Danaru posted:

Speaking of Guy Mann reports, heres another from around the same time



Because of course

Harrow posted:

Yeah, Guy Mann isn't actually permabanned. He's on a 100,000-hour probation across all three of his accounts (Guy Mann, Sleeveless, and ...of SCIENCE!). That means he can still log in and read the forums on his accounts and he can still report posts.

Personally I find that so funny that I think I like the 100k a lot more than the permaban for any situation where it isn't "this poster did something actually illegal/dangerous/horrible," in which case yeah, clear-cut permaban. Cursing a terminally bad poster to 11-ish years of forum ghost status is very funny to me.

Danaru posted:

Speaking of Guy Mann reports, heres another from around the same time



Because of course

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

TIL that I'm posting champion of a very special thread in the best forum, and also that Sleeveless was there.

fake e: note that Guy A. Person is not in fact Sleeveless

Sydin posted:

Danaru posted:

I'm hoping these dead gay forums stay dead and gay enough to still be here when is 100k is up, and I hope the first thing he does is make a post so bad he gets 100k'd again

Excelzior posted:

mods are asleep

post small bart

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

fake e: note that Guy A. Person is not in fact Sleeveless

Dell_Zincht posted:

I think I posted my request in this thread ages ago, but I can't find it. I've been looking for this for over a decade now, everyone I've spoken to about it thinks I made it up, and I was convinced I was until I found someone on Goodreads asking about the exact same book.

It was a children's book, possibly a short story in an anthology. Read it in the UK when I was in primary school, so no later than 1995. My memories are that it was by a British author because of the terminology used, but I could be wrong there too.

It's about a boy who is fed up with life and wants to become a petrol pump (or gas pump.) He leaves school one day and walks for miles until he ends up by the side of a road somewhere. He sticks his finger in his ear like a pump and a man comes along and tries to pump petrol from him. The boy is nervous and can't so the man kicks him in the shins and then either he or someone else forces him to swallow an abacus(?)

Eventually the boy becomes a working petrol pump and one day his parents pump gas from him. He recognizes them but can't tell them it's him because, he's a petrol pump. One of his parents remarks that their son loved petrol pumps as they drive away.

Seriously i've tried Google, Goodreads, various other search engines and absolutely nobody knows what this story is. If someone could find out i'll happily reward them with an SA gift cert.

EDIT - I'm pretty sure it's not by Paul Jennings, even though it's exactly the sort of story he would write.

http://goodreads.com/topic/show/19562796-fantasy-unhappy-boy-turns-himself-into-a-gas-pump-commits-suicide-by posted:

UNSOLVED: One specific book > Fantasy. Unhappy boy turns himself into a gas pump (commits suicide) by doing weird things (e.g., stands still, sticks 2 fingers in ears, swallows abacus). Possibly a Short Story collection. Late 1980s/early 1990s.

Okay a weird one.

I think this was one of my younger siblings' books from the late 80's early 90s.

A boy decides to turn into a petrol pump as he is unhappy with his life. This slowly happens when he stands still, sticks 2 fingers in his ear, is made to swallow an abacus and more weird stuff. At the end his parents come along and pump gas from him without knowing it is their son.

Does anyone remember this book so that I can convince myself that I did not make this up?

Sobatchja Morda posted:

Okay, I have two obscure ones from my childhood that have been bothering me.

The first was about a bunch of kids finding some sort of magical adventure/ land in their garden. There are gnomes and fairies involved, and the bad guy was an old groundskeeper who lost a leg to gangrene. It may also have included something about a magical rose and/or key? No idea how old this book was, but I read it in the nineties. It was in Dutch, but I have a feeling it was translated because it had a very British feeling about it. Case in point, no one in their right mind would be familiar enough here with the concept of a grounds keeper to make for a good bad guy.

The second book was Dutch or Flemmish, published somewhere in the early nineties or late eighties, and featured a boy who was obsessed with gas stations. A gas station at the edge of his village has just installed a new automatic pump, and the boy is so impressed by the independence and autonomy of this new mechanism that he goes there every day to watch the gas pump. One day he runs away from home, decides to follow his dream, and goes to the gas station to become a pump himself. What follows is some weird chapters where, as the boy's conviction grows, his body slowly starts transforming into a gas pump. He's humanshaped, but shiny and chrome with a pump handle for a right arm. He takes great pride in this transformation and so does the book, which lovingly describes the changing seasons that bring rain and darkness but cannot lay a finger on his metal perfection.

I want to say I just imagined this, but I distinctly remember it being one of the first books that 7 year old Sobatchja didn't want to finish and trying to return it to the school library. But the teacher didn't let you return books until you finished them, so it was back to the old gas pump for me.

wizzardstaff posted:

Every time the gas pump boy comes up in this thread I want to find it, but search results are just other people looking for it on reddit/goodreads/this thread. I’m starting to get Candle Cove vibes from it, honestly.

Khizan posted:

I was thinking this myself.

I bet if you go ask your parents about that story, they'll laugh about how you used to just look at an empty notebook while you made up all these stories about a boy who turned into a gas pump.

wizzardstaff posted:

Update on the "boy turns into a petrol pump" saga. Truths have been revealed! Posters in this very thread are implicated as CIA psyop agents spreading disinformation about a book that never existed!

http://www.thecourieronline.co.uk/petrol-stein-or-the-modern-polybius-the-strange-world-of-internet-book-searching

Sobatchja Morda posted:

I found it! I found the goddamn boy-turns-into-a-gasspump book!

I did a little dip into the national library archives and managed to track down the Dutch version of it. The book is called "Super-Brikke". It was written by two Flemish auteurs called Michel Smets and Walter Oliviers, with illustrations by Dirk Lodewijckx. It was published in 1986 by a publishinghouse named Delta. For more details, see here.

Now, I am absolutely certain this is the book that I read as a kid. It ticks all the boxes, from subject to time period. What bothers me, however, is that it was indeed Flemish. So how did this absurd story make its way across the world?

EDIT: VVV Yes! That would make sense, considering Belgium is divided into French and Dutch-speaking areas. I asked the publisher if they have any more information for me, awaiting there answer now.

dflinter posted:

I found the English version!

It's called Super Giles!



I've ordered a copy from Amazon for prosterity

dflinter posted:

Bad news guys

As I mentioned in my post with the pic, I bought the book

Unfortunately the seller contacted me this morning to say it was in worse condition that originally thought (it was missing 2 pages) and they offered me a refund or another book

I asked could they send it to me as I didn't care about the condition, only to be told they sent it to get pulped and can no longer retrieve it

dflinter posted:

Yeah I would be skeptical too!

See some screenshots for proof

https://imgur.com/a/eidl4QN

dflinter posted:

Some scans have been posted: https://www.reddit.com/r/Whang/comments/pbz2k2/we_have_scans_for_superbrikke_thanks_to_nore_on/

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

They got scans, and the person scanning couldn't be bothered to get a picture of the kid AS the gas pump?

dflinter posted:

I believe it was a worker in the library that did it and they were only allowed to scan the first 18 pages or something

Honey Trap Queen posted:

Thread screwed up for anyone else?

E: nevermind

IGgy IGsen posted:

I'll do it. I'll post small bart. Just you wait. I gotta get ready for it though.

Sham bam bamina! posted:

TBB has been having quite the saga over the past year:
...

quote:

Dirk Lodewijckx

Captain Hygiene posted:

Coupons and Deals hitting critical mass and attempting a forums coup, only to fail and ultimately restructure as an Amazon referral-focused offsite that occasionally makes snide comments about this place.

there wolf posted:

Yes, the majority of pedophiles know acting on the impulse would be terrible and so they don't do it, instead indulging in it through media and roleplaying with other adults. As much as it sucks, it's likely that sexual attraction to prepubescents is a hardcoded sexuality the way hetero and homosexuality are, in which case the proshippers have a point that having that sort of content serves a social good, providing an outlet for desires that cannot be actually realized.

But thats one part of what would be a complex argument even for reasonable adults. In fandom it's a loving nightmare sucking in a whole whole host of toxic behaviors that have been normalized in that space.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS PERMABANNED FOR THIS POST)

Acerbatus posted:

Next time you cuss him out could you let him know someone's using his twitter to retweet misato loving a 14 year old? feels like something you wouldn't want associated with the WarkSaySA account.

Paladinus posted:

thecluckmeme posted:

Looks like I have to bookmark the next Sagas thread so I can enjoy the next meltdown

Ugly In The Morning posted:

I'm gonna kick the thread off with a lesser known favorite of mine: ten or eleven years ago, a goon posted his attempt to win a game of Hearts by shooting the moon four times in a row. For those of you that don't play Hearts, it's a card game where the goal is to have the lowest score when someone breaks 100 points. You get points by getting stuck with cards (each heart is a point, the queen of spades is 13 points). You don't want to get stuck with cards... unless you can get ALL the cards. If you "shoot the moon" like that, everyone else gets all 26 points. Doing it once is hard but doable. Doing it twice in a game, very hard. Doing it four times in a row is goddamn nearly impossible.

It took months but the goon pulled it off.. Then got perma'd two years later on a Ron Paul toxx.

ilmucche posted:

it got swallowed up in the last thread but I love this story of someone who wanted to add a new bedroom to their rendted apartment:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3779396

Paladinus posted:

quote:

I'm so sorry to have offended your delicate sensibilities. All I have to go on is about 10 years of people lining up to fellate me after trying my chili.

Lucky for you there's an entirely other chili thread dedicated to pretentiousness! Feel free to go there and exchange tips on bras.

quote:

Anything to get the taste out of their mouth, I suppose.

quote:

it's simply black lettering on a white background

it said "CALL THE POLICE ON GRANOS"

quote:

its funny that your opening salvo is partially about ant balls because "partial, ant-sized" is a good description of your testicle situation irl

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Lowtax change it so that unregistered users can't list forums in the panel. Some piece of logic in the code decided that not being able to list forums means it should show the banned page. The banned page shows your username - it'd say something like "CONGRATULATIONS fishmech!!!". However, logged in users do not have a username, and get set to a default one. Thanks to literally radium, this default was "Unregistered human being".

I turned off the "logged out users can't see forums" setting for now, and pushed this patch to remove the slurs:

code:

commit 077765fc017446469f9f51025de87b78ec3d3f79
Author: Jeffrey of YOSPOS <JeffreyOfYOSPOS@gmail.com>
Date:   Wed Jan 1 16:32:41 2020 -0600

    remove radium slurs from code

diff --git a/include/authbbuser.php b/include/authbbuser.php
index ca6c718..eca9c16 100644
--- a/include/authbbuser.php
+++ b/include/authbbuser.php
@@ -84,7 +84,7 @@ function bbuser_init($bbuserid, $bbpassword, $ip_address) {
        // if we didn't get a user above, make a guest (yes, this is still required)
        if(!($bbuserinfo[usergroupid])) {
                $bbuserinfo['userid'] = 0;
-               $bbuserinfo['username'] = 'Unregistered human being';
+               $bbuserinfo['username'] = 'Unregistered User';
                $bbuserinfo['daysprune'] = -1;
                $bbuserinfo['timezoneoffset'] = $bbuserinfo['showvbcode'] = 0;
                $bbuserinfo['usergroupid'] = $bbuserinfo['showsmilies'] = $bbuserinfo['showsignatures'] = $bbuserinfo['showavatars'] = $bbuserinfo['showimages'] = 1;
diff --git a/include/global.php b/include/global.php
index 245385d..9ddcf0f 100644
--- a/include/global.php
+++ b/include/global.php
@@ -207,7 +207,7 @@ if ($is_dev_mode && in_array($bbuserinfo['usergroupid'], array(6)) && isset($_GE
                $g = 1;
                $bbuserinfo = array(
                        'userid' => 0,
-                       'username' => 'Unregistered human being',
+                       'username' => 'Unregistered User',
                        'daysprune' => -1,
                        'timezoneoffset' => 0,
                        'showvbcode' => 0,

Lucavi posted:

The smallest bart - - - > .

pentyne posted:

Ugly In The Morning posted:

It’s been at the 3-4 hundred page mark at the last two, so you have plenty of time to anticipate. I swear it’s an august thing, like the heat gets to people and they just create as much internet drama as possible.

Empty Sandwich posted:

Fantastic Foreskin posted:

UITM asked about 'xcom chess guy', but you can't quote closed threads on the app so here's the thread. Good stuff starts on page 4, high gear on page 5.

Coolguye posted:

so finally, i came up with an incredibly moronic system that encouraged normal threadgoers to yell at people arguing about stupid bullshit to 'settle it the usual way' - the usual way was a game of chess. whoever won the game of chess would be right on the internet for 3 days and everyone could move on. my hope was that i could get mod support to sixer someone if they refused to play their chess game and kept arguing inconsolably. i DM'd videogames to explain the situation and invite input. waited a week, got no response. so i figured, like before, no help was coming, and amended it to encouraging the thread to ruthlessly clown on chronic arguers as 'idiot coward ratfuckers', regardless of their views.

it worked. the worst complainers whined to me but after i was called out for arguing about my reasoning and immediately shut up/linked lichess to be accountable to my own rules, they all peaced. then videogames came in a week after the posting and made this weird as gently caress post that made it clear they hadn't read a single word in the thread or that i'd sent them. literally everyone in the thread ignored it because it was nonsensical.