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Weka posted:Dang, living the dream. I think this qualifies you to be Prime Minister in several Commonwealth countries.
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Sep 16, 2021 11:28
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Mycroft Holmes posted:In college, I was briefly in a polyamorous relationship with a man who wore a kilt and a female quadriplegic. I was very lonely in college. Its never who you want to be polyamorous whos pollyyyaaamoouurrouuus https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTsdKycVZZ4
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Sep 16, 2021 11:40
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kntfkr posted:Did you meet Eddie Vedder? Nope, big name bands let you shoot the first two songs, then you get dragged out of the venue. Jokes on them, that was the show where the drummer got "food poisoning" and they only played a handful of songs before cutting it short.
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Sep 16, 2021 12:16
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I had three friends ruin their lives thanks to the local Magic: The Gathering scene. Two of them literally spent all of their student loans attending weekly drafts (started as a once-a-week thing, then ballooned into an everyday thing), ended up failing out of their degrees because they stopped attending classes. The other guy was really good a Magic and was a mathematics major who was on track for success in graduate school or maybe med school. He played Magic semi-professionally and made enough money from playing to pay his rent and bills. Through the Magic circuit, he meets a girl who is infatuated with him because he's such a good player. She basically becomes his Magic groupie. She gets pregnant and my friend takes responsibility and quits school to start working construction so he can support the baby and the groupie. Eventually, the groupie just ghosts him and the child, leaving him as a single father. I was always told it was drugs that would ruin your life, not CCGs.
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Sep 16, 2021 12:34
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dopamine is a hell of a drug
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Sep 16, 2021 13:17
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Freshman year, a stoner kid fell out of his bunkbed one weekend hard enough to give him a concussion and a headwound. His roommate was out of town, so nobody was there to help him out, so he just kind of bled and pissed everywhere until he was able to recover enough to open and get someone to take him into the hospital. I only found out about this due to my roommate waking me up excitedly to show me the blood and piss room. Sure was a lot of blood and piss. Anyway, the Stoner kid's luck didn't end there, as his roommate was a D1 wrestler and was not exactly happy to come back to find some of his stuff on the floor stained (The guys on our floor did clean up the puddles, we're not animals), and beat the poo poo out of the poor kid who already had his fuckin head wrapped. They ended the year as pretty good friends though.
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Sep 16, 2021 15:04
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Dr.D-O posted:I had three friends ruin their lives thanks to the local Magic: The Gathering scene. drat. WoW was the big life ruiner for us. Turns out putting suburban kids on their own with new computers and peers not reinforcing study habits can be a bad combo. The dropouts sped up when some moved off campus and lost any form of structure without RAs or anyone to care how often they left their rooms.
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Sep 16, 2021 16:28
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Edward Mass posted:I remember telling my dorm-mate that Osama bin Laden was dead, and he asked me what channel to watch. I shouted "any channel!" because we killed Osama bin Laden, that poo poo's going to be on Nickelodeon. I lived in an apartment building overlooking the nearby agriculture dorm, and found out because they went out and were lighting their dumpsters on fire in celebration. ...Weird way to celebrate but my roomates and I basically just got plastered knowing that the school was going to cancel classes the next day in celebration (Spoilers: they did not cancel classes)
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Sep 16, 2021 16:41
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First year a bunch of posters went up around campus, "Smashing Pumpkins, Saturday at 9AM in the library quad". Well that is cool. Not my favorite band, but still should be fun. It was actually the physics club's annual contest. They would drop pumpkins off the top of the 5 story library. They had teams and had to present technical analysis of how far they thought the furthest pumpkin seed would be ejected from the impact site. It wasn't a distance thing, it was the most accurate prediction that won the contest. Each team dropped 3 pumpkins each, and there was a measurement team on the ground. About 300 people showed up expecting a concert and were disappointed, but when the first pumpkin dropped from the top of the library there was lots of applause and cheering.
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Sep 16, 2021 23:22
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PhotoKirk posted:Nope, big name bands let you shoot the first two songs, then you get dragged out of the venue. Jokes on them, that was the show where the drummer got "food poisoning" and they only played a handful of songs before cutting it short. Sorry you didn't meet him But I'm glad we talked Oh, ohhhhh
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Sep 16, 2021 23:29
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Also, last day of first year in the dorms; my roommates and I undid the screen on the ventilation shaft of our room and placed three of those one ounce bottles of Jack Daniels and three joints up there and left a note saying "Enjoy". I imagine a maintenance person found it eventually, but I've always hoped it would be some surprised freshman that found them. If the maintenance person got them and enjoyed them, that is cool too.
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Sep 16, 2021 23:43
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I probably have better stories from high school than college, but I still had fun in college. Told the head guy of my program to "suck a camel's rear end" a few times. Lots of drinking and weed smoking. I won a whole bunch of beer playing pool and air hockey. I'm not that good at either, but either I was on a lucky streak for a couple years, or the people I played against were that bad. Whatever, it was all in fun. Got kicked out of and banned from the school pub for a month or so for drunk and disorderly conduct during a pub night. On Mondays of my last semester, I had one class at 11am for an hour, and then my next class was at 2pm, till 4. A lecture that was the most boring poo poo ever with the most boring teacher. Luckily for me, the school pub was in between the drilling building and the lecture hall where the boring class was. So, naturally I would spend lunch at the bar and by 2 pm I was pretty loaded. I'd go to the lecture, sit there for an hour passing in and out of consciousness. After an hour we had a break and I'd have to take a major piss, so I'd just grab all my poo poo and leave and not come back. Another lecture I was arguing with my friend about something the class was almost over and the teacher was all like "ok just give me a few more minutes and we'll be done for the day". Just after he said that I pretty loudly (to my friend that I'd been arguing with) said "Why don't you just shut the gently caress up"??!!! Of course the whole hall heard me and started laughing. Luckily I got along pretty good with the teacher so he just laughed it off, called me a "piece of work" before telling me that I should shut the gently caress up, and continued on. Some other time during a lecture, I was arguing with another friend about something. It was near Remembrance Day and I had a poppy on my coat. Dude was talking poo poo so I told him if he didn't gently caress off I'd stab him with my poppy. He busts out a knife, I take a jab at him with my poppy, he pokes at me with the knife, so I jam the needle from my poppy through his shirt into his arm, and he comes back at me with the knife. I try to block it, but am unsuccessful. It gets me in the thumb. I was all like "AWWWW gently caress WHAT THE gently caress"!?!? Teacher got pissed and told me to "quiet down back there". I replied "oh sorry, I'm just bleeding to death back here don't worry", of course everyone looks over and starts laughing. It wasn't a big wound but there was a fair bit of blood. Including a puddle on the floor that was close to a foot in diameter, and a stain on my pants. I leave the lecture hall, go to the can trailing blood behind me meanwhile the whole class is laughing me out of there. I wash my hands off, go to the nurse's office, make up a story, get a bandaid, go for a smoke and come back to the lecture hall. When I walk back in to the lecture hall, all eyes were on me again, and most people were giggling and pointing "hey look at that idiot"! I was kinda the class clown, and I got along with most people even if we weren't really friends. My buddy who stabbed me was pretty apologetic but I was all like "gently caress it, don't worry about it" and I even gave him a ride home after class that day.
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Sep 17, 2021 00:57
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oo, I guess I do have a college story. The student union had campaigned for a student pub like a real university for about a decade. The third year I was there the administration caved to much rejoicing. The pub opened halfway through the next year. It sold $10 sandwiches and $6 bottles of Heineken. If it's still going it'd probably be a lovely place for a lunch date.
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Sep 17, 2021 02:43
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I can't tell my college stories because it would probably result in my death
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Sep 17, 2021 02:50
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Professor broke some ribs biking to class, showed up and lectured, then told us that Trump winning election was complete bullshit and to go protest at the enormous protest that everyone knew would happen that night.
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Sep 17, 2021 03:42
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One of my professors showed up to class on a Monday morning with a black eye. A real shiner; obviously punched in the face. "I was involved in an altercation" and now lets study electromagnetics... The story comes out in the next couple of days that he was in a bar hitting on a woman he knew was married. Her husband shows up after a bit and quickly tells him to knock it off. The husband goes to the bathroom for a minute, comes back and professor is still chatting her up. The husband lays into him with a single punch and knocks him to the floor. So by Wednesday we are back in class studying some of the most insane math formulas you can imagine and the whole time thinking in the background "you totally got punched out for hitting on a married woman, lol" Not that I condone punching people or hitting on married people, it was just funny as hell while sitting there in class.
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Sep 17, 2021 16:44
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There were a lot of rivers and swimming holes we'd go to as students. Drink beers, eat sandwiches, swim for the afternoon, hang out. There was one that was a 30 minute drive from town, up a dirt road for a couple of miles. It was popular for the cliff wall you could climb up and then jump into the water from. It was just a narrow gorge, but it was a good 25' deep at the main area so you could climb up to 10' (fun), 20' (kind of scary), or 30' (terrifying) and take the jump. When someone does the 30' jump there is usually much applause before and after. There were a handful of groups there hanging out, maybe 25 people total. But, there is one solo guy. Completely naked. Just running around all over the rocks and forest. No food or drinks, just naked. I asked a couple of the other groups if they knew what was up, is he with you?, etc. I'm told he showed up by himself on his mountain bike a couple hours before and freely admitted he had dropped two tabs of LSD just a bit before. His bike was leaning against a tree, but where his clothes had gone, no one knew. It was all okay, dude was just running around having his trip, being a naked freak. People were offering him water and food, but he was cool and polite and said he was good. Eventually he climbs the cliff wall. To the 30' mark. Some people are cheering him on, others are shouting that it might not be a good idea... This guy then jumps in full spread-eagle fashion, feet first. His feet are 5' apart, arms are flayed out, the whole deal and goes feet first into the water. His balls got whacked so hard. I swear to god I still remember the sound of his balls hitting the water. Imagine getting naked, spreading your legs and having someone hit you with a 2x4 in your crotch. That is what is sounded like when he hit the water. WHAP! My jaw still drops remembering it to this day. He comes to the surface two seconds later and just starts shouting, "my balls! MY BALLS!". A couple of random people jump in and pull him out onto a sunny boulder. He's just writhing in pain; squirming around. He was breathing, no blood, no broken bones, etc. People offer to take him to the hospital. Nope, he's good. Just gonna lie here for a bit. And sure enough within about 20 minutes he was up and about again; running around naked through the forest.
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Sep 17, 2021 18:40
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Internetjack posted:There were a lot of rivers and swimming holes we'd go to as students. Drink beers, eat sandwiches, swim for the afternoon, hang out. There was one that was a 30 minute drive from town, up a dirt road for a couple of miles. It was popular for the cliff wall you could climb up and then jump into the water from. It was just a narrow gorge, but it was a good 25' deep at the main area so you could climb up to 10' (fun), 20' (kind of scary), or 30' (terrifying) and take the jump. When someone does the 30' jump there is usually much applause before and after. My school had two named guys, naked James who was an inoffensive naked guy and naked Garret who was a drunken menace. I have lots of college stories and am currently drunk on the beach with my old college pals so will write some next week when I’m sober and bored at work.
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Sep 17, 2021 18:49
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Internetjack posted:There were a lot of rivers and swimming holes we'd go to as students. Drink beers, eat sandwiches, swim for the afternoon, hang out. There was one that was a 30 minute drive from town, up a dirt road for a couple of miles. It was popular for the cliff wall you could climb up and then jump into the water from. It was just a narrow gorge, but it was a good 25' deep at the main area so you could climb up to 10' (fun), 20' (kind of scary), or 30' (terrifying) and take the jump. When someone does the 30' jump there is usually much applause before and after. Lol that guy owns. A college friend who was usually prone to foolish risks would never let anyone jump off a cliff until he went and carefully inspected the water for any hazards. His uncle had died cliff jumping after not checking first so it was the one safety thing this guy took ultra-seriously.
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Sep 17, 2021 18:53
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Internetjack posted:There were a lot of rivers and swimming holes we'd go to as students. Drink beers, eat sandwiches, swim for the afternoon, hang out. There was one that was a 30 minute drive from town, up a dirt road for a couple of miles. It was popular for the cliff wall you could climb up and then jump into the water from. It was just a narrow gorge, but it was a good 25' deep at the main area so you could climb up to 10' (fun), 20' (kind of scary), or 30' (terrifying) and take the jump. When someone does the 30' jump there is usually much applause before and after. lmao
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Sep 17, 2021 18:54
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my balls! MY BALLS!
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Sep 17, 2021 19:01
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PokeJoe posted:Stories From College: my balls! MY BALLS!
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Sep 17, 2021 19:19
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Derpies posted:One time In college I asked Genesplicer the RA if they’re tugging and got a six hour party timeout Don't lie. I graduated from college before you were born.
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Sep 17, 2021 19:52
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I roofied myself once
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Sep 28, 2021 12:42
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I didn't go to college in the USA because I didn't want to get into debt and I asked my mom if she had saved up any money for college she just laughed at me. I moved to the Netherlands I heard that as long as I enrolled before my 30th birthday I could get money from the government to support myself and that money would be based off my parents income and not, you know, my husbands, which was weird but that how the law worked (lol). My parents are not wealthy people so I got the maximum amount of monthly stipend, which after 4 years added up to around 25k Euro. My education cost roughly 8k Euro (plus I got the free travel allotment so my commute from our home in the suburbs to my university each day cost me nothing). I was ten years older than most of the other students, although there were a few more "mature" students my age or even older. I had lots of fun and learned that there is basically an invisible wall you hit when you turn 31 that prevents you from partying all night anymore. First the spirit is wiling but the flesh is weak, and then the spirit goes as well. But I had lot of fun and made friends and 10/10, would enroll in the second-worse ranked university in my country for the hell of it again. My degree is more or less worthless, not because it's a worthless field per se, but because the job market is oversaturated in the Netherlands for my field. Oh well, at least I didn't go into debt for it and I can now check "university/college" on the box when they ask me my details in a survey.
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Sep 28, 2021 13:03
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I was at the University of Pittsburgh when the Penguins won the Stanley Cup in 2009. The streets were filled with people going nuts and celebrating. A reporter came up to me and a friend of mine and asked if we could be interviewed. I was pretty drunk and said "Everybody's just having a great time, it's awesome!" and my friend gave a lengthy explanation of the game and how impressive the Penguins were. He was a hockey super-fan and felt like this was his time to really shine. When the paper came out they printed my quote and not my friend's, and he was legitimately very pissed about that and didn't talk to me for a few days over it.
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Sep 28, 2021 13:11
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A Fancy Hat posted:When the paper came out they printed my quote and not my friend's, and he was legitimately very pissed about that and didn't talk to me for a few days over it. LMFAO Freshman year, I broke into my RAs room to prank him with a couple buddies. As we were trying to pick the lock, campus security came walking by. When they heard it was our RAs room, they just laughed and walked away.
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Sep 28, 2021 15:04
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I didnt go to college cuz i heard you can get laid there. Gross!
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Sep 28, 2021 15:25
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A buddy was constantly getting in trouble with campus security parking enforcement. In retaliation he swiped one of their ticket books from their office. When another friend was visiting our dorm, my buddy snuck out a window and went to the guy's car and wrote him a ticket for every possible violation, including being both too close and too far away from the curb. It think it was for $800. When the friend left he came back a short time later to complain about this ridiculous ticket and his intentions to dispute it, although after a few minutes we let him know what was going on and he was amused.
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Sep 28, 2021 16:16
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My last two years of school another student and I were hired by the university to be 'student-side IT', which meant we had a voicemail people could leave computer problems on, and then we would get paid by the school to go fix them. There was...hilariously little oversight in retrospect. No direct supervisor, no one to check we were splitting work evenly or doing work at all, no rules about being alone with students in their room. I don't think either of us were even in any kind of computer-related major. The job interview was literally 'do you know what task manager and safe mode are? Ok here is a thumb drive with AVG on it'. They gave us each a key that they said would open any exterior dorm door so we could meet up with people to fix their problems. I don't know about the other guy, but my key opened everything on the dorm side of campus. Every Friday night my friends and I would open up the cafeteria, steal a bunch of ice cream bars, and then go open up a common room and play pool or foosball or whatever and eat ice cream and just kind of decompress. It was nice.
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Sep 28, 2021 16:43
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runnypoops posted:I didnt go to college cuz i heard you can get laid there. Gross! You were lied to, I was there for four years and didn’t get laid once!
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Sep 28, 2021 17:26
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I fell in love with a rich Romanian chick not realizing it was just a summer fling. Got to stick it in though and lasted maybe 5 seconds.
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Sep 28, 2021 17:53
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We one time had a giant party in a construction project across the street that was going down. Dragged a keg over, ended up doing dumb kid poo poo like spraying the fire extinguishers at each other and just in general had a good ol time. Somehow the cops never got called, even when we figured out how to get the forklift working. Guess it being in a basement of that facility helped. Turned out that place ended up being an old folks home so sorry old folks for breaking in the place!
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Sep 28, 2021 18:03
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Awoo at the Moon posted:We one time had a giant party in a construction project across the street that was going down. Dragged a keg over, ended up doing dumb kid poo poo like spraying the fire extinguishers at each other and just in general had a good ol time. Somehow the cops never got called, even when we figured out how to get the forklift working. Guess it being in a basement of that facility helped. Turned out that place ended up being an old folks home so sorry old folks for breaking in the place! Reported for unlicensed forkliftery. I’m gonna need you to report to the break room to watch this video. https://youtu.be/RgQM-ZslKrg
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Sep 28, 2021 18:39
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interwhat posted:I fell in love with a rich Romanian chick not realizing it was just a summer fling. Got to stick it in though and lasted maybe 5 seconds. Jeez, no need to brag.
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Sep 28, 2021 19:13
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One time my then-girlfriend and I were wicked loving stoned watching Adult Swim in one of the common rooms of her dorm. It was late and we were the only ones hanging out there. I got the munches so I went around the corner to the vending machine for some snacks. I was really, really high so before I put any money in I thought it was funny to just start randomly pressing numbers. All of a sudden, the vending machine starts spitting out food. Did I unlock some sort of cheat code by randomly pressing a bunch of buttons??? There was no way I’d ever remember what combination I hit, but I figured I would reap the rewards while I could. Got like $20 of chips and candy for free. I dumped them all over my girlfriend when I came back in the room. And that was the greatest story of my life.
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Sep 28, 2021 19:29
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:One time my then-girlfriend and I were wicked loving stoned watching Adult Swim in one of the common rooms of her dorm. It was late and we were the only ones hanging out there. incredible
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Sep 28, 2021 19:39
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Whenever I got really drunk I took all the fire extinguishers from our dorm and decorated the dead tree in front of our stoop with them. Somehow I never got caught despite doing this 10-15 times.
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Sep 28, 2021 21:05
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once i found a full sheet of plywood leaning against a dumpster. and i flipped it over and it was a store sign for an out of business porno shop. i took it home and re-painted using the paint my landlord left in the closet of my lovely rental house and used it to play beer pong on for a few years
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Sep 28, 2021 21:12
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PokeJoe posted:once i found a full sheet of plywood leaning against a dumpster. and i flipped it over and it was a store sign for an out of business porno shop. i took it home and re-painted using the paint my landlord left in the closet of my lovely rental house and used it to play beer pong on for a few years Why would you EVER repaint that, that's college social gold. Porno table would be legendary.
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Sep 28, 2021 21:14
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