At this point he did not scream much but only groaned in a less lively fashion and the blood so mingled with the innards that it seemed as though you could not tell meat from the leaking humors of his distended abdomen which so resembled putty or mashed beef. As he died we prepared a fire and readied a pallet to roast his body upon and thereby reduce it to ashes. He did not live Long as he lost his vital essence laying upon the muck of his swamp while the fire was made and we further jabbed him with pitchfork and pick in order to induce death in a speedier fashion. We placed the large and now deceased body upon the pyre and then he did burn for five hour, after which there was naught left but splinter, ash, charcoal, and streaks of gut upon the mud and mire. We then left his abode and went to our homes for the night had been long and such displays and strenuous expenditure of the mind and body does induce torpor into the muscle and ligament. We slept long and awoke to the sun very hot the next morning and the mist settled upon glen and there was much to do and we nearly forgot about it all as though it had been a dream or perhaps a simple evening distraction.
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Jul 3, 2021 17:24
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Shrek is love, Shrek is life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06nDozzQ8xE
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Jul 3, 2021 17:28
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I’m gonna Shrek all over the goddamn floor
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Jul 3, 2021 17:42
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If I kiss shrek will I turn into a big tity she-goblin or whatever or do I need to already be a beautiful princess for that to work because I'm gettin my shrek suckin lips ready
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Jul 3, 2021 17:47
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:We went into the swamp to kill Shrek for he is a monster. First we pulled him out of his house as he struggled and much did he scream in protest and rancor. Then we did plunge three pitchfork into his gut thrice and the innards came out. At this point he did not scream much but only groaned in a less lively fashion and the blood so mingled with the innards that it seemed as though you could not tell meat from the leaking humors of his distended abdomen which so resembled putty or mashed beef. As he died we prepared a fire and readied a pallet to roast his body upon and thereby reduce it to ashes. He did not live Long as he lost his vital essence laying upon the muck of his swamp while the fire was made and we further jabbed him with pitchfork and pick in order to induce death in a speedier fashion. We placed the large and now deceased body upon the pyre and then he did burn for five hour, after which there was naught left but splinter, ash, charcoal, and streaks of gut upon the mud and mire. We then left his abode and went to our homes for the night had been long and such displays and strenuous expenditure of the mind and body does induce torpor into the muscle and ligament. We slept long and awoke to the sun very hot the next morning and the mist settled upon glen and there was much to do and we nearly forgot about it all as though it had been a dream or perhaps a simple evening distraction.
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Jul 3, 2021 17:50
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:We went into the swamp to kill Shrek for he is a monster. First we pulled him out of his house as he struggled and much did he scream in protest and rancor. Then we did plunge three pitchfork into his gut thrice and the innards came out. At this point he did not scream much but only groaned in a less lively fashion and the blood so mingled with the innards that it seemed as though you could not tell meat from the leaking humors of his distended abdomen which so resembled putty or mashed beef. As he died we prepared a fire and readied a pallet to roast his body upon and thereby reduce it to ashes. He did not live Long as he lost his vital essence laying upon the muck of his swamp while the fire was made and we further jabbed him with pitchfork and pick in order to induce death in a speedier fashion. We placed the large and now deceased body upon the pyre and then he did burn for five hour, after which there was naught left but splinter, ash, charcoal, and streaks of gut upon the mud and mire. We then left his abode and went to our homes for the night had been long and such displays and strenuous expenditure of the mind and body does induce torpor into the muscle and ligament. We slept long and awoke to the sun very hot the next morning and the mist settled upon glen and there was much to do and we nearly forgot about it all as though it had been a dream or perhaps a simple evening distraction. Shrek is risen! He came to me in a blinding flash as I traveled towards town and left me shattered and blind. Ohh and his ears are handles.
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Jul 4, 2021 08:23
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man i hate that guy who said "shrek is dreck" even more now
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Jul 4, 2021 08:31
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Jul 4, 2021 08:42
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this is a penny arcade rear end shrek.
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Jul 4, 2021 08:56
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ogre load
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Jul 4, 2021 09:26
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maybe in the neverending story the swamp was abused as a child and that's why it swallowed artax i may never look at that swamp the same way again
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Jul 4, 2021 09:40
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I hosed shrek op
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Jul 4, 2021 11:42
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Big Beef City posted:If I kiss shrek will I turn into a big tity she-goblin or whatever or do I need to already be a beautiful princess for that to work because I'm gettin my shrek suckin lips ready The monarchy has power solely because the people accept that it has power. There is nothing inherently special or unique about the nobility. So yes, you can be a big titty she-goblin if you want to be and I will fight for your right to be so.
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Jul 4, 2021 14:07
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 https://i.imgur.com/cVOsSjN.png
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Jul 4, 2021 14:20
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| # ? May 12, 2024 19:42 |
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Lieutenant Dan posted:In the Shrek musical the big bag wolf gets up and loudly calls himself the T-slur in a musical number i can't believe big bad wolf said "tugger" in shrek: the musical
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Jul 4, 2021 14:25
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