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whats the deal with bears
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Jul 9, 2021 17:08
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| # ¿ May 13, 2024 22:48 |
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Luvcow posted:bear kramering it's way into jerry's apartment and then mauling him to death barfdog posted:newman yelling "THE BEAR NEVER STOPS, JERRY!" |
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Jul 9, 2021 17:16
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jerry: so are you ready for the big date? elaine: do bears poo poo in the wood? jerry: im sorry? what? elaine: it's an expression, like you've never heard it before? jerry: i guess theres only so much you get to hear as a professional comedian *laugh track* elaine: it means "of course" jerry: ah jerry: it's a pretty specific phrase? like do bears do their business in the forest? george: *scoffs* where else would they do it? in a public restroom? *laugh track* jerry: no, like, are all bears dropping deuces in the forest, aren't there bears who dont have the facilities availiable? elaine: like those polar bears george: so they have to migrate to relieve themselves? *laugh track* elaine: it's only an expression. like "one bird in the hand is worth two in the bush", its not meant to be taken literal jerry: yeah, the bird-to-hand ratio would be totally depended on context. what if its a hand-biting bird? *laugh track* george: like a parro- *the door to jerry's apartment slams open, a bewildered and excited kramer bursts through* *audience cheers* jerry: don't you ever knock? kramer: you guys will never believe this, but theres a bear running wild in new york, doing his business in public restrooms |
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Jul 9, 2021 17:32
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jerry: ... and so they're holding this "entertainment lunch" and all the members are expected to bring a friend george: why are the comedians' guild expecting their members to have friends? *laugh track* jerry: *staring at george* i guess they're using a generous interpretation of the word *laugh track* elaine: well count me out, i'm having this entire thing with a certificated doctor that night jerry: *visibly impressed* woah, talking about high society! and the name of this gentleman? elaine: doctor singh george: isn't your gp also named singh? *laugh track* jerry: george, please, its an extremely common surname, an- elaine: i have a doctor's appointment *laugh track* jerry: anyway, who said i was going to invite mrs. singh to the event anyway *elaine rolls her eyes* george: i- uh, i also have a date with a doctor george: ... or an appointment jerry: really? *laugh track* george: all right, all right! i just don't want to visit those stuffy, self important funny-men, who make careers out of riffing air plane peanuts! okay?! jerry: and that's why i never planned on inviting you in the first place *bass solo* *at the comedians guild event, as casualties are climbing* jerry: jesus christ kramer! how? why?! kramer: well, it wasn't easy, let me tell you that! i know this guy though, former soviet smuggler, see- jerry: nevermind the how, why?? kramer: you specifically told me to bring my own bear |
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Jul 9, 2021 18:21
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