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these are not my vampire brides, i am a simple transylvanian bigamist, and we didnt kill that baby it was dead when we found it! keanu: most excellent, count dude.
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Oct 6, 2021 11:32
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Sorry, I'm still a bit dizzy. I've been hanging upside down for the last few hours.
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Oct 6, 2021 11:51
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Stop calling it that. To me it's still Constantinople and I don't care what the dumb song says.
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Oct 6, 2021 12:31
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Hi Mate, mind if I come inside?
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Oct 6, 2021 12:32
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*gets to the hotel complimentary breakfast right when it opens, before the sun has risen* Hey, where's the Count Chocula?
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Oct 6, 2021 12:34
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I vant to zuck your neck, blaaah
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Oct 6, 2021 12:38
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phasmid posted:Stop calling it that. To me it's still Constantinople and I don't care what the dumb song says. Only 1690's kids will remember this
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Oct 6, 2021 12:44
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*attempt of intense hypno-stare is foiled by social awkwardness* *stares intently at your shoulder*
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Oct 6, 2021 12:44
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*queefs bats*
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Oct 6, 2021 12:54
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My favourite bvand? Vhy, is ze chivldren of ze night, vhat muzick zey play!
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Oct 6, 2021 12:58
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I can't watch Batman movies without cringing because they get so much of the bat stuff wrong
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Oct 6, 2021 13:12
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Um, I was drinking blood before it was cool. Like ten, twenty, six hundred years before.
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Oct 6, 2021 13:22
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Nicolas Cage to OP: “No.” https://youtu.be/N_REktM-_cc
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Oct 6, 2021 13:33
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“No, I’m not a vampire. I get asked that all the time. I know I’ve got these elongated canine teeth, but that’s… because of something else.” *pulls out mirror and shows you I’ve got a reflection* “See, not a vampire. Now, is this cutlery silver? I… have an allergy to silver.” *looks nervously outside window to check phase of moon* “What? I’m just really into astronomy. That’s aWWWWWLLL!” *clears throat* “Sorry. I don’t know what came over me. You got any rare steaks up in this shiznit?”
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Oct 6, 2021 13:37
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Oh yeah me too I only eat raw food, more like I only drink raw food, yeah like juice but kinda different, close your eyes and I'll show you wait come back
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Oct 6, 2021 13:53
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Hi I'm an early Facebook investor
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Oct 6, 2021 13:59
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OH. MY. GOD. I cannot BELIEVE you would even ask that! ME?! A vampire?! PREPOSTEROUS, I tell you! Why, I’m just OFFENDED that we’re even having this discussion. UNBELIEVABLE! Goodness me, you think you know someone and then they just go off and spout the most RIDICULOUS ideas, it’s tragic what this world is coming to!
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Oct 6, 2021 14:02
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Nelson Mandingo posted:*Explodes into ash when sunlight is let into the strip club* lmao look at this virgin vampire thats never been to a stripclub. as if they would ever let natural light into a stripclub LOL
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Oct 6, 2021 15:52
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Now listen here sir I do not in fact "suck tremendously". I don't know who you heard that from but maybe you can disclose that information to my friend Igor, he always keeps a secret and never murders.
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Oct 6, 2021 15:53
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"I'd love to come to the beach, but I'll burn to a crisp in the sun. Too long on the night shift I guess" "I love wearing a mask, I've always been pretty self conscious about my smile." "Oh that. That's just catsup. No I haven't seen Mark since he left for the bathroom, why?"
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Oct 6, 2021 16:06
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Do you have any recommendations for blinds that keep out ALL light? I mean all of it, I really can't get a single bit of sunlight in my house. Because I'm growing mushrooms. Yeah, that's the ticket.
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Oct 6, 2021 16:12
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Sir... I can assure you, your loved one will be properly supported in the afterlife. Our coffins are made to last. Sir, this is... highly unusual, please don't do that. me: *jumping up in down inside the coffin* not sure about this one.. I like it a little more firm.
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Oct 6, 2021 16:18
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Hey Frost, check this out I was at this gun show and bought this cool blade... BLADE?! WHERE? *jumps out window, hissing*
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Oct 6, 2021 16:28
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How would I like my stake? Uhhh... I gotta go!
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Oct 6, 2021 16:33
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mirrors make me feel ugly
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Oct 6, 2021 16:33
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Can I get a Bloody Mary? That sounds good. Wait, tomato juice? Why's it called a Bloody Mary then? Oh. Ohhhhhh. I'll pass then, thank you. Can you send Mary over, though, haha just kidding but seriously send her over.
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Oct 6, 2021 16:50
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oh no, you misunderstood, I said vanpire I live down by the river
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Oct 6, 2021 17:44
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*sniff* *sniff* Well, someone in this thread is on their period! You flirt. <3
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Oct 6, 2021 18:23
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 Yo Songbearer check out my sweet new ride. Yeah that's pretty cool van "Pretty cool van". It's a great van! I mean what do you want me to say? It's a rad van! Hell, sing its praises a little! Songbearer? Dude, you alright?
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Oct 6, 2021 22:14
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I dress like poo poo and my dick fell off. e: I'm a member of the House of Lords. Xaintrailles fucked around with this message at 22:29 on Oct 6, 2021 |
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Oct 6, 2021 22:27
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"That stuff? Oh, didn't I tell you? All of my paintings use Moon Blood, or menstrual blood as the dominant institutions call it. Be a dear and bring me one, second from the left, need to freshen my palette."
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Oct 6, 2021 22:36
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I can die whenever I want. I just choose not to.
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Oct 6, 2021 22:46
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how much blood u thinks in my boner 
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Oct 6, 2021 22:48
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Why is there a cape in my living room? You remember that old cartoon, Darkwing Duck? Well, I like to cosplay as him at conventions. “I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!” You know, Darkwing Duck.
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Oct 7, 2021 00:41
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Look, I'm sorry I freaked out when you suggested we go out for steak. It's just... uh... my parents died at a steak restaurant? They both simultaneously choked to death and could not give each other the Heimlich because they were busy choking to death. So I get nervous when people talk about steaks. It's all very natural, you see.
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Oct 7, 2021 01:10
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No matter how much I drink I just can’t seem to quench this thirst
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Oct 7, 2021 01:14
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sorry i was late, mist me? i got hung up with a bunch of gossipy old bats
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Oct 7, 2021 01:24
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You remind me of your great-grandfather.
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Oct 7, 2021 01:30
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As a nighttime phlebotomist let me assure you that not a drop of your blood will go to wastem
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Oct 7, 2021 01:38
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| # ? May 1, 2024 17:01 |
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My skin sparkles like this during the day because I love covering myself in glitter please do not judge me
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Oct 7, 2021 02:02
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