- Brut
- Aug 21, 2007
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Can't post for 23 days!
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Broadcast is live, fights should start soon.
Uggghhhh I don’t wanna. But I will, because this is the exact kind of card that these posts are good for. So I’m going to break down Fight Night: Makachev vs Moises. Again, I listened to Jack Slack already this week, so I won’t be able to avoid having his analysis seep in, instead of the reverse, which is what usually happens Mr. Slack who I know is reading this because he’s secretly a goon.
All of this will be on ESPN/ESPN+
Main Card
Lightweight Islam Makhachev vs Thiago Moises
This is a lightweight Coming of Age story. Unfortunately, it should have happened on last week’s PPV where people would actually get to see the fighters, instead of on a card where nobody will. Though now they get a 5 round fight. This fight is an argument for making the prelim headliners 5 rounds. Do it, Dana. And pay me money for the idea and to be the UFC matchmaker. And quit your job and go away forever. See? I can’t even stay on topic with this card.
Makhachev is Khabib’s protégé and dietician. He’s like Khabib with a bit better striking, and a bit worse grappling. He has one career loss, getting clipped by Adriano Martins, who is a forgettable Brazilian kickboxer who actually can hit, so it’s essentially a puncher’s chance loss. His last fight he completely smeshed Drew Dober. Thiago Moises is the opposite of Drew Dober: a Brazilian who can grapple. His best UFC win is probably a cool achilles lock win over Michael Johnson, but he has beaten Bobby Green and Alexander Hernandez since then.
Bantamweight Marion Reneau vs Miesha Tate
mom fight mom fight Mom Fight Mom Fight MOM FIGHT MOM FIGHT! Actually it’s not that exciting. Reneau is at 44 the oldest woman ever to fight in the UFC at 44. She’s a gym teacher who has some decent wins in a long career but who is also on a 4 fight losing streak. She has never been finished. She mostly rassles and punches at people. Miesha Tate is only 34, but I think that still makes this the oldest women’s fight in UFC history. She’s the former champ and a major pioneer of the division, but she was also retired for 5 years doing ??? for ONE. She was mostly a wrestler too.
Lightweight Jeremy Stephens vs Mateusz Gamrot
Stephens is the most overrated KO artist in the game, because they call him that but he has like 6 finishes in 30 UFC fights. Last time out he didn’t even get out because he assaulted and injured his opponent at the weigh in. OH WELL. He’s on like a 5 fight winless streak. I really don’t hate him that much, but they should just permanently move him to #16 in the rankings and change his nickname to “The Gatekeeper.” Gamrot is a polish prospect who is 1-1 in the UFC. He TKOed Scott Holtzman in his last fight. Oh, he went 7 minutes against Garry Tonon at ADCC so he’s probably going to choke Stephens out unless he does something stupid and gets punched. Acually, Stephens is a competent counter wrestler. It’s almost as if this fight represents some kind of test and barrier to Gamrot’s future advancement in the division 
Middleweight Rodolfo Vieria vs Dustin Stolzfus
Viera is the greatest jiu jitsu guy ever. Or something. He also gassed like a chump in his last fight and got choked out by a purple belt. Stolzfus (I can’t type his name correctly even if I’m looking at it) is a DWCS guy who lost his debut to Kyle Daukaus. His record says “Grappler,” so this is probably an alley-oop for Vieria but maybe he’ll snatch defeat from the jaws of victory again.
Yeesh.
 Gabriel Benitez vs Billy Quarantillo
This fight should fukken rock. Benitez is a Mexican brawler from AKA who is said (by his coaches) to be p4p one of the hardest kickers in the sport, recently KOing Justin Jaynes in December. Billy Quarantillo is a good wrestler who has been in some fun as poo poo fights, too, coming off his first UFC loss, to Gavin Tucker.
Prelims
Welterweight Daniel Rodriguez vs Preston Parsons
Why isn’t Rodriguez getting a spotlight? He has wins over Mike Perry, Tim Means, and others. He’s a scary looking dude who punches people. Is there some other guy who looks like him, though, who has been also on a tear? Preston Parsons is a debuting late replacement with lots of strangles on his record, and an early career loss to Mike Perry.
Strawweight Amanda Lemos vs Montserrat “Conejo” Ruiz
Big Tatty Goth Girlfriend is back. Ruiz is a Mexican wrestler who won her last fight by scarf holding her opponent for 3 rounds and then getting into a yelling match afterwards. It owned. Before that she was lined up for an Invicta title shot. She has finished several fights from scarf, actually. Lemos is a Brazilian who is on a 3-fight streak, including a decision over Mizuki and a KO of Livinha Souza, which was pretty sweet actually. This might be good, or at least funny.
Bantamweight Khalid Taha vs Sergey Morozov
??? Taha is German and his only UFC win is a KO of Boston Salmon. Morozov is Kazakhstani and his only UFC bout is a loss to Umar Nurmagomedov, who is an undefeated uber prospect.
Bantamweight Miles Johns vs Anderson Dos Santos
??? Johns is a 11-1 / 2-1 UFC DWCS guy whose most recent win was a POTN KO of Kevin Natividad. Dos Santos is a 21-8 / 1-2 Brazilian with a loss to a guy named Nad
Flyweight Francisco Figueirdo vs Malcolm Gordon
Figgy “Thong Song” Smallser is Deivison’s younger brother. He’s 1-0 in the UFC with a decision win over Jerome Rivera, who we saw get his head twisted off last weekend. Gordon is a Canadian TKO guy, 0-2 UFC
Heavyweight Alan Baudot vs Rodrigo Nascimento
Nascimento is a DWCS guy who got KOed by Chris Daukaus in 45 seconds. Baudot is a French/Canadian (not French-Canadian) TKO guy who got into the UFC as a late replacement off of some strange DQ win and then got beaten up by Tom Aspinall.
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Jul 18, 2021 00:22
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May 16, 2024 03:43
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- Brut
- Aug 21, 2007
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Can't post for 23 days!
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Gordon's cornerman found Conor's coke stash that was apparently left behind last week and is now on all of it at once, lmao.
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Jul 18, 2021 01:19
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- Brut
- Aug 21, 2007
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Can't post for 23 days!
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What?
For real his cornerman was talking a million miles an hour, probably none of it got on the ESPN broadcast.
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Jul 18, 2021 01:40
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- Brut
- Aug 21, 2007
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Can't post for 23 days!
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Holy poo poo Morozov's coach is talking to him in this amazing mix of mostly English, some Russian and some Judo terms.
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Jul 18, 2021 01:45
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- Brut
- Aug 21, 2007
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Can't post for 23 days!
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His original coach who they were talking about at the beginning of the fight, Shawn Tompkins, was renowned for massive cocaine consumption and died young of a heart attack
Oh holy poo poo I had it muted between the fights and didn't hear any of that, I thought I was just making fun of Conor. gently caress.
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Jul 18, 2021 01:53
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- Brut
- Aug 21, 2007
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Can't post for 23 days!
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Anyway this Morozov guy loving owns, I didn't expect him to speak English at all
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Jul 18, 2021 02:00
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- Brut
- Aug 21, 2007
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Can't post for 23 days!
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I'm pretty sure this is the record for UFC at least. Bellator has had quite a few fights with guys who have been long out of the UFC for name value, so maybe they have a 40+ year old vs 40+ year old fight
I mean Oleinik fought Werdum last year, in UFC, just for example. Also Oleinik vs Overeem was up there, as was Oleinik vs Hunt before that.
Brut fucked around with this message at 04:39 on Jul 18, 2021
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Jul 18, 2021 04:36
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May 16, 2024 03:43
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- Brut
- Aug 21, 2007
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Can't post for 23 days!
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Good night everybody
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Jul 18, 2021 05:38
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Jul 18, 2021 00:22
