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Slam a car door until you're done. It works really well for covering up farts.
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Oct 4, 2021 21:29
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BigBadSteve posted:Poop and pee into your hand. y'all really just let the doo doo fall in the toilet? https://youtu.be/gexjlM-jjEc
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Oct 4, 2021 21:52
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Practice mongolian throat singing, maybe even put in "mongolian throat singing practice room" sign on the shitter door, for authenticity
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Oct 4, 2021 22:01
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Become lonely and single so there's nobody around to hear you poo poo.
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Oct 4, 2021 22:13
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Just lol if you think that fan was covering for anything. We can all hear you blasting rear end OP. We have this whole time
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Oct 5, 2021 00:47
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just go poo poo under a waterfall like good intended. a yellow waterfall
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Oct 5, 2021 00:51
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Draw a bath and poop underwater. You would be amazed what being submerged in water does to muffle sounds.
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Oct 5, 2021 00:51
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If you didn’t stop being poo-shy by the end of college/university I don’t even know what to tell you.
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Oct 5, 2021 00:51
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You're making GBS threads right now, aren't you?! I CAN HEAR YOU. Fuckin disgusting.
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Oct 5, 2021 00:59
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I like to loudly announce to my housemates when I am going to the toilet specifically to poo poo, and then when I get out I announce how great of a poo poo it was. They are generally extremely self conscious about this sort of stuff and because of my stupidity they're all way more comfortable being people now. It's great. poo poo hard, poo poo loud and proudly proclaim to the world.
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Oct 5, 2021 01:17
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Put baseball card in the fan. Run shower and sink as high as they go. Leave door open. Make fart sounds with your mouth. Oh yeah, and live alone. And if you don't have a bidet yet, WTF is wrong with you. Get a bidet. Costco even sells the good Toto ones now.
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Oct 5, 2021 01:25
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spacetoaster posted:So the exhaust fan in my bathroom died after 12 years of service, went a grabbed a new model from the store and installed it this morning. https://youtu.be/qorkD6nPYQM should get you through at least the peeing
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Oct 5, 2021 03:11
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You should set up a PA through out your home and mic your rear end. Then people will think it is somebody else making GBS threads, not the fellow in the bathroom.
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Oct 5, 2021 07:34
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Just find the ultimate shitter in your country and record them making GBS threads. Then play that back, but like ten times louder. This will lead people to believe you are just as excellent at making GBS threads as the most quality and excellent shitter in your country, only also a giant.
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Oct 5, 2021 08:05
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Cardboard Tube Silencer
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Oct 5, 2021 08:17
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Fashion yourself an arse silencer Then you can defecate by stealth wherever you go
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Oct 5, 2021 09:05
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Wait, you don't keep a trombone in your bathroom to play while taking a poo poo?
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Oct 5, 2021 09:09
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Put a glory hole in your bathroom. It won’t do anything for the noise but at least you’ll have a glory hole in your bathroom.
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Oct 5, 2021 13:23
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i had one of those ricola-style huge swiss horns installed in front of my toilet that extends through the wall so it's really easy to cover the sound of my rampant diarrhea
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Oct 5, 2021 14:10
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Tell everyone the bathroom is wher you do your theorems and every time a poopy is gonna splash just yell “eureka!” And they’ll all think your a math whiz (lol whiz get it?) Alternatively, get into tripod position and poo poo directly upwards into the fan blades so it expertly exits the house from the roof. It will save u money on water bill
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Oct 5, 2021 15:20
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mudskipp posted:Fashion yourself an arse silencer I don't want to fill out all that paperwork with the BATFE.
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Oct 5, 2021 17:35
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I was told that the sound of air being moved through the vent system in my office is actually artificial white noise building management pipes in because we expect to hear it and it wigs us out when we don't. Sort of like those fake engine noises powerful electric cars pipe into the cabin, because life experience has conditioned us to feel weird driving in relative silence, compared to the noise a similarly performing combustion engine would create. So what I'm saying is poo poo exclusively in one of the cubicles of my office, or in the backseat of a Tesla.
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Oct 5, 2021 17:52
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Loudly and openly declare whenever you're going to the bathroom. Not your problem if anyone hears you poop.
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Oct 5, 2021 18:17
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Get some noise-cancelling headphones 🎧. Boom! No more poop sounds
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Oct 5, 2021 18:33
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| # ? May 22, 2024 17:17 |
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Wilkins Micawber posted:Get some noise-cancelling headphones 🎧. Boom! No more poop sounds Do you put them on your butt cheeks or how does that work? Or do you mean put them on anyone else in the bathroom while you poo then ask for them back after you wipe?
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Oct 5, 2021 20:49
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