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At uni parties were always primarily attended by the same extended group and we had this real issue where someone kept showing up and dropping upper deckers in the toilet. We never found out who it was and I’m not kidding it must have been every party this happened. Another party story, we once had this party that was heavily advertised on social media because the host still lived at home and his parents never went away often or anything. So when they finally did go away for the weekend he wanted to go hard with a party at his place. Anyway because of the marketing he did there were a whole manner of shady characters showing up including this drug dealer who sat in the corner with his buddies and dealt for most of the evening. At one point this girl went over and started giving him poo poo “drugs are bad” and all that and he eventually got sick of hearing it and punched her in the face. A few guys jumped up to defend her and the dealer pulled out a gun. Everyone backed up and he walked out of the house still pointing the gun around and him and his buddies got into a car and started to drive away. Suddenly this guy from my class who had missed all the context of what was going on but had figured out someone was basically being ejected from the party came running out of the kitchen holding a fork. He ran right out of the front door with it and hurled it at the car bouncing it off the back window shouting “and don’t come back!” Luckily they didn’t.
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Sep 11, 2021 01:21
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Spinz posted:Nice that you went Your av is great Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:I saw a horse non-committally blast diarrhea over an entire stable wall and it literally arched up and down like someone was strafing a hose over the wall. The horse didn't react in any way whatsoever It reacted by doing diarrhea on the wall
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Sep 11, 2021 06:09
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I once argued down an incel chud who was going on about women's proper place and how he would fire them as a construction foreman to the degree that a man two feet taller thane shook my hand and congratulated after class. to this day I swear I must have made this memory up
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Sep 11, 2021 06:22
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I did a lot of really illegal poo poo but it was pretty much all cool and or funny and also i didnt get in trouble so totally worth it
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Sep 11, 2021 07:45
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we had a shower shitter too but we all thought it was this one frat dude that would take showers on our floor but lived 2 stories up. speaking of frats a grand total of 3 of them were derecognized by the school when i was there. my freshman year i knew this fat kid who would watch the gameshow network, play smash bros melee, and never shower. he went through 3 roommates and the last one was never home. one day roomate's mom came and said he was in the hospital. i found out later he pledged a frat that made him carry a feces smeared boulder through the woods. he had to do pushups in piss soaked garbage and got hep c. a year later i was smoking weed with the dude that made him do it and he was talking about how he did time for it. it was weird.
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Sep 11, 2021 08:07
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I moved into a house close to campus with some classmates in my final year. When we took a look at the place, the living room had footprints on the ceiling from people doing kegstands, and what would be my bedroom had a dent in the drywall in the shape of a person. All of this was repaired by the time we moved in, because our landlord was actually a kinda decent guy who knew he was renting these cookie-cutter houses to students. He came by one time to see how we were doing, took a look at all the beer bottles and bongs littering the common area, and earnestly exclaimed "wow you guys are clean compared to the last guys,!" I'll never forget 501 Second Street. We were music recording students and one of us got elected VP Entertainment at the college, so we had some raging parties. Another roommate had a massive JBL PA that we hooked up blaring music straight out the front door. One time we put a smoke machine in the bathroom.
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Sep 11, 2021 08:13
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Attending lots of lectures while on  Throwing an ancient projector from the 10th floor window of the main tower on campus (just because, although possibly the aforementioned might have had something to do with it)
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Sep 11, 2021 09:00
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A cow casually stepped on some girl's leg while she was sitting down and she screamed in agony and she came back with a cast lmao. The cows owned.
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Sep 11, 2021 09:10
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I had 2 pieces of art stolen during college. First was a reproduction of a Beksinski in pencil that was taken from the gallery. I'm pretty good with pencils and it only took a few hours, so I thought it was kinda funny and flattering. The teacher was incredibly apologetic. Second was a reproduction of a Da Vinci sketch. I'm bad with charcoal, so I popped an addy and spent 14 hours straight on it. I was super loving pleased, got an A, and it got submitted to the student gallery... and it disappeared. It never showed up in the gallery, I guess somehow vanishing once I handed it in. I still suspect my teacher and I'm still pissed about it nearly 10 years on. He was just so goddamn unhelpful.
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Sep 11, 2021 11:55
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I have over a decade of college stories since I am a man-child who decided that graduate school would be a good idea. My first roommate was an interesting guy. There are probably a couple of dozen stories I could tell you about him, but I'll just tell the first one that comes to mind. He was a classics major who was real into Plato. He had a background in IT, but had given up on that when the company he worked for laid him off. This guy refused to wash dishes. He thought it was "women's work" and probably thought that the act of cleaning made him "gay". I have OCD, specifically around contamination (mostly related to human waste, but it generalizes to filth of all kinds to a lesser degree). So, out of my obsessive need to keep the apartment clean, I always washed the dishes since I knew he wouldn't do it. Halfway through the year, I was really busy and he had used literally all our pans and plates to make and eat a pasta bake (i.e., pasta + tomato sauce + cheese baked until tasty), leaving a pile of pasta-caked pans and plates laying in the sink. I was too busy to do the dishes, but I felt the obsessive need to clean them. So, I stood there for a few minutes just staring at them. He walks in from his weekly Magic: the Gathering draft and asks me what I'm doing and why I'm not washing the dishes (like I'm his servant or something). I explain the conflict I'm experiencing and he makes a big deal about how he can't wash the dishes. He can't lose his "man card" or the boys at the game shop will think less of him. I suggest that he does it this one time, that no one will find out. He instead says "It's OK man, I've got this" and he just takes one of the half-soaked, pasta-encrusted plates from the sink and begins fixing himself dinner ON THAT PLATE. Not only was it encrusted with probably day-old food, but it had been "soaking" in the sink, so it was really wet. Disgusting.
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Sep 11, 2021 12:11
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I was at a party with a couple of friends, one of whom was a tall, good-looking dude named Scott. We were dancing when some guy walked up and handed Scott two pills without a word, just a grin and a "Hey man!" and then dancing off in some other direction. Scott immediately ate both of them. I said, "What are those?" He said, "I don't know." I said, "Who was that?" He said, "I don't know."
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Sep 11, 2021 12:38
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Folks on my dorm floor built an igloo that people from the three nearby dorms would go in to hotbox. It even became furnished by strangers with a rug and candles. On the day of the Superbowl, while the rest of the floor was watching the big game, my roommate and I threw a Puppy Bowl Party. It was probably the biggest party thrown on that floor all year, like a dozen people at a time crammed into the little dorm room partying real hard. We had a friend who was into parkour and spraying tags. He taught us how to climb up to the top of some of the buildings around campus, which we did a lot. One time I smoked a bowl while watching him do a tag, then we ran away when we saw public safety. Later on he learned that public safety was on to him so he showed up at my dorm room to stash "evidence" like his sketchbooks, then went and turned himself in lol
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Sep 11, 2021 13:35
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One of my mates I met at uni had basically never gotten drunk before and for the first few months he'd get absolutely smashed every time we went out, and every time he'd have these epic explosive puking sessions. Usually he'd make it to the bathrooms or toilets but sometimes it would just happen in a corridor or whatever, but every time by the end of it he'd be sat cross legged in the middle of the mess he'd made with his head in his hands and just go to sleep. We'd stay with him to make sure he was ok, although when he'd wake up it was like his body had been reset and he'd want to start drinking again.
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Sep 11, 2021 14:16
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I was in college in the early 90's, a time when students having a personal computer in their dorm room was actually kind of rare, so there were computer labs located throughout campus where you had to go to type/print papers, surf the Usenet groups, etc. Most of these computers were pretty crappy - absolute minimum specs, abused by everyone, and overused. I was an engineering student at the time, and I found a small lab in the basement of the engineering building that had some pretty impressive computers (at the time) that were reserved for upperclassmen who needed the computers for CAD classes. I never saw more than 3-4 of the computers in use at any time. The lab was available 24 hours, unsupervised, and you accessed it by swiping your student ID through a card reader at the door. One day, I tried all the cards that I had with magstripes on the door, and discovered that if I swiped my ATM card through the reader backwards, the door would unlock. So I basically had my own private computer lab for 2 years until I got my own computer (a Mac Classic II with 4mb of ram and an 80mb hard drive!) I also got stupid drunk and threw up more times than I care to remember. One time I got stupid drunk, got lost trying to take a shortcut back to the dorm through a large cemetery, threw up, and passed out/slept on a stone bench next to a mausoleum til the next morning.
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Sep 11, 2021 14:34
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Guy on the same floor as me in the dorms started out aiming to become a priest. By the end of the first semester, he was an alcoholic who smoked a pack a day, and had gotten engaged to a girl he'd gotten pregnant, then dropped out without completing any classes. It's amazing what drinking does to some people. Another guy on my floor was a Polish DJ who had an entire suitcase full of vinyl records that he'd wheel around campus, with his turntables in another suitcase. He'd just set himself up in whatever auditorium had an audio system and play trance and electro as loud as possible. He tried to get out of doing some term assignments by claiming that he'd had to go back to Poland for heart surgery, but none of his teachers believed him. His dad, this really old Polish guy who spoke limited English, came by when we were all moving out, trying to find him, and ended up taking his computer as punishment. He spent the next semester bumming computer access off of everyone else on the floor, and then disappeared into the ether.
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Sep 11, 2021 15:13
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We were fortunate enough to have an elevator shitter in our Freshman dorm.
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Sep 11, 2021 15:15
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darrell hammond performed stand up at our freshman orientation. he ended with MLK's "i have a dream" speech. first day, the first two people i see are a little person and a woman with a full beard once tripped going into a building and fell clean out of my shoes. backpack flew off over my head, and i was laid out across the hall. several people stepped over me. fell asleep on the bus ride home (i still lived w my parents at the time) and took a round trip. lost my wallet on the bus, had to get a ride from one of my dad's weird friends to the office to pick it up. surprisingly nothing had been taken. watched the second tower fall in the college's on campus theater. i went home immediately after one of my teachers asked why i hadn't been in class on 9/11
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Sep 11, 2021 16:25
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EDIT:    Found this Somebody fucked around with this message at 00:41 on Sep 12, 2021 |
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Sep 11, 2021 17:13
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Went to Rutgers and sold an incredible amount of weed. If you went there in the late 00s and smoked, odds are it was the stuff I brought in. Long story short we got ripped off for all we we were worth, and when it was time to decide if we were gangsters or not, my answer was "no" so I cut my losses and left the country for 6 months. When i got back everyone in my crew was hooked on heroin.
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Sep 11, 2021 18:33
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I knew this crippled drug dealer named Joneszy who was a cross between tiny tim and eric cartman. He was one of those people you meet in life and realize that there are truly bad people in the world. He literally tried to get a girl addicted to Molly so he could, in his words, turn her into his sex slave. He wasn't a good guy. He would sell drugs and was one of those dudes that would weigh the bag on the scale and it's all twigs when you get home. After a while of ripping people off with abandon, he became hated by almost everyone. Because nobody really wants to beat the poo poo out of a dude with crutches, we all just kinda tolerated him. He was also a bizarre dude. He wanted so desperately to fit in but he was also such a terrible human nobody really wanted to be around him. He had this habit of completely changing his personality. When I met him he was this boston dude who loved the red sox. He went through a gangster phase, a cowboy phase, a frat boy phase, a super catholic phase, and a club kid phase after that. Because of his overall shittiness, people would go out of his way to gently caress with him in every conceivable fashion. One time I was at his window buying drugs and someone took those vinyl gloves and filled it to bursting with ketchup. They slid the opening underneath his door and then jumped on it, spraying ketchup all over Joneszy's dorm. Joneszy, who had crutches, would get off his chair and rush to the door and slip while shouting various slurs because he thought the local black fraternity chapter was out to ruin his life. He thought that because he sold bum acid tabs to one of their breakdancers. Prank calls, pizza, signing up for church events, you name it. If anyone ever was caught with weed they'd say they bought it from Joneszy regardless, which eventually caused him to leave campus. He graduated 9 years later after going to prison and working at a store in the mall. ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD fucked around with this message at 20:22 on Sep 11, 2021 |
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Sep 11, 2021 20:15
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Head Bee Guy posted:
Dam did you eat all that?
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Sep 11, 2021 20:16
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Four friends and I rented one of their dad's "income properties," and the bathroom in the basement was unfinished, so we grew weed in there. It did vent out so we had good airflow and we carbon filtered it all. Rest of the basement was finished, and that's where we smoked weed and played video games all the time anyway, so weed stink was pretty constant anyway. All our friends knew the bathroom didn't work, so the constantly closed/locked door didn't ever raise any suspicion. One of our friends came by to visit us on his fall break, came down to the basement and the first thing he said was "why is that door closed? You guys are growing weed in there aren't you?" We let no one know, no friends, no significant others, but this guy home for a week from seven states away took two steps into the basement and absolutely called us on our poo poo.
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Sep 11, 2021 20:30
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One of the housemates was in a small (50 or 60 member) fraternity, so it wasn't uncommon that house parties would have a fair share of those guys there. One party, I think the dude's name was Matt, I guess was sick but was gonna party anyway. In the middle of making GBS threads diarrhea, had to throw up, and stood up to turn around to throw up in the toilet while continuing to poo poo, getting poo poo on the shower curtain and wall, getting part of his puke on the sink, floor, and some in the toilet full of his poo poo. Matt didn't come to any more of our parties.
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Sep 11, 2021 20:38
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Ventral EggSac posted:Your av is great I have no idea who did it or where its from but i love it to death
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Sep 11, 2021 21:05
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Das Boo posted:I had 2 pieces of art stolen during college. Oh MAN 14 hrs A medium thats not your best and a good result  :sob:
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Sep 11, 2021 21:08
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There was an abandoned train tunnel near my college campus, the entrances of which were covered up with massive steel walls after the events I’m about to describe. It was a long dark walk to the other end where there was the remnants of an old bridge. The tunnel was a hangout for kids who did graffiti and drugs or just wanted to explore a creepy urban place. In the spring of my freshman year, people at my school organized a huge party there one night. This was art school, not your typical frat boy kegger so there was fire and drumming and costumes and giant paper mache puppets and beer and crazyness. Like a mini burning man in the entrance of a slimy tunnel. After a while, campus security showed up. There were only four or five of them confronting several hundred partying students. Security started yelling and pushing people around and the kids went nuts. One security guy, a known rear end in a top hat, grabbed a kid’s video camera and smashed it. The kid told him that the camera was property of the film department and security rear end in a top hat answered back “your parents paid for it, so who gives a poo poo”. Security was outnumbered and the crowd was throwing poo poo at them so they called the actual cops. Cops showed up, blocked people from exiting the tunnel and began pepper spraying everyone. Those of us who were a little farther inside the tunnel said gently caress this and turned around and started running into the darkness toward the other end. Maybe a half mile? It seemed like a long rear end tunnel. Some arrests were made and the crowd that remained started rioting. Police cars were damaged. I was among the group that got the gently caress out of there. The aftermath was a huge local news story where I poo poo you not they tried to spin the party as having been a loving satanic ritual. There was a loving priest on tv wandering around where the party had been saying hmm yes, see these marks on this wall are used by devil worshippers to blah blah blah... It was so stupid. Fast forward to the end of my senior year. This was when visual arts students had their final shows in various gallery spaces around campus. The kid who had his camera smashed at the freshman year party had an installation piece set up which was actually a booby trap meant for the rear end in a top hat security guy who had done the smashing. He somehow convinced the security guy to enter one of the gallery rooms which had the lights turned off and told him stand on an x made of tape in the center of the room. He obliged. The lights came on to reveal security guy standing in a locked cage next to a small table with donuts on it. A looped audio recording made on the night of the party/riot three years earlier was playing of the security guy shouting “your parents paid for it, so who gives a poo poo”. This same phrase was also painted on the wall. The guy was thoroughly owned and it was awkward as gently caress. He didn’t even get mad, just stood there looking owned while people stood around chatting and nibbling appetizers.
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Sep 11, 2021 22:03
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Other things that took place while I was in art school that were passed off as “projects”: A guy made a video of himself shoving ball bearings up his peehole then ejaculating them into a glass container, making a “ding” sound as they rolled through little tubes. Same guy, naked from the waist down with his legs covered in cake frosting and sprinkles cut a hole in a butternut squash and had sex with it in front of the class. Went on way too long because he couldn’t cum. Another guy who went around asking other guys to ejaculate into plastic baggies which he arranged artfully on a wall. Menstrual blood painting of course. Penis candles. A piñata filled with road kill animal parts. A guy made a film in which he faked suicide by hanging. The film was brought to the class by someone else who didn’t know what it was. It was shown to the class and everyone believed it and loving freaked out, then he showed up like “surprise!” and people were pissed. That guy might have gotten expelled.
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Sep 11, 2021 22:11
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Day 1: guy who for lack of better memory and phrasing dressed and acted like a well-to-do "bro" stereotype with his identically dressed roomie/friends loads a bunch of a/v equipment and toys straight out of a Skymall catalogue including a large late 00s-era mounted flatscreen into the room to the right of mine. Day 3: i get up to pee at 3? AM to be greeted by cops in riot gear telling me to go back inside. Could hear them knock down the door and line up the guy and friends. According to the RA the same guy had been shooting people from his window (we were a few stories up) with an air rifle. Guess he thought he was Amon Göth.
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Sep 11, 2021 23:08
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Was disillusioned pretty quickly by a lack of sleep in freshman dorms. If it wasn't the once a week midnight fire alarm, it was our neighbors lit it the gently caress up starting at 11pm. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. Knocking on the door to ask them to keep it quiet never worked of course. Nobody else on the floor seemed to mind although there were rumblings and rumors about both our neighbor and floor itself having a reputation on campus. One morning bring awoken at 1am, I'd had enough. I called the RA. When he answered groggily "whassup?" I hung up and called again. Repeatedly. Finally there was an incredible banging at our neighbors door. We heard the festivities come to a din as the door opened and we heard the RA shout at the top of his lungs: "THAT IS A KEG! AND I WANT IT! GIVE IT TO ME NOW!" A week later I moved out, claiming that my parents were experiencing a hardship with their business and therefore I needed to move back about 15 miles a way and would have to commute. In reality I moved into a new apartment with a non college friend. My now former roommate recounted an incident later in the semester where he dreamed a helicopter crashed into the building. It was so realistic he woke up in a sweat to hear....a loving helicopter crashing into the building! Nope just the idiots next door doing who knows what the hell. The next day he saw one of them in the bathroom who apologized "Sorry bruh, my roomie got all surly and was throwing the keg against the wall."
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Sep 11, 2021 23:53
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guy asked me to come hang out at the end of a night out, he & roommates did a DJ set then we sat down as I beat him at the deadliest warrior game until 5/6 am, as he just got angrier and angrier about losing
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Sep 12, 2021 00:11
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kntfkr posted:I lived in the river dorms my freshman year of Rutgers. New Brunswick is a horrible city. The sky is never black at night, always purple or orange. There was this parking deck across from our dorm with these hideous orange lights. There was a stash of cinder blocks near some new construction around the lecture halls about a half mile down the road. We got a group together one night and trekked the cinderblocks up the 6 flights to the top of the parking garage and dropped them onto the orange lights, destroying them... Hey fellow Rutgers grad. I stayed at river dorms for about a week, because my other dorm had to be renovated after hurricane Sandy. Me and my roommate were staying there during the storm and we were on the top floor. The next morning we woke up to see a bunch of people in sleeping in the hallway and in the common room. parts of the roof had been ripped off and water leaked in to people's rooms. We must've been one of the only rooms that was spared. After that we walked to my roommate's brother's apartment on one of the other campuses. It felt post-apocalyptic, but then, I'd never been to florida or louisiana and seen serious hurricane poo poo. Got a week off of school after that, and the following week i stayed in those buildings. Also, I smoked a lot of weed.
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Sep 12, 2021 02:13
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I went to the most boring college on the planet, where people only sad-drank, the weed was basil, and 'parties' were depressing bouts of sitting on the floor in the dark while one guy sits with his back turned to us playing WoW the entire time. It doesn't help that it was right through the hight of the abstinence movement and this was post-industry death Ohio so that didn't make things better. On another note i'm a severe introvert and i read lots of books and got good grades and had arguably the happiest years of my life.
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Sep 13, 2021 03:32
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Across the dorm hallway lived Pink and Blue. It was 2008 so popped collar polos were the standard attire for poo poo head frat bros. These two both wore pink and blue polos, every single day, thus their names. They were tied at the hip and did everything together. In a way, they reminded me of my situation where my childhood friend and I chose to room through college. Also, Pink and Blue weren't the ones rolling Pringles cans of poo poo down the hall or pissing over the shower stall walls while the person next to them bathed, so I paid them very little mind. One day, Pink got a girlfriend. Slowly, they stopped hanging out as much. I'd see/smell Pink and his girlfriend walking to the cafeteria reeking of sweat and cum, then soon see Blue walking back to his room. One day, I saw Blue and Pink's girlfriend talking in the cafeteria. I thought that maybe they were patching things up and coming to an understanding. That was until I saw the inverse of the normal: Pink walking back to the dorm, Blue and Pink's girlfriend walking out smelling like sex and cum. That night, I woke up to someone loudly banging against my door. I thought it was some random rear end in a top hat and only got up to check after the 4th or 5th time. When I opened the door, I found Pink's hands around Blue's neck, and Blue's hands around Pink's neck. The two were rolling around the floor, trying to strangle each other. They'd slowly pass out, then get back up to start punching each other again. The next day, I saw Pink packing his poo poo. I never saw him again. Blue and PInk's girlfriend stayed together for the rest of the year. I don't think I ever saw them again, probably because they got a different color polo.
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Sep 13, 2021 05:52
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My employer paid me to study a diploma in surveying 1 day a week. Because of that setup it took me 4 years to do a 2 year course. There was never more than 1 female student enrolled at any one time. The woman I interacted with the most was the course manager. Everyone was already working so there were no parties or dorm living. I don't have any stories.
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Sep 13, 2021 08:29
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The very first weekend, a girl that was a few floors up from me went completely nuts. She started marching up and down the staircases of the dorm, demanding people "party" with her. A couple of guys on my floor cautiously went out to see what was going on, she was barely able to stand up and her roommate was trying and failing to get her to come back upstairs. Campus security got called after she set off a fire extinguisher in another floor, she started throwing punches at the guards and got expelled. I was in a class with her roommate and asked what happened, she said the girl had a really religious upbringing and just went completely nuts being unsupervised for the first time in her life. I was also in the engineering program (lol) so 95% of my classmates were guys and at least half of them were some of the strangest people I'd ever met up until that point.
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Sep 13, 2021 14:08
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I went to college early in a concurrent enrollment program at a small liberal arts university. The year after I left to go on to greener university pastures, one of the guys who I knew, but avoided because he was obsessed with Hitman games and constantly talked about murder, cut the head off of a stray dog, left it on a girl's porch and threatened to shoot up the University. Anyway he's out of prison now and he's apparently Very Normal which is why I'm glad I don't live anywhere near there anymore.
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Sep 13, 2021 14:49
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Another "fun" college story: I dated a girl who was a couple of years older than me, but her parents were fundamentalist baptists so she never even mentioned me to them as anything more than a friend. Her parents caught her with booze and, uh, me, and kicked her out. She lived with me for a couple of weeks, then had a "religious awakening" and moved back in with her parents, dropped out, got married a few months later and pumped out 7 or 8 kids. I assume she never mentioned to her now-husband her tawdry past of eating pussy like it's the last food on earth. Last I heard they're youth pastors at some mega church in Michigan.
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Sep 13, 2021 14:56
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A couple of the most unique kids in the engineering program in college. One kid said he never learned how to study and started flunking every one of his classes. Instead of asking for help (like a lot of us had to) he just played WoW constantly and slept through his classes. He fell asleep in Chem one time, then very violently woke up and knocked over his chair and like 5 other chairs in the process. Our professor tried to stay professional but she started laughing and he just walked out the door (which was probably the best move). He dropped out after one semester. Another kid loved "pranks", but every one of these pranks was just the grossest thing imaginable. He pissed all over a cookie sheet, froze it, then slid the pee sheet under our RA's door. One time I was peeing at the urinal, he walked up to me and started peeing on my shoes. Another kid was in the shower and this guy came in and started spraying ketchup and mustard all over him. I don't know where he ended up though, I moved out of that dorm after freshman year.
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Sep 13, 2021 15:24
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Ultimate frisbee was popular. If you play it in the dark you need a disc with lights or it will smash you in the face and give you a bloody nose. It looks cool to dive and "lay out" for throws. Do not do this on cement or you will have both your hands in bandages. Both of these were the same guy.
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Sep 13, 2021 16:39
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| # ? May 22, 2024 12:46 |
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A Fancy Hat posted:He pissed all over a cookie sheet, froze it, then slid the pee sheet under our RA's door. brilliant
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Sep 13, 2021 17:11
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