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Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Your skin is perfectly normal except your elbows are ashy as gently caress no matter how much lotion you put on, and your judgy cousin can't stop staring.

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Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


A birthmark that looks like a profile on silhouette of famed singer songwriter Yusuf Islam beneath your left nipple

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Every fart tickles the skin tag near your anus and you've just eaten two bowls of your mother's famous bean chili

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Butt looking a little saggy but only on one cheek

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Toenails curl upward and grow at a rate of 8mm/day

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


One big nip, one small nip, pointing two different directions

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Your dick is perfectly normal, extremely average, and skinless.

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Feeling a little itchy on my inner thigh, but only during sales meetings.

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Normal ears, but they feel a little too big and I'm self conscious about it.

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Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Developing a mild callus on the heel of my foot due to shoe rub while running and having my new boyfriend see it on a date.

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