quote:

They recapped CM Punk's debut promo from last week's Rampage.

Orange Cassidy defeated Matt Hardy

This wasn't very good. It took forever to get going and the finish came completely out of nowhere.

Neither man came out with seconds. They exchanged soft kicks and refrains of "DELETE!" at the start. Hardy put his hands in his pockets and pulled out money, so Orange dropkicked it out of his hands. Orange went for a tope suicida, but Hardy caught it and hit the Side Effect out on the floor.

Back in the ring, Hardy hit repeated back suplexes. He mocked Orange's lackadaisical kicks and hit an elbow drop for two. After another suplex, Hardy took his money back that Orange had taken and hit a leg drop for two more. He sent Orange into the corner with a hammer throw, but Orange countered a second. He went for the Beach Break, but Hardy fought out as Orange's back was hurt badly. Hardy hit a Splash Mountain for two.

Hardy set up for the Twist of Fate, but Orange kept rolling out of the way. Orange countered a Twist of Fate and sent Hardy to the floor before taking him out with a tope suicida. He followed it up with a diving crossbody and a float-over DDT for two. Hardy was busted open bad from his nose, which may have been broken.

They fought on the top rope until Orange sent Hardy to the mat. He mocked Jeff Hardy's pose and hit a hands-in-pockets Swanton Bomb. Orange went for the Twist of Fate, but Hardy countered out of it and hit a diving elbow drop for two. Orange came back with a Twist of Fate for a good near fall.

Hardy avoided the Orange Punch and went for the Leech submission, but Orange turned it into a hands-in-pockets cradle for the pin.

**********

Malakai Black said he agreed with Brock Anderson's dad: he's in over his head. Black demanded that when the bell rings, Brock apologizes. If that doesn't happen, Black will take out his anger on Brock, Arn, Cody, and anyone remotely associated with the Nightmare Family.

**********

Chris Jericho and MJF promo

Jericho made his entrance, "Judas" and all. He's disappointed because he lost to MJF for the third time, and even worse, he tapped out. He put himself through all that punishment because he had to –– it's what he does. He had to beat MJF because it's like a mantra running through his head: "beat MJF, beat MJF, beat MJF." Jericho said he would continuously call out and attack MJF until it's over.

He invited MJF out to hear his proposal, but MJF didn't show. Jericho proposed one more match at All Out. If he can't beat MJF, maybe he doesn't belong in AEW anymore. If MJF beats him, he will never wrestle in AEW again.

MJF came out and said that this is embarrassing. He told Jericho to just leave him alone. He said the only reason Jericho is obsessed with MJF is that he needs the rub from the fastest rising star in professional wrestling. However, while being able to say "I tapped out Chris Jericho" is cool, saying "I ended Chris Jericho" is legendary. He accepted, telling Jericho to be careful because he's better than him and he knows it.

**********

The Varsity Blonds were in the locker room. They might not have the bloodline bond that the Lucha Bros have, but they're focused on their goal of taking on the Young Bucks inside a steel cage.

The Young Bucks and their Elite associates came out to watch this match.

Lucha Bros (Penta El Zero Miedo & Rey Fénix) defeated Varsity Blonds (Griff Garrison & Brian Pillman Jr.) (w/ Julia Hart)

Like the opener, this also wasn't very good. This was one of the sloppier Dynamite matches I've seen.

This is the semifinals of the tag title contenders' tournament, with the winning team facing the Jurassic Express this Friday for a shot against the Young Bucks in a steel cage at All Out.

Garrison and Fénix started off. They wrestled around but had each other's big moves scouted, going to a stalemate and tagging in their partners. Penta called for a "Cero Miedo" chant and got in Pillman's face. Pillman hit forearms but ran into a thrust kick before hitting one of his own. A step-up hurricanrana took down Penta, who came back with a sling blade. Penta followed it up with a loud overhand chop leading into the break.

Neither team was really in control with some sloppy offense coming back from break. Penta reached Fénix for a tag, who took out Garrison with a mule kick before hitting a cutter on Pillman for two. Penta and Garrison fought on the apron, but Pillman hit a springboard dropkick on Penta. Fénix pulled Pillman to the floor and the Lucha Bros hit stereo thrust kicks before Fénix landed an assisted tope suicida.

Back in the ring, the Blonds isolated Fénix and Garrison hit a diving crossbody for two. Penta got involved and they took turns kicking Pillman before an assisted package piledriver got the Lucha Bros the win out of nowhere.

– After the match, the Lucha Bros and Jurassic Express faced off in the ring. The Bucks came in and shoved Jurassic Express into the Lucha Bros. It looked like the two teams would get heated, but they kicked the Bucks to the floor and took them out with dives.

**********

Andrade El Idolo and Chavo Guerrero cut a promo saying PAC is great, but Andrade is better. They will battle at All Out.

**********

Jamie Hayter (w/ Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. & Rebel) defeated Red Velvet

Both women looked great here in this short match.

Hayter shrugged off a dropkick and hit a fallaway slam. She dominated Velvet with strikes early on until Velvet baited Hayter to the floor. Velvet followed it up with two great suicide dives ahead of the break. Baker got involved, attacking Velvet from behind while the official was distracted.

Once back, the two were trading forearms in the center of the ring. Velvet got the upper hand with clotheslines and a back elbow followed by a cazadora bulldog. Baker got on the apron, forcing Velvet to strike her to the floor. Velvet missed a standing moonsault, so Hayter killed her with a chokebreaker and a running lariat for the win.

– Hayter and Rebel attacked after the match. Kris Statlander ran out and cleaned house. She faced off with Baker, who escaped to the floor.

**********

The Dark Order were backstage. Evil Uno said the Dark Order is a unit, and units sometimes face obstacles, like a couple weeks ago when some members stayed back during the Hangman Page beatdown. Reynolds had a problem with what Uno said, blaming Uno for the beatdown. Uno told Reynolds to stay in John Silver's shadow. More dissention followed.

**********

CM Punk speaks

Schiavone said he's a wrestling announcer, but he's a fan first. He brought out "the best in the world," CM Punk.

Punk was asked what one thing brought him back to wrestling. Punk said "I can't hear you, Tony," referencing the deafening "CM Punk" chants. He mulled over the question, before referencing all the young talent in AEW. There's one guy above all: Darby Allin. Punk put over Allin, saying when he sees Allin wrestle, he thinks, "Can CM Punk still go?" If so, it starts with Allin.

When Punk was 15, Allin would've been his favorite wrestler. He doesn't fit the mold –– not the biggest or the strongest –– but he's got heart. There were "Yes!" chants, and Punk told them to be patient, referencing Bryan Danielson in all but name. At All Out, Punk's not here to prove haters wrong, he's here to prove himself right. He acknowledged his wife, AJ Lee/April Mendez, and Schiavone closed out the segment.

**********

Miro admitted to being wrong about Fuego Del Sol, but he doesn't forgive Eddie Kingston. He will find Kingston, because he is the Redeemer. His wife will love him because he is the champion. "Bring me the Mad King, before I burn this place to the ground."

**********

Jon Moxley, Eddie Kingston, & Darby Allin (w/ Sting) defeated The Wingmen (Ryan Nemeth, Cezar Bononi, & JD Drake) (w/ Peter Avalon)

Allin sent Drake to the floor right away, but Drake moved out of the way to stop a dive. Kingston and Nemeth tagged in. The latter posed, so Kingston took him out with a chop. Bononi came in and had a shoulder block battle with Kingston, but a blind tag from Moxley allowed him and Kingston to take out Bononi ahead of the commercial.

Bononi was beating up on Moxley upon return, but Moxley powered out of the attack and tagged in Kingston, who hit a kitchen sink and a uranage. A Nemeth distraction allowed Drake to take out Kingston, but Moxley bit at Drake's face as Kingston tagged in Allin. Allin hit an avalanche Code Red and laid in slaps until Peter Avalon tripped him up. Sting, Moxley, and Kingston cornered Avalon and beat him down.

Nemeth brought a chair into the ring, so Moxley and Kingston just took him out. Allin and Drake were left, and Allin hit a stunner and the Coffin Drop for the win.

– After the match, Daniel Garcia ran out and attacked Allin before fleeing once Sting, Moxley, and Kingston entered the ring.

**********

Tay Conti was asked about the women's Casino Battle Royale as well as the Dark Order's tensions. The Bunny walked up and offered Conti a spot in Hardy Family Offices. Conti ripped up the contract, Bunny slapped her, and they brawled.

**********

Dax Harwood provided an update on Cash Wheeler, saying the nerves in his arm aren't firing the way they should. He's gotten approval for one more match. Cash walked up and said they wouldn't stop until they get their pound of flesh. "Top guys, out."

**********

Kenny Omega promo

Omega, Callis, Nakazawa, & Cutler all came out. Callis immediately interrupted Schiavone and said at All Out, they'd take out Christian Cage once and for all.

Christian's music played. He came out played a video of Callis and Christian's history, with Callis booking Christian and immediately firing him. Christian called Callis a "carny piece of sh*t." Omega said that clearly nothing has changed in 27 years, and Callis compared himself to promoters like Watts, McMahon and Gagne.

Christian completely ignored it, which infuriated Callis. Callis said that at All Out, Christian would find out what Callis has known his entire career: Christian's "second-best." Christian attacked but was overwhelmed by the numbers advantage, leading to Frankie Kazarian running out to make the save.

**********

Jon Moxley cut a promo backstage, noting that the NJPW man who's showing up for All Out is Satoshi Kojima. Kojima's a legend, but Moxley's insulted that Kojima feels like he can go toe-to-toe with him. Once that bell rings, he has no respect for anyone. At All Out, it'll be a public execution of Satoshi Kojima.

**********

Paul Wight joined commentary for this match.

The Factory (QT Marshall, Nick Comoroto, & Aaron Solow) defeated The Gunn Clubb (Billy Gunn, Austin Gunn, & Colten Gunn)

The powerhouses Billy and Comoroto faced off at the start until Austin and Solow tagged in. A clothesline from QT on the apron allowed the Factory to take control ahead of the break. Once back, Comoroto was in control. Solow tagged in, allowing Austin to escape to Colten for the hot tag. Colten hit corner splashes on Solow and QT.

QT taunted and pointed at Wight on commentary, so Billy rolled him up for the quick win.

**********

Dan Lambert was with the Men of the Year, Ethan Page and Scorpio Sky. He couldn't believe that AEW fans want to see people like Sammy Guevara and Orange Cassidy week after week. They don't want to see tough guys. Lambert brought some real men who will stand up to the "woke masses," like Sky and Page. They will set an example.

**********

This week's AEW Rampage lineup:

Tay Conti vs. The Bunny
AEW World Tag Team Championships #1 Contender: Jurassic Express vs. Lucha Bros
Kenny Omega & Brandon Cutler vs. Christian Cage & Frankie Kazarian

Next week's Dynamite lineup:

Brian Cage vs. Powerhouse Hobbs
Orange Cassidy vs. Jack Evans
FTR vs. Santana & Ortiz
Chris Jericho interview with Jim Ross
MJF sit-down interview with MJF

Current AEW All Out lineup:

AEW World Championship: Kenny Omega (c) vs. Christian Cage
CM Punk vs. Darby Allin
AEW Women's Championship: Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. vs. Kris Statlander
AEW Tag Team Championships: Young Bucks (c) vs. Jurassic Express OR Lucha Bros in a steel cage
Andrade El Idolo vs. PAC
The Final Fight: MJF vs. Chris Jericho -- if Jericho loses, he will never wrestle again
Paul Wight vs. QT Marshall
Women's Casino Battle Royale

**********

Arn Anderson was asked about the experience difference between his son and Black. He said Brock's in over his head, but he's an Anderson: he's got guts. Unfortunately, good doesn't always conquer evil. He'll go down with Brock either way.

Malakai Black defeated Brock Anderson (w/ Arn Anderson)

Black immediately cornered Brock and laid in repeated strikes. Arn considered throwing in the towel, but instead dropped it. Black demanded that Arn throw it in, allowing Brock to surprise Black with strikes to Black's quad. Black came back with an overhead throw and the spinning heel kick for the squash victory.

– After the match, Black grabbed a chair. He faced off with Arn in the ring. Arn told him to get rid of the chair and square up. Arn blocked the spinning heel kick, so Black kicked him low and hit the spinning heel kick, leaving both Andersons laying.

Lee Johnson came out, but Black wasn't interested in a fight.

NAG posted:

IcePhoenix posted:

Dacap posted:

dsriggs posted:

Eat My Fuc posted:

Remember when the Acclaimed came out and rapped "Young Cucks you can't beat us you're laughable, Trump really won we gotta storm the capital". Disgusting.

Malcolm Excellent posted:

Hey everyone I made a meme

dsriggs posted:

bebaloorpabopalo posted:

if these trends continue...

DLC Inc posted:

Matt v Orange "this wasn't very good at all" when match was great

Jamie v Velvet "both women looked great here" when velvet smashed her head with a botched moonsault

who the gently caress wrote that summary lol

DLC Inc posted:

Matt v Orange "this wasn't very good at all" when match was great

Jamie v Velvet "both women looked great here" when velvet smashed her head with a botched moonsault

who the gently caress wrote that summary lol

DLC Inc posted:

Matt v Orange "this wasn't very good at all" when match was great

Jamie v Velvet "both women looked great here" when velvet smashed her head with a botched moonsault

who the gently caress wrote that summary lol

DLC Inc posted:

Matt v Orange "this wasn't very good at all" when match was great

Jamie v Velvet "both women looked great here" when velvet smashed her head with a botched moonsault

who the gently caress wrote that summary lol

DLC Inc posted:

Matt v Orange "this wasn't very good at all" when match was great

Jamie v Velvet "both women looked great here" when velvet smashed her head with a botched moonsault

who the gently caress wrote that summary lol

Q7kid posted:

I did find it pretty impressive Velvet managed to overshoot a standing moonsault. Those are impressive ups.

MassRafTer posted:

Velvet messed up one spot in an otherwise really good match. Matt vs Orange wasn't very good it was great.

Saying Lucha Bros vs Blonds wasn't very good is the weirdest statement as it was very good! (Not great.)

Seams posted:

the f4w recapper has always been a loose unit

stab posted:

Put my boys youtube channel in the OP coward OP

Alaois posted:

also the Infallible, Undefeatable Colten Gunn makes me, personally, laugh a lot so i hope it continues in perpetuity

ARMBAR A COP posted:

Poor Lee Johnson lmao

Jerusalem posted:

All the stuff Matt and OC did with their pockets in that opening match was just great. Also goddamn Hardy looked like twice the size of OC which is crazy.

BDawg posted:

Velvet / Hayter was very good.

Blondes / Bros got waaaaay sloppy and wasn’t very good.

Dimebags Brain posted:

Undefeated Colten Gunn

MassRafTer posted:

Link it.

stab posted:

https://youtube.com/channel/UC-E3NO20UXJ13Bm5-oFrzBw

So it shall be written so it shall be done.

DLC Inc posted:

looking forward to a week of people on twitter crying about how aew is an unsafe and dangerous work environment when wwe's top woman wrestler destroyed her knee simply standing around in the training center