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Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Joe Biden is doing magic tricks on the side of the road in his electric Ford F-150 and when he tries to do a coin trick he fumbles and drops it to the ground and scrambles around in the dirt and gravel trying to find it and then kicks it into the grass while screaming "MINDFREAK!!!" and then he takes away your vape pen.

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Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


The beautiful soft Joe Biden attempting to flip a pancake to impress the children, throwing both griddle and ill-prepared pastry across the room, decapitating a statue of the Virgin Mary and toppling an antique room dividing shade, exposing former Press Secretary Sean Spicer crouching, half-eaten Subway 6" Oven Roasted Chicken Breast, all veggies ranch dressing, EXTRA provolone on the honey oat bread, toasted, in hand, smiling broadly at the camera as Chuck Schumer films a TikTok about the scene.

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Joe Biden wants you to "eat fresh" and join his after school study group, for the Bible.

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Joe Biden just wants to "rap" about your "college savings fund" wholly tax exempt at age of majority for select higher education related expenses only

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


He's hip, he's cool and he's coming out with his own 19 compact disc set of inspiring speeches about buttercream frosting and living in "the less affluent, more character building" part of town, it's Joe Biden, sitting president of the United States and author of the book I'll Pop Ya Good With This Log Chain.

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Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Joe Biden doing sick moves while rollerblading listening to his favorite soundtrack, Disney's Brink!, showing off in front of the other kids so they know he's ready to rock and roll

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