Dr.D-O posted:

One time, I was dating a medical student.

About halfway through the school year, we were at a local coffee shop studying and this guy I've never met before shows up and starts talking to the med student like they're in a relationship. I shoot her a look and she gives me a "talk about it later" signal. This other guy then goes and orders coffee.

I ask her who the guy is and she says "that's my boyfriend", which immediately makes me irrationally angry. She goes on to explain that she's always been dating this guy and just never told me. In other words, she's been cheating on him with me.

The boyfriend starts heading back to our table. I start to panic and pack my stuff up to leave. I'm polite to him but so flustered that the whole interaction barely registers.

Later that day the med student texts me and explains that she's "polyamorous" but that her boyfriend just doesn't know that because it would make him uncomfortable. She begs for me to stay with her.

I told her that she's a terrible person and should really tell her boyfriend what she's done and cut contact. She later inserted herself into my friend group through another friend, only to stalk me and harass the girl I dated after her (mostly by following her around the city and staring at her).

She's a GP at the local children's hospital now and I am terrified of running into her again, especially if I have to go there with my family.

me posted:

The Most Excellent and Lamentable Tragedie of Fladi and Florge.

Fladi was a sheltered Brahmin chick from a hideously depressing city in the Rust Belt. Florge was probably the Funny Guy Who is Cute Enough in his hometown of Crotchspittle, Ontario. Population roughly three cornfields and probably a Coffee Time. I'm barely changing their names because who cares.

They made out on the third night of Frosh Week. This meant, to Fladi, that they loved each other 5eva and were dating. To Florge, it was a Wednesday. This did not turn out well.

Fladi started haunting him. I won't even say stalking. She was dickmatized so hard (by no dick) that she basically became a ghost. He and his roommate had a habit of leaving their door open so people could hang out; she would just come in, sit on Florge's bed, and stare quietly at the wall until he returned. Florge's roommate started closing the door when Florge wasn't there, so Fladi would wait outside. All day. For two weeks. Did she go to class? she also spent an assload of money on buying him poo poo, which he kept.

Florge, to his credit, eventually sat her down and said rather nicely that they were not dating and he wanted to be friends. So, yay! They were friends! So she continued to wait for him and buy him poo poo and cook food for him, because they were friends. Good work, Florge.

About a month later, Florge was visited by his friend Flob. Fladi happily made out with Flob, who never called her back. A while later, Shoulder Guy** came to visit. He also never called, although that may have been due to Meat Poisoning from the shoulder particles he had ingested.

Fast forward to November. Florge has a girlfriend! She never knew why Fladi suddenly started sitting with her in class and calling her her best friend. To Flwhateverhernamewas's credit, she was gracious towards Fladi.

My 19th birthday! I am drunk because, hello, 19th birthday. I did start drunk-crying because I had never been drunk before. I was also laughing while I cried.

Fladi was not laughing. My last memory of her from that night was her lying prone on the floor with her arms wrapped around Florge's leg, scream-crying, as he awkwardly dragged himself towards the door. That was when we decided, as a party, that we had all had enough.

Also I drunk-dialed my mom and was basically David After Dentist: "Is this gonna be forever?!"

After that, Fladi kept mostly to herself. She would sit outside Florge's girlfriend's room, with a chair and a book, and wait politely for them to quit fuckin' and let her back in. Ever had a cat that liked to watch you gently caress, so you put it outside? Yeah...

Fladi failed everything and eventually flunked out, but not until after she went to a toga party, got wasted, and fell headfirst into a stone fireplace. Her toga fell off. She was naked underneath.

Florge ended up dating our Don's mother's student (in HIGH SCHOOL; she was 18, but uhhhhh) and now I think he has like a bunch of kids and that's all I know. Fladi got arranged-engaged like three times, eventually moved to the South, and is a dentist.

Ibexaz posted:

I was in the bathroom at the math building cleaning the gunk off a fresh tattoo that covers a good chunk of my arm. Some guy walks in and starts chatting with me about it sayin stuff like "Ah bro fresh ink?? Nice bro did it hurt at all? Yeah it can sting bro I like those lines though real good work bro. First one? Niiice welcome to the club bro! How long did it take? Six hours? Wow you must sit real good, I almost tapped out of mine. Check it out" and he rolled up his shirt sleeve and flexed and he had the word Ubuntu written in cursive on his inner bicep

Mozi posted:

1998 is the year of linux on the bicep

Ups_rail posted:

I was/am/is naïve

I had my philosophy proffessor a nice woman who went to smith college ask me to get her pot...."to make into tea for her poor cat that happened to have cancer"


Here's the thing I didnt smoke pot....yet I scored for her and believed her story for going on 20 years then one day I thought to myself....would she lie about the cat?...

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Philosophy profs should really have their own hookups.

Origin posted:

I was stuck downtown in a sports riot for the Red Sox. It started after someone shot flares at the police. Nothing makes you know how well you can run than making sure you stay in front of a stampede of people.

I saw my douchebag roommate and his girlfriend get hosed down with pepper spray. Yeah, that night was awesome.

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

One time we had a party in the common room and we didn't clean it up before the cleaner came in. She left us an angry note that was kind of dramatic? I mean, she was not wrong. Most of us sought her out to apologize, but my lovely roommate decided to correct the cleaner's note with a red pen instead, because she was genuinely horrible.

Anyways, the cleaning woman hilariously responded with a photocopy of her graduation photo from our school. lovely Roomie was shoooooooook. She was personally victimized by Regina George. Then she moved out in shame under cover of night.

PhotoKirk posted:

Shot a Pearl Jam concert for the Houston Post.

Hung out with Tripping Daisy and The Nixons.

Watched a guy try to run across the bonfire and fail, ended up taking him to the ER with bits of him falling off into my friend's Chrysler.

Was a late-night DJ on a low-power college rock station for 4 years. I still have a CD wallet full of terrible indie bands.

Spaghett posted:

gently caress ya, fellow radio goon. I shittily ran the recording studio for my college. The weeks leading up to Valentine's day were the worst. People wanted to record so many bad covers for their girlfriend.

Ralph Hurley posted:

Lol what were some of the worst covers?

Mormon Nailer posted:

Another "fun" college story: I dated a girl who was a couple of years older than me, but her parents were fundamentalist baptists so she never even mentioned me to them as anything more than a friend. Her parents caught her with booze and, uh, me, and kicked her out. She lived with me for a couple of weeks, then had a "religious awakening" and moved back in with her parents, dropped out, got married a few months later and pumped out 7 or 8 kids. I assume she never mentioned to her now-husband her tawdry past of eating pussy like it's the last food on earth. Last I heard they're youth pastors at some mega church in Michigan.

PhotoKirk posted:

Shot a Pearl Jam concert for the Houston Post.

PhotoKirk posted:

Ralph Hurley posted:

Lol what were some of the worst covers?

Spaghett posted:

Hey There Delilah.

Mycroft Holmes posted:

In college, I was briefly in a polyamorous relationship with a man who wore a kilt and a female quadriplegic. I was very lonely in college.

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

How did he wear the quadriplegic?

therattle posted:

Over his shoulders like dogwolf barbarian boy.

Mycroft Holmes posted:

In college, I was briefly in a polyamorous relationship with a man who wore a kilt and a female quadriplegic. I was very lonely in college.