- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Jesus Christ I’m surrounded by assholes.
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Oct 20, 2021 04:51
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 14, 2024 15:30
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Girlfriend [24/f] masturbates to the same thing I do to get back at me [26/m]?
quote:
We are both in our mid-20's. My girlfriend comes from a super religious household in which she was told constantly that porn and even masturbation is sinful and will get her sent to hell. Recently, she was on my laptop and found some videos I had saved (yes, pornographic ones) and apparently copied them to her computer. I first found this out when I came home one day to her masturbating at her computer, legs completely spread, to one of these videos. While she does this, she does not respond to me when I talk to her or even turn her head. She looks furious as she does this. She has been timing it so that it has happened almost every day since I've come back from work for the past two weeks. She will not hold a conversation with me about it after the fact. This is a girl who would always tell me she never masturbated and that it was sinful. Please help.
TLDR: Confusion
[UPDATE] Girlfriend [24/f] masturbates to the same thing I do to get back at me [26/m]?
quote:
It has been exactly one week since I first posted (link here) about this difficult problem with my girlfriend, and I figured you all deserved an update due to how much you helped me.
A lot of your advice (and I did read and ponder every word) swirled in the back of my head constantly, but I was initially having a tough time accepting my situation for what you all said it was. That this wasn't healthy, that she was crazy, that I was a wuss for taking it, that we had no chance -- I hated the pessimistic reality of it all and I wanted it to be wrong. I wanted to keep faith in us. After two more nights of coming home to her doing the same thing again (and me trying to gently get her to stop with several "hey"s, waving my hand in front of her face, and even whistling to no avail), I finally faced how much I was lying to myself about the true severity of the communication rift between us and how much we lacked the ability to connect on a level that the most basic relationship should have. And I went to sleep in a separate room (I couldn't handle "lying" any longer by sleeping in the same bed as her as if nothing was happening) feeling physically sick.
The third night is when I finally got her attention. I didn't yell at her, I didn't bring her family/friends home with me, I didn't edit the videos to surprise her with my face, I didn't join in with her. I just stood next to her and started reading her a letter which I had taken the time to prepare off and on throughout my work day. Her usually angered expression looked like it actually started to turn sad (maybe even regretful?) as I told her I loved her, and cared for her, and wanted nothing more than for us to work. I even included a poem that her and I had made together about our relationship during better times. She never stopped moving her hands and staring forward as I read, but I did notice tears start to come from her eyes and I started to get teary too. When my letter concluded, I asked her if she wanted to finally stop and she responded by screaming and turning up the volume of the porn, so I took that as her needing time to herself and left.
The next night, I was pleasantly surprised to find her not at the computer, but instead back to her normal hobbies. She still would not acknowledge that she had done anything at all, but this was a huge improvement that I can only imagine getting better as time goes on. Reddit, I think this problem was solved and I could not have done it without you. Thank you so much for your advice and willingness to help to the fullest. You have helped strengthen my relationship with this wonderful girl and I can't imagine life in a more beautiful way.
TL;DR: Problem nearly solved, things only getting better due to your advice. Thank you so much.
Long-awaited update about this psycho b who masturbated to my porn to prove some twisted point
quote:
I don't know how many of you will remember me, but I'm one who had this problem and this subsequent problem (which I at the time didn't realize was a problem). I am happy to say that this psycho bitch is no longer my girlfriend, and if things go as I want them to, no longer in my life at all.
Things were going really well, everything just fine and dandy, for over a month after I read her my heartfelt letter. Yet again, however, your comments were swirling in the back of my mind and it wasn't enough for me that this girl I shared a home with was smiling, bubbly, happy, back to 'normal', whatever -- because she never spoke about what she did. I didn't bring it up myself because I thought she would come to me and maybe even apologize about it when she was ready, but nope, she just hummed around the house like some sort of innocent princess.
Well, recently she was cooking dinner and I was just sitting at the table staring at her, thinking about everything and feeling my blood boil. I didn't understand how she could act this way, how she could just do something so deranged and then cover it up. And I realized with the way things were going, she was never going to acknowledge her behavior or take responsibility for her actions. So I finally said something, but I hid my rage by speaking slowly and calmly: "So what was that thing with you masturbating?"
I realized it was another pretend-she-didn't-hear-me moment for her as she just stood still for a while in silence, so I sighed and said something like "We'll just talk about it whenever you're comfortable." Apparently that set her off. She opened up the kitchen drawer to show me a photo of an actress that I apparently had complimented during a movie while screaming "You find her attractive? You find her attractive?" and pointing at her face. I started screaming over her "so what if I find her attractive" over and over until, yes, she got a knife. I immediately backed away in the sinking realization that she might actually be crazy enough to stab me, but she then pointed the knife at herself, or more specifically her vagina, and said she "didn't even need it" because I "don't appreciate it" and "no one has genitals in the afterlife". I didn't want to be around for it to escalate further so I booked out of there while she hurled insults at me. Right away I called her mom, since her parents live very closeby, but her mom didn't even let me finish explaining before she was screaming at me over the phone saying she "knew what I did" and that I was a "Satan shitplane" so I hung up and had to ignore her literally 37 calls afterward.
Long story short, all of my contact with this girl from now on will be through writing if I can control it. I'm staying with a friend now while this stuff gets sorted. I'm not really sure what my next step will be, but you guys deserve a thank you for all of your advice as well as an apology from me for not seeing the light sooner. Hopefully this will be the last time I update or even think about this chick and her hosed up family. Bye.
TLDR: Girlfriend is now ex-girlfriend due to insanity, and her mom is just as bad.
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Oct 20, 2021 08:15
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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alternatively: threadban anyone who complains about derails
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Oct 20, 2021 15:59
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Any topic that polls well on Reddit is going to. I do wonder how many parents there really are who don't realize grandchildren are produced by children, though.
Eh, I have heard about disapproving parents who come around once the grandkids come along for a lot longer than Reddit has been a thing.
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Oct 20, 2021 16:14
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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This guy should do what I did in a similar situation: Identify that this is a real problem and that it makes you feel bad and unwanted. Ask about what he can do, and if he is doing something wrong or there is anything bad happening that is making her not want to be intimate, then listen to the answers. He can try being more attentive to her emotional needs and try to ensure she gets time to herself regularly to recharge. He can increase his share of household chores, and try and get her something nice every so often to show her is thinking of her in addition to voicing his appreciation.
It's a touchy subject, but if the other stuff doesn't make an impact he could try helping her see a doctor and a therapist. She might be on meds that shut her down, maybe there are alternatives her and her doctor could try. Maybe she is getting poor or not enough sleep and feels exhausted all the time. It's easy for that to come across as "the only reason you don't want to have sex with me is because there's something wrong with you", so you have to make as sure as you can it's not because of non-medical issues before you broach the topic.
He should make sure to keep clear communication throughout, making sure not to be accusatory ever and to stress that he loves her and this is just one issue in an otherwise fulfilling relationship.
none of that worked for us and I'm seeking a divorce but pretty sure that's what you're supposed to do anyways
Well that sucks but it’s a pretty common experience. You just have to weigh whether there is anything else worth sticking around for. Partners of either gender sometimes decide that they aren’t all that interested in sex and don’t give a drat about their spouse’s feelings on the subject. If there are kids involved they may figure you won’t leave them anyway.
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Oct 20, 2021 18:35
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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AITA I got a caretaker and nurse for my mom against my wife's wishes
quote:
My(30M) mom has dementia. My wife(28F) knew that before entering into marriage with me. I had made it clear from the beginning that my mom will not be going anywhere. My wife was ok with it.
After marriage, I hired a caretaker and a nurse for my mom because of the increased workload at home. My wife was against the caretaker and nurse staying in our home because she felt like our privacy is being violated. I told her she can go sit in the bedroom if she wants privacy. She told me that it's her home too and she shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable. She told me to send my mom to a nursing home or an old age home.
I told her my mom won't be going anywhere while I'm alive. The nursing/old age homes are not good where I live. They're cruel and dismissive. They're also not properly equipped to take care of my mom.
My wife is pregnant now and feels even more uncomfortable with the nurse and caretaker being here.
I told her I'll happily get her a rented place right next to this home if she wants her privacy that much. However, she doesn't want to be away from me. I told her she made the choice before getting married to me and that I had warned her very well in advance before the marriage.
AITA?
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Oct 21, 2021 07:53
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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This one got me angry.
AITA for snapping at my wife and calling her selfish?
quote:
I never loved my daughter. Not really. I always hated the idea of children so me and my wife (but mostly me) were super careful. One way or the other though, she got pregnant. I know it happens sometimes, but my wife didn’t want to get rid of the baby. We talked about it for a bit but eventually we agreed to keep the baby because I didn’t want to make her feel like she had to do something she didn’t want to, especially with her child. So boom, baby. Except after she had the baby, it didn’t seem like she was taking care of her as much as she should have. Sometimes I would come home from work and the baby would be alone with my wife nowhere to be seen. I didn’t want the baby to live a life of being neglected and have us never give her a chance for a good childhood, so I tried to take care of the baby when I could. Admittedly, I was very bad at it. I didn’t know how to take care of a baby, which is something I should have begun researching when it was confirmed we were having the baby. I was also never really mentally prepared to care for a baby, as I had never wanted one and, truth be told, really despised children and taking care of them. But regardless, I still tried to take care of her when my wife wasn’t around, which was a lot of the time. Fast forward 15 years, my daughter is now 15 years old. I have taken care of this child, put her into school, spent money that I worked for on this kid that I never even wanted, for 15 years now. And my wife still seems to be absent for the child. One evening, we were eating dinner and my wife was talking about “how good of a baby she raised”. I snapped at her and told her that she had never raised this baby and that she was selfish for pushing her choice on me. Everything got quiet after that and we just sort of all left. I know that she was never present for our daughter and I guess everything from the past years just boiled over. But mostly, I feel bad about saying it in front of my daughter. I don’t want her to feel like she’s responsible or blame herself for me and my wife’s relationship. I want her to live a good life and I don’t want our conflict to ruin that for her.
So, AITA?
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Oct 21, 2021 07:57
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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The type of person who brings her emotional support beejohn to the dorms is the type of person who thinks the world revolves around them and that them getting caught means they are being harassed.
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Oct 21, 2021 14:58
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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I don't necessarily mind when people go off on tipping or share their 2 cents on socks with sandals or w/e, just as long as there's content to go along with it. Argue about punching babies all you want as long as you're posting some stories with it.
Also on a sorta related note, can we not do the thing where one person slams out like 4 stories back to back to back? Like within minutes of each other? It buries stuff and is also kind of obnoxious.
We can’t not do that, sorry.
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Oct 21, 2021 17:02
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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When I was little my dad was a blacksmith and a sheet metal worker. He had a close friend who was a welder and the guy’s party trick was taking pans out of the oven with his bare hands. I don’t know the temperatures involved but when I got older it always struck me as some absurd macho thing. My mom, a nurse, was horrified.
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Oct 21, 2021 19:36
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Are you truly a cook if your hands can still feel heat?
Are you truly a cook if you are sober enough to feel anything?
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Oct 21, 2021 19:46
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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TIFU by making my husband think I was going to prison and now I can't play Mario Party.
This is an example of a good prank.
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Oct 21, 2021 19:46
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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How hard do you have to be gripping a child's neck to leave bruises? The OP should be ghosting her mom, not the other way around.
Yeah, this is the thing that tips it from being an outrageously stupid crossing of boundaries to being just straight up abuse. If it were my kid I would have been in jail that night. I don’t know how she can even speak to her mom after defending that.
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Oct 21, 2021 22:44
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Gramps is a total dick. I don't have kids, and extreme limited experience around little ones, but don't they bruise like bananas? Or, is it the opposite where they have like super human resistant to bruising? For whatever unknown, uneducated reason, I assumed they would bruise if you poke them hard.
To be clear, not even saying it was an okay thing to do, and I hope they die alone, and G-ma should be cut off, too. more curious about the physiology of the little human involved.
Uh, not quite like a banana. That’s more like an old person on blood thinners. Like, some kids bruise easily, but even with that you should never put your hands on a kid in such a way as to bruise them unless maybe wrestling/roughhousing with a much older kid, and then bruises would still be a sign that you need to tone it down. If he had been at all gentle the kid wouldn’t have bruises. In my state leaving marks that last longer than 24 hours is the state’s definition of the line between physical discipline and physical abuse, which this absolutely was. The kid is only a year old.
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Oct 22, 2021 00:45
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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AITA for chipping dog poop into my neighbor's front yard?
quote:
I bought my house about three months ago. When I moved in, I noticed there were a couple dozen lumps of dried dog doo on one side of my front yard. Before I mowed the first time, I went out and picked them up with a plastic bag over my hand.
The next day I noticed a couple more fresh turds on my lawn, so I kept an eye out for the culprit. It didn't take long to realize that my next door neighbors have some sort of Benji-looking fluff ball of a pooch that they let out unattended a couple of times a day. The dog would sniff around for a while, then run over into my yard and poop every time. It was as if he were trained that way. The daily poo accumulation rate seemed to be two or three.
I hardly knew my neighbors, so I was hesitant to approach them with this sort of issue right out of the gate. I waited a couple of weeks, but I made sure to go out and pick up the poop while my neighbors were outside. One Saturday afternoon, I saw my neighbor out front while I was tending the garden. I said hello and started a simple conversation. After a few minutes, I mentioned the poop and said it would be appreciated if they could pick up after their dog. My neighbor laughed and said that's not from his dog... that there is a stray dog in the neighborhood that does that everywhere. Hmmm... what to do.
I decided to "train" my video doorbell to the poop zone and set the sensitivity to high. Within a week, I had a robust collection of video evidence incriminating my neighbor's dog. I'm no poo-pathologist, but it's also pretty clear to me that all the poo in my yard came from the same doggo bung hole.
Armed with mountains of evidence, I took the opportunity to approach my neighbor's wife when she was walking the dog. I didn't go into forensic details, but simply asked her if she wouldn't mind picking up after her dog in my yard. She also denied it, and the conversation ended awkwardly at best.
I spent several more days noodling over what to do and decided to take matters into my own hands. I pulled a pitching wedge out of my golf bag and proceeded to chip dog scat from my front yard into my neighbors. Beyond solving my immediate problem, I could also work a bit on my short game.
This went on for a some time. It became a weekly ritual that I sort of enjoyed. I did it without shame and in broad daylight. Everything was copacetic until last Saturday.
I was out doing my thing when my neighbor's wife barged out her front door screaming. She told me that I can't do that and called me every name in the book (including the obligatory A-hole word). I tried to keep my cool and told her that I was simply returning what was theirs. Last thing I heard was that she was calling the police as she left. I continued and finished up my chipping session.
I never heard from the police, I haven't seen my neighbors' faces and I haven't seen another poop on my lawn. I'll probably have a horrible relationship with my neighbors forever now, but my immediate problem is solved. AITA?
{EDIT} Lots of discussion about whether or not I showed the video. In my second encounter with the neighbor, I told them I had video of it. She said something like "WHAT!!!", the conversation escalated to awkward and ended shortly after... So I did NOT show the video, but I did tell them I had it.
My personal hero.
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Oct 22, 2021 01:02
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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AITA for not attending my sister's wedding due to it being child free?
quote:
My sister's getting married in a month and she just now announced that her wedding is gonna be child free. I don't mind the idea, my wedding was child free too and I'm a believer of child free weddings in general.
But the thing is, I'm a mother of two kids. One of them is 2 years old and heavily disabled and I can't afford to find care for her. The other one is barely a month old.
To explain some things. My sister lives 8 hours away and that's where her wedding will be. She'll rent out hotel rooms for the main family members (parents and siblings of the couple), we'll spend 3 days there, one day before the wedding, the day of and one day after. The thing is the hotel she booked also has a no kid policy so anyone in the family with kids should hire a baby sitter for those 3 days. I wouldn't mind hiring a babysitter but it's a last minute announcement and to my area its nearly impossible to find a babysitter who can care for a special needs child and a newborn. Also I can't be away for 3 days from my newborn since I have to breastfeed.
My husband and I had a discussion that either he or I should stay behind with the kids and one of us could attend the wedding. I could leave some breast milk on the special bags in the fridge for him to give our newborn if I went to the wedding. We thought that this would be a good compromise.
When I told my sister she got mad, said I'm not thinking of her special day and demands I find a babysitter and we come as a couple. I asked what's her deal with me attending the wedding alone and she didn't give a clear explanation she just said I'm TA for even daring to think that not attending the wedding as a couple with my husband would be acceptable. I told her I'm sorry for that but my kid's needs come first, I respect her decisions and rules about the wedding but it's a last minute announcement and I can't find a babysitter right now (I've searched for endless hours so this solution was my last resort) and since the hotel has a no kids policy and I can't bring the kids to the hotel at least so they'd be near in case of need, then one of the parents stays behind. If they were allowed in the hotel I wouldn't have trouble finding a babysitter for few hours but a whole 3 day weekend is impossible.
My parents have told me I'm TA for ruining my sister's wedding but I can't understand how that would possibly ruin her wedding at all. I told them that since she had a child free wedding she should expect that some people might not be able to show up and that not everyone has the money to give to a babysitter every time they are invited to a child free wedding and she should be ok with people not coming if they can't. AITA?
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Oct 22, 2021 02:47
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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AITA for telling my gf I can't be a parent because she won't let me?
quote:
Gf and I have been together 10 years. Never married due to commitment issues on her part. She conceived using donor sperm, and while the child is biologically and legally hers alone, I've been raising the child together since day one. Child will turn 6 soon. We both work full time and split the expenses but I do the lion's share of chores, if it matters.
Problem is, as the child grows, she becomes increasingly protective. By protective, I mean she doesn't let me use common parenting methods, like natural consequences and setting boundaries. Every thing I try to do, she undermines/undoes it. This is NOT what we had agreed upon before having the child. We took parenting classes, read books and attended workshops. Now it seems she has thrown all that out the window. Our child can do whatever she wants, eat only jellybeans for breakfast if so she fancies, stay up past midnight if she still wants to play. Of course that is not healthy. She's doodled on my work laptop and gf wouldn't even let me sit her down to explain why it's wrong. In short, she doesn't say no, doesn't teach child right from wrong, and doesn't let me do it. The kindergarten teachers have already complained a ton about behavior issues and suggest that we have our child evaluated, which we did. The specialist gave us some insightful advice that gf chose to ignore because she believes her child is perfect, and she is actively preventing me from carrying out those advice (such as setting a schedule, limit sugary foods etc.)
I tried to sit gf down for a serious talk, more times than I cared to count. She doesn't see a problem. I suggested therapy and ended up going alone because gf thinks the only one having a problem is me. Child apparently picked that up and thinks I'm the bad guy in the house. I wanted to try harder because I really love the child even if she's not mine biologically. But today I overheard gf tell her that I "still need to earn the parent title" and I broke. I pulled her aside and told her I can never be the child's parent because she won't let me. Now she's mad, accusing me of trying to abandon our child and giving me the cold shoulder. I think I'm the rear end in a top hat because, while I didn't say it in front of the child, she's a smart kid and picks up things pretty fast. I think I've let her down.
INFO: She used donor sperm because of her commitment issues. She wanted the child to be solely hers so that there will be no legal battles over custody should we break up.
INFO 2: A lot of you are asking why I ok'd using donor sperm. Short answer is I don't care about blood. My parents are despicable people and their lineage will end with me. Also it's legit donor sperm that we picked together from a sperm bank.
Didn't think I'd wake up to so many comments. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I apologize for not replying to all but I promise to read and think through every one.
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Oct 22, 2021 02:54
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Kid bruising chat:
I was a skinny kid who always bruised, no matter how carefully I played. (With also having three bruised, skinny siblings, I'm frankly glad my parents weren't accused of abusing us!) Some people bruise super easily, and it's weird to explain to people. I actually recently (I'm in my mid-30s) banged into a wall and my shoulder turned chartreuse for two weeks. I still have scars from shaving my legs while drunk in my early 20s. So, yeah, people are weirdly different about it. My older niece is like me, but my younger one was nicknamed "Teflon" as a toddler because the kid is just weirdly tough and doesn't get banged up by anything. 
That said, pushing a baby into their birthday cake by their neck? Murder. I'd be in jail like the other goon said.
The other part of that is that mandatory reporters and the child welfare people are used to seeing the normal bruises that kids get from bonking their shins into things or falling on their knees or elbows. So unless you ran your eye or your cheek into a doorknob or something like that that looked like someone struck you, probably nothing would happen.
But the neck? I think there are only a handful of ways one bruises one’s neck and nearly all of them are concerning.
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Oct 22, 2021 04:05
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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AITA for being upset that my roommate didn't tell us he was bisexual?
quote:
So here's the situation:
I (25F) live with my cousin Bree (27F) in a small 3 bedroom townhouse and last year we welcomed in another roommate "Claude" (25M) to rent the 3rd room.
From the very beginning, Claude told us he was gay and had a long distance boyfriend. Both me and my cousin assumed by "gay" he meant he was exclusively attracted to men and NOT women. With us, Claude would only refer to himself as gay ... never bi or bisexual. Obviously we just assumed he was male attracted only.
Because we assumed our roomate Claude was gay, Bree and I let our guards down when it came to clothing...
We'd walk around the house in skimpy clothing and underwear all the time, especially when it was a hot day. We felt comfortable coming out of the shower in a small towel and walking around the house or sitting on the couch with only a small towel wrapped around our bodies to cover us. When we came home from work we'd often take our bras off and walk around the house braless. We'd also often walk around in just a shirt and panties.
Claude was perfectly okay with this (we checked with him to make sure he wasn't uncomfortable with female half nudity), and again, we assumed he was male attracted only so no issue...
So recently Claude broke up with his long distance boyfriend. He's been on tinder and yesterday he showed me a picture of someone he's going on a date with this Saturday and ...she's a woman???
I was obviously confused and asked Claude "umm, why are you going on a date with a woman? I thought you were gay??" Claude laughed and said he was actually bisexual, but usually just referred to himself as gay.
I admit, I got pretty upset. I asked why in the 12 months he's been living with us he never told us he was bisexual? He asked why it was a big deal and i said that I would never have walked around the house in my underwear if I knew he was also attracted to women.
I also told Claude he should've known better and been upfront that he was bisexual when moving in with 2 women. Because if you just say "gay" of course we're going to assume you mean male only attracted unless you state otherwise.
Claude was upset and called my biphobic ... but I told him I wasn't, I was just upset that he didn't disclose he was also attracted to women when moving in with 2 women... especially considering Bree and I were walking around half nude all the time under the assumption he only liked men. Why wouldn't he just clarify he was bisexual with us earlier ???
So I guess I wanted to ask this sub, am I biphobic rear end in a top hat? Maybe I am and I'm just not seeing it...
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Oct 22, 2021 05:41
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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It's great for winning arguments, depending on how upsetting you look
All I can say is it’s a good thing homegroan isn’t allowed on the forums.
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Oct 22, 2021 06:25
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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YTA. He's under no obligation to provide you with a list of what does and does not give him a boner. You, however, are under social obligation to not make your living arrangement awkward as gently caress by walking around half naked in front of people.
Not necessarily. There's a whole bunch of reasons why a bisexual man would define himself as "gay" and I think that's likely to be the case here. I don't buy this guy being some sort of mastermind who lied about his sexuality in the hope that OP and her cousin were weirdos who think it's fine to wander around half naked in shared housing.
It’s pretty common for people to walk around partially dressed in their own home unless there is a visitor or someone who might make it awkward. She was obviously a lot more comfortable doing that in front of a gay man than someone who might enjoy the show. It’s possible she wouldn’t have even roomed with a guy that she thought was attracted to women.
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Oct 22, 2021 06:29
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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They aren’t assholes for having a kid just because mom lives there and has dementia. Multi-generational homes are the rule, not the exception, in a lot of the world. His wife married him and moved in knowing that his mother was there and needed to be cared for. If dude was being traditional about it, he would tell his wife that she needs to take care of her mother in law. Instead he’s doing something much better and hiring a caregiver. He was pretty upfront about his mom not going anywhere. His wife is being a tad unreasonable.
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Oct 22, 2021 06:57
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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If paternity is established then they may have a claim.
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Oct 22, 2021 07:33
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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AITA for wearing clothes that my step mom gave me around my mom?
quote:
I (20 F) have divorced parents. It was a really bitter divorce and my dad remarried afterwards, but my mom really hates my stepmom. She hates that I go to the gym where my stepmom works. She hates when I wear anything that my stepmom gave me. She hates when my stepmom does anything for me (unless it saves her money) and she hates when I wear things that LOOK like things my stepmom would wear. The thing is, I lost a lot of weight and so I don't have a lot of stuff that properly fits me. I have a lot of gymwear that my stepmom gave me and my mom tears me apart whenever I wear it. I know the divorce was bitter, but I just don't have a lot of clothes I can wear plus it's really starting to tear apart my self esteem being told I look like "that whore" (stepmom) when I'm wearing perfectly modest clothing.
quote: NTA although I wonder why your mom hates your stepmom. Did your dad cheat on your mom with your now stepmom?
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Oct 22, 2021 07:45
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Israel is something special about non white passing people.
Who would have ever thought that a genocidal apartheid state could be racist?
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Oct 22, 2021 16:11
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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AITA for telling my sister that it's not my fault that she is poor and her marriage is miserable?
quote:
I am Indian. Arranged marriages are a big thing here. The story starts when I was 18. My sister, Ani (who also had an arranged marriage to Abe and had 2 kids) tried to convince my parents to marry me off to Abe's close friend and business partner, Ben (who was 29 back then).
I was naive back then and everyone convinced me to marry Ben because he is nice and he would let me continue my studies and even let me work. My sister told me that getting married early meant that i get to spend more time to love him. She convinced me that arranged marriages work and I would be happy.
I believed them and agreed. Few days before my marriage, I found out that Abe owed Ben a lot of money and Ben said that he would forgive Abe's debt if he gets to marry me. I freaked out and "tested" Ben. I told him that I have already applied and paid the fees for my college. He yelled at me and told me that I shouldn't do anything without his permission. He told me that he was gonna let me study but now he is not going to.
I ran away from home that night with nothing but the clothes on my back. Cut everyone off. Went to a new city. Busted my rear end in college. Got a great job. Fell in love. Got married to another childfree Indian.
A year ago, my sister reached out to me. She found me by hiring someone to find me. She started off by wanting to be sisters again. Slowly, she started asking me for money. Snide remarks about how Abe threw her out of the house after I ran, how Ben screwed their family and left them nearly homeless as revenge, etc. It's like she is bi polar. Sometimes, she tells me that she too wished that she had run away and found a life like mine. Sometimes, she tells me that I was a selfish bitch that ruined her family and marriage.
She was going on one such rant yesterday and I lost it. I pretty much told her that it is not my fault that she is poor or that her marriage is miserable. I abruptly cut her off again and refused to send her any more money.
Aita here because she really does need that money and I earn enough that the amount I was sending her monthly wasn't making any dents for me. It also means that Abe might throw her / the kids out of the house again.
She called me crying and apologising but I told her to stop calling and blocked her.
She was married off when she was 20. She was never allowed to work. She doesn't have any support system there. So, I feel really guilty.
Ugh. I feel sorry for both of these women.
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Oct 22, 2021 16:39
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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AITA for asking another player in Dungeons & Dragons to change the name of their character because it goes against my religion?
quote:
I regularly play Dungeons & Dragons with a group of five, counting myself. There is the Dungeon Master and four players. I am friends with two other people outside D&D. With the other two, I have a friendly relationship that is limited to playing D&D. We've been playing for most of a year and have always gotten along.
I am Christian, and while my religion is very important to me, I do my best to be tolerant of other people and not to shove my religion down someone else's throat. I don't mention my religion to other people unless it comes up or they ask me. I can take jokes about my religion and personal beliefs, and do not consider myself uptight about it. I know that some Christians are very sensitive to parodies and the like, I either laugh or roll my eyes and move on. For example, while I avoid taking the Lord's name in vain, I don't really care if someone else does - it's their belief and choice.
Our group finished a short campaign and decided to start a new one, complete with new characters. We were all having fun making our characters, rolling, etc., until one of the players (we'll call him Ted) decided to name his character after the true, personal name of the Lord. If you don't know what that is, look up "The Tetragammon" or "HaShem" and you'll find out. I can't say it or type it here.
When I saw the name of Ted's character, I asked why he named it that, and he asked if I knew the true name of the Lord. I said I did, and said that the name offended me and asked him to change it. He laughed and said I was being too sensitive and that it was just a D&D character. I said that naming a character that goes against my religion and it was offensive to me, and I again asked him to change the name of the character.
The others got involved and after a few minutes of discussion, the others sided with Ted and told me to lighten up about it. One of them said that they didn't really care about Ted's character's name or my religion, but they wanted to get on with playing and that I needed to stop delaying the game. About a half hour later, we started playing, and for the rest of the night, I referred to Ted's character as "Ted's character," including when I was roleplaying and talking as my character. When I did that, the others rolled their eyes and the DM told me that this was stupid and shouldn't get in the way of roleplaying.
That was last week. Everyone else still thinks I'm in the wrong about this and making too big a deal of the whole thing. I don't want to cause trouble, but not only is it offensive to me for Ted to name his character that, my religion prohibits me from typing or saying the name of his character. AITA? Please help me figure out what to do. Other than this one incident, I've always thought Ted was a nice person, and we've gotten along fine.
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Oct 22, 2021 23:43
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Calling yourself a hardcore Christian then playing a game with magic and demons is very much the "pick and choose" style of what religious rules you want to follow.
The Messianic Jews that I have met have had no objection to D&D or magic cards or belief in sorcery, and it really sounds that that’s what we are dealing with. Also Protestants have a schism every time they can’t agree on what’s for dinner so your idea that extreme Protestants all have the same rules as beliefs is pretty unfounded.
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Oct 23, 2021 01:46
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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i don't live there anymore so i don't know what it's like now, but a lot of southern baptists i've met were weirdly into messianic judaism. my mother-in-law has been on like two trips to israel with her church. they do them yearly, and it's a very standard and typical southern baptist church.
It makes sense. They are both weirdly obsessed with the Old Testament poo poo. Probably because they really wish to see some man on man and man on sheep action.
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Oct 23, 2021 02:34
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Collaborative play games are supposed to be a place of trust and mutual fun. If someone sincerely asked me to change something about my character because they weren't having fun due to it, the ONLY MORALLY CORRECT MOVE YOU R/ATHEIST DINGBATS is to change it because you're trying to have fun among your friends, not prove that the silly godbotherers are irrational.
You dumb fuckers.
Yeah, the guy is doing it just to offend his religious sensibilities. It’s a dick move. I question how much these friends really like him or think of him as a friend.
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Oct 23, 2021 02:37
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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I'm just glad there's still pockets of nerddm so innocent of Online bullshit they can spontaneously reenact 2003-era edgelord atheism
This is a Web 2.0 forum.
I hope everyone in the comments finds Yahweh.
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Oct 23, 2021 02:41
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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My personal relationship with God means I get to call him Biggie Y
I’m OK with this but please refrain from calling our lord and savior “The Late, Great J. C.”
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Oct 23, 2021 02:58
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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after an employee died, her team has driven off anyone we hire to replace her
How does it not occur to this person to fire the lot of them?
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Oct 23, 2021 03:36
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Keeping them on violates the No Assholes Rule.
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Oct 23, 2021 03:55
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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This one’s not very interesting but the top comment was funny.
AITA for calling my cousin a delusional idiot after she told me her “life plan”?
quote:
I have a cousin called “Alice”. She has taken two gap years and has recently announced that she won’t be going to university after all. Her parents asked her what she was planning to do, and she said her plan was to do what I did but unlike me, she would be successful at it. My aunt told me this after she asked me to talk some sense into her.
I told her I didn’t want to get involved but Alice brought it up herself in front of me at a family gathering. She was telling our cousins about how they were all wasting their lives studying and working when they could just snag a rich man like she had almost done and that they were wasting their best years. I tried to mind my own business, but I knew someone was going to mention me, which they did. Her sister pointed out that marrying a rich man hadn’t worked out well for me and Alice turned around and basically said that I had failed because I was dumb and didn’t know how to keep my mouth shut and my legs open (these weren’t her exact words).
I’ve been sort of separated from my husband for almost 3 years and everybody in my family know it’s a sensitive subject for me, nobody except for my immediate family talks about it.
I asked her what her plan was exactly, and she told me she knew how to keep a man and she was “young and pretty” so she would find a rich man easily and live life in luxury. I asked her how many rich men she knew, and she got annoyed by my question and told me it was none of my business. I asked her where she thought I met my husband and told her the rest of our cousins had a better chance at finding a “rich man” than her. She got angry at me and said I was just bitter because she was going to have the life I thought I would have when I "baby trapped" my husband and that instead of focusing on her, I should focus on all of the women my husband was probably sleeping with right at that moment.
I told her she was a delusional idiot and that I hoped she woke up before she made the same mistakes I did. She called me a bitter bitch and ignored me for the rest of the day.
AITA?
quote:
Jazmadoodle
4h
Um... was your cousin born, like a human, or did she just spring into being when someone spilled Chemical X on an incel forum
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Oct 23, 2021 05:34
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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That’s not a fetish. That’s just something people like because it feels good. Unprotected sex is awesome, but the consequences aren’t always awesome so most people plan to prevent or mitigate those consequences, sometimes at the expense of comfort or pleasure. This guy, on t TV he other hand, doesn’t seem to have a functioning frontal lobe.
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Oct 23, 2021 06:42
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Whoa. I never thought a weeb with a live human girlfriend would be using one of those waifu pillows.
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Oct 23, 2021 07:56
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May 14, 2024 15:30
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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LOL I read that one before the edit and thought it was even more offensive than it already is.
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Oct 23, 2021 08:08
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Oct 20, 2021 04:51
