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(Thread IKs: Stereotype)
 
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TACD
Oct 27, 2000

technically it’s not suicide so technically my life insurance still has to pay out *taps head*

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TACD
Oct 27, 2000

https://twitter.com/guardianeco/status/1469192041888288768?s=20

hey, that doesn’t sound so b–

quote:

The concept of organism-encrusted plastic may sound like the story of ocean species triumphing in spite of human folly. But that’s not quite the case, explains Juan José Alava, PhD, an expert in marine ecotoxicology and conservation at the University of British Columbia.

In addition to transporting non-native species to delicate habitats where they may become invasive and destructive, neopelagic communities are “basically an ecological trap” says Alava. That’s because the sheer density of plastic in the ocean (researchers expect 600m metric tons of garbage will collect in the ocean by 2040) leads to the creation of permanent floating structures, covered in small species that attract creatures higher up the food chain, such as fish, turtles and mammals. When these creatures enter garbage gyres seeking shelter and food, they run a high risk of eating and/or becoming caught in plastic and dying. “For example, often the calves of whales, they are very curious – but that curiosity could lead them to get entangled and die,” says Alava.

While scientists have found some types of bacteria are able to break down hydrocarbons in plastic, thereby cleaning up garbage, it’s unlikely that the types of filter-feeding invertebrates thriving in neopelagic communities will have any such effect.

haha oops! better luck next time, “the ocean”!

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

A Terrible Person posted:

I'm morbidly curious as to how the first world countries are going to handle food shortages and/or outright famine in the information age.

quote:

supermarket? more like sub-par-market

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

umm where’s all the food lmao? like why even bother to open if u rnt goin to stock basic poo poo. n ur staff had a real bad attitude when i asked them to check the back, its not my fault u cnt run a store bithc

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

Rectal Death Adept posted:

you'd think microplastics would do something cool

all we get from it is butt cancer?
all we get from it is butt cancer so far

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

so now I gotta go to the doctor and ask him to please put his fingers up my butt, the internet people told me it's important because of all the plastic I've been eating

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

I don’t know who recommended Ishmael but I’m glad you did, this is quite the book.

quote:

“But if he should eat of the tree of our knowledge, then he will shrug off his weariness. He will say, What does it matter that I’m weary of living as a murderer of all the life around me? I know good and evil, and this way of living is good. Therefore I must live this way even though I’m weary unto death, even though I destroy the world and even myself. The gods wrote in the world a law for all to follow, but it cannot apply to me because I’m their equal. Therefore I will live outside this law and grow without limit. To be limited is evil. I will steal the fire of life from the hands of the gods and heap it up for my growth, and that will be good. I will destroy those kinds that do not serve my growth, and that will be good. I will wrest the garden from the hands of the gods and order it anew so that it serves only my growth, and that will be good. And because these things are good, they must be done at any cost. It may be that I’ll destroy the garden and make a ruin of it. It may be that my progeny will teem over the earth like locusts, stripping it bare, until they drown in their own filth and hate the very sight of one another and go mad. Still they must go on, because to grow without limit is good and to accept the limits of the law is evil. And if any say, “Let’s put off the burdens of the criminal life and live in the hands of the gods once again,” I will kill them, for what they say is evil. And if any say, “Let’s turn aside from our misery and search for that other tree,” I will kill them, for what they say is evil. And when at last all the garden has been subjugated to my use and all kinds that do not serve my growth have been cast aside and all the fire of life in the world flows through my progeny, still I must grow. And to the people of this land I will say, “Grow, for this is good,” and they will grow. And to the people of the next land I will say, “Grow, for this is good,” and they will grow. And when they can grow no more, the people of this land will fall upon the people of the next to murder them, so that they may grow still more. And if the groans of my progeny fill the air throughout the world, I will say to them, “Your sufferings must be borne, for you suffer in the cause of good. See how great we have become! Wielding the knowledge of good and evil, we have made ourselves the masters of the world, and the gods have no power over us. Though your groans fill the air, isn’t it sweeter to live in our own hands than in the hands of the gods?”

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

bag em and tag em posted:

The most unrealistic part of the movie was the guy who looked up, saw the comet with his own eyes, and instead of doubling down and screaming even louder that comets were a myth actually got mad that his chosen political savior had lied.
the most unrealistic part was when the crackpinged scientist hooked up with Timothée Chalamet. I would feel a lot better about climate change if I got to hook up with Timothée Chalamet :(

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

500excf type r posted:

It's not good but it isn't bad. It isn't subtle but people are idiots and the audience needs it to be ham fisted and in their face otherwise it is just lost upon them, like everyone that thinks it's about trump and covid
it’s an introductory crackping for beginners, so it’s light afternoon viewing followed up with a hearty lol at how deeply it’s broken some journos

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

sure, the outer layer of earth’s crust is done for, but the mantle and core are still pristine! over 99% of the planet by volume is untouched by man, so I say it’s extremely anthropocentric to claim the planet is “ruined” based on the tiny fraction humans inhabit

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

thanks Atacama

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

prediction for this decade: temperature gradient maps are gonna have to go HDR

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

That Spooky Witch posted:

a question on there made me think for a moment;

what if the dominant narrative ends up just keep redefining "civilization" so that current civilization never _technically_ collapses, its just getting smaller and simpler and more chaotic as our goalposts of civilization eventually land at the last dome or whatever, until it becomes "civilization" becomes a technicality and echoes of its once existence are all we have. There will be large steps along the way no doubt, but there will always be at least half of society being propagandized fully into ignoring, downplaying, distracting, denial, anything amiss and clinging to whats left

oh wait that is whats happening and has been happening
americans will be saying "we can put a man on the moon but we can't do X" long after everybody who was alive to see that happen has died

that'll probably be in my lifetime TBH, nobody has left low earth orbit since 1972

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

Oxxidation posted:

sell empty jars, call it Space Jam
if I buy an empty jar labelled Space Jam that poo poo had better be empty. you fuckers try to get away with shipping me a jar full of air and I’m gonna raise hell

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

lmao we’ve hosed this planet in so many wild ways

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

Owling Howl posted:

If you accept it there's no reason to make it the focal point of everything. We know we're going to die but if your partner is constantly talking about cancer, heart disease, dementia, alzheimers etc it's going to destroy any potential joy you could have. If you truly fully accept it then you just live with it. If you make everything about it then you're still negotiating.
the zen of the crack ping

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

nomad2020 posted:

It’s been interesting reading everyone’s opinions WRT whether I should lie to, make miserable, or leave my spouse because the world is going to end at some point.
in your relationship, as in life, our votes count!

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

logical endpoint of the War On Drugs is War On Dopamine

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

Evil_Greven posted:

Global Climate Report - Annual 2021
https://www.ncdc.noaa.gov/sotc/global/202113
The 2021 Northern Hemisphere surface temperature was also the sixth highest on record. However, the land portion of the Northern Hemisphere had a temperature that was 1.54°C (2.77°F) above average and the third highest in the 142-year record. Only the years of 2016 (second warmest) and 2020 (warmest) were warmer. Meanwhile, the Southern Hemisphere had its ninth warmest year on record.

lol

lmao
sixth highest? ninth highest? how am i gonna crack any pings to this poo poo

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

Paradoxish posted:

The best part is that it's wildly temporary so you really, really cannot stop. Stop shoving sulfates into the atmosphere and you're going to get temperatures bouncing back within a matter of years, which I'm sure will produce very normal effects on the climate. Also does nothing to help the oceans.
The really best part is how this allows the entity in charge of it to literally hold the world to ransom by charging a limitless subscription for the service of “keeping the deadly sun at bay”

That’s the feature that ensures we’ll end up doing it rather than a once-and-done solution for chumps.

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

mawarannahr posted:

I can’t sleep bc I’m staring at the ceiling thinking about a river as acidic as grapefruit juice or vinegar
no no, it’s german for “adult fish the”

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

Jokerpilled Drudge posted:

I reused a ziplock today so not only is the planet saved but I have microplastics in my brain augmenting me giving me eternal life
I was going to make a microwave ready meal the other day and noticed the plastic shell had cracked a bit and there were plastic shards on the food

I took out the (visible) shards and thought of this thread with a quiet lmao as I nuked and ate my processed gruel.

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

what’s the CO2 level in this thread

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

T-Paine posted:

it's just a hockey stick. These things happen in nature, doesn't mean it's man made
it says “reconstructed” right there in the title. they don’t show the natural ice levels because that wouldn’t support the woke agenda!!

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

JAY ZERO SUM GAME posted:

threads is one of the most hosed up movies ive ever watched

only watched it once
I live in Sheffield (where Threads is set) and it’s great fun to point out all the local landmarks getting blown up, though most of them have been redeveloped by now anyway.

They’ve played it on a huge screen in town before but I was away that weekend ☹️

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

mahershalalhashbaz posted:

lol are they really intending to harvest the earth's core
mining one’s core is a proven path to success, look how rich it made Nauru!

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

Ramrod Hotshot posted:

What single catastrophic event (because that is all the media will ever really respond to) would the Times and Atlantic start to say, "Actually, let's just start spraying sulfur dioxide now. It's cheap and who knows maybe it'll work!!"?
wild sturgeon go extinct, no more caviar :supaburn:

champagne region of France no longer able to produce viable grapes :derp:

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

TeenageArchipelago posted:

its the ocean! its supposed to be blue!
but now it’s blue as in sad :smith:

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

Hubbert posted:

"The ship also seems to run on what is called "Organic Converter Reactors", where they send people who have reached an age limit of some sort to die and become fuel for the ship. It is also believed that the organic material is also partially used for the production of food."

:thunk:
It is every citizen's final duty to go into the tanks and become one with all the people.

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

Stereotype posted:

all of the coral is going to die. everywhere. it will be extinct within our lifetime.
luckily my new commemorative coral reef NFTs will last forever

a portion of each minting goes to a charity that sounds like it does something important, there’s no better way to remember these beautiful plants or whatever 🪸

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

Colin Mockery posted:

actually its only 40 degrees celsius

not that bad, yet
my terrible broken brain read the article thus:

quote:

Parts of eastern Antarctica have seen temperatures hover 70 degrees (40 Celsius)
🧠: Antarctica is 40°C ?! That’s really hot! Wow!

quote:

…above normal
🧠: Oh phew things aren’t that bad, yet 😴

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

TACD posted:

luckily my new commemorative coral reef NFTs will last forever

a portion of each minting goes to a charity that sounds like it does something important, there’s no better way to remember these beautiful plants or whatever 🪸
:negative:

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

Rectal Death Adept posted:

conservationists are shocked when someone spends several ape pictures to poison the great barrier reef to make their coral pictures more valuable
jokes on you, im spending all my coral pictures to kill the apes

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

SniperWoreConverse posted:

you did this
start posting good poo poo
i will never betray my principles, i will not post good poo poo,

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

https://twitter.com/CapComCatWalk/status/1507137389432434739

just an ice shelf the size of Rome, NBD

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

The Protagonist posted:

shock, surprise pikachu etc. etc.

im not sure what kind of singular catastrophe would be necessary for me to feel anything again
i think when the coral reefs are permanently dead forever and the amazon rainforest is all gone I will have a good solid wracking sob that morphs into a horrifying joker cackle and back

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

The Protagonist posted:

that's just happening now tho, u know? like there won't be a red letter day marking when the last wild coral bleaches or the last acre of Amazon is felled

cancer is metastasizing now
lol, lmao

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

blatman posted:

i bought a vasectomy like 2 years ago i wonder if i can get a refund if we're in a children of men situation
you thought you got a vasectomy, but in fact you just had an injection of a superconcentrated microplastic solution. it's the vasectomy alternative THEY don't want you to know about

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

Dr. Furious posted:

Moose populations have been in serious decline lately due to brainworms (for real).
I didn’t even know moose could use twitter :dadjoke:

TACD
Oct 27, 2000

Wakko posted:

nobody can tell how much warming we've already locked in as long as we press our eyes closed as hard as we can and shout nananananana when anyone tries to read the most fundamental analysis like i.e.

"the last time the atmospheric CO₂ amounts were this high was more than 3 million years ago, when temperature was 2°–3°C (3.6°–5.4°F) higher than during the pre-industrial era, and sea level was 15–25 meters (50–80 feet) higher than today."
well sure but how many people were optimistic about it back then

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TACD
Oct 27, 2000

Harry Potter on Ice posted:

You put the orange powder in, river goes green, dont over think it
a bar I used to go to had a cocktail that looked green but tasted orange, so I assume this works the same way

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